CHAPTER L
Mr. Peggotty’s Dream Comes
True
By THIS TIME, SOME MONTHS HAD PASSED, SINCE
OUR INTERVIEW on the bank of the river with Martha. I had never
seen her since, but she had communicated with Mr. Peggotty on
several occasions. Nothing had come of her zealous intervention,
nor could I infer, from what he told me, that any clue had ever
been obtained, for a moment, to Emily’s fate. I confess that I
began to despair of her recovery, and gradually to sink deeper and
deeper into the belief that she was dead.
His conviction remained unchanged. So far as I
know—and I believe his honest heart was transparent to me—he never
wavered again, in his solemn certainty of finding her. His patience
never tired. And, although I trembled for the agony it might one
day be to him to have his strong assurance shivered at a blow,
there was something so religious in it, so affectingly expressive
of its anchor being in the purest depths of his fine nature, that
the respect and honour in which I held him were exalted every
day.
His was not a lazy trustfulness that hoped, and did
no more. He had been a man of sturdy action all his life, and he
knew that in all things wherein he wanted help he must do his own
part faithfully, and help himself. I have known him set out in the
night, on a misgiving that the light might not be, by some
accident, in the window of the old boat, and walk to Yarmouth. I
have known him, on reading something in the newspaper, that might
apply to her, take up his stick, and go forth on a journey of three
or four score miles. He made his way by sea to Naples, and back,
after hearing the narrative to which Miss Dartle had assisted me.
All his journeys were ruggedly performed, for he was always
steadfast in a purpose of saving money for Emily’s sake, when she
should be found. In all this long pursuit, I never heard him
repine, I never heard him say he was fatigued, or out of
heart.
Dora had often seen him since our marriage, and was
quite fond of him. I fancy his figure before me now, standing near
her sofa, with his rough cap in his hand, and the blue eyes of my
child-wife raised, with a timid wonder, to his face. Sometimes of
an evening, about twilight, when he came to talk with me, I would
induce him to smoke his pipe in the garden, as we slowly paced to
and fro together, and then, the picture of his deserted home, and
the comfortable air it used to have in my childish eyes, of an
evening, when the fire was burning, and the wind moaning round it,
came most vividly into my mind.
One evening, at this hour, he told me that he had
found Martha waiting near his lodging on the preceding night when
he came out, and that she had asked him not to leave London on any
account, until he should have seen her again.
“Did she tell you why?” I inquired.
“I asked her, Mas‘r Davy,” he replied, “but it is
but few words as she ever says, and she on’y got my promise and so
went away.”
“Did she say when you might expect to see her
again?” I demanded.
“No, Mas‘r Davy,” he returned, drawing his hand
thoughtfully down his face. “I asked that too, but it was more (she
said) than she could tell.”
As I had long forborne to encourage him with hopes
that hung on threads, I made no other comment on this information
than that I supposed he would see her soon. Such speculations as it
engendered within me I kept to myself, and those were faint
enough.
I was walking alone in the garden, one evening,
about a fortnight afterwards. I remember that evening well. It was
the second in Mr. Micawber’s week of suspense. There had been rain
all day, and there was a damp feeling in the air. The leaves were
thick upon the trees, and heavy with wet, but the rain had ceased,
though the sky was still dark, and the hopeful birds were singing
cheerfully. As I walked to and fro in the garden, and the twilight
began to close around me, their little voices were hushed, and that
peculiar silence which belongs to such an evening in the country
when the lightest trees are quite still, save for the occasional
droppings from their boughs, prevailed.
There was a little green perspective of
trellis-work and ivy at the side of our cottage, through which I
could see, from the garden where I was walking, into the road
before the house. I happened to turn my eyes towards this place, as
I was thinking of many things, and I saw a figure beyond, dressed
in a plain cloak. It was bending eagerly towards me, and
beckoning.
“Martha!” said I, going to it.
“Can you come with me?” she inquired, in an
agitated whisper. “I have been to him, and he is not at home. I
wrote down where he was to come, and left it on his table with my
own hand. They said he would not be out long. I have tidings for
him. Can you come directly?”
My answer was to pass out at the gate immediately.
She made a hasty gesture with her hand, as if to entreat my
patience and my silence, and turned towards London, whence, as her
dress betokened, she had come expeditiously on foot.
I asked her if that were not our destination? On
her motioning yes, with the same hasty gesture as before, I stopped
an empty coach that was coming by, and we got into it. When I asked
her where the coachman was to drive, she answered “Anywhere near
Golden Square! And quick!”—then shrunk into a comer, with one
trembling hand before her face, and the other making the former
gesture, as if she could not bear a voice.
Now much disturbed, and dazzled with conflicting
gleams of hope and dread, I looked at her for some explanation.
