19
BILLETING DAY
fetchman also fetcher, bag-and-bones man,
ashcarter or thew-thief (“strength-stealer”). Someone who carries
the bodies of the fallen from the field of battle, taking them to
the manouvra—or field hospital. Despite their necessary and
extremely helpful labors, fetchmen are often resented by pediteers
as somehow responsible for the deaths of the wounded comrades they
take who often die later of their injuries. Indeed, they are
regarded as harbingers of death, sapping their own side of
strength, and as such are kept out of sight till they are
needed.
DESPITE the dramatic events, many of the
lantern-sticks were largely unperturbed by the Marshal’s departure.
Grindrod and Benedict did their utmost to preserve the routine.The
next day the prentices had just completed the usual afternoon
reading on Our Mandate and Matter with Seltzerman Humbert when
Benedict hustled into the lectury declaring in amazement, “They’re
holding Billeting Day early!”
Almost the moment these words were out, the
grandiose figure of the Master-of-Clerks, the Marshal-Subrogat
himself, appeared at the lectury door, gracing them all with his
presence. He held his chin at a dignified tilt. As always, the man
was served by his ubiquitous retinue: Laudibus Pile; Witherscrawl,
and now Fleugh the under-clerk; the master-surveyor with diagrams
of the manse permanently gripped under his arm; and two troubardier
foot-guards.With them also came a lanky, frightening-looking fellow
dressed all in lustrous black: heavy boots, black galliskins over
tight leggings, black satin longshanks. His trunk was swathed in a
sash of sturdy proofed silk, neck thickly wrapped in a long woolen
scarf yet—most oddly—his chest and shoulders and arms were bare,
despite the aching chill, showing too-pale against all the black.
His head was bald, and a thin dark arrow pointed up his face from
chin to absent hairline, its tines splaying out over each brow. He
was a wit. More disconcerting still was that his eyes were
completely black—no white orbs, just glistening dark.This was some
strange trick of chemistry Rossamünd had not heard of.The
combination of this blank, pitch-dark stare with Pile’s snide,
parti-hued gaze stilled the whole room as they moved within.
With a thump of determined footfalls Grindrod
appeared behind them all, muttering to himself, his face screwed up
in silent invective. “Sit” was all he said.
The prentices obeyed with meek alacrity.When all
shuffling and snuffling ceased, the Master-of-Clerks paced before
them, hands behind his back, puckering his lips and squinting at
the platoon as if shrewdly appraising them all.
“Brave prentices,” he declaimed, “you have worked
at your practicing with admirable zeal and laudable facility. Fully
confident in your fitness, I am convinced you are ready for full,
glorious service as Emperor’s lighters, and have decided it timely
for you to be granted your billets and to be sent promptly to
them.”
THE BLACK-EYED WIT
That had most of the prentices scratching their
heads, pained frowns of lugubrious thought creasing several brows.
Does that mean it’s Billeting Day or what?
How would he know what the state of our fitness
for service is? was the spin of Rossamünd’s own thinking. He
has naught to do with us!
With a harsh, self-conscious throat-clearing,
Grindrod stood forward, clearly struggling to contain his temper.
“Sounds an admirable conclusion, sir, but the lantern-sticks bain’t
ready for the work. Ye let a half-trained lad out on the road by
himself and ye might as well toss ’im straight to the
fetchman!”
“Pshaw! I’ll not have your womanish obstructions,
Lamplighter-Sergeant-of-Prentices.” The Master-of-Clerks enunciated
Grindrod’s full title in the manner of a put-down. “They are
required out on that road to make up for the appalling losses
incurred under my predecessor.”
The Lamplighter-Sergeant went purple with indignant
rage, but the Master-of-Clerks carried on, not allowing the man an
opportunity to press any further dissent.
“Staffing at the cothouses must be restocked. We
have twenty-one—no, twenty-two”—he corrected himself with an
enigmatic look to Threnody, sitting straightbacked at the front of
the room—“hale souls trained in the lampsman’s labors, and as ready
as anyone can be, surely, to wind a simple glowing weed in and out
its chamber. It is a terrible waste of a resource and one I have
decided can be better employed filling these gaps on the road than
lolling about here being taught the same thing over and over. It is
not difficult work, Sergeant. If they have not come to grips with
the task by now, I fail to see how another month will make it
so.”
“Another month is all the difference, sir!”
Grindrod glowered. “They’re bare-breeched bantlings who set to
whimperin’ at the slightest speak of bogles! Ye should be hiring
those blighted sell-swords bivouacked outside the Nook, or get them
lardy magnates in the Placidine itself to spare a platoon or two of
their blighted domesticars! Either way, sir, trained, professional
men-at-arms used to the rigors of war. Ye might not know, sir,
hidin’ behind yer ledgers and quill pots, that it’s war out upon
the road, sir, and it’s we lowly lighters who are in the
van!”
