Product Description

Get ready for the sleaziest alien invasion story you are ever going to read...

Take a seat in a seedy, downtown grindhouse theater. Check your seat for bodily fluids and when you finally step outside...check the skies...

The Valdrott are here. They observe us through thick glass, their amorphous features jiggling as they point and laugh and study our misery. Men, women, and androids are forced into torture of sex and death. This is their theater. Their entertainment.

“Like David Lynch channelling Kilgore Trout." – KEVIN SWEENEY, author of The Pornographer-General

"Beware the KralLomen, a nasty two-headed literary beast that will leave a slime trail as it chews a tunnel through your mind. The last time I let a KralLomen in my house it ate my Burroughs library, my porno mags, and three bags of frozen squid.....Clean as much as you want, the smell and depravity of the KralLomen sink in deep." - JEREMY ROBERT JOHNSON, author of Angel Dust Apocalypse and Extinction Journals

"Jordan Krall and Ash Lomen fuse sleazy grit and mindbending surrealism with ease, combining to create a story as entertaining as it is unsettling." - ANDERSEN PRUNTY, author of The Sorrow King

“Krall and Lomen made me realize I am nothing but a monkey on a rock.” GREGORY L. HALL, author of At the End of Church Street and host of the Funky Werepig

"I have no fuckin' idea what this story is about, but I sure as hell want a tall glass of blue breast milk after reading it." R. SCOTT McCOY, author of Feast and the man behind Necrotic Tissue

Now with bonus stories that expand the Valdrott mythos, BLOW UP THE OUTSIDE WORLD is a SF mindfuck you'll never forget.

Product Description

A bizarro tribute to Spaghetti westerns, HP Lovecraft, and foot fetish enthusiasts. Screwhorse, Nevada is legendary for its violent and unusual pleasures, but when a mysterious gunslinger drags a wooden donkey into the desert town, the stage is set for a bloodbath unlike anything the west has ever seen. His name is Calamaro, and he's from New Jersey. Featuring Cthulhu-worshipping Indians, a woman with four feet, a Giallo-esque serial killer, a crazed gunman who is obsessed with sucking on candy, Syphilis-ridden mutants, ass juice, burping pistols, sexually transmitted tattoos, and a house devoted to the freakiest fetishes, Jordan Krall's Fistful of Feet is the weirdest western ever written.

From the Author

This is my tribute to the Spaghetti Western and the giallo genres. It is quite weird so if you tend to scratch your head at strange literature....You've been warned.

Product Description

Product Description

Three novellas of squishy-noir from Jordan Krall.

On the surface, Thompson looks like any other blue collar New Jersey town. But beneath the working class exterior lies a bizarro world of fetishistic crime, sleazy motels, and squid. In these three bizarro-noir novellas, the reader is thrown into a world of murderers, drugs made from squid parts, deformed war veterans, and a mischievous apocalyptic donkey...

THE HABERDASHER

Red Henry Hooper just got out on parole. He meets his friends, fellow small-time criminals Dix Hayden and Grant Minissi, in a cheap motel to drink a couple beers and perhaps plan another job. Things go sour when Grant takes some bad drugs. Meanwhile, in the next room, strange things are happening that will make Henry's day even worse: a woman is missing her feet and a notorious local gangster Robert Hapertas (aka The Haberdasher) is on his way. And he's not pleased...

THE LONGHEADS

Tommy Pingpong knew it was a mistake sending his partner Jake into the meeting with their boss. Now they were on the run from Peachy, a diaper-wearing gangster who would like nothing better than to kill the both of them. On top of that, the deformed war veterans called the longheads are buying up all the guns in town, planning something big that'll have severe implications for the town of Thompson.

THE APOCALYPSE DONKEY

When Simon Palmer took the black envelope from the tall man in the parking lot, he didn't know that this case of mistaken identity would make his day take such a weird turn for the worst. When the man finally realizes that he gave the envelope to the wrong guy, Simon is thrown into a dangerous cat-and-mouse game that finally leads to a sleazy carnival of squid violence...

From the Inside Flap

"Krall has quite a flair for outrage as an art form, and with SQUID PULP BLUES, he's created a wholly unique terrascape of Ibsen-like naturalism and morbidity; an extravaganza of white-trash urban/noir horror." - EDWARD LEE, author of The Bighead and Brides of the Impaler

"An intriguing mix of film noir storytelling strained through a colander of pure bizarro." - TOM PICCIRILLI, author of A Choir of Ill Children and The Midnight Road

"SQUID PULP BLUES is a trip to the rusted underbelly of a sunken hulk, one loaded with enough nuclear waste to make Chernobyl seem like a giggle. By the time you return, strange new organs have blossomed within your brain, tentacles have replaced your limbs, and you couldn't be happier about it. Krall's vision of bizarro is not only dark and full of mystery, but guaranteed to entertain as well." - JOHN EDWARD LAWSON, author of Sin Conductor

"Jordan Krall's writing takes you places you never knew you wanted to go. In Squid Pulp Blues, the place is called Thompson, New Jersey. And here, you'll find no shortage of violence, trauma, and more importantly, squid. The locals may not be friendly. In fact, most of them are psychopathic assholes. But as long as they stay on the pages where they belong, you'll have one bloody good time in their company." - JEREMY C. SHIPP, author of Vacation and Sheep and Wolves