Chapter IX
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At four o’clock, conscious of his throbbing
heart, Levin stepped out of a hired sledge at the Zoological
Gardens, and turned along the path to the frozen mounds and the
skating-ground, knowing that he would certainly find her there, as
he had seen the Shtcherbatskys’ carriage at the entrance.
It was a bright, frosty day. Rows of carriages,
sledges, drivers, and policemen were standing in the approach.
Crowds of well-dressed people, with hats bright in the sun, swarmed
about the entrance and along the well-swept little paths between
the little houses adorned with carving in the Russian style. The
old curly birches of the gardens, all their twigs laden with snow,
looked as though freshly decked in sacred vestments.
He walked along the path towards the
skating-ground, and kept saying to himself—“You mustn’t be excited,
you must be calm. What’s the matter with you? What do you want? Be
quiet, stupid,” he conjured his heart. And the more he tried to
compose himself, the more breathless he found himself. An
acquaintance met him and called him by his name, but Levin did not
even recognize him. He went towards the mounds, whence came the
clank of the chains of sledges as they slipped down or were dragged
up, the rumble of the sliding sledges, and the sounds of merry
voices. He walked on a few steps, and the skating-ground lay open
before his eyes, and at once, amidst all the skaters, he knew
her.
He knew she was there by the rapture and the terror
that seized on his heart. She was standing talking to a lady at the
opposite end of the ground. There was apparently nothing striking
either in her dress or her attitude. But for Levin she was as easy
to find in that crowd as a rose among nettles. Everything was made
bright by her. She was the smile that shed light on all round her.
“Is it possible I can go over there on the ice, go up to her?” he
thought. The place where she stood seemed to him a holy shrine,
unapproachable, and there was one moment when he was almost
retreating, so overwhelmed was he with terror. He had to make an
effort to master himself, and to remind himself that people of all
sorts were moving about her, and that he too might come there to
skate. He walked down, for a long while avoiding looking at her as
at the sun, but seeing her, as one does the sun, without
looking.
On that day of the week and at that time of day
people of one set, all acquainted with one another, used to meet on
the ice. There were crack skaters there, showing off their skill,
and learners clinging to chairs with timid, awkward movements,
boys, and elderly people skating with hygienic motives. They seemed
to Levin an elect band of blissful beings because they were here,
near her. All the skaters, it seemed, with perfect self-possession,
skated towards her, skated by her, even spoke to her, and were
happy, quite apart from her, enjoying the capital ice and the fine
weather.
Nikolay Shtcherbatsky, Kitty’s cousin, in a short
jacket and tight trousers, was sitting on a garden seat with his
skates on. Seeing Levin, he shouted to him:
“Ah, the first skater in Russia! Been here long?
First-rate ice—do put your skates on.”
“I haven’t got my skates,” Levin answered,
marveling at this boldness and ease in her presence, and not for
one second losing sight of her, though he did not look at her. He
felt as though the sun were coming near him. She was in a corner,
and turning out her slender feet in their high boots with obvious
timidity, she skated towards him. A boy in Russian dress,
desperately waving his arms and bowed down to the ground, overtook
her. She skated a little uncertainly; taking her hands out of the
little muff that hung on a cord, she held them ready for emergency,
and looking towards Levin, whom she had recognized, she smiled at
him, and at her own fears. When she had got round the turn, she
gave herself a push off with one foot, and skated straight up to
Shtcherbatsky. Clutching at his arm, she nodded smiling to Levin.
She was more splendid than he had imagined her.
When he thought of her, he could call up a vivid
picture of her to himself, especially the charm of that little fair
head, so freely set on the shapely girlish shoulders, and so full
of childish brightness and good-humor. The childishness of her
expression, together with the delicate beauty of her figure, made
up her special charm, and that he fully realized. But what always
struck him in her as something unlooked for, was the expression of
her eyes, soft, serene, and truthful, and above all, her smile,
which always transported Levin to an enchanted world, where he felt
himself softened and tender, as he remembered himself in some days
of his early childhood.
