Chapter XXVII
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“He has gone! It is over!” Anna said to
herself, standing at the window; and in answer to this statement
the impression of the darkness when the candle had flickered out,
and of her fearful dream mingling into one, filled her heart with
cold terror.
“No, that cannot be!” she cried, and crossing the
room she rang the bell. She was so afraid now of being alone, that
without waiting for the servant to come in, she went out to meet
him.
“Inquire where the count has gone,” she said. The
servant answered that the count had gone to the stable.
“His honor left word that if you cared to drive
out, the carriage would be back immediately.”
“Very good. Wait a minute. I’ll write a note at
once. Send Mihail with the note to the stables. Make haste.”
She sat down and wrote:
“I was wrong. Come back home; I must explain. For
God’s sake come! I’m afraid.”
She sealed it up and gave it to the servant.
She was afraid of being left alone now; she
followed the servant out of the room, and went to the
nursery.
“Why, this isn’t it, this isn’t he! Where are his
blue eyes, his sweet, shy smile?” was her first thought when she
saw her chubby rosy little girl with her black, curly hair instead
of Seryozha, whom in the tangle of her ideas she had expected to
see in the nursery. The little girl sitting at the table was
obstinately and violently battering on it with a cork, and staring
aimlessly at her mother with her pitch-black eyes. Answering the
English nurse that she was quite well, and that she was going to
the country to-morrow, Anna sat down by the little girl and began
spinning the cork to show her. But the child’s loud, ringing laugh,
and the motion of her eyebrows, recalled Vronsky so vividly that
she got up hurriedly, restraining her sobs, and went away. “Can it
be all over? No, it cannot be!” she thought. “He will come back.
But how can he explain that smile, that excitement after he had
been talking to her? But even if he doesn’t explain, I will
believe. If I don’t believe, there’s only one thing left for me,
and I can’t.”
She looked at her watch. Twenty minutes had passed.
“By now he has received the note and is coming back. Not long, ten
minutes more.... But what if he doesn’t come? No, that cannot be.
He mustn’t see me with tear-stained eyes. I’ll go and wash. Yes,
yes; did I do my hair or not?” she asked herself. And she could not
remember. She felt her head with her hand. “Yes, my hair has been
done, but when I did it I can’t in the least remember.” She could
not believe the evidence of her hand, and went up to the pier-glass
to see whether she really had done her hair. She certainly had, but
she could not think when she had done it. “Who’s that?” she
thought, looking in the looking-glass at the swollen face with
strangely glittering eyes, that looked in a scared way at her.
“Why, it’s I!” she suddenly understood, and looking round, she
seemed all at once to feel his kisses on her, and twitched her
shoulders, shuddering. Then she lifted her hand to her lips and
kissed it.
“What is it? Why, I’m going out of my mind!” and
she went into her bedroom, where Annushka was tidying the
room.
“Annushka,” she said, coming to a standstill before
her, and she stared at the maid, not knowing what to say to
her.
“You meant to go and see Darya Alexandrovna,” said
the girl, as though she understood.
“Darya Alexandrovna? Yes, I’ll go.”
“Fifteen minutes there, fifteen minutes back. He’s
coming, he’ll be here soon.” She took out her watch and looked at
it. “But how could he go away, leaving me in such a state? How can
he live, without making it up with me?” She went to the window and
began looking into the street. Judging by the time, he might be
back now. But her calculations might be wrong, and she began once
more to recall when he had started and to count the minutes.
At the moment when she had moved away to the big
clock to compare it with her watch, some one drove up. Glancing out
of the window, she saw his carriage. But no one came up-stairs, and
voices could be heard below. It was the messenger who had come back
in the carriage. She went down to him.
“We didn’t catch the count. The count had driven
off on the lower city road.”
“What do you say? What! ...” she said to the rosy,
good-humored Mihail, as he handed her back her note.
“Why, then, he has never received it!” she
thought.
“Go with this note to Countess Vronskaya’s place,
you know? and bring an answer back immediately,” she said to the
messenger.
“And I, what am I going to do?” she thought. “Yes,
I’m going to Dolly’s, that’s true or else I shall go out of my
mind. Yes, and I can telegraph, too.” And she wrote a telegram. “I
absolutely must talk to you; come at once.” After sending off the
telegram, she went to dress. When she was dressed and in her hat,
she glanced again into the eyes of the plump, comfortable-looking
Annushka. There was unmistakable sympathy in those good-natured
little gray eyes.
“Annushka, dear, what am I to do?” said Anna,
sobbing and sinking helplessly into a chair.
“Why fret yourself so, Anna Arkadyevna? Why,
there’s nothing out of the way. You drive out a little, and it’ll
cheer you up,” said the maid.
“Yes, I’m going,” said Anna, rousing herself and
getting up. “And if there’s a telegram while I’m away, send it on
to Darya Alexandrovna’s ... but no, I shall be back myself.”
“Yes, I mustn’t think, I must do something, drive
somewhere, and most of all, get out of this house,” she said,
feeling with terror the strange turmoil going on in her own heart,
and she made haste to go out and get into the carriage.
“Where to?” asked Pyotr before getting onto the
box.
“To Znamenka, the Oblonskys’.”