CHAPTER LIX
Return
I LANDED IN LONDON ON A WINTRY AUTUMN
EVENING. IT WAS dark and raining, and I saw more fog and mud in a
minute than I had seen in a year. I walked from the Custom House to
the Monument before I found a coach, and, although the very
house-fronts, looking on the swollen gutters, were like old friends
to me, I could not but admit that they were very dingy
friends.
I have often remarked—I suppose everybody has—that
one’s going away from a familiar place would seem to be the signal
for change in it. As I looked out of the coach-window, and observed
that an old house on Fish-street Hill, which had stood untouched by
painter, carpenter, or bricklayer, for a century, had been pulled
down in my absence, and that a neighbouring street, of
time-honoured insalubrity and inconvenience, was being drained and
widened, I half expected to find St. Paul’s Cathedral looking
older.
For some changes in the fortunes of my friends, I
was prepared. My aunt had long been re-established at Dover, and
Traddles had begun to get into some little practice at the Bar, in
the very first term after my departure. He had chambers in Gray’s
Inn now, and had told me, in his last letters, that he was not
without hopes of being soon united to the dearest girl in the
world.
They expected me home before Christmas, but had no
idea of my returning so soon. I had purposedly misled them, that I
might have the pleasure of taking them by surprise. And- yet, I was
perverse enough to feel a chill and disappointment in receiving no
welcome, and rattling, alone and silent, through the misty
streets.
The well-known shops, however, with their cheerful
lights, did something for me, and when I alighted at the door of
the Gray’s Inn Coffee-house, I had recovered my spirits. It
recalled, at first, that so-different time when I had put up at the
Golden Cross, and reminded me of the changes that had come to pass
since then, but that was natural.
“Do you know where Mr. Traddles lives in the Inn?”
I asked the waiter, as I warmed myself by the coffee-room
fire.
“Holborn Court, sir. Number two.”
“Mr. Traddles has a rising reputation among the
lawyers, I believe?” said I.
“Well, sir,” returned the waiter, “probably he has,
sir, but I am not aware of it myself.”
This waiter, who was middle-aged and spare, looked
for help to a waiter of more authority—a stout, potential old man,
with a double-chin, in black breeches and stockings, who came out
of a place like a churchwarden’s pew, at the end of the
coffee-room, where he kept company with a cash-box, a Directory, a
Law-list, and other books and papers.
“Mr. Traddles,” said the spare waiter. “Number two
in the Court.”
The potential waiter waved him away, and turned,
gravely, to me.
“I was inquiring,” said I, “whether Mr. Traddles,
at number two in the Court, has not a rising reputation among the
lawyers?”
“Never heard his name,” said the waiter, in a rich
husky voice.
I felt quite apologetic for Traddles.
“He’s a young man, sure?” said the portentous
waiter, fixing his eyes severely on me. “How long has he been in
the Inn?”
“Not above three years,” said I.
The waiter, who I supposed had lived in his
churchwarden’s pew for forty years, could not pursue such an
insignificant subject. He asked me what I would have for
dinner?
I felt I was in England again, and really was quite
cast down on Traddles’s account. There seemed to be no hope for
him. I meekly ordered a bit of fish and a steak, and stood before
the fire musing on his obscurity.
As I followed the chief waiter with my eyes, I
could not help thinking that the garden in which he had gradually
blown to be the flower he was was an arduous place to rise in. It
had such a prescriptive, stiff-necked, long-established, solemn,
elderly air. I glanced about the room, which had had its sanded
floor sanded, no doubt, in exactly the same manner when the chief
waiter was a boy—if he ever was a boy, which appeared
improbable—and at the shining tables, where I saw myself reflected,
in unruffied depths of old mahogany, and at the lamps, without a
flaw in their trimming or cleaning, and at the comfortable green
curtains, with their pure brass rods, snugly enclosing the boxes,
and at the two large coal fires, brightly burning, and at the rows
of decanters, burly as if with the consciousness of pipes of
expensive old port wine below, and both England, and the law,
appeared to me to be very difficult indeed to be taken by storm. I
went up to my bedroom to change my wet clothes, and the vast extent
of that old wainscotted apartment (which was over the archway
leading to the Inn, I remember), and the sedate immensity of the
four-post bedstead, and the indomitable gravity of the chests of
drawers, all seemed to unite in sternly frowning on the fortunes of
Traddles, or on any such daring youth. I came down again to my
dinner, and even the slow comfort of the meal, and the orderly
silence of the place—which was bare of guests, the Long Vacation
not yet being over—were eloquent on the audacity of Traddles, and
his small hopes of a livelihood for twenty years to come.
