3
ON RETURNING TO WINSTERMILL
cothouse(s) type of fortalice; the small,
often houselike, fortresses built along highroads to provide billet
and protection to lamplighters and their auxiliaries. Cothouses are
usually built no more than ten to twelve miles apart, so that the
lamplighters will not be left lighting lamps and exposed in the
unfriendly night for too long. Their size goes from a simple
high-house with slit windows well off the ground, through the
standard structure of a main house with small attendant buildings
all surrounded by a wall, to the fortified bastion-houses like
Haltmire on the Conduit Vermis or Tungoom on the Conduit
Felix.
ROSSAMÜND woke, having slept very little,
to the drum roll of “Stand While You Can,” a merry martial tune
rattled out every morning at five-o’-the-clock to rouse the
lantern-watch.
Stand while you can, lads,
Stand while you can:
For the Glory of Ol’ Barny,
Stand while you can.
He gave a gentle groan. The common-quarter night at
Wellnigh had been full of snores and night shouts and a paucity of
proper rest. He should have been used to this: it was how he had
spent all his sleeps at Madam Opera’s. Two months’ prenticing at
Winstermill, however, with a cell of his own, had given him
something he had never truly known, privacy. Cold and small though
his cell might have been, with a cot lumpy like tepid
slogg-porridge, he had come to prize its seclusion.
Rousing himself, Rossamünd rubbed grit-itchy eyes
and sat, his head still swimming with nightmares of gnashing
shadows and carriages attacked. Fouracres, the ambling Imperial
postman he had met on his journey to Winstermill, had told him a
lamplighter’s life was dangerous, and now the prentice well
understood why.
A life of adventure. A life of
violence.
Bright-limns were turned and their cool light
slowly revealed the long, low quarters. Waking and rising, the
other prentice-lighters hubbubbed with restrained excitement,
retelling last night’s theroscade.
“What about that young calendar!” Hanging by his
arms from one of the low, steeply angled rafters, Punthill Plod
gave a saucy whoop that set the sleepier ones complaining. Mornings
always were his better part of the day.
“Aye! She was a bit of a fine dig,” Tremendus Twörp
leered, “though she couldn’t wit for a goose.”
“Did ye hear old Grind-yer-bones last night?” Plod
enthused. “We might get marked.Ye heard him: said prentices ain’t
been puncted in a precious long time!”
“I’m not getting one,” Rossamünd declared, with
more gladness than he meant to show.
“Why not, Rosey?” Plod stopped his rafter
swinging.
“Lampsman Puttinger said I did not have a hand in
killing anything.”
“Oh” was all Plod said.
“Ye don’t sound too troubled, Rosey. Don’t ye want
one?” Twörp added. “Perhaps there should ’ave been more so you
could’ve got yerself a kill.” He gave a sardonic grin.
“That was more than enough for me,” Crofton Wheede
put in, wide-eyed. “I thought we were done in and no mistaking! It
was like how me poor mammy ended all over again . . .”
“Don’t start on yer poor mammy, Wheede!” Eugus
Smellgrove called testily, still lying abed.
“Aye,” Giddian Pillow offered, “just be grateful
they weren’t one of them gudgeon-baskets I heard tell of—them ones
running wild out Gathercoal way.”
“They reckon a wit can’t stop a rever-man,” Wheede
shuddered, clearly glad it had not been a brace of these vile
creatures on the road last night.
Gudgeons! Rever-men? Rossamünd sat up.
“Where did you hear about that?” he called.
“When we were in Silvernook the other day,” Pillow
answered. “Some fellow at the skittle-alley on the Hackstone Row
says he’d come from Makepeace and that it was all abuzz about the
quarry being haunted by some handmade beastie.”
Rossamünd nodded, aghast. “But how did it get
there? They have to be put somewhere, don’t they? Rever-men don’t
just wander about on their own—do they? Someone has to make them.
Someone has to place them.”
“It probably got loose from a hob-rousing pit,”
Pillow offered with a grim and knowing look.
Hob-rousing was the illegal practice of setting
monsters against gudgeons and betting on the winner. Rossamünd
thought of Freckle and the rever-man once locked in the hold of the
Hogshead. Maybe that was where they were headed? He
was doubly glad now he had set Freckle free. “But that’s wrong!” he
exclaimed without thinking.
The others looked at him blankly.
“Well, I’ve heard it that the fluffs use the
baskets for guards to protect all their jools and secrets,” Plod
said finally, rolling his eyes weirdly. He wiggled his fingers as
if a great shower of coins were pouring through them, causing a
chuckle among his fellows.