But, seeing how strongly she desired to remain quiet, and feeling
that it was my own natural inclination too, at such a time, I did
not attempt to break the silence. We proceeded without a word being
spoken. Sometimes she glanced out of the window, as though she
thought we were going slowly, though indeed we were going fast, but
otherwise remained exactly as at first.
We alighted at one of the entrances to the Square
she had mentioned, where I directed the coach to wait, not knowing
but that we might have some occasion for it. She laid her hand on
my arm, and hurried me on to one of the sombre streets, of which
there are several in that part, where the houses were once fair
dwellings in the occupation of single families, but have, and had,
long degenerated into poor lodgings let off in rooms. Entering at
the open door of one of these, and releasing my arm, she beckoned
me to follow her up the common staircase, which was like a
tributary channel to the street.
The house swarmed with inmates. As we went up,
doors of rooms were opened and people’s heads put out, and we
passed other people on the stairs, who were coming down. In
glancing up from the outsde, before we entered, I had seen women
and children lolling at the windows over flower-pots, and we seemed
to have attracted their curiosity, for these were principally the
observers who looked out of their doors. It was a broad panelled
staircase, with massive balustrades of some dark wood, cornices
above the doors, ornamented with carved fruit and flowers, and
broad seats in the windows. But all these tokens of past grandeur
were miserably decayed and dirty; rot, damp, and age, had weakened
the flooring, which in many places was unsound and even unsafe.
Some attempts had been made, I noticed, to infuse new blood into
this dwindling frame, by repairing the costly old wood-work here
and there with common deal, but it was like the marriage of a
reduced old noble to a plebeian pauper, and each party to the
ill-assorted union shrunk away from the other. Several of the back
windows on the staircase had been darkened or wholly blocked up. In
those that remained, there was scarcely any glass, and, through the
crumbling frames by which the bad air seemed always to come in, and
never to go out, I saw, through other glassless windows, into other
houses in a similar condition, and looked giddily down into a
wretched yard, which was the common dust-heap of the mansion.
We proceeded to the top-story of the house. Two or
three times, by the way, I thought I observed in the indistinct
light the skirts of a female figure going up before us. As we
turned to ascend the last flight of stairs between us and the roof,
we caught a full view of this figure pausing for a moment, at a
door. Then it turned the handle, and went in.
“What’s this!” said Martha, in a whisper. “She has
gone into my room. I don’t know her!”
I knew her. I had recognized her with
amazement, for Miss Dartle.
I said something to the effect that it was a lady
whom I had seen before, in a few words, to my conductress, and had
scarcely done so when we heard her voice in the room, though not,
from where we stood, what she was saying. Martha, with an
astonished look, repeated her former action, and softly led me up
the stairs, and then, by a little back door which seemed to have no
lock, and which she pushed open with a touch, into a small empty
garret with a low sloping roof, little better than a cupboard.
Between this, and the room she had called hers, there was a small
door of communication, standing partly open. Here we stopped,
breathless with our ascent, and she placed her hand lightly on my
lips. I could only see, of the room beyond, that it was pretty
large, that there was a bed in it, and that there were some common
pictures of ships upon the walls. I could not see Miss Dartle, or
the person whom we had heard her address. Certainly my companion
could not, for my position was the best.
A dead silence prevailed for some moments. Martha
kept one hand on my lips, and raised the other in a listening
attitude.
“It matters little to me her not being at home,”
said Rosa Dartle, haughtily, “I know nothing of her. It is you I
come to see.”
“Me?” replied a soft voice.
At the sound of it, a thrill went through my frame.
For it was Emily‘s!
“Yes,” returned Miss Dartle, “I have come to look
at you. What? You are not ashamed of the face that has done so
much?”
The resolute and unrelenting hatred of her tone,
its cold stern sharpness, and its mastered rage, presented her
before me, as if I had seen her standing in the light. I saw the
flashing black eyes, and the passion-wasted figure, and I saw the
scar, with its white track cutting through her lips, quivering and
throbbing as she spoke.
“I have come to see,” she said, “James Steerforth’s
fancy, the girl who ran away with him, and is the town-talk of the
commonest people of her native place, the bold, flaunting,
practised companion of persons like James Steerforth. I want to
know what such a thing is like.”
There was a rustle, as if the unhappy girl, on whom
she heaped these taunts, ran towards the door, and the speaker
swiftly interposed herself before it. It was succeeded by a
moment’s pause
When Miss Dartle spoke again, it was through her
set teeth, and with a stamp upon the ground.
“Stay there!” she said, “or I’ll proclaim you to
the house, and the whole street! If you try to evade me,
I’ll stop you, if it’s by the hair, and raise the very stones
against you!”
A frightened murmur was the only reply that reached
my ears. A silence succeeded. I did not know what to do. Much as I
desired to put an end to the interview, I felt that I had no right
to present myself, that it was for Mr. Peggotty alone to see her
and recover her. Would he never come? I thought, impatiently.