I had seen nothing like this since I went away, and
it quite dashed my hopes for my friend. The chief waiter had had
enough of me. He came near me no more, but devoted himself to an
old gentleman in long gaiters, to meet whom a pint of special port
seemed to come out of the cellar of its own accord, for he gave no
order. The second waiter informed me, in a whisper, that this old
gentleman was a retired conveyancer living in the Square, and worth
a mint of money, which it was expected he would leave to his
laundress’s daughter, likewise that it was rumoured that he had a
service of plate in a bureau, all tarnished with lying by, though
more than one spoon and a fork had never yet been beheld in his
chambers by, mortal vision. By this time, I quite gave Traddles up
for lost, and settled in my own mind that there was no hope for
him.
Being very anxious to see the dear old fellow,
nevertheless, I despatched my dinner, in a manner not at all
calculated to raise me in the opinion of the chief waiter, and
hurried out by the back way. Number two in the Court was soon
reached, and, an inscription on the door-post informing me that Mr.
Traddles occupied a set of chambers on the top-story, I ascended
the staircase. A crazy old staircase I found it to be, feebly
lighted on each landing by a club-headed little oil wick, dying
away in a little dungeon of dirty glass.
In the course of my stumbling upstairs, I fancied I
heard a pleasant sound of laughter, and not the laughter of an
attorney or barrister, or attorney’s clerk or barrister’s clerk,
but of two or three merry girls. Happening, however, as I stopped
to listen, to put my foot in a hole where the Honourable Society of
Gray’s Inn had left a plank deficient, I fell down with some noise,
and when I recovered my footing all was silent.
Groping my way more carefully, for the rest of the
journey, my heart beat high when I found the outer door, which had
MR. TRADDLES painted on it, open. I knocked. A considerable
scuffling within ensued, but nothing else. I therefore knocked
again.
A small sharp-looking lad, half-footboy and
half-clerk, who was very much out of breath, but who looked at me
as if he defied me to prove it legally, presented himself.
“Is Mr. Traddles within?” I said.
“Yes, sir, but he’s engaged.”
“I want to see him.”
After a moment’s survey of me, the sharp-looking
lad decided to let me in, and, opening the door wider for that
purpose, admitted me, first, into a little closet of a hall, and
next into a little sitting-room, where I came into the presence of
my old friend (also out of breath), seated at a table, and bending
over papers.
“Good God!” cried Traddles, looking up. “It’s
Copperfield!” and rushed into my arms, where I held him
tight.
“All well, my dear Traddles?”
“All well, my dear, dear Copperfield, and nothing
but good news!”
We cried with pleasure, both of us.
“My dear fellow,” said Traddles, rumpling his hair
in his excitement, which was a most unnecessary operation, “my
dearest Copperfield, my long-lost and most welcome friend, how glad
I am to see you! How brown you are! How glad I am! Upon my life and
honour, I never was so rejoiced, my beloved Copperfield,
never!”
I was equally at a loss to express my emotions. I
was quite unable to speak, at first.
“My dear fellow!” said Traddles. “And grown so
famous! My glorious Copperfield! Good gracious me, when did you
come, where have you come from, what have you been doing?” ,
Never pausing for an answer to anything he said,
Traddles, who had clapped me into an easy-chair by the fire, all
this time impetuously stirred the fire with one hand, and pulled at
my neckerchief with the other, under‘some wild delusion that it was
a greatcoat. Without putting down the poker, he now hugged me
again, and I hugged him, and, both laughing, and both wiping our
eyes, we both sat down, and shook hands across the hearth.
“To think,” said Traddles, “that you should have
been so nearly coming home as you must have been, my dear old boy,
and not at the ceremony!”