“I heard it said there’s some poor fellow back at
Winstermill who’s all agog from what they reckon was a gudgeon
fight,” Smellgrove joined in, fully awake at last. “Was once a fine
lighter but has never been right in his intellectuals since.”
“Clap it shut, little frogs!” Assimus snorted,
startling them all, stomping into the room to rouse them out to the
sip-pots to wash. “Who talks on rever-men at this fresh hour of
day? Git ye up and git ye at ’em! Out for yer scrubbing! Move yer
carcasses!”
A line of tubs ran along a wall in a small yard
adjacent to the foreyard of the northern keep. While the shivering
boys scrubbed themselves in the freezing twilight, the topic of
talk soon shifted to more friendly adventures. First it was the
mischief done on the last Domesday visit to Silvernook and mischief
planned for the next—for Domesday was the common, weekly vigil-day
and their one occasion of rest. Much to the other boys’ bemused
disapproval, Rossamünd had never joined them on these half-drunken
jaunts, preferring to spend his money on pamphlets and remain
behind at the manse reading. In the time since he started at
Winstermill he had ventured down to Silvernook only twice to get
more pamphlets and to see if he might meet again with Fouracres,
who had helped him so much on his way to prenticing. The restless
postman had not had an opportunity to come to Winstermill.
Silvernook and the dwellings of the Brindleshaws were his range,
and he was so devoted to his “custom”—as he called the people he
delivered to, he rarely had a common vigil himself. Their reunions
had therefore been necessarily and unsatisfactorily brief, and
Rossamünd was still hoping for a day where they might sit and talk
in earnest.
The boys’ chatter changed again to the most common
topic—in what cothouse each prentice thought he would like to serve
once prenticing was done and they had all become lampsmen 3rd
class.
“I want to go to Makepeace Stile,” Plod said
eagerly. “They work close with them obstaculars to catch bandits
and dark traders and such.”
“What about Haltmire?” pondered Twörp, leering at
Wheede. “Ye get to see plenty of nickers there.”
“They don’t send lampsmen 3rd class out there,
Twörp!” Wheede rose to the goad. “It’s too unfriendly for new
lighters.”
“Aye,” said Smellgrove, “the way ye was whimpering
last night I can see why.”
Rossamünd did not particularly care: where he was
sent was where he was sent. Surely it would all be the same: light
the lamp, douse the lamp, light the lamp, douse the lamp, light the
lamp, douse the lamp, always waiting for some monster to spring and
deliver a horrible end . . .
Rossamünd contrived to wash only his face and not
remove his shirt before being herded back to the gallery to dress
in full. Today was the day when he was due to change his nullodor:
the Exstinker he had promised both Fransitart and Craumpalin to
wear, splashed on the cambric sash wound about his chest, under his
clothes. But his precious Exstinker was back at Winstermill,
wrapped up in an oilcloth at the bottom of his bed chest at the
base of the lumpy cot.
Before putting on his quabard—the vest of rigid
proofing all lighters wore over their coats—he stared at the
embroidered figure upon it. Stitched in thread-of-gold was an owl
displayed wings out, talons reaching, sewn over panels of rouge and
leuc—red and white. Sagix Glauxes Rex—the Sagacious Imperial
Owl—the sign of an Emperor’s man. For the Glory of Ol’ Barny
indeed!
The prentice-watch messed on the usual farrats and
small beer (never as good as that served at the Harefoot Dig—always
far too watery). Tomorrow’s breakfast at the manse would be no
better—dark pong bread swilled down with saloop, a drink of
sassafras and sugar boiled in milk. The morning after that it would
be farrats once more, then pong the next, then farrats, over and
over.
Breakfast wolfed down, they paraded out in the yard
of the northern keep before the sun had even peeped. Now they must
douse all the lanterns back to Winstermill and be in time for
limes, the morning interval between first morning instructions and
second. This was where the prentices still at Winstermill were
formed up to await the return of the lantern-watch, each given
lime-laced pints of small beer to fend off ill-health. Ready for
this returning and looking forward to limes, the boys stood
shivering in the glow of bright seltzer lamps, the morning showing
as a cold halo in a low and murky sky.This was the time of day
figured safest, when night monsters had found their beds once more
and daytime prowlers were still waking.
Surly and overtired, Assimus, Bellicos and
Puttinger poked the boys into correct dressing with rough tugs and
prods of their fodicars. Grindrod called them to attention and
marched them out the gates. Back to Winstermill they went, to a
little rest before resuming the solemn routines of their
prenticing.
Back to Winstermill, that is, except for Rossamünd.
He had been left behind as a courtesy from the lamplighter-sergeant
to rouse the calendars and accompany them to the manse. Returning
from the foreyard, he passed Mister Bolt, the night-clerk and
uhrsprechman, sitting in the north keep guardroom behind a small
dirty stool that served as his table, and asked him the time of
day.
