CHAPTER XXXIV
My Aunt Astonishes Me
I WROTE TO AGNES AS SOON AS DORA AND I WERE
ENGAGED. I wrote her a long letter, in which I tried to make her
comprehend how blest I was, and what a darling Dora was. I
entreated Agnes not to regard this as a thoughtless passion which
could ever yield to any other, or had the least resemblance to the
boyish fancies that we used to joke about. I assured her that its
profundity was quite unfathomable, and expressed my belief that
nothing like it had ever been known.
Somehow, as I wrote to Agnes on a fine evening by
my open window, and the remembrance of her clear calm eyes and
gentle face came stealing over me, it shed such a peaceful
influence upon the hurry and agitation in which I had been living
lately, and of which my very happiness partook in some degree, that
it soothed me into tears. I remember that I sat resting my head
upon my hand, when the letter was half-done, cherishing a general
fancy as if Agnes were one of the elements of my natural home. As
if, in the retirement of the house made almost sacred to me by her
presence, Dora and I must be happier than anywhere. As if, in love,
joy, sorrow, hope, or disappointment, in all emotions, my heart
turned naturally there, and found its refuge and best friend.
Of Steerforth, I said nothing. I only told her
there had been sad grief at Yarmouth, on account of Emily’s flight,
and that on me it made a double wound, by reason of the
circumstances attending it. I knew how quick she always was to
divine the truth, and that she would never be the first to breathe
his name.
To this letter, I received an answer by return of
post. As I read it, I seemed to hear Agnes speaking to me. It was
like her cordial voice in my ears. What can I say more!
While I had been away from home lately, Traddles
had called twice or thrice. Finding Peggotty within, and being
informed by Peggotty (who always volunteered that information to
whomsoever would receive it) that she was my old nurse, he had
established a good-humoured acquaintance with her, and had stayed
to have a little chat with her about me. So Peggotty said, but I am
afraid the chat was all on her own side, and of immoderate length,
as she was very difficult indeed to stop, God bless her! when she
had me for her theme.
This reminds me, not only that I expected Traddles
on a certain afternoon of his own appointing, which was now come,
but that Mrs. Crupp had resigned everything appertaining to her
office (the salary excepted) until Peggotty should cease to present
herself. Mrs. Crupp, after holding divers conversations respecting
Peggotty, in a very high-pitched voice, on the staircase—with some
invisible Familiar it would appear, for, corporeally speaking, she
was quite alone at those times—addressed a letter to me, developing
her views. Beginning it with that statement of universal
application, which fitted every occurrence of her life, namely,
that she was a mother herself, she went on to inform me that she
had once seen very different days, but that at all periods of her
existence she had had a constitutional objection to spies,
intruders, and informers. She named no names, she said, let them
the cap fitted, wear it, but spies, intruders, and informers,
especially in widders’ weeds (this clause was underlined), she had
ever accustomed herself to look down upon. If a gentleman was the
victim of spies, intruders, and informers (but still naming no
names), that was his own pleasure. He had a right to please
himself, so let him do. All that she, Mrs. Crupp, stipulated for,
was, that she should not be “brought in contract” with such
persons. Therefore she begged to be excused from any further
attendance on the top set, until things were as they formerly was,
and as they could be wished to be, and further mentioned that her
little book would be found upon the breakfast-table every Saturday
morning, when she requested an immediate settlement of the same,
with the benevolent view of saving trouble, “and an ill
conwenience” to all parties.
After this, Mrs. Crupp confined herself to making
pitfalls on the stairs, principally with pitchers, and endeavouring
to delude Peggotty into breaking her legs. I found it rather
harassing to live in this state of siege, but was too much afraid
of Mrs. Crupp to see any way out of it.
“My dear Copperfield,” cried Traddles, punctually
appearing at my door, in spite of all these obstacles, “how do you
do?”
“My dear Traddles,” said I, “I am delighted to see
you at last, and very sorry I have not been at home before. But I
have been so much engaged—”
“Yes, yes, I know,” said Traddles, “of course.
Yours lives in London, I think.”
“What did you say?”
“She—excuse me—Miss D., you know,” said Traddles,
colouring in his great delicacy, “lives in London, I
believe?”
“Oh yes. Near London.”
“Mine, perhaps you recollect,” said Traddles, with
a serious look, “lives down in Devonshire—one of ten. Consequently,
I am not so much engaged as you—in that sense.”