“What ceremony, my dear Traddles?”
“Good gracious me!” cried Traddles, opening his
eyes in his old way. “Didn’t you get my last letter?”
“Certainly not, if it referred to any
ceremony.”
“Why, my dear Copperfield,” said Traddles, sticking
his hair upright with both hands, and then putting his hands on my
knees, “I am married!”
“Married!” I cried joyfully.
“Lord bless me, yes!” said Traddles—“by the Rev.
Horace —to Sophy—down in Devonshire. Why, my dear boy, she’s behind
the window curtain! Look here!”
To my amazement, the dearest girl in the world came
at that same instant, laughing and blushing, from her place of
concealment. And a more cheerful, amiable, honest, happy,
bright-looking bride, I believe (as I could not help saying on the
spot) the world never saw. I kissed her as an old acquaintance
should, and wished them joy with all my might of heart.
“Dear me,” said Traddles, “what a delightful
reunion this is! You are so extremely brown, my dear Copperfield!
God bless my soul, how happy I am!”
“And so am I,” said I.
“And I am sure I am!” said the blushing and
laughing Sophy.
“We are all as happy as possible!” said Traddles.
“Even the girls are happy. Dear me, I declare I forgot them!”
“Forgot?” said I.
“The girls,” said Traddles. “Sophy’s sisters. They
are staying with us. They have come to have a peep at London. The
fact is, when—was it you that tumbled upstairs, Copperfield?”
“It was,” said I, laughing.
“Well then, when you tumbled upstairs,” said
Traddles, “I was romping with the girls. In point of fact, we were
playing at Puss in the Corner. But as that wouldn’t do in
Westminster Hall, and as it wouldn’t look quite professional if
they were seen by a client, they decamped. And they are now
—listening, I have no doubt,” said Traddles, glancing at the door
of another room.
“I am sorry,” said I, laughing afresh, “to have
occasioned such a dispersion.”
“Upon my word,” rejoined Traddles, greatly
delighted, “if you had seen them running away, and running back
again, after you had knocked, to pick up the combs they had dropped
out of their hair, and going on in the maddest manner, you wouldn’t
have said so. My love, will you fetch the girls?”
Sophy tripped away, and we heard her received in
the adjoining room with a peal of laughter.
“Really musical, isn’t it, my dear Copperfield?”
said Traddles. “It’s very agreeable to hear. It quite lights up
these old rooms. To an unfortunate bachelor of a fellow who has
lived alone all his life, you know, it’s positively delicious. It’s
charming. Poor things, they have had a great loss in Sophy—who, I
do assure you, Copperfield, is, and ever was, the dearest girl!—and
it gratifies me beyond expression to find them in such good
spirits. The society of girls is a very delightful thing,
Copperfield. It’s not professional, but it’s very
delightful.”
Observing that he slightly faltered, and
comprehending that in the goodness of his heart he was fearful of
giving me some pain by what he had said, I expressed my concurrence
with a heartiness that evidently relieved and pleased him
greatly.
“But then,” said Traddles, “our domestic
arrangements are, to say the truth, quite unprofessional
altogether, my dear Copperfield. Even Sophy’s being here is
unprofessional. And we have no other place of abode. We have put to
sea in a cockboat, but we are quite prepared to rough it. And
Sophy’s an extraordinary manager! You’ll be surprised how those
girls are stowed away. I am sure I hardly know how it’s
done.”
“Are many of the young ladies with you?” I
inquired.
“The eldest, the Beauty is here,” said Traddles, in
a low confidential voice, “Caroline. And Sarah’s here—the one I
mentioned to you as having something the matter with her spine, you
know. Immensely better! And the two youngest that Sophy educated
are with us. And Louisa’s here.”
“Indeed!” cried I.
“Yes,” said Traddles. “Now the whole set—I mean the
chambers—is only three rooms, but Sophy arranges for the girls in
the most wonderful way, and they sleep as comfortably as possible.
Three in that room,” said Traddles, pointing. “Two in that.”
I could not help glancing round, in search of the
accommodation remaining for Mr. and Mrs. Traddles. Traddles
understood me.