Groggy, smelling of claret and squinting with lack
of sleep, Mister Bolt peered at Rossamünd. “Quota hora est,
he asks!” the night-clerk said, taking out his heavy fob. “What
time is it indeed?” He glared at its cryptic face beadily. “Why,
lantern-stick, it’s a little before the half hour of
five-o’the-clock on this cruel chill’s morning, and the bad half of
a good hour till the drummer wakes the rest and I get to me
fleabag” (by which he meant his bed).
By their own instruction the calendars were not to
be troubled for another hour. At last Rossamünd had a moment of his
own, without press or crowd or the impel of orders—a precious-rare
commodity, he had learned, in a lamplighter’s life. Secreting
himself in a dim corner beneath the stairs that went up to the
gallery, he hoped to remain inconspicuous, perhaps to read a little
of his new pamphlet and avoid being discovered and set to some
odious task.
He failed.
As the drums rataplanned again to wake the rest of
the cothouse for another day, the house-major, on his way down to
breakfast, spied Rossamünd. “You there! Lantern-stick! The one I
spoke with last night,” the officer barked. “Feed the dogs. Their
meat is in the kitchen.”
“Aye, sir,” the young prentice said with sinking
wind. It was properly the duty of the house-watch to feed the dogs.
The house-major must have known that though Rossamünd had been left
behind, he was still part of the lantern-watch. He had rarely ever
met a dog of any sort—they were not allowed in Madam Opera’s—and
any time he had, the meeting had not been comfortable. Shaken, the
young prentice nevertheless obeyed without demur, asking directions
of a kitchen hand.
“They’re in the yard of the south keep,” a
rough-shaven kitchen hand explained, handing Rossamünd a rotund pot
of dog vittles. “Mind the weight!”
Wrapping his arms about the pot’s wide girth,
Rossamünd did not find the burden a trouble and, arms full of
reeking offcuts, made his way to the southern keep of Wellnigh. He
wrestled the great pot past the house-watchmen, a half quarto of
haubardiers pacing about the edges of the road who jostled him as
he tried to get around them.
“Move your ashes, scrub!”
Tottering across the Pettiwiggin, he thumped with
his elbow at the small sally port in the wall of the south keep
yard. No one answered, and he kept thumping until one of the
haubardiers came over and, with a sardonic grin, unlocked and
opened the port to let him through. In the small, high-walled space
beyond were the great kennels, built up against the keep’s base,
barred with stout iron founded in stone. This was the cage for the
dogs, five Greater Derehunds—enormous creatures with spotted flanks
and slobbering jowls—that waited hungrily. Such dogs were kept at
many cothouses and at Winstermill too, there to howl and yammer
with great commotion if a nicker was ever near.
The Derehunds began an awful growling as soon as
they saw Rossamünd, all five hunched and threatening, a terrible
gurgling rattle in their throats, pointed ears flat along their
pied necks.
“Hallo there,” Rossamünd tried, and waggled some
stinking offal.
With a jerk one hound gave a savage bawling bark
that sent the rest mad, leaping over each other, back and forth,
crashing against the bars, baying like all wretchedness was
loose.
Rossamünd leaped backward, scrambling and slipping
on grimed cobbles.
Officers, lighters and haubardiers rushed from all
points, some shouting, some soothing the dogs in vain, many
demanding, “What did ye do?”
Some minor officer—a lieutenant—grabbed Rossamünd
hard under the arm and pulled him away. “What are you practicing
at?”
“Nothing, sir!” the young prentice quailed. “I . .
. I just tried to feed them, as ordered.”
“He’s all right, sir,” offered a lighter from the
day-watch. “He was a part of that confustication last night.”
“Ah, cunning beasts,” said a haubardier in obvious
admiration of the hounds, “they can still tell the stink of the
monsters on ye from yester eve.”
A GREATER DEREHUND
“Well, get him out of here,” demanded the
lieutenant. “Find him another task.”
“You had best get back to them harum-scarum ladies,
lad,” the lighter said quietly. “Quick now, before the dogs get
wilder.”
Rossamünd gratefully left the pot and went back to
the northern keep, up the stairs, over the gallery to the temporary
lodgings of the calendars.
Threnody greeted his polite good morning with
little more than a cold stare and silence. Dolours looked as poorly
as she had on the night previous.
“May I offer you a draught mixed with bellpomash,
m’lady?” Rossamünd inquired.
“You most certainly may,” she returned
gratefully.