The Master-of-Clerks bridled for a moment and then,
with admirable equanimity, said soothingly, “I’m sure you’re a
fellow who knows his business well enough when teaching a poor lad
his first clues, but it now falls to me to choose their best uses.
That is to be the end of it, Lamplighter-Sergeant—I do not want to
be put in the position of having to take you in firmer hand.
Indexer Witherscrawl,” he said, dismissing Grindrod with a turn of
his gorgeously bewigged head, “read the tally if you please.”
The sour indexer stepped forward, glared at the
prentices—at every single one—and especially at Threnody. “Harkee,
ye little scrubs! Here is the Roll of Billets, of who will go to
where and when they will leave. Listen well—I shall tell this only
the once!”
What! The prentices could not quite believe
this: they were to be denied the full honors of a beautiful and
especial ceremony. There were supposed to be martial musics; the
whole manse was meant to turn out in respect at the boys’ success
in prenticing and their coming into full rank as lampsmen. A
susurrus of deep displeasure stirred about the boys.
Grindrod did nothing to quell them, simply folding
his arms. In fact, he showed open pride in the prentices’ muttering
rebellion.
“I said, quiet!” Witherscrawl shouted, and a
foot-guard rapped the floor with the shaft end of his poleax, its
cracking report startling the whole room to dumbness.
With a foul sneer, the indexer raised a tall, thin
ledger close to his face and from it began to read out names in
letter-fall order: Arabis to go to Cothallow, Childebert to
Sparrowstall, Egadis to Tumblesloe Cot just beyond the Roughmarch,
and so on.
Attention focused.
“Mole to Ashenstall . . .”
Onion Mole went white with dismay.The other
prentices winced, Rossamünd with them. A long way east, Ashenstall
was one of the harder billets on the road, isolated and with few
vigil-day rests.
Apprehension grew. They could not assume only the
kinder billets would be given.
“Wheede to Mirthalt . . . ,” droned the indexer,
“Wrangle to . . . Bitterbolt . . .”
With a chill, Rossamünd knew his name was next,
languishing at the end of the lists along with Threnody’s . .
.
“Bookchild to Wormstool . . .”
. . . and this chill became a frigid blank.
Some of the other prentices gasped.
Wormstool!
This was the last—the very last—cothouse on the
Wormway, well east of Ashenstall, with only the grim Imperial
bastion of Haltmire between it and the Ichormeer. Built at the
“ignoble end of the road,” Wormstool was no place for newly
promoted prentice-lampsmen. Situated too near the sodden fringe of
the dread swamp, it was held as one of the toughest billets of all.
Only those who volunteered ever went there, yet here he was, a mere
prentice, being sent. The Ichormeer had once been just a
frightful fable to him. Now Rossamünd was going to live and work as
a neighbor to its very borders, where all the bogles and the vilest
hugger-muggers that ever dragged themselves from putrid mud haunted
and harried. Absorbed in his shocked thoughts at this revelation,
he did not hear where Threnody had been sent.
Witherscrawl finished his recitation.
The Master-of-Clerks presented himself again. “I
will be wanting you all to your billets as soon as can be done.
With time to travel in consideration, those farther out will leave
sooner. Therefore those prentices stationed farthest away will be
leaving on the first post of tomorrow morn. Well done to you all,
my fine fellows—you are now all full lampsmen!”
Confused and silent, the prentices were dismissed
and that was that: Billeting Day—such as it had been—was over, an
insulting sham.
The Master-of-Clerks left without any further
acknowledgment, taking his “tail” with him. Grindrod followed, and
an angry, muttered conference could be heard out in the hallway,
terminating suddenly with the Master-of-Clerks’ high clear voice
saying, “Cease your querulous bickerings, Sergeant-lighter! It will
be as I have decided it. They have been sent where needed. If you
are so concerned for the children, then get back to them and make
certain they are ready for their great adventure. Good day!”
At first Rossamünd’s fellows were bemused. As the
day progressed most were reconciled with their early promotions and
many proved pleased with their billets, however untimely and
however tawdrily they had been portioned. At lale—held indoors
owing to inclement weather—they buzzed and boasted excitedly to
each other about the various merits of their new posts, those
billeted at the same cothouse gathering together in excited twos or
threes. Every lad congratulated the others for their good fortune
and the 7q extra they would all receive each month now that they
were lampsmen 3rd class. For Onion Mole and even more so for
Rossamünd there was baffled commiseration: he was the only prentice
to be billeted at the ignoble end of the road.