“I wonder you can bear,” I returned, “to see her so
seldom.”
“Hah!” said Traddles, thoughtfully. “It does seem a
wonder. I suppose it is, Copperfield, because there’s no help for
it?”
“I suppose so,” I replied with a smile, and not
without a blush. “And because you have so much constancy and
patience, Traddles.”
“Dear me!” said Traddles, considering about it, “do
I strike you in that way, Copperfield? Really I didn’t know that I
had. But she is such an extraordinarily dear girl herself that it’s
possible she may have imparted something of those virtues to me.
Now you mention it, Copperfield, I shouldn’t wonder at all. I
assure you she is always forgetting herself, and taking care of the
other nine.”
“Is she the eldest?” I inquired.
“Oh dear, no,” said Traddles. “The eldest is a
Beauty.”
He saw, I suppose, that I could not help smiling at
the simplicity of this reply, and added, with a smile upon his own
ingenuous face:
“Not, of course, but that my Sophy—pretty name,
Copperfield, I always think?”
“Very pretty!” said I.
“Not, of course, but that Sophy is beautiful too in
my eyes, and would be one of the dearest girls that ever was, in
anybody’s eyes (I should think). But when I say the eldest is a
Beauty, I mean she really is a—” he seemed to be describing clouds
about himself, with both hands: “Splendid, you know,” said
Traddles, energetically.
“Indeed!” said I.
“Oh, I assure you,” said Traddles, “something very
uncommon, indeed! Then, you know, being formed for society and
admiration, and not being able to enjoy much of it in consequence
of their limited means, she naturally gets a little irritable and
exacting, sometimes. Sophy puts her in good humour!”
“Is Sophy the youngest?” I hazarded.
“Oh dear, no!” said Traddles, stroking his chin.
“The two youngest are only nine and ten. Sophy educates ‘em.”
“The second daughter, perhaps?” I hazarded.
“No,” said Traddles. “Sarah’s the second. Sarah has
something the matter with her spine, poor girl. The malady will
wear out by-and-by, the doctors say, but in the meantime she has to
lie down for a twelvemonth. Sophy nurses her. Sophy’s the
fourth.”
“Is the mother living?” I inquired.
“Oh yes,” said Traddles, “she is alive. She is a
very superior woman indeed, but the damp country is not adapted to
her constitution, and—in fact, she has lost the use of her
limbs.”
“Dear me!” said I.
“Very sad, is it not?” returned Traddles. “But in a
merely domestic view it is not so bad as it might be, because Sophy
takes her place. She is quite as much a mother to her
mother, as she is to the other nine.”
I felt the greatest admiration for the virtues of
this young lady, and, honestly with the view of doing my best to
prevent the good-nature of Traddles from being imposed upon, to the
detriment of their joint prospects in life, inquired how Mr.
Micawber was?
“He is quite well, Copperfield, thank you,” said
Traddles. “I am not living with him at present.”
“No?”
“No. You see the truth is,” said Traddles, in a
whisper, “he has changed his name to Mortimer, in consequence of
his temporary embarrassments, and he don’t come out till after
dark—and then in spectacles. There was an execution put into our
house, for rent. Mrs. Micawber was in such a dreadful state that I
really couldn’t resist giving my name to that second bill we spoke
of here. You may imagine how delightful it was to my feelings,
Copperfield, to see the matter settled with it, and Mrs. Micawber
recover her spirits.”
“Hum!” said I.
“Not that her happiness was of long duration,”
pursued Traddles, “for, unfortunately, within a week another
execution came in. It broke up the establishment. I have been
living in a furnished apartment since then, and the Mortimers have
been very private indeed. I hope you won’t think it selfish,
Copperfield, if I mention that the broker carried off my little
round table with the marble top, and Sophy’s flower-pot and
stand?”
“What a hard thing!” I exclaimed indignantly.
“It was a—it was a pull,” said Traddles, with his
usual wince at that expression. “I don’t mention it reproachfully,
however, but with a motive. The fact is, Copperfield, I was unable
to repurchase them at the time of their seizure, in the first
place, because the broker, having an idea that I wanted them, ran
the price up to an extravagant extent, and, in the second place,
because I—hadn’t any money. Now, I have kept my eye since upon the
broker’s shop,” said Traddles, with a great enjoyment of his
mystery, “which is up at the top of Tottenham Court Road, and, at
last, today I find them put out for sale. I have only noticed them
from over the way, because if the broker saw me, bless you,
he’d ask any price for them! What has occurred to me, having now
the money, is that perhaps you wouldn’t object to ask that good
nurse of yours to come with me to the shop—I can show it her from
round the corner of the next street—and make the best bargain for
them, as if they were for herself, that she can!”
