Chapter XIII

None but those who were most intimate with
Alexey Alexandro-vitch knew that, while on the surface the coldest
and most reasonable of men, he had one weakness quite opposed to
the general trend of his character. Alexey Alexandrovitch could not
hear or see a child or woman crying without being moved. The sight
of tears threw him into a state of nervous agitation, and he
utterly lost all power of reflection. The chief secretary of his
department and his private secretary were aware of this, and used
to warn women who came with petitions on no account to give way to
tears, if they did not want to ruin their chances. “He will get
angry, and will not listen to you,” they used to say. And as a
fact, in such cases the emotional disturbance set up in Alexey
Alexandrovitch by the sight of tears found expression in hasty
anger. “I can do nothing. Kindly leave the room!” he would commonly
cry in such cases.
When returning from the races Anna had informed him
of her relations with Vronsky, and immediately afterwards had burst
into tears, hiding her face in her hands, Alexey Alexandrovitch,
for all the fury aroused in him against her, was aware at the same
time of a rush of that emotional disturbance always produced in him
by tears. Conscious of it, and conscious that any expression of his
feelings at that minute would be out of keeping with the position,
he tried to suppress every manifestation of life in himself, and so
neither stirred nor looked at her. This was what had caused that
strange expression of deathlike rigidity in his face which had so
impressed Anna.
When they reached the house he helped her to get
out of the carriage, and making an effort to master himself, took
leave of her with his usual urbanity, and uttered that phrase that
bound him to nothing; he said that to-morrow he would let her know
his decision.
His wife’s words, confirming his worst suspicions,
had sent a cruel pang to the heart of Alexey Alexandrovitch. That
pang was intensified by the strange feeling of physical pity for
her set up by her tears. But when he was all alone in the carriage
Alexey Alexandrovitch, to his surprise and delight, felt complete
relief both from this pity and from the doubts and agonies of
jealousy.
He experienced the sensations of a man who has had
a tooth out after suffering long from toothache. After a fearful
agony and a sense of something huge, bigger than the head itself,
being torn out of his jaw, the sufferer, hardly able to believe in
his own good luck, feels all at once that what has so long poisoned
his existence and enchained his attention, exists no longer, and
that he can live and think again, and take interest in other things
besides his tooth. This feeling Alexey Alexandrovitch was
experiencing. The agony had been strange and terrible, but now it
was over; he felt that he could live again and think of something
other than his wife.
“No honor, no heart, no religion; a corrupt woman.
I always knew it and always saw it, though I tried to deceive
myself to spare her,” he said to himself. And it actually seemed to
him that he always had seen it: he recalled incidents of their past
life, in which he had never seen anything wrong before—now these
incidents proved clearly that she had always been a corrupt woman.
“I made a mistake in linking my life to hers; but there was nothing
wrong in my mistake, and so I cannot be unhappy. It’s not I that am
to blame,” he told himself, “but she. But I have nothing to do with
her. She does not exist for me....”
Everything relating to her and her son, towards
whom his sentiments were as much changed as towards her, ceased to
interest him. The only thing that interested him now was the
question of in what way he could best, with most propriety and
comfort for himself, and thus with most justice, extricate himself
from the mud with which she had spattered him in her fall, and then
proceed along his path of active, honorable, and useful
existence.
“I cannot be made unhappy by the fact that a
contemptible woman has committed a crime. I have only to find the
best way out of the difficult position in which she has placed me.
And I shall find it,” he said to himself, frowning more and more.