“So!” said Rosa Dartle, with a contemptuous laugh,
“I see her at last! Why, he was a poor creature to be taken by that
delicate mock-modesty, and that hanging head!”
“Oh, for Heaven’s sake, spare me!” exclaimed Emily.
“Whoever you are, you know my pitiable story, and for Heaven’s sake
spare me, if you would be spared yourself!”
“If I would be spared!” returned the other
fiercely, “what is there in common between us, do you
think?”
“Nothing but our sex,” said Emily, with a burst of
tears.
“And that,” said Rosa Dartle, “is so strong a
claim, preferred by one so infamous, that if I had any feeling in
my breast but scorn and abhorrence of you, it would freeze it up.
Our sex! You are an honour to our sex!”
“I have deserved this,” cried Emily, “but it’s
dreadful! Dear, dear lady, think what I have suffered, and how I am
fallen! Oh, Martha, come back! Oh, home, home!”
Miss Dartle placed herself in a chair, within view
of the door, and looked downward, as if Emily were crouching on the
floor before her. Being now between me and the light, I could see
her curled lip, and her cruel eyes intently fixed on one place,
with a greedy triumph.
“Listen to what I say!” she said, “and reserve your
false arts for your dupes. Do you hope to move me by your tears? No
more than you could charm me by your smiles, you purchased
slave.”
“Oh, have some mercy on me!” cried Emily. “Show me
some compassion, or I shall die mad!”
“It would be no great penance,” said Rosa Dartle,
“for your crimes. Do you know what you have done? Do you ever think
of the home you have laid waste?”
“Oh, is there ever night or day, when I don’t think
of it!” cried Emily, and now I could just see her, on her knees,
with her head thrown back, her pale face looking upward, her hands
wildly clasped and held out, and her hair streaming about her. “Has
there ever been a single minute, waking or sleeping, when it hasn’t
been before me, just as it used to be in the lost days when I
turned my back upon it for ever and for ever! Oh, home, home! Oh
dear, dear Uncle, if you ever could have known the agony your love
would cause me when I fell away from good, you never would have
shown it to me so constant, much as you felt it, but would have
been angry to me, at least once in my life, that I might have had
some comfort! I have none, none, no comfort upon earth, for all of
them were always fond of me!” She dropped on her face, before the
imperious figure in the chair, with an imploring effort to clasp
the skirt of her dress.
Rosa Dartle sat looking down upon her, as
inflexible as a figure of brass. Her lips were tightly compressed,
as if she knew that she must keep a strong constraint upon
herself—I write what I sincerely believe—or she would be tempted to
strike the beautiful form with her foot. I saw her, distinctly, and
the whole power of her face and character seemed forced into that
expression.—Would he never come?
“The miserable vanity of these earth-worms!” she
said, when she had so far controlled the angry heavings of her
breast, that she could trust herself to speak. “Your home!
Do you imagine that I bestow a thought on it, or suppose you could
do any harm to that low place, which money would not pay for, and
handsomely? Your home! You were a part of the trade of your
home, and were bought and sold like any other vendible thing your
people dealt in.”
“Oh not that!” cried Emily. “Say anything of me,
but don’t visit my disgrace and shame, more than I have done, on
folks who are as honourable as you! Have some respect for them, as
you are a lady, if you have no mercy for me.”
“I speak,” she said, not deigning to take any heed
of this appeal, and drawing away her dress from the contamination
of Emily’s touch, “I speak of his home—where I live. Here,”
she said, stretching out her hand with her contemptuous laugh, and
looking down upon the prostrate girl, “is a worthy cause of
division between lady-mother and gentleman-son, of grief in a house
where she wouldn’t have been admitted as a kitchen-girl, of anger,
and repining, and reproach. This piece of pollution, picked up from
the water-side, to be made much of for an hour, and then tossed
back to her original place!”
“No! no!” cried Emily, clasping her hands together.
“When he first came into my way—that the day had never dawned upon
me, and he had met me being carried to my grave!—I had been brought
up as virtuous as you or any lady, and was going to be the wife of
as good a man as you or any lady in the world can ever marry. If
you live in his home and know him, you know, perhaps, what his
power with a weak, vain girl might be. I don’t defend myself, but I
know well, and he knows well, or he will know when he comes to die,
and his mind is troubled with it, that he used all his power to
deceive me, and that I believed him, trusted him, and loved
him!”
Rosa Dartle sprang up from her seat, recoiled, and,
in recoiling, struck at her, with a face of such malignity, so
darkened and disfigured by passion, that I had almost thrown myself
between them. The blow, which had no aim, fell upon the air. As she
now stood panting, looking at her with the utmost detestation that
she was capable of expressing, and trembling from head to foot with
rage and scorn, I thought I had never seen such a sight, and never
could see such another.