“Well!” said Traddles, “we are prepared to rough
it, as I said just now, and we did improvise a bed last
week, upon the floor here. But there’s a little room in the roof—a
very nice room, when you’re up there—which Sophy papered herself,
to surprise me, and that’s our room at present. It’s a capital
little gipsy sort of place. There’s quite a view from it.”
‘And you are happily married at last, my dear
Traddles!“ said L ”How rejoiced I am!“
“Thank you, my dear Copperfield,” said Traddles, as
we shook hands once more. “Yes, I am as happy as it’s possible to
be. There’s your old friend, you see,” said Traddles, nodding
triumphantly at the flower-pot and stand, “and there’s the table
with the marble top! All the other furniture is plain and
serviceable, you perceive. And as to plate, Lord bless you, we
haven’t so much as a teaspoon.”
“All to be earned?” said I, cheerfully.
“Exactly so,” replied Traddles, “all to be earned.
Of course we have something in the shape of teaspoons, because we
stir our tea. But they’re Britannia metal.”
“The silver will be the brighter when it comes,”
said L
“The very thing we say!” cried Traddles. “You see,
my dear Copperfield,” falling again into the low confidential tone,
“after I had delivered by argument in DOE dem. JIPES
versus WIGZELL, which did me great service with the
profession, I went down into Devonshire, and had some serious
conversation in private with the Reverend Horace. I dwelt upon the
fact that Sophy—who I do assure you, Copperfield, is the dearest
girl!—”
“I am certain she is!” said L
“She is, indeed!” rejoined Traddles. “But I am
afraid I am wandering from the subject. Did I mention the Reverend
Horace?”
“You said that you dwelt upon the fact—”
“True! Upon the fact that Sophy and I had been
engaged for a long period, and that Sophy, with the permission of
her parents, was more than content to take me—in short,” said
Traddles, with his old frank smile, “on our present Britannia metal
footing. Very well. I then proposed to the Reverend Horace—who is a
most excellent clergyman, Copperfield, and ought to be a Bishop, or
at least ought to have enough to live upon, without pinching
himself—that if I could turn the comer, say of two hundred and
fifty pounds, in one year, and could see my way pretty clearly to
that, or something better, next year, and could plainly furnish a
little place like this, besides, then, and in that case, Sophy and
I should be united. I took the liberty of representing that we had
been patient for a good many years, and that the circumstance of
Sophy’s being extraordinarily useful at home, ought not to operate
with her affectionate parents, against her establishment in
life—don’t you see?”
“Certainly it ought not,” said I.
“I am glad you think so, Copperfield,” rejoined
Traddles, “because, without any imputation on the Reverend Horace,
I do think parents, and brothers, and so forth, are sometimes
rather selfish in such cases. Well! I also pointed out that my most
earnest desire was to be useful to the family, and that if I got on
in the world, and anything should happen to him—I refer to the
Reverend Horace—”
“I understand,” said I.
“—Or to Mrs. Crewler—it would be the utmost
gratification of my wishes, to be a parent to the girls. He replied
in a most admirable manner, exceedingly flattering to my feelings,
and undertook to obtain the consent of Mrs. Crewler to this
arrangement. They had a dreadful time of it with her. It mounted
from her legs into her chest, and then into her head—”
“What mounted?” I asked.
“Her grief,” replied Traddles, with a serious look.
“Her feelings generally. As I mentioned on a former occasion, she
is a very superior woman, but has lost the use of her limbs.
Whatever occurs to harass her, usually settles in her legs, but on
this occasion it mounted to the chest, and then to the head, and,
in short, pervaded the whole system in a most alarming manner.
However, they brought her through it by unremitting and
affectionate attention, and we were married yesterday six weeks.
You have no idea what a Monster I felt, Copperfield, when I saw the
whole family crying and fainting away in every direction! Mrs.
Crewler couldn’t see me before we left—couldn’t forgive me, then,
for depriving her of her child—but she is a good creature, and has
done so since. I had a delightful letter from her, only this
morning.”
“And in short, my dear friend,” said I, “you feel
as blest as you deserve to feel!”
“Oh! That’s your partiality!” laughed Traddles.