“I’m not the first nor the last.” And to say nothing of historical
instances dating from the “Fair Helen” of Menelaus,1
recently revived in the memory of all, a whole list of contemporary
examples of husbands with unfaithful wives in the highest society
rose before Alexey Alexandrovitch’s imagination. “Daryalov,
Poltavsky, Prince Karibanov, Count Paskudin, Dram . . . Yes, even
Dram, such an honest, capable fellow.... Semyonov, Tchagin,
Sigonin,” Alexey Alexandrovitch remembered. “Admitting that a
certain quite irrational ridicule falls to the lot of these
men, yet I never saw anything but a misfortune in it, and always
felt sympathy for it,” Alexey Alexandrovitch said to himself,
though indeed this was not the fact, and he had never felt sympathy
for misfortunes of that kind, but the more frequently he had heard
of instances of unfaithful wives betraying their husbands, the more
highly he had thought of himself. “It is a misfortune which may
befall any one. And this misfortune has befallen me. The only thing
to be done is to make the best of the position.”
And he began passing in review the methods of
proceeding of men who had been in the same position that he was
in.
“Daryalov fought a duel....”
The duel had particularly fascinated the thoughts
of Alexey Alexandrovitch in his youth, just because he was
physically a coward, and was himself well aware of the fact. Alexey
Alexandrovitch could not without horror contemplate the idea of a
pistol aimed at himself, and never made use of any weapon in his
life. This horror had in his youth set him pondering on dueling,
and picturing himself in a position in which he would have to
expose his life to danger. Having attained success and an
established position in the world, he had long ago forgotten this
feeling; but the habitual bent of feeling reasserted itself, and
dread of his own cowardice proved even now so strong that Alexey
Alexandrovitch spent a long while thinking over the question of
dueling in all its aspects, and hugging the idea of a duel, though
he was fully aware beforehand that he would never under any
circumstances fight one.
“There’s no doubt our society is still so barbarous
(it’s not the same in England) that very many”—and among these were
those whose opinion Alexey Alexandrovitch particularly valued—“look
favorably on the duel; but what result is attained by it? Suppose I
call him out,” Alexey Alexandrovitch went on to himself, and
vividly picturing the night he would spend after the challenge, and
the pistol aimed at him, he shuddered, and knew that he never would
do it—“suppose I call him out. Suppose I am taught,” he went on
musing, “to shoot; I press the trigger,” he said to himself,
closing his eyes, “and it turns out I have killed him,” Alexey
Alexandrovitch said to himself, and he shook his head as though to
dispel such silly ideas. “What sense is there in murdering a man in
order to define one’s relation to a guilty wife and son? I should
still just as much have to decide what I ought to do with her. But
what is more probable and what would doubtless occur—I should be
killed or wounded. I, the innocent person, should be the
victim—killed or wounded. It’s even more senseless. But apart from
that, a challenge to fight would be an act hardly honest on my
side. Don’t I know perfectly well that my friends would never allow
me to fight a duel—would never allow the life of a statesman,
needed by Russia, to be exposed to danger? Knowing perfectly well
beforehand that the matter would never come to real danger, it
would amount to my simply trying to gain a certain sham reputation
by such a challenge. That would be dishonest, that would be false,
that would be deceiving myself and others. A duel is quite
irrational, and no one expects it of me. My aim is simply to
safeguard my reputation, which is essential for the uninterrupted
pursuit of my public duties.” Official duties, which had always
been of great consequence in Alexey Alexandrovitch’s eyes, seemed
of special importance to his mind at this moment. Considering and
rejecting the duel, Alexey Alexandrovitch turned to divorce—another
solution selected by several of the husbands he remembered. Passing
in mental review all the instances he knew of divorces (there were
plenty of them in the very highest society with which he was very
familiar), Alexey Alexandrovitch could not find a single example in
which the object of divorce was that which he had in view. In all
these instances the husband had practically ceded or sold his
unfaithful wife, and the very party which, being in fault, had not
the right to contract a fresh marriage, had formed counterfeit,
pseudo-matrimonial ties with a self-styled husband. In his own
case, Alexey Alexandrovitch saw that a legal divorce, that is to
say, one in which only the guilty wife would be repudiated, was
impossible of attainment.2 He saw
that the complex conditions of the life they led made the coarse
proofs of his wife’s guilt, required by the law, out of the
question; he saw that a certain refinement in that life would not
admit of such proofs being brought forward, even if he had them,
and that to bring forward such proofs would damage him in the
public estimation more than it would her.
