Chapter XX
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Vronsky’s life was particularly happy in
that he had a code of principles, which defined with unfailing
certitude what he ought and what he ought not to do. This code of
principles covered only a very small circle of contingencies, but
then the principles were never doubtful, and Vronsky, as he never
went outside that circle, had never had a moment’s hesitation about
doing what he ought to do. These principles laid down as invariable
rules: that one must pay a cardsharper, but need not pay a tailor;
that one must never tell a lie to a man, but one may to a woman;
that one must never cheat any one, but one may a husband; that one
must never pardon an insult, but one may give one and so on. These
principles were possibly not reasonable and not good, but they were
of unfailing certainty, and so long as he adhered to them, Vronsky
felt that his heart was at peace and he could hold his head up.
Only quite lately in regard to his relations with Anna, Vronsky had
begun to feel that his code of principles did not fully cover all
possible contingencies, and to foresee in the future difficulties
and perplexities for which he could find no guiding clue.
His present relation to Anna and to her husband was
to his mind clear and simple. It was clearly and precisely defined
in the code of principles by which he was guided.
She was an honorable woman who had bestowed her
love upon him, and he loved her, and therefore she was in his eyes
a woman who had a right to the same, or even more, respect than a
lawful wife. He would have had his hand chopped off before he would
have allowed himself by a word, by a hint, to humiliate her, or
even to fall short of the fullest respect a woman could look
for.
His attitude to society, too, was clear. Every one
might know, might suspect it, but no one might dare to speak of it.
If any did so, he was ready to force all who might speak to be
silent and to respect the nonexistent honor of the woman he
loved.
His attitude to the husband was the clearest of
all. From the moment that Anna loved Vronsky, he had regarded his
own right over her as the one thing unassailable. Her husband was
simply a superfluous and tiresome person. No doubt he was in a
pitiable position, but how could that be helped? The one thing the
husband had a right to was to demand satisfaction with a weapon in
his hand, and Vronsky was prepared for this at any minute.
But of late new inner relations had arisen between
him and her, which frightened Vronsky by their indefiniteness. Only
the day before she had told him that she was with child. And he
felt that this fact and what she expected of him called for
something not fully defined in that code of principles by which he
had hitherto steered his course in life. And he had been indeed
caught unawares, and at the first moment when she spoke to him of
her position, his heart had prompted him to beg her to leave her
husband. He had said that, but now thinking things over he saw
clearly that it would be better to manage to avoid that; and at the
same time, as he told himself so, he was afraid whether it was not
wrong.
“If I told her to leave her husband, that must mean
uniting her life with mine; am I prepared for that? How can I take
her away now, when I have no money? Supposing I could arrange . . .
But how can I take her away while I’m in the service? If I say
that—I ought to be prepared to do it, that is, I ought to have the
money and to retire from the army.”
And he grew thoughtful. The question whether to
retire from the service or not brought him to the other and perhaps
the chief though hidden interest of his life, of which none knew
but he.
Ambition was the old dream of his youth and
childhood, a dream which he did not confess even to himself, though
it was so strong that now this passion was even doing battle with
his love. His first steps in the world and in the service had been
successful, but two years before he had made a great mistake.
Anxious to show his independence and to advance, he had refused a
post that had been offered him, hoping that this refusal would
heighten his value; but it turned out that he had been too bold,
and he was passed over. And having, whether he liked or not, taken
up for himself the position of an independent man, he carried it
off with great tact and good sense, behaving as though he bore no
grudge against any one, did not regard himself as injured in any
way, and cared for nothing but to be left alone since he was
enjoying himself. In reality he had ceased to enjoy himself as long
ago as the year before, when he went away to Moscow. He felt that
this independent attitude of a man who might have done anything,
but cared to do nothing was already beginning to pall, that many
people were beginning to fancy that he was not really capable of
anything but being a straightforward, good-natured fellow. His
connection with Madame Karenina, by creating so much sensation and
attracting general attention, had given him a fresh distinction
which soothed his gnawing worm of ambition for a while, but a week
before that worm had been roused up again with fresh force. The
friend of his childhood, a man of the same set, of the same
coterie, his comrade in the Corps of Pages, Serpuhovskoy, who had
left school with him and had been his rival in class, in
gymnastics, in their scrapes and their dreams of glory, had come
back a few days before from Central Asia, where he had gained two
steps up in rank, and an order rarely bestowed upon generals so
young.
As soon as he arrived in Petersburg, people began
to talk about him as a newly risen star of the first magnitude. A
schoolfellow of Vronsky’s and of the same age, he was a general and
was expecting a command, which might have influence on the course
of political events; while Vronsky, independent and brilliant and
beloved by a charming woman though he was, was simply a cavalry
captain who was readily allowed to be as independent as ever he
liked. “Of course I don’t envy Serpuhovskoy and never could envy
him; but his advancement shows me that one has only to watch one’s
opportunity, and the career of a man like me may be very rapidly
made. Three years ago he was in just the same position as I am. If
I retire, I burn my ships. If I remain in the army, I lose nothing.
She said herself she did not wish to change her position. And with
her love I cannot feel envious of Serpuhovskoy.” And slowly
twirling his mustaches, he got up from the table and walked about
the room. His eyes shone particularly brightly, and he felt in that
confident, calm, and happy frame of mind which always came after he
had thoroughly faced his position. Everything was straight and
clear, just as after former days of reckoning. He shaved, took a
cold bath, dressed and went out.