“But, indeed, I am in a most enviable state. I work hard, and read
Law insatiably. I get up at five every morning, and don’t mind it
at all. I hide the girls in the day-time, and make merry with them
in the evening. And I assure you I am quite sorry that they are
going home on Tuesday, which is the day before the first day of
Michaelmas Term. But here,” said Traddles, breaking off in his
confidence, and speaking aloud, “are the girls! Mr.
Copperfield, Miss Crewier—Miss Sarah—Miss Louisa—Margaret and
Lucy!”
They were a perfect nest of roses, they looked so
wholesome and fresh. They were all pretty, and Miss Caroline was
very handsome, but there was a loving, cheerful, fireside quality
in Sophy’s bright looks, which was better than that, and which
assured me that my friend had chosen well. We all sat round the
fire, while the sharp boy, who I now divined had lost his breath in
putting the papers out, cleared them away again, and produced the
tea-things. After that, he retired for the night, shutting the
outer door upon us with a bang. Mrs. Traddles, with perfect
pleasure and composure beaming from her household eyes, having made
the tea, then quietly made the toast as she sat in a corner by the
fire.
She had seen Agnes, she told me, while she was
toasting. “Tom” had taken her down into Kent for a wedding trip,
and there she had seen my aunt, too, and both my aunt and Agnes
were well, and they had all talked of nothing but me. “Tom” had
never had me out of his thoughts, she really believed, all the time
I had been away. “Tom” was the authority for everything. “Tom” was
evidently the idol of her life, never to be shaken on his pedestal
by any commotion, always to be believed in, and done homage to with
the whole faith of her heart, come what might.
The deference which both she and Traddles showed
towards the Beauty pleased me very much. I don’t know that I
thought it very reasonable, but I thought it very delightful, and
essentially a part of their character. If Traddles ever for an
instant missed the teaspoons that were still to be won, I have no
doubt it was when he handed the Beauty her tea. If his
sweet-tempered wife could have got up any self-assertion against
any one, I am satisfied it could only have been because she was the
Beauty’s sister. A few slight indications of a rather petted and
capricious manner, which I observed in the Beauty, were manifestly
considered, by Traddles and his wife, as her birthright and natural
endowment. If she had been born a Queen Bee, and they labouring
Bees, they could not have been more satisfied of that.
But their self-forgetfulness charmed me. Their
pride in these girls, and their submission of themselves to all
their whims, was the pleasantest little testimony to their own
worth I could have desired to see. If Traddles were addressed as “a
darling,” once in the course of that evening, and besought to bring
something here, or carry something there, or take something up, or
put something down, or find something, or fetch something, he was
so addressed, by one or other of his sisters-in-law, at least
twelve times in an hour. Neither could they do anything without
Sophy. Somebody’s hair fell down, and nobody but Sophy could put it
up. Somebody forgot how a particular tune went, and nobody but
Sophy could hum that tune right. Somebody wanted to recall the name
of a place in Devonshire, and only Sophy knew it. Something was
wanted to be written home, and Sophy alone could be trusted to
write before breakfast in the morning. Somebody broke down in a
piece of knitting, and no one but Sophy was able to put the
defaulter in the right direction. They were entire mistresses of
the place, and Sophy and Traddles waited on them. How many children
Sophy could have taken care of in her time, I can’t imagine, but
she seemed to be famous for knowing every sort of song that ever
was addressed to a child in the English tongue, and she sang dozens
to order with the clearest little voice in the world, one after
another (every sister issuing directions for a different tune, and
the Beauty generally striking in last), so that I was quite
fascinated. The best of all was that, in the midst of their
exactions, all the sisters had a great tenderness and respect both
for Sophy and Traddles. I am sure, when I took my leave, and
Traddles was coming out to walk with me to the coffee-house, I
thought I had never seen an obstinate head of hair, or any other
head of hair, rolling about in such a shower of kisses.