The delight with which Traddles propounded this
plan to me, and the sense he had of its uncommon artfulness, are
among the freshest things in my remembrance.
I told him that my old nurse would be delighted to
assist him, and that we would all three take the field together,
but on one condition. That condition was that he should make a
solemn resolution to grant no more loans of his name, or anything
else, to Mr. Micawber.
“My dear Copperfield,” said Traddles, “I have
already done so, because I begin to feel that I have not only been
inconsiderate, but that I have been positively unjust to Sophy. My
word being passed to myself, there is no longer any apprehension,
but I pledge it to you, too, with the greatest readiness. That
first unlucky obligation, I have paid. I have no doubt Mr. Micawber
would have paid it if he could, but he could not. One thing I ought
to mention, which I like very much in Mr. Micawber, Copperfield. It
refers to the second obligation, which is not yet due. He don’t
tell me that it is provided for, but he says it will be.
Now, I think there is something very fair and honest about
that!”
I was unwilling to damp my good friend’s
confidence, and therefore assented. After a little further
conversation, we went round to the chandler’s shop, to enlist
Peggotty, Traddles declining to pass the evening with me, both
because he endured the liveliest apprehensions that his property
would be bought by somebody else before he could repurchase it, and
because it was the evening he always devoted to writing to the
dearest girl in the world.
I never shall forget him peeping round the corner
of the street in Tottenham Court Road, while Peggotty was
bargaining for the precious articles, or his agitation when she
came slowly towards us after vainly offering a price, and was
hailed by the relenting broker, and went back again. The end of the
negotiation was that she bought the property on tolerably easy
terms, and Traddles was transported with pleasure.
“I am very much obliged to you, indeed,” said
Traddles, on hearing it was to be sent to where he lived, that
night. “If I might ask one other favour, I hope you would not think
it absurd, Copperfield?”
I said, beforehand, certainly not.
“Then if you would be good enough,” said
Traddles to Peggotty, “to get the flower-pot now, I think I should
like (it being Sophy‘s, Copperfield) to carry it home
myself!”
Peggotty was glad to get it for him, and he
overwhelmed her with thanks, and went his way up Tottenham Court
Road, carrying the flower-pot affectionately in his arms, with one
of the most delighted expressions of countenance I ever saw.
We then turned back towards my chambers. As the
shops had charms for Peggotty which I never knew them possess in
the same degree for anybody else, I sauntered easily along, amused
by her staring in at the windows, and waiting for her as often as
she chose. We were thus a good while in getting to the
Adelphi.
On our way upstairs, I called her attention to the
sudden disappearance of Mrs. Crupp’s pitfalls, and also to the
prints of recent footsteps. We were both very much surprised,
coming higher up, to find my outer door standing open (which I had
shut), and to hear voices inside.
We looked at one another, without knowing what to
make of this, and went into the sitting-room. What was my amazement
to find, of all people upon earth, my aunt there, and Mr. Dick! My
aunt sitting on a quantity of luggage, with her two birds before
her, and her cat on her knee, like a female Robinson Crusoe,
drinking tea, Mr. Dick leaning thoughtfully on a great kite, such
as we had often been out together to fly, with more luggage piled
about him!
“My dear Auntl” cried I. “Why, what an unexpected
pleasure!”
We cordially embraced, and Mr. Dick and I cordially
shook hands, and Mrs. Crupp, who was busy making tea, and could not
be too attentive, cordially said she had knowed well as Mr.
Copperfull would have his heart in his mouth, when he see his dear
relations.
“Holloa!” said my aunt to Peggotty, who quailed
before her awful presence. “How are you?”
“You remember my aunt, Peggotty?” said I.
“For the love of goodness, child,” exclaimed my
aunt, “don’t call the woman by that South Sea Island name! If she
married and got rid of it, which was the best thing she could do,
why don’t you give her the benefit of the change? What’s your name
now—P?” said my aunt, as a compromise for the obnoxious
appellation.