An attempt at divorce could lead to nothing but a
public scandal, which would be a perfect godsend to his enemies for
calumny and attacks on his high position in society. His chief
object, to define the position with the least amount of disturbance
possible, would not be attained by divorce either. Moreover, in the
event of divorce, or even of an attempt to obtain a divorce, it was
obvious that the wife broke off all relations with the husband and
threw in her lot with the lover. And in spite of the complete, as
he supposed, contempt and indifference he now felt for his wife, at
the bottom of his heart, Alexey Alexandrovitch still had one
feeling left in regard to her—a disinclination to see her free to
throw in her lot with Vronsky, so that her crime would be to her
advantage. The mere notion of this so exasperated Alexey
Alexandrovitch, that directly it rose to his mind he groaned with
inward agony, and got up and changed his place in the carriage, and
for a long while after, he sat with scowling brows, wrapping his
numbed and bony legs in the fleecy rug.
“Apart from formal divorce, one might still do like
Karibanov, Paskudin, and that good fellow Dram—that is, separate
from one’s wife,” he went on thinking, when he had regained his
composure. But this step too presented the same drawback of public
scandal as a divorce, and what was more, a separation, quite as
much as a regular divorce, flung his wife into the arms of Vronsky.
“No, it’s out of the question, out of the question!” he said again,
twisting his rug about him again. “I cannot be unhappy, but neither
she nor he ought to be happy.”
The feeling of jealousy, which had tortured him
during the period of uncertainty, had passed away at the instant
when the tooth had been with agony extracted by his wife’s words.
But that feeling had been replaced by another, the desire, not
merely that she should not be triumphant, but that she should get
due punishment for her crime. He did not acknowledge this feeling,
but at the bottom of his heart he longed for her to suffer for
having destroyed his peace of mind—his honor. And going once again
over the conditions inseparable from a duel, a divorce, a
separation, and once again rejecting them, Alexey Alexandrovitch
felt convinced that there was only one solution,—to keep her with
him, concealing what had happened from the world, and using every
measure in his power to break off the intrigue, and still
more—though this he did not admit to himself—to punish her. “I must
inform her of my conclusion, that thinking over the terrible
position in which she has placed her family, all other solutions
will be worse for both sides than an external status quo,
and that such I agree to retain, on the strict condition of
obedience on her part to my wishes, that is to say, cessation of
all intercourse with her lover.” When this decision had been
finally adopted, another weighty consideration occurred to Alexey
Alexandrovitch in support of it. “By such a course only shall I be
acting in accordance with the dictates of religion,” he told
himself. “In adopting this course, I am not casting off a guilty
wife, but giving her a chance of amendment; and, indeed, difficult
as the task will be to me, I shall devote part of my energies to
her reformation and salvation.”
Though Alexey Alexandrovitch was perfectly aware
that he could not exert any moral influence over his wife, that
such an attempt at reformation could lead to nothing but falsity;
though in passing through these difficult moments he had not once
thought of seeking guidance in religion, yet now, when his
conclusion corresponded, as it seemed to him, with the requirements
of religion, this religious sanction to his decision gave him
complete satisfaction, and to some extent restored his peace of
mind. He was pleased to think that, even in such an important
crisis in life, no one would be able to say that he had not acted
in accordance with the principles of that religion whose banner he
had always held aloft amid the general coolness and indifference.
As he pondered over subsequent developments, Alexey Alexandrovitch
did not see, indeed, why his relations with his wife should not
remain practically the same as before. No doubt, she could never
regain his esteem, but there was not, and there could not be, any
sort of reason that his existence should be troubled, and that he
should suffer because she was a bad and faithless wife. “Yes, time
will pass; time, which arranges all things, and the old relations
will be reëstablished,” Alexey Alexandrovitch told himself; “so far
reestablished, that is, that I shall not be sensible of a break in
the continuity of my life. She is bound to be unhappy, but I am not
to blame, and so I cannot be unhappy.”