“You love him? You?” she cried, with her
clenched hand, quivering as if it only wanted a weapon to stab the
object of her wrath.
Emily had shrunk out of my view. There was no
reply.
“And tell that to me,” she added, “with your
shameful lips? Why don’t they whip these creatures? If I could
order it to be done, I would have this girl whipped to
death.”
And so she would, I have no doubt. I would not have
trusted her with the rack itself, while that furious look
lasted.
She slowly, very slowly, broke into a laugh, and
pointed at Emily with her hand, as if she were a sight of shame for
gods and men.
“She love!” she said. “That carrion! And he
ever cared for her, she’d tell me. Ha, ha! The liars that these
traders arel” Her mockery was worse than her undisguised rage. Of
the two, I would have much preferred to be the object of the
latter. But, when she suffered it to break loose, it was only for a
moment. She had chained it up again, and however it might tear her
within, she subdued it to herself.
“I came here, you pure fountain of love,” she said,
“to see —as I began by telling you—what such a thing as you was
like. I was curious. I am satisfied. Also to tell you that you had
best seek that home of yours, with all speed, and hide your head
among those excellent people who are expecting you, and whom your
money will console. When it’s all gone, you can believe, and trust,
and love again, you know! I thought you a broken toy that had
lasted its time, a worthless spangle that was tarnished, and thrown
away. But, finding you true gold, a very lady, and an ill-used
innocent, with a fresh heart full of love and trustfulness—which
you look like, and is quite consistent with your story!—I have
something more to say. Attend to it, for what I say, I’ll do. Do
you hear me, you fairy spirit? What I say, I mean to do!”
Her rage got the better of her again, for a moment,
but it passed over her face like a spasm, and left her
smiling.
“Hide yourself,” she pursued, “if not at home,
somewhere. Let it be somewhere beyond reach, in some obscure
life—or, better still, in some obscure death. I wonder, if your
loving heart will not break, you have found no way of helping it to
be still! I have heard of such means sometimes. I believe they may
be easily found.”
A low crying, on the part of Emily, interrupted her
here. She stopped, and listened to it as if it were music.
“I am of a strange nature, perhaps,” Rosa Dartle
went on, “but I can’t breathe freely in the air you breathe. I find
it sickly. Therefore, I will have it cleared, I will have it
purified of you. If you live here tomorrow, I’ll have your story
and your character proclaimed on the common stair. There are decent
women in the house, I am told, and it is a pity such a light as you
should be among them, and concealed. If, leaving here, you seek any
refuge in this town in any character but your true one (which you
are welcome to bear, without molestation from me), the same service
shall be done you, if I hear of your retreat. Being assisted by a
gentleman who not long ago aspired to the favour of your hand, I am
sanguine as to that.”
Would he never, never come? How long was I to bear
this? How long could I bear it?
“Oh me, oh me!” exclaimed the wretched Emily, in a
tone that might have touched the hardest heart, I should have
thought, but there was no relenting in Rosa Dartle’s smile. “What,
what, shall I dol”
“Do?” returned the other. “Live happy in your own
reflections! Consecrate your existence to the recollection of James
Steerforth’s tenderness—he would have made you his serving-man’s
wife, would he not?—or to feeling grateful to the upright and
deserving creature who would have taken you as his gift. Or, if
those proud remembrances, and the consciousness of your own
virtues, and the honourable position to which they have raised you
in the eyes of everything that wears the human shape, will not
sustain you, marry that good man, and be happy in his
condescension. If this will not do either, die! There are doorways
and dust-heaps for such deaths, and such despair—find one, and take
your flight to Heaven!”
I heard a distant foot upon the stairs. I knew it,
I was certain. It was his, thank God!
She moved slowly from before the door when she said
this, and passed out of my sight.
“But mark!” she added, slowly and sternly, opening
the other door to go away, “I am resolved, for reasons that I have
and hatreds that I entertain, to cast you out, unless you withdraw
from my reach altogether, or drop your pretty mask. This is what I
had to say, and what I say, I mean to do!”
The foot upon the stairs came nearer—nearer—passed
her as she went down—rushed into the room!
“Uncle!”
A fearful cry followed the word. I paused a moment,
and, looking in, saw him supporting her insensible figure in his
arms. He gazed for a few seconds in the face, then stooped to kiss
it—oh, how tenderly!—and drew a handkerchief before it.
“Mas‘r Davy,” he said, in a low tremulous voice,
when it was covered, “I thank my Heav’nly Father as my dream’s come
true! I thank Him heartily for having guided of me, in His own
ways, to my darling!”
With those words he took her up in his arms, and,
with the veiled face lying on his bosom, and addressed towards his
own, carried her, motionless and unconscious, down the
stairs.