Altogether, it was a scene I could not help
dwelling on with pleasure, for a long time after I got back and had
wished Traddles good night. If I had beheld a thousand roses
blowing in a top set of chambers, in that withered Gray’s Inn, they
could not have brightened it half so much. The idea of those
Devonshire girls, among the dry law-stationers and the attorneys’
offices, and of the tea and toast, and children’s songs, in that
grim atmosphere of pounce and parchment, red-tape, dusty wafers,
ink-jars, brief and draft paper, law reports, writs, declarations,
and bills of costs, seemed almost as pleasantly fanciful as if I
had dreamed that the Sultan’s famous family had been admitted on
the roll of attorneys, and had brought the talking bird, the
singing tree, and the golden water into Gray’s Inn Hall. Somehow, I
found that I had taken leave of Traddles for the night, and come
back to the coffee-house, with a great change in my despondency
about him. I began to think he would get on, in spite of all the
many orders of chief waiters in England.
Drawing a chair before one of the coffee-room fires
to think about him at my leisure, I gradually fell from the
consideration of his happiness to tracing prospects in the
live-coals, and to thinking, as they broke and changed, of the
principal vicissitudes and separations that had marked my life. I
had not seen a coal fire since I had left England three years ago,
though many a wood fire had I watched, as it crumbled into hoary
ashes, and mingled with the feathery heap upon the hearth, which
not inaptly figured to me, in my despondency, my own dead
hopes.
I could think of the past now, gravely, but not
bitterly, and could contemplate the future in a brave spirit. Home,
in its best sense, was for me no more. [In my headlong passion and
caprice, I had had a home before I was worthy of it, and it was
lost—lost, even as I had heard from my child-wife on her death-bed,
for the best!] She in whom I might have inspired a dearer love, I
had taught to be my sister. She would marry, and would have new
claimants on her tenderness, and in doing it, would never know the
love for her that had grown up in my heart. It was right that I
should pay the forfeit of my headlong passion. What I reaped, I had
sown.
I was thinking, and had I truly disciplined my
heart to this, and could I resolutely bear it, and calmly hold the
place in her home which she had calmly held in mine—when I found my
eyes resting on a countenance that might have arisen out of the
fire, in its association with my early remembrances.
Little Mr. Chillip the Doctor, to whose good
offices I was indebted in the very first chapter of this history,
sat reading a newspaper in the shadow of an opposite corner. He was
tolerably stricken in years by this time, but, being a mild, meek,
calm little man, had worn so easily, that I thought he looked at
that moment just as he might have looked when he sat in our
parlour, waiting for me to be born.
Mr. Chillip had left Blunderstone six or seven
years ago, and I had never seen him since. He sat placidly perusing
the newspaper, with his little head on one side, and a glass of
warm sherry negus at his elbow. He was so extremely conciliatory in
his manner that he seemed to apologize to the very newspaper for
taking the liberty of reading it.
I walked up to where he was sitting, and said, “How
do you do, Mr. Chillip?”
He was greatly fluttered by this unexpected address
from a stranger, and replied, in his slow way, “I thank you, sir,
you are very good. Thank you, sir. I hope you are well.”
“You don’t remember me?” said I.
“Well, sir,” returned Mr. Chillip, smiling very
meekly, and shaking his head as he surveyed me, “I have a kind of
an impression that something in your countenance is familiar to me,
sir, but I couldn’t lay my hand upon your name, really.”
“And yet you knew it, long before I knew it
myself,” I returned.
“Did I indeed, sir?” said Mr. Chillip. “Is it
possible that I had the honour, sir, of officiating when—?”
“Yes,” said I.
“Dear me!” cried Mr. Chillip. “But no doubt you are
a good deal changed since then, sir?”
“Probably,” said I.
“Well, sir,” observed Mr. Chillip, “I hope you’ll
excuse me, if I am compelled to ask the favour of your name?”
On my telling him my name, he was really moved. He
quite shook hands with me—which was a violent proceeding for him,
his usual course being to slide a tepid little fish-slice, an inch
or two in advance of his hip, and evince the greatest discomposure
when anybody grappled with it. Even now, he put his hand in his
coat pocket as soon as he could disengage it, and seemed relieved
when he had got it safe back.
“Dear me, sir!” said Mr. Chillip, surveying me with
his head on one side. “And it’s Mr. Copperfield, is it? Well, sir,
I think I should have known you, if I had taken the liberty of
looking more closely at you. There’s a strong resemblance between
you and your poor father, sir,”
“I never had the happiness of seeing my father,” I
observed.