“Barkis, ma‘am,” said Peggotty, with a
curtsey.
“Well! That’s human,” said my aunt. “It sounds less
as if you wanted a Missionary. How d‘ye do, Barkis? I hope you’re
well?”
Encouraged by these gracious words, and by my
aunt’s extending her hand, Barkis came forward, and took the hand,
and curtseyed her acknowledgments.
“We are older than we were, I see,” said my aunt.
“We have only met each other once before, you know. A nice business
we made of it then! Trot, my dear, another cup.”
I handed it dutifully to my aunt, who was in her
usual inflexible state of figure, and ventured a remonstrance with
her on the subject of her sitting on a box.
“Let me draw the sofa here, or the easy chair,
Aunt,” said I. “Why should you be so uncomfortable?”
“Thank you, Trot,” replied my aunt, “I prefer to
sit upon my property.” Here my aunt looked hard at Mrs. Crupp, and
observed, “We needn’t trouble you to wait, ma‘am.”
“Shall I put a little more tea in the pot afore I
go, ma‘am?” said Mrs. Crupp.
“No, I thank you, ma‘am,” replied my aunt.
“Would you let me fetch another pat of butter,
ma‘am ?” said Mrs. Crupp. “Or would you be persuaded to try a
new-laid hegg? or should I brile a rasher? Ain’t there nothing I
could do for your dear aunt, Mr. Copperfull?”
“Nothing, ma‘am,” returned my aunt. “I shall do
very well, I thank you.”
Mrs. Crupp, who had been incessantly smiling to
express sweet temper, and incessantly holding her head on one side,
to express a general feebleness of constitution, and incessantly
rubbing her hands, to express a desire to be of service to all
deserving objects, gradually smiled herself, one-sided herself, and
rubbed herself, out of the room.
“Dickl” said my aunt. “You know what I told you
about time-servers and wealth-worshippers?”
Mr. Dick—with a rather scared look, as if he had
forgotten it—returned a hasty answer in the affirmative.
“Mrs. Crupp is one of them,” said my aunt. “Barkis,
I’ll trouble you to look after the tea, and let me have another
cup, for I don’t fancy that woman’s pouring-cut!”
I knew my aunt sufficiently well to know that she
had something of importance on her mind, and that there was far
more matter in this arrival than a stranger might have supposed. I
noticed how her eye lighted on me, when she thought my attention
otherwise occupied, and what a curious process of hesitation
appeared to be going on within her, while she preserved her outward
stiffness and composure. I began to reflect whether I had done
anything to offend her, and my conscience whispered me that I had
not yet told her about Dora. Could it by any means be that, I
wondered!
As I knew she would only speak in her own good
time, I sat down near her, and spoke to the birds, and played with
the cat, and was as easy as I could be. But I was very far from
being really easy, and I should still have been so, even if Mr.
Dick, leaning over the great kite behind my aunt, had not taken
every secret opportunity of shaking his head darkly at me, and
pointing at her.
“Trot,” said my aunt at last, when she had finished
her tea, and carefully smoothed down her dress, and wiped her
lips—“you needn’t go, Barkis!—Trot, have you got to be firm, and
self-reliant?”
“I hope so, Aunt.”
“What do you think?” inquired Miss Betsey.
“I think so, Aunt.”
“Then why, my love,” said my aunt, looking
earnestly at me, “why do you think I prefer to sit upon this
property of mine tonight?”
I shook my head, unable to guess.
“Because,” said my aunt, “it’s all I have. Because
I’m ruined, my dear!”
If the house, and every one of us, had tumbled out
into the river together, I could hardly have received a greater
shock.
“Dick knows it,” said my aunt, laying her hand
calmly on my shoulder. “I am ruined, my dear Trot! All I have in
the world is in this room, except the cottage, and that I have left
Janet to let. Barkis, I want to get a bed for this gentleman
tonight. To save expence, perhaps you can make up something here
for myself. Anything will do. It’s only for tonight. Well talk
about this, more, tomorrow.”
I was roused from my amazement, and concern for
her—I am sure, for her—by her falling on my neck for a moment, and
crying that she only grieved for me. In another moment she
suppressed this emotion, and said, with an aspect more triumphant
than dejected:
“We must meet reverses boldly, and not suffer them
to frighten us, my dear. We must learn to act the play out. We must
live misfortune down, Trot!”