“Have you been here long?” she said, giving him her
hand. “Thank you,” she added, as he picked up the handkerchief that
had fallen out of her muff.
“I? I’ve not long ... yesterday ... I mean to-day
... I arrived,” answered Levin, in his emotion not at once
understanding her question. “I was meaning to come and see you,” he
said; and then, recollecting with what intention he was trying to
see her, he was promptly overcome with confusion and blushed.
“I didn’t know you could skate, and skate so
well.”
She looked at him earnestly, as though wishing to
make out the cause of his confusion.
“Your praise is worth having. The tradition is kept
up here that you are the best of skaters,” she said, with her
little black-gloved hand brushing a grain of hoarfrost off her
muff.
“Yes, I used once to skate with passion; I wanted
to reach perfection.”
“You do everything with passion, I think,” she said
smiling. “I should so like to see how you skate. Put on skates, and
let us skate together.”
“Skate together! Can that be possible?” thought
Levin, gazing at her.
“I’ll put them on directly,” he said.
And he went off to get skates.
“It’s a long while since we’ve seen you here, sir,”
said the attendant, supporting his foot, and screwing on the heel
of the skate. “Except you, there’s none of the gentlemen first-rate
skaters. Will that be all right?” said he, tightening the
strap.
“Oh, yes, yes; make haste, please,” answered Levin,
with difficulty restraining the smile of rapture which would
overspread his face. “Yes,” he thought, “this now is life, this is
happiness! Together, she said; let us skate together! Speak to her
now? But that’s just why I’m afraid to speak—because I’m happy now,
happy in hope, anyway.... And then? ... But I must! I must! I must!
Away with weakness!”
Levin rose to his feet, took off his overcoat, and
scurrying over the rough ice round the hut, came out on the smooth
ice and skated without effort, as it were, by simple exercise of
will, increasing and slackening speed and turning his course. He
approached with timidity, but again her smile reassured him.
She gave him her hand, and they set off side by
side, going faster and faster, and the more rapidly they moved the
more tightly she grasped his hand.
“With you I should soon learn; I somehow feel
confidence in you,” she said to him.
“And I have confidence in myself when you are
leaning on me,” he said, but was at once panic-stricken at what he
had said, and blushed. And indeed, no sooner had he uttered these
words, when all at once, like the sun going behind a cloud, her
face lost all its friendliness, and Levin detected the familiar
change in her expression that denoted the working of thought; a
crease showed on her smooth brow.
“Is there anything troubling you?—though I’ve no
right to ask such a question,” he said hurriedly.
“Oh, why so? ... No, I have nothing to trouble me,”
she responded coldly; and she added immediately: “You haven’t seen
Mlle Linon, have you?”
“Not yet.”
“Go and speak to her, she likes you so much.”
“What’s wrong? I have offended her. Lord help me!”
thought Levin, and he flew towards the old Frenchwoman with the
gray ringlets, who was sitting on a bench. Smiling and showing her
false teeth, she greeted him as an old friend.
“Yes, you see we’re growing up,” she said to him,
glancing towards Kitty, “and growing old. Tiny bear1 has
grown big now!” pursued the Frenchwoman, laughing, and she reminded
him of his joke about the three young ladies whom he had compared
to the three bears in the English nursery tale. “Do you remember
that’s what you used to call them?”
He remembered absolutely nothing, but she had been
laughing at the joke for ten years now, and was fond of it.
“Now, go and skate, go and skate. Our Kitty has
learned to skate nicely, hasn’t she?”
When Levin darted up to Kitty her face was no
longer stern; her eyes looked at him with the same sincerity and
friendliness, but Levin fancied that in her friendliness there was
a certain note of deliberate composure. And he felt depressed.
After talking a little of her old governess and her peculiarities,
she questioned him about his life.
“Surely you must be dull in the country in the
winter, aren’t you?” she said.
“No, I’m not dull, I am very busy,” he said,
feeling that she was holding him in check by her composed tone,
which he would not have the force to break through, just as it had
been at the beginning of the winter.