“Very true, sir,” said Mr. Chillip, in a soothing
tone. “And very much to be deplored it was, on all accounts! We are
not ignorant, sir,” said Mr. Chillip, slowly shaking his little
head again, “down in our part of the country, of your fame. There
must be great excitement here, sir,” said Mr. Chillip, tapping
himself on the forehead with his forefinger. “You must find it a
trying occupation, sir!”
“What is your part of the country now?” I asked,
seating myself near him.
“I am established within a few miles of Bury St.
Edmund‘s, sir,” said Mr. Chillip. “Mrs. Chillip coming into a
little property in that neighbourhood, under her father’s will, I
bought a practice down there, in which you will be glad to hear I
am doing well. My daughter is growing quite a tall lass now, sir,”
said Mr. Chillip, giving his little head another little shake. “Her
mother let down two tucks in her frocks only last week. Such is
time, you see, sir!”
As the little man put his now empty glass to his
lips, when he made this reflection, I proposed to him to have it
refilled, and I would keep him company with another. “Well, sir,”
he returned, in his slow way, “it’s more than I am accustomed to,
but I can’t deny myself the pleasure of your conversation. It seems
but yesterday that I had the honour of attending you in the
measles. You came through them charmingly, sirl”
I acknowledged this compliment, and ordered the
negus, which was soon produced. “Quite an uncommon dissipation!”
said Mr. Chillip, stirring it, “but I can’t resist so extraordinary
an occasion. You have no family, sir?”
I shook my head.
“I was aware that you sustained a bereavement, sir,
some time ago,” said Mr. Chillip. “I heard it from your
father-in-law’s sister. Very decided character there, sir?”
“Why, yes,” said I, “decided enough. Where did you
see her, Mr. Chillip?”
“Are you not aware, sir,” returned Mr. Chillip,
with his placidest smile, “that your father-in-law is again a
neighbour of mine?”
“No,” said I.
“He is indeed, sir!” said Mr. Chillip. “Married a
young lady of that part, with a very good little property, poor
thing. —And this action of the brain now, sir? Don’t you find it
fatigue you?” said Mr. Chillip, looking at me like an admiring
Robin.
I waived that question, and returned to the
Murdstones. “I was aware of his being married again. Do you attend
the family?” I asked.
“Not regularly. I have been called in,” he replied.
“Strong phrenological development of the organ of firmness, in Mr.
Murdstone and his sister, sir.”
I replied with such an expressive look that Mr.
Chillip was emboldened by that, and the negus together, to give his
head several short shakes, and thoughtfully exclaim, “Ah, dear me!
We remember old times, Mr. Copperfield!”
“And the brother and sister are pursuing their old
course, are they?” said I.
“Well, sir,” replied Mr. Chillip, “a medical man,
being so much in families, ought to have neither eyes nor ears for
anything but his profession. Still, I must say, they are very
severe, sir, both as to this life and the next.”
“The next will be regulated without much reference
to them, I dare say,” I returned, “what are they doing as to
this?”
Mr. Chillip shook his head, stirred his negus, and
sipped it.
“She was a charming woman, sir!” he observed in a
plaintive manner.
“The present Mrs. Murdstone?”
“A charming woman indeed, sir,” said Mr. Chillip,
“as amiable, I am sure, as it was possible to be! Mrs. Chillip’s
opinion is that her spirit has been entirely broken since her
marriage, and that she is all but melancholy mad. And the ladies,”
observed Mr. Chillip, timorously, “are great observers, sir.”
“I suppose she was to be subdued and broken to
their detestable mould, Heaven help her!” said I. “And she has
been.”
“Well, sir, there were violent quarrels at first, I
assure you,” said Mr. Chillip, “but she is quite a shadow now.
Would it be considered forward if I was to say to you, sir, in
confidence, that since the sister came to help, the brother and
sister between them have nearly reduced her to a state of
imbecility.”
I told him I could easily believe it.