“Why are they sending you so far, Rosey boy?” asked
Arabis, still smiling about his prime posting at Cothallow, one of
the smartest cothouses on the road.
Hands raised, Rossamünd shrugged.
“I reckon you’ll be going tomorrow morning, then?”
Pillow wondered aloud.
“It’s a handy thing ye’ve had practice with yer
potives.” Smellgrove patted him on the back.
“Aye.” Wheede grinned. “The baskets will have to
watch they don’t get a pud full of bothersalts.”
Rossamünd ducked his head, grateful for their
fumbling encouragements.
Threnody had guzzled her saloop and was rising to
leave.
“Where are you going?” he asked her quickly.
“Out from here,” she answered flatly.
“Where are you billeted?”
“Didn’t you hear?” she asked tartly. “I’m going to
Dovecote Bolt. That Odious Podious thinks he is such a funny
fellow—told me my mother would appreciate me being so close.”
“We’ll be billet-mates!” cried Plod happily.
“Oh, hazzah,” Threnody replied with a wry twist of
her mouth, and departed.
For the rest of the day, as Benedict strove, in
Grindrod’s absence, to keep the animated prentices in line,
Rossamünd’s mind was a hasty turning of half thoughts and unhappy
conclusions. He was leaving—packed off posthaste to the worst
billet in the land. Most likely he was leaving for good, to die at
the hands of some ravenous nicker fresh plucked from the ooze. He
had to tell Numps—just as Mister Sebastipole had done—that he might
not see the glimner for a long time. Once again, mains became the
prentice’s chance to venture out. When the meal came around he took
only a hard loaf of pong to chew “on the foot” and hastened to the
lantern store.
As he went to leave the mess hall, he passed
Threnody, back from making her treacle in the kitchens. She
snatched at his arm. “I must talk with you,” she hissed.
Rossamünd wrenched free. “Not now, Threnody. I must
visit Numps to tell him I’m going,” he insisted in return.
She glowered at him. “What do you have to do that
is more important than me? I have things to tell you—a
surprise.”
“Truly, Threnody, it must wait,” he declared,
pulling his arm free of her and dashing off, leaving her stunned
and scowling.
In the early night he ran down to the Low Gutter.
The sweet smell of rain-washed air—the promise of showers—was
blowing up from the southeast. Passing through Door 143 just as
water began to fall, Rossamünd emerged from the shelves as his
ready, if somewhat forced, smile of friendliness became a puzzled
grimace. Numps was not in his usual seat by the glow of the
postless great-lamp and the never diminishing pile of panes. Nor
was he down the next aisle of shelves getting mineral fluids or
other such things for cleaning stubborn crust.
“Mister Numps?” he called.
The rain a-hammered on the roof.
Ringing ears.
Nothing.
“Mister Numps?” He turned slowly by the glimner’s
empty seat, hoping the fellow might just shuffle out from behind a
barrel or stack of lantern-windows. Horrid thoughts of some
frightful crisis began to intrude into Rossamünd’s imagination, yet
there was no evidence of trouble. Rossamünd searched down every
aisle and behind any pile he could see: no Numps. Destroying his
bloom is one thing, but surely he is too unimportant to be hurt or
carried off? Rossamünd’s mind cogged. No one could be
bothered, even if they did remember him. He thought of
the undercroft and the old bloom baths. Surely not there? It’s
been boarded up and blocked . . . This was the only alternative
he knew.
Careful not to attract attention with any untoward
huff or hustle, the prentice slipped through the mazelike
interstices between the work buildings, trying to find the path
Numps had taken him that one wet day.Twice he thought he had got
himself irrevocably lost, yet, though seen only once, the
particular features of the twisting route were quickly familiar
again and Rossamünd was soon dashing down the tunnel-like alley. He
skidded into the discarded square and its gurgling drains,
startling a sparrow that had been bobbing by the sunken grate.The
entrance to the undercroft had indeed been sealed with boards, but
these had been pulled away and collected in a tidy stack by the
grate. Next to this stack sat an equally orderly collection of the
bolts used to pin the boards in place, partly piled on top of a
soiled official ordinance bill stringently demanding everyone to go
away in painfully formal terms. Kneeling in the wet, the prentice
leaned over the grate and tried to reach under as he had observed
Numps do, to feel about for some kind of catch or spring or other
lever.
“Mister Numps!” he called, hoarse and wary, down
the hole while he searched. “Mister Numps!” Nothing even vaguely
catch or latchlike presented itself to his questing fingers.
“Oh hallo, Mister Rossamünd.” The soft voice of the
glimner echoed strangely from below, giving Rossamünd a fright. “I
reckoned you were a guardsman fellow come to take my bloom
again.”