Rossamünd went quickly to the kitchen and asked
permission of the cook to prepare the restorative. The best he
could do was to mix it with saloop and add some lordia too, but
Dolours did not fuss. She drank it down and returned the bowl to
him with a smile.
“My thanks to you. We will be ready
presently.”
He waited a goodly while by the door as the
calendars prepared to leave.
Charllette the pistoleer was to stay behind and
take a post-lentum back east by way of the Roughmarch, the
threwdish gap through the Tumblesloe Heap. She would return to the
Lady Vey and the stronghold of the calendars, bearing with her
dispatches and the bodies of the two dead. Dolours,Threnody and the
wounded dancer Pandomë, who lay unconscious on a bier with her face
and head entirely bandaged, were to go west to Winstermill. Despite
the bellpomash brew, the bane still showed the strain of her malady
and Rossamünd asked after her health once more.
“Why, I thank you, young lighter,” Dolours replied.
“Truly I would not have set out so ill had not the need been
pressing. You understand the life of service, I am sure.”
Rossamünd nodded wholeheartedly. “I shall recommend
you to our physician when we return, m’lady. They say there’s
nothing he can’t mend.”
Dolours smiled and Threnody frowned.
When all was ready the small party set out in
pouring rain—fighting weather, Europe would have called it.
For a moment Rossamünd wondered where the terrible fulgar might be.
Was she still in Sinster—that city famous for its transmogrifying
surgeons, the makers of lahzars—to be mended after the near-fatal
spasming of her artificial fulgar’s organs? Would she soon return,
as she had promised, to see how he was getting on? A quiet ache set
in his gall: despite his abhorrence of her trade—at her
indiscriminate killing—he was actually missing the teratologist.
After all, she had rescued him from that scurrilous rogue
Poundinch.
Instead of an ox dray, the calendars traveled easy
in a small covered curricle drawn by two sturdy donkeys. These were
led by a laconic leer Rossamünd had never properly met but knew
from the milling of rumor and reputation to be Mister Clement. The
fellow confirmed this with a sour introduction to the calendars,
giving them all a dour look with his weird yellow and olive-drab
eyes, as if the task was a great inconvenience. Before the leer put
on his sthenicon Rossamünd marveled at his wrong-colored eyes, so
different from Sebastipole’s. For Clement was a laggard, like
Licurius, better able to spy things hidden in shadows and darkness
and nooks than a falseman, but less capable of spotting lies. His
biologue in place, the leer took them out on the road. He talked
little, instead bending all his energy to searching ahead and aside
for the evidences of a monster.
After his experience at the strangling hands of
Licurius, Rossamünd walked a little uneasily beside Clement.
Exposed to the foul weather and equally silent, the young prentice
was nevertheless grateful to have the leer’s senses to forewarn
them. That at least was a genuine comfort.
The calendars themselves also proved ill-disposed
to speak, and the whole journey from cothouse to manse was
accomplished in near silence.
They traveled back through the Briarywood, back
through its hinting threwd, passing the scene of last night’s
violence. Despite a wet day, stains of spilled blood still showed
black in the dirt of the road. Under a heavy guard of haubardiers,
with the chortling morning chorus of birds making light of the
grisly work, a toiling fatigue party from Wellnigh House’s
day-watch struggled to build and light a pyre of the fallen nickers
and dead horses. The bodies of slain monsters needed to be disposed
of promptly, for it was held that, left to rot, a nicker’s corpse
always attracted more of the living kind.
Walking through the Harrowmath, Rossamund started
and stared at every rustle in the high grass. The rain increased
and his thrice-high filled with water, which spilled inconveniently
whenever he moved his head.
With each lamp they passed he felt a steady urgency
to wind out the bloom, even though it was day. He had been in
lessons (Readings on Our Mandate and Matter with Mister Humbert) in
which the prentices were belabored with the notion that the Conduit
Vermis was the spine about which many towns and villages grew; that
the road allowed these towns to be knit as more than just remote
settlements; that it was for the lamplighters to toil and keep the
Wormway clear; that if they did not, then the whole of civilization
might fail and fall to rapid ruin. To light the lamps meant that
the kingdoms of humankind could sleep well that night. Every lamp
they passed was a memorial to him of this heavy responsibility. He
sighed, letting his fodicar drag in the soupy slick that filmed the
hard-packed clay of the revered road.
“Lift your lantern-crook, boy!” came the rough
command of the leer, and the young prentice obeyed with an
unthinking start. Shrugging his shoulders against the wet,
Rossamünd pushed on. Between the silence of the calendars, the
taciturn concentration of Clement, and the broad, brooding
Harrowmath, he lamented how different life might be as a vinegaroon
or—he wondered for a moment—even as Europe’s factotum.