Chapter IX
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Anna came in with hanging head, playing
with the tassels of her hood. Her face was brilliant and glowing;
but this glow was not one of brightness; it suggested the fearful
glow of a conflagration in the midst of a dark night. On seeing her
husband, Anna raised her head and smiled, as though she had just
waked up.
“You’re not in bed? What a wonder!” she said,
letting fall her hood, and, without stopping, she went on into the
dressing-room. “It’s late, Alexey Alexandrovitch,” she said, when
she had gone through the doorway.
“Anna, it’s necessary for me to have a talk with
you.”
“With me?” she said, wonderingly. She came out from
behind the door of the dressing-room, and looked at him. “Why, what
is it? What about?” she asked, sitting down. “Well, let’s talk, if
it’s so necessary. But it would be better to get to sleep.”
Anna said what came to her lips, and marveled,
hearing herself, at her own capacity for lying. How simple and
natural were her words, and how likely that she was simply sleepy!
She felt herself clad in an impenetrable armor of falsehood. She
felt that some unseen force had come to her aid and was supporting
her.
“Anna, I must warn you,” he began.
“Warn me?” she said. “Of what?”
She looked at him so simply, so brightly, that any
one who did not know her as her husband knew her could not have
noticed anything unnatural, either in the sound or the sense of her
words. But to him, knowing her, knowing that whenever he went to
bed five minutes later than usual, she noticed it, and asked him
the reason; to him, knowing that every joy, every pleasure and pain
that she felt she communicated to him at once; to him, now to see
that she did not care to notice his state of mind, that she did not
care to say a word about herself, meant a great deal. He saw that
the inmost recesses of her soul, that had always hitherto lain open
before him, were closed against him. More than that, he saw from
her tone that she was not even perturbed at that, but as it were
said straight out to him: “Yes, it’s shut up, and so it must be,
and will be in future.” Now he experienced a feeling such as a man
might have, returning home and finding his own house locked up.
“But perhaps the key may yet be found,” thought Alexey
Alexandrovitch.
“I want to warn you,” he said in a low voice, “that
through thoughtlessness and lack of caution you may cause yourself
to be talked about in society. Your too animated conversation this
evening with Count Vronsky” (he enunciated the name firmly and with
deliberate emphasis) “attracted attention.”
He talked and looked at her laughing eyes, which
frightened him now with their impenetrable look, and, as he talked,
he felt all the uselessness and idleness of his words.
“You’re always like that,” she answered as though
completely misapprehending him, and of all he had said only taking
in the last phrase. “One time you don’t like my being dull, and
another time you don’t like my being lively. I wasn’t dull. Does
that offend you?”
Alexey Alexandrovitch shivered, and bent his hands
to make the joints crack.
“Oh, please, don’t do that, I do so dislike it,”
she said.
“Anna, is this you?” said Alexey Alexandrovitch,
quietly making an effort over himself, and restraining the motion
of his fingers.
“But what is it all about?” she said, with such
genuine and droll wonder. “What do you want of me?”
Alexey Alexandrovitch paused, and rubbed his
forehead and his eyes. He saw that instead of doing as he had
intended—that is to say, warning his wife against a mistake in the
eyes of the world—he had unconsciously become agitated over what
was the affair of her conscience, and was struggling against the
barrier he fancied between them.
“This is what I meant to say to you,” he went on
coldly and composedly, “and I beg you to listen to it. I consider
jealousy, as you know, a humiliating and degrading feeling, and I
shall never allow myself to be influenced by it; but there are
certain rules of decorum which cannot be disregarded with impunity.
This evening it was not I observed it, but judging by the
impression made on the company, every one observed that your
conduct and deportment were not altogether what could be
desired.”
“I positively don’t understand,” said Anna,
shrugging her shoulders.—“He doesn’t care,” she thought. “But other
people noticed it, and that’s what upsets him.”—“You’re not well,
Alexey Alexandrovitch,” she added, and she got up, and would have
gone towards the door; but he moved forward as though he would stop
her.
His face was ugly and forbidding, as Anna had never
seen him. She stopped, and bending her head back and on one side,
began with her rapid hand taking out her hairpins.
“Well, I’m listening to what’s to come,” she said,
calmly and ironically; “and indeed I listen with interest, for I
should like to understand what’s the matter.”
She spoke, and marveled at the confident, calm, and
natural tone in which she was speaking, and the choice of the words
she used.
“To enter into all the details of your feelings I
have no right, and besides, I regard that as useless and even
harmful,” began Alexey Alexandrovitch. “Ferreting in one’s soul,
one often ferrets out something that might have lain there
unnoticed. Your feelings are an affair of your own conscience; but
I am in duty bound to you, to myself, and to God, to point out to
you your duties. Our life has been joined, not by man, but by God.
That union can only be severed by a crime, and a crime of that
nature brings its own chastisement.”
“I don’t understand a word. And, oh dear! how
sleepy I am, unluckily,” she said, rapidly passing her hand through
her hair, feeling for the remaining hairpins.
“Anna, for God’s sake don’t speak like that!” he
said gently. “Perhaps I am mistaken, but believe me, what I say, I
say as much for myself as for you. I am your husband, and I love
you.”
For an instant her face fell, and the mocking gleam
in her eyes died away; but the word love threw her into revolt
again. She thought: “Love? Can he love? If he hadn’t heard there
was such a thing as love, he would never have used the word.1 He
doesn’t even know what love is.”
“Alexey Alexandrovitch, really I don’t understand,”
she said. “Define what it is you find . . .”
“Pardon, let me say all I have to say. I love you.
But I am not speaking of myself; the most important persons in this
matter are our son and yourself. It may very well be, I repeat,
that my words seem to you utterly unnecessary and out of place; it
may be that they are called forth by my mistaken impression. In
that case, I beg you to forgive me. But if you are conscious
yourself of even the smallest foundation for them, then I beg you
to think a little, and if your heart prompts you, to speak out to
me....”
Alexey Alexandrovitch was unconsciously saying
something utterly unlike what he had prepared.
“I have nothing to say. And besides,” she said
hurriedly, with difficulty repressing a smile, “it’s really time to
be in bed.”
Alexey Alexandrovitch sighed, and, without saying
more, went into the bedroom.
When she came into the bedroom, he was already in
bed. His lips were sternly compressed, and his eyes looked away
from her. Anna got into her bed, and lay expecting every minute
that he would begin to speak to her again. She both feared his
speaking and wished for it. But he was silent. She waited for a
long while without moving, and had forgotten about him. She thought
of that other; she pictured him, and felt how her heart was flooded
with emotion and guilty delight at the thought of him. Suddenly she
heard an even, tranquil snore. For the first instant Alexey
Alexandrovitch seemed, as it were, appalled at his own snoring, and
ceased; but after an interval of two breathings the snore sounded
again, with a new tranquil rhythm.
“It’s late, it’s late,” she whispered with a smile.
A long while she lay, not moving, with open eyes, whose brilliance
she almost fancied she could herself see in the darkness.