“Mister Numps!” With rushing relief,
Rossamünd thought he could just spot the pale oval of Numps’
upturned face in the dark of the subterranean stair. “Are you safe?
Are you hurt again?”
“Oh dear . . . I don’t want to be found by the
Master-Clerker . . . ,” the glimner quavered. “I didn’t want to be
found without Mister ’Pole here.”
Rossamünd smiled sadly. How he wished he could
provide the glimner a greater sense of safety. Instead he had
things to tell that he knew would be hard for the poor man.
“I have to go too, Mister Numps,” he began.
“They’re sending me away . . .”
“Oh . . . oh dear . . .” Numps sighed, sounding
bewildered. He must have climbed higher in his distress, for his
pallid face became closer. “Numps’ friends all going . . . ”
“The Master-of-Clerks called Billeting Day today,”
Rossamünd confirmed, “and I am leaving to my cothouse—and there’s
nothing I can do about it.”
“Tell Mister ’Pole—he won’t let you be sent away.
Even poor old limpling-head Numps knows it’s too soon for prentices
to go a-working. Write Mister ’Pole, he won’t let you go—I have his
address, see . . .” Numps rummaged about in pockets.
“I will . . . I will write him a letter,” said
Rossamünd. “Maybe he can help us, even from the Considine. Things
are so bad with his and the Marshal’s leaving. You should stay
hiding if you can, Mister Numps—the fortress is downside up. Will
you be able to eat and all?”
“Ah, Mister Rossamünd.” Numps tapped his brow.
“There are many things Numps knows that people don’t think he
knows. There is food a-plenty if you go to the right places.” The
glimner was oddly calm. “Besides, Cinnamon’s friends are watching
over Numps-a-hiding so you can reckon me as safe.”
Rossamünd thought of the sparrow he had startled,
pecking at the grate, and smiled. He did not know what help these
little agents of the Duke of Sparrows might be—if that was indeed
what they were.What did that kind of attention mean? He wanted to
believe that goodly urchin-lords existed, that Numps was well
looked out for, but the old common suspicions persisted.
A distant rataplan of the drums meant that mains
was at an end and confinations about to begin.
“I must go, Mister Numps. We will both write to
Mister Sebastipole, yes?”
“Yes.”
“And you’ll stay safe and secret, yes?”
“Yes.”
Rossamünd wanted to hug the glimner, but shyness
and the grate prevented him. Instead he just stared into Numps’
melancholy eyes, and the man stared back.
“Good-bye!” The prentice reluctantly turned to
leave.
“Good-bye, Mister Rossamünd,” he heard the glimner
call behind him. “Numps won’t forget his new old friend—don’t you
forget him . . .”
“Never, Mister Numps!”
Heavy with fear for the glimner’s fate, Rossamünd
ran back to the manse. For the rest of confinations he packed,
stowed all he had ever possessed and prepared himself for leaving
at first light. In the last few moments before douse-lanterns he
lay on his cot and with his stylus hastily scratched out a letter
on a blank page torn from the back of the peregrinat.
To Mister Sebastipole
Lamplighter’s Agent & Falseman to the
Lamplighter-Marshal of Winstermill
Epistra Scuthae
The Considine
The Patricine
2nd Heimio HIR 1601
Dear Mister Sebastipole,
I have no certainty this will make its way to you,
but I try anyway.
I write to you, Mister Sebastipole, on the last
night of my prenticing in Winstermill, for since you left with the
Marshal, the Master-of-Clerks has taken all in hand and declared
Billeting Day early. Tomorrow I travel to the cothouse of
Wormstool. But it is not this that troubles me. It is rather Mister
Numps that I am worried for.The Master-of-Clerks (he calls himself
the Marshal-Subrogat now) destroyed Mister Numps’ bloom (the stuff
he was growing down in the deserted undercroft) the very day you
departed, and Mister Numps (as I am sure you can well imagine) was
sorely troubled. I managed to save a little part of it, but the
baths are shattered and most of the bloom is dead. I fear for
Mister Numps, that he isn’t safe with only the good Doctor Crispus
to watch out for him.Would there be any way you can help him, or
even get him away from the manse?
He thought of adding:
The last I saw of him he still hid where his bloom
was once grown.
. . . but realized the letter might be intercepted
and read by unfriendly eyes and so he left it out. Instead he
quickly completed the letter.
I hope you and the Lamplighter-Marshal fare well,
and that all unjust things are righted soon.
Rossamünd Bookchild,
Lampsman 3rd Class
HIHF Winstermill
Conduit Vermis
Sulk End
Lampsman 3rd Class
HIHF Winstermill
Conduit Vermis
Sulk End