Chapter I
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The Levins had been three months in Moscow.
The date had long passed on which, according to the most
trustworthy calculations of people learned in such matters, Kitty
should have been confined. But she was still about, and there was
nothing to show that her time was any nearer than two months ago.
The doctor, the monthly nurse, and Dolly and her mother, and most
of all Levin, who could not think of the approaching event without
terror, began to be impatient and uneasy. Kitty was the only person
who felt perfectly calm and happy.
She was distinctly conscious now of the birth of a
new feeling of love for the future child, for her to some extent
actually existing already, and she brooded blissfully over this
feeling. He was not by now altogether a part of herself, but
sometimes lived his own life independently of her. Often this
separate being gave her pain, but at the same time she wanted to
laugh with a strange new joy.
All the people she loved were with her, and all
were so good to her, so attentively caring for her, so entirely
pleasant was everything presented to her, that if she had not known
and felt that it must all soon be over, she could not have wished
for a better and pleasanter life. The only thing that spoiled the
charm of this manner of life was that her husband was not here as
she loved him to be, and as he was in the country.
She liked his serene, friendly, and hospitable
manner in the country. In the town he seemed continually uneasy and
on his guard, as though he were afraid some one would be rude to
him, and still more to her. At home in the country, knowing himself
distinctly to be in his right place, he was never in haste to be
off elsewhere. He was never unoccupied. Here in town he was in a
continual hurry, as though afraid of missing something, and yet he
had nothing to do. And she felt sorry for him. To others, she knew,
he did not appear an object of pity. On the contrary, when Kitty
looked at him in society, as one sometimes looks at those one
loves, trying to see him as if he were a stranger, so as to catch
the impression he must make on others, she saw with a panic even of
jealous fear that he was far indeed from being a pitiable figure,
that he was very attractive with his fine breeding, his rather
old-fashioned, reserved courtesy with women, his powerful figure,
and striking, as she thought, and expressive face. But she saw him
not from without, but from within; she saw that here he was not
himself; that was the only way she could define his condition to
herself. Sometimes she inwardly reproached him for his inability to
live in the town; sometimes she recognized that it was really hard
for him to order his life here so that he could be satisfied with
it.
What had he to do, indeed? He did not care for
cards; he did not go to a club. Spending the time with jovial
gentlemen of Oblonsky’s type—she knew now what that meant ... it
meant drinking and going somewhere after drinking. She could not
think without horror of where men went on such occasions. Was he to
go into society? But she knew he could only find satisfaction in
that if he took pleasure in the society of young women, and that
she could not wish for. Should he stay at home with her, her mother
and her sisters? But much as she liked and enjoyed their
conversations forever on the same subjects—“Aline-Nodine,” as the
old prince called the sisters’ talks—she knew it must bore him.
What was there left for him to do? To go on writing at his book he
had indeed attempted, and at first he used to go to the library and
make extracts and look up references for his book. But, as he told
her, the more he did nothing, the less time he had to do anything.
And besides, he complained that he had talked too much about his
book here, and that consequently all his ideas about it were
muddled and had lost their interest for him.
One advantage in this town life was that quarrels
hardly ever happened between them here in town. Whether it was that
their conditions were different, or that they had both become more
careful and sensible in that respect, they had no quarrels in
Moscow from jealousy, which they had so dreaded when they moved
from the country.
One event, an event of great importance to both
from that point of view, did indeed happen—that was Kitty’s meeting
with Vronsky.
The old Princess Marya Borissovna, Kitty’s
godmother, who had always been very fond of her, had insisted on
seeing her. Kitty, though she did not go into society at all on
account of her condition, went with her father to see the venerable
old lady, and there met Vronsky.
The only thing Kitty could reproach herself for at
this meeting was that at the instant when she recognized in his
civilian dress the features once so familiar to her, her breath
failed her, the blood rushed to her heart, and a vivid blush—she
felt it—overspread her face. But this lasted only a few seconds.
Before her father, who purposely began talking in a loud voice to
Vronsky, had finished, she was perfectly ready to look at Vronsky,
to speak to him, if necessary, exactly as she spoke to Princess
Marya Borissovna, and more than that, to do so in such a way that
everything to the faintest intonation and smile would have been
approved by her husband, whose unseen presence she seemed to feel
about her at that instant.
She said a few words to him, even smiled serenely
at his joke about the elections, which he called “our parliament.”
(She had to smile to show she saw the joke.) But she turned away
immediately to Princess Marya Borissovna, and did not once glance
at him till he got up to go; then she looked at him, but evidently
only because it would be uncivil not to look at a man when he is
saying good-bye.
She was grateful to her father for saying nothing
to her about their meeting Vronsky, but she saw by his special
warmth to her after the visit during their usual walk that he was
pleased with her. She was pleased with herself. She had not
expected she would have had the power, while keeping somewhere in
the bottom of her heart all the memories of her old feeling for
Vronsky, not only to seem but to be perfectly indifferent and
composed with him.
Levin flushed a great deal more than she when she
told him she had met Vronsky at Princess Marya Borissovna’s. It was
very hard for her to tell him this, but still harder to go on
speaking of the details of the meeting, as he did not question her,
but simply gazed at her with a frown.
“I am very sorry you weren’t there,” she said. “Not
that you weren’t in the room ... I couldn’t have been so natural in
your presence ... I am blushing now much more, much, much more,”
she said, blushing till the tears came into her eyes. “But that you
couldn’t see through a crack.”
The truthful eyes told Levin that she was satisfied
with herself, and in spite of her blushing he was quickly reassured
and began questioning her, which was all she wanted. When he had
heard everything, even to the detail that for the first second she
could not help flushing, but that afterwards she was just as direct
and as much at her ease as with any chance acquaintance, Levin was
quite happy again and said he was glad of it, and would not now
behave as stupidly as he had done at the election, but would try
the first time he met Vronsky to be as friendly as possible.
“It’s so wretched to feel that there’s a man almost
an enemy whom it’s painful to meet,” said Levin. “I’m very, very
glad.”