How to Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less

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Your tone of voice tells other people how you're feeling, and a pleasing tonality can positively affect the way they respond to you. Pleasing tonality occurs when your voice comes from deep down in your body, from your abdomen. It is deep, rich and infectious, compared to a monotonous voice or high-pitched braying.

To improve your own tonality, practice breathing and speaking from your abdomen. “Belly breathing,” which uses your lungs to the fullest, is the most calming and healthy way to breathe. You breathe more slowly and with less stress. Contrast this to chest breathing, which is the way about 60% of the population get their air. Chest breathing is panicky, fight-or-flight breathingjust a series of *

someone, or a praiseworthy performance, then a compliment is in order. Avoid general words like “nice,” “good” and “great.” “Nice suit”big deal! “Blue really suits you” sounds better. “You're such a good person” sounds like a buildup to being dumped. “You bring out the best in everyone”now, that's a compliment.

Specific compliments usually come across as being more sincere than general compliments. “Great soup” won't stimulate your host or hostess as much as "Was long pants. Naturally, if you breathe from your chest, you will speak from the chest.

Put the palm of one hand gently on your chest and the palm of the other gently on your abdomen. Practice breathing until the hand on your chest doesn't move in and out and the hand on your abdomen does. When you've got it, take away your hands and just keep breathing that wayfor the rest of your life. You'll notice that when you get nervous or excited, your breathing will return to your chest. Be aware of this, and take it back down; you'll immediately feel calmer.

Repeat this exercise with your hands on the place where your voice originates. Move your voice from your chest to your abdomen. It should sound lower, richer and a little slowerwhich is exactly the way you want it to be for establishing instant rapport and making people like you in 90 seconds or less.

that the tiniest hint of fresh dill I just tasted? You've done it again!“ If you're complimenting performance, take the trouble to go into detail. ”You were wonderful today“ is not half as powerful as ”You handled that question about the nursing home without flinching. That was an impressive strategy."

Deliver your compliment the same way you do your greeting: open your heart and your body, look directly at the person, speak with a clear, enthusiastic voice, give specific praise and remember to give the person time to respond.