“I have no hesitation in saying,” said Mr. Chillip,
fortifying himself with another sip of negus, “between you and me,
sir, that her mother died of it—or that tyranny, gloom, and worry
have made Mrs. Murdstone nearly imbecile. She was a lively young
woman, sir, before marriage, and their gloom and austerity
destroyed her. They go about with her, now, more like her keepers
than her husband and sister-in-law. That was Mrs. Chillip’s remark
to me, only last week. And I assure you, sir, the ladies are great
observers. Mrs. Chillip herself is a great observer!”
“Does he gloomily profess to be (I am ashamed to
use the word in such association) religious still?” I
inquired.
“You anticipate, sir,” said Mr. Chillip, his
eyelids getting quite red with the unwonted stimulus in which he
was indulging. “One of Mrs. Chillip’s most impressive remarks. Mrs.
Chillip,” he proceeded, in the calmest and slowest manner, “quite
electrified me by pointing out that Mr. Murdstone sets up an image
of himself, and calls it the Divine Nature. You might have knocked
me down on the flat of my back, sir, with the feather of a pen, I
assure you, when Mrs. Chillip said so. The ladies are great
observers, sirl”
“Intuitively,” said I, to his extreme
delight.
“I am very happy to receive such support in my
opinion, sir,” he rejoined. “It is not often that I venture to give
a non-medical opinion, I assure you. Mr. Murdstone delivers
public addresses sometimes, and it is said—in short, sir, it is
said by Mrs. Chillip—that the darker tyrant he has lately been, the
more ferocious is his doctrine.”
“I believe Mrs. Chillip to be perfectly right,”
said L
“Mrs. Chillip does go so far as to say,” pursued
the meekest of little men, much encouraged, “that what such people
miscall their religion, is a vent for their bad-humours and
arrogance. And do you know I must say, sir,” he continued, mildly
laying his head on one side, “that I don’t find authority
for Mr. and Miss Murdstone in the New Testament!”
“I never found it either!” said I.
“In the meantime, sir,” said Mr. Chillip, “they are
much disliked, and as they are very free in consigning everybody
who dislikes them to perdition, we really have a good deal of
perdition going on in our neighbourhood! However, as Mrs. Chillip
says, sir, they undergo a continual punishment, for they are turned
inward, to feed upon their own hearts, and their own hearts are
very bad feeding. Now, sir, about that brain of yours, if you’ll
excuse my returning to it. Don’t you expose it to a good deal of
excitement, sir?”
I found it not difficult, in the excitement of Mr.
Chillip’s own brain, under his potations of negus, to divert his
attention from this topic to his own affairs, on which, for the
next half-hour, he was quite loquacious, giving me to understand,
among other pieces of information, that he was then at the Gray’s
Inn Coffee-house to lay his professional evidence before a
Commission of Lunacy, touching the state of mind of a patient who
had become deranged from excessive drinking.
“And I assure you, sir,” he said, “I am extremely
nervous on such occasions. I could not support being what is called
Bullied, sir. It would quite unman me. Do you know it was some time
before I recovered the conduct of that alarming lady, on the night
of your birth, Mr. Copperfield?”
I told him that I was going down to my aunt, the
Dragon of that night, early in the morning, and that she was one of
the most tender-hearted and excellent of women, as he would know
full well if he knew her better. The mere notion of the possibility
of his ever seeing her again, appeared to terrify him. He replied
with a small pale smile, “Is she so, indeed, sir? Really?” and
almost immediately called for a candle, and went to bed, as if he
were not quite safe anywhere else. He did not actually stagger
under the negus, but I should think his placid little pulse must
have made two or three more beats in a minute, than it had done
since the great night of my aunt’s disappointment, when she struck
at him with her bonnet.
Thoroughly tired, I went to bed too, at midnight,
passed the next day on the Dover coach, burst safe and sound into
my aunt’s old parlour while she was at tea (she wore spectacles
now), and was received by her, and Mr. Dick, and dear old Peggotty,
who acted as housekeeper, with open arms and tears of joy. My aunt
was mightily amused, when we began to talk composedly, by my
account of my meeting with Mr. Chillip, and of his holding her in
such dread remembrance, and both she and Peggotty had a great deal
to say about my poor mother’s second husband, and “that murdering
woman of a sister”—on whom I think no pain or penalty would have
induced my aunt to bestow any Christian or Proper Name, or any
other designation.