Chapter VII
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Agafea Mihalovna went out on tiptoe; the
nurse let down the blind, chased a fly out from under the muslin
canopy of the crib, and a bumblebee struggling on the window-frame,
and sat down waving a faded branch of birch over the mother and the
baby.
“How hot it is! if God would send a drop of rain,”
she said.
“Yes, yes, sh—sh—sh——” was all Kitty answered,
rocking a little, and tenderly squeezing the plump little arm, with
rolls of fat at the wrist, which Mitya still waved feebly as he
opened and shut his eyes. That hand worried Kitty; she longed to
kiss the little hand, but was afraid to for fear of waking the
baby. At last the little hand ceased waving, and the eyes closed.
Only from time to time, as he went on sucking, the baby raised his
long, curly eyelashes and peeped at his mother with wet eyes, that
looked black in the twilight. The nurse had left off fanning, and
was dozing. From above came the peals of the old prince’s voice,
and the chuckle of Katavasov.
“They have got into talk without me,” thought
Kitty, “but still it’s vexing that Kostya’s out. He’s sure to have
gone to the bee-house again. Though it’s a pity he’s there so
often, still I’m glad. It distracts his mind. He’s become
altogether happier and better now than in the spring. He used to be
so gloomy and worried that I felt frightened for him. And how
absurd he is!” she whispered, smiling.
She knew what worried her husband. It was his
unbelief. Although, if she had been asked whether she supposed that
in the future life, if he did not believe, he would be damned, she
would have had to admit that he would be damned, his unbelief did
not cause her unhappiness. And she, confessing that for an
unbeliever there can be no salvation, and loving her husband’s soul
more than anything in the world, thought with a smile of his
unbelief, and told herself that he was absurd.
“What does he keep reading philosophy of some sort
for all this year?” she wondered. “If it’s all written in those
books, he can understand them. If it’s all wrong, why does he read
them? He says himself that he would like to believe. Then why is it
he doesn’t believe? Surely from his thinking so much? And he thinks
so much from being solitary. He’s always alone, alone. He can’t
talk about it all to us. I fancy he’ll be glad of these visitors,
especially Katavasov. He likes discussions with them,” she thought,
and passed instantly to the consideration of where it would be more
convenient to put Katavasov, to sleep alone or to share Sergey
Ivanovitch’s room. And then an idea suddenly struck her, which made
her shudder and even disturb Mitya, who glanced severely at her. “I
do believe the laundress hasn’t sent the washing yet, and all the
best sheets are in use. If I don’t see to it, Agafea Mihalovna will
give Sergey Ivanovitch the wrong sheets,” and at the very idea of
this the blood rushed to Kitty’s face.
“Yes, I will arrange it,” she decided, and going
back to her former thoughts, she remembered that some spiritual
question of importance had been interrupted, and she began to
recall what. “Yes, Kostya, an unbeliever,” she thought again with a
smile.
“Well, an unbeliever then! Better let him always be
one than like Madame Stahl, or what I tried to be in those days
abroad. No, he won’t ever sham anything.”
And a recent instance of his goodness rose vividly
to her mind. A fortnight ago a penitent letter had come from Stepan
Arkadyevitch to Dolly. He besought her to save his honor, to sell
her estate to pay his debts. Dolly was in despair, she detested her
husband, despised him, pitied him, resolved on a separation,
resolved to refuse, but ended by agreeing to sell part of her
property. After that, with an irrepressible smile of tenderness,
Kitty recalled her husband’s shamefaced embarrassment, his repeated
awkward efforts to approach the subject, and how at last, having
thought of the one means of helping Dolly without wounding her
pride, he had suggested to Kitty—what had not occurred to her
before—that she should give up her share of the property.
“He an unbeliever indeed! With his heart, his dread
of offending any one, even a child! Everything for others, nothing
for himself. Sergey Ivanovitch simply considers it as Kostya’s duty
to be his steward. And it’s the same with his sister. Now Dolly and
her children are under his guardianship; all these peasants who
come to him every day, as though he were bound to be at their
service.”
“Yes, only be like your father, only like him,” she
said, handing Mitya over to the nurse, and putting her lips to his
cheek.