“Are you going to stay in town long?” Kitty
questioned him.
“I don’t know,” he answered, not thinking of what
he was saying. The thought that if he were held in check by her
tone of quiet friendliness he would end by going back again without
deciding anything came into his mind, and he resolved to make a
struggle against it.
“How is it you don’t know?”
“I don’t know. It depends upon you,” he said, and
was immediately horror-stricken at his own words.
Whether it was that she had heard his words, or
that she did not want to hear them, she made a sort of stumble,
twice struck out, and hurriedly skated away from him. She skated up
to Mile Linon, said something to her, and went towards the pavilion
where the ladies took off their skates.
“My God! what have I done! Merciful God! help me,
guide me,” said Levin, praying inwardly, and at the same time,
feeling a need of violent exercise, he skated about, describing
inner and outer circles.
At that moment one of the young men, the best of
the skaters of the day, came out of the coffee-house in his skates,
with a cigarette in his mouth. Taking a run, he dashed down the
steps in his skates, crashing and bounding up and down. He flew
down, and without even changing the position of his hands, skated
away over the ice.
“Ah, that’s a new trick!” said Levin, and he
promptly ran up to the top to do this new trick.
“Don’t break your neck! it needs practice!” Nikolay
Shtcherbatsky shouted after him.
Levin went to the steps, took a run from above as
best he could, and dashed down, preserving his balance in this
unwonted movement with his hands. On the last step he stumbled, but
barely touching the ice with his hand, with a violent effort
recovered himself, and skated off, laughing.
“How splendid, how nice he is!” Kitty was thinking
at that time, as she came out of the pavilion with Mlle Linon, and
looked towards him with a smile of quiet affection, as though he
were a favorite brother. “And can it be my fault, can I have done
anything wrong? They talk of flirtation. I know it’s not he that I
love; but still I am happy with him, and he’s so jolly. Only, why
did he say that? ...” she mused.
Catching sight of Kitty going away, and her mother
meeting her at the steps, Levin, flushed from his rapid exercise,
stood still and pondered a minute. He took off his skates, and
overtook the mother and daughter at the entrance of the
gardens.
“Delighted to see you,” said Princess
Shtcherbatskaya. “On Thursdays we are home, as always.”
“To-day, then?”
“We shall be pleased to see you,” the princess said
stiffly.
This stiffness hurt Kitty, and she could not resist
the desire to smooth over her mother’s coldness. She turned her
head, and with a smile said:
“Good-bye till this evening.”
At that moment Stepan Arkadyevitch, his hat cocked
on one side, with beaming face and eyes, strode into the garden
like a conquering hero. But as he approached his mother-in-law, he
responded in a mournful and crestfallen tone to her inquiries about
Dolly’s health. After a little subdued and dejected conversation
with his mother-in-law, he threw out his chest again, and put his
arm in Levin’s.
“Well, shall we set off?” he asked. “I’ve been
thinking about you all this time, and I’m very, very glad you’ve
come,” he said, looking him in the face with a significant
air.
“Yes, come along,” answered Levin in ecstasy,
hearing unceasingly the sound of that voice saying, “Good-bye till
this evening,” and seeing the smile with which it was said.
“To the England or the Hermitage?”2
“I don’t mind which.”
“All right, then, the England,” said Stepan
Arkadyevitch, selecting that restaurant because he owed more there
than at the Hermitage, and consequently considered it mean to avoid
it. “Have you got a sledge? That’s first-rate, for I sent my
carriage home.”
The friends hardly spoke all the way. Levin was
wondering what that change in Kitty’s expression had meant, and
alternately assuring himself that there was hope, and falling into
despair, seeing clearly that his hopes were insane, and yet all the
while he felt himself quite another man, utterly unlike what he had
been before her smile and those words, “Good-bye till this
evening.”
Stepan Arkadyevitch was absorbed during the drive
in composing the menu of the dinner.
“You like turbot, don’t you?” he said to Levin as
they were arriving.
“Eh?” responded Levin. “Turbot? Yes, I’m
awfully fond of turbot.”