Chapter 14
During dinner, Mr. Bennet scarcely
spoke at all; but when the servants were withdrawn, he thought it
time to have some conversation with his guest, and therefore
started a subject in which he expected him to shine, by observing
that he seemed very fortunate in his patroness. Lady Catherine de
Bourgh's attention to his wishes, and consideration for his
comfort, appeared very remarkable. Mr. Bennet could not have chosen
better. Mr. Collins was eloquent in her praise. The subject
elevated him to more than usual solemnity of manner, and with a
most important aspect he protested that "he had never in his life
witnessed such behaviour in a person of rank— such affability and
condescension, as he had himself experienced from Lady Catherine.
She had been graciously pleased to approve of both of the
discourses which he had already had the honour of preaching before
her. She had also asked him twice to dine at Rosings, and had sent
for him only the Saturday before, to make up her pool of quadrille
in the evening. Lady Catherine was reckoned proud by many people he
knew, but he had never seen anything but
affability in her. She had always spoken to him as she would to any
other gentleman; she made not the smallest objection to his joining
in the society of the neighbourhood nor to his leaving the parish
occasionally for a week or two, to visit his relations. She had
even condescended to advise him to marry as soon as he could,
provided he chose with discretion; and had once paid him a visit in
his humble parsonage, where she had perfectly approved all the
alterations he had been making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest
some herself— some shelves in the closet upstairs."
"That is all very proper and civil, I am sure," said Mrs. Bennet,
"and I dare say she is a very agreeable woman. It is a pity that
great ladies in general are not more like her. Does she live near
you, sir?" "The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated
only by a lane from Rosings Park, her ladyship's residence." "I
think you said she was a widow, sir? Has she any family?" "She has
only one daughter, the heiress of Rosings, and of very extensive
property." "Ah!" said Mrs. Bennet, shaking her head, "then she is
better off than many girls. And what sort of young lady is she? Is
she handsome?" "She is a most charming young lady indeed. Lady
Catherine herself says that, in point of true beauty, Miss de
Bourgh is far superior to the handsomest of her sex, because there
is that in her features which marks the young lady of distinguished
birth. She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution, which has
prevented her from making that progress in many accomplishments
which she could not have otherwise failed of, as I am informed by
the lady who superintended her education, and who still resides
with them. But she is perfectly amiable, and often condescends to
drive by my humble abode in her little phaeton and ponies." "Has
she been presented? I do not remember her name among the ladies at
court." "Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her
being in town; and by that means, as I told Lady Catherine one day,
has deprived the British court of its brightest ornaments. Her
ladyship seemed pleased with the idea; and you may imagine that I
am happy on every occasion to offer those little delicate
compliments which are always acceptable to ladies. I have more than
once observed to Lady Catherine, that her charming daughter seemed
born to be a duchess, and that the most elevated rank, instead of
giving her consequence, would be adorned by her. These are the kind
of little things which please her ladyship, and it is a sort of
attention which I conceive myself peculiarly bound to pay." "You
judge very properly," said Mr. Bennet, "and it is happy for you
that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask
whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the
moment, or are the result of previous study?" "They arise chiefly
from what is passing at the time, and though I sometimes amuse
myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant
compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish
to give them as unstudied an air as possible." Mr. Bennet's
expectations were fully answered. His cousin was as absurd as he
had hoped, and he listened to him with the keenest enjoyment,
maintaining at the same time the most resolute composure of
countenance, and, except in an occasional glance at Elizabeth,
requiring no partner in his pleasure. By tea-time, however, the
dose had been enough, and Mr. Bennet was glad to take his guest
into the drawing-room again, and, when tea was over, glad to invite
him to read aloud to the ladies. Mr. Collins readily assented, and
a book was produced; but, on beholding it (for everything announced
it to be from a circulating library), he started back, and begging
pardon, protested that he never read novels. Kitty stared at him,
and Lydia exclaimed. Other books were produced, and after some
deliberation he chose Fordyce's Sermons. Lydia gaped as he opened
the volume, and before he had, with very monotonous solemnity, read
three pages, she interrupted him with: "Do you know, mamma, that my
uncle Phillips talks of turning away Richard; and if he does,
Colonel Forster will hire him. My aunt told me so herself on
Saturday. I shall walk to Meryton to-morrow to hear more about it,
and to ask when Mr. Denny comes back from town." Lydia was bid by
her two eldest sisters to hold her tongue; but Mr. Collins, much
offended, laid aside his book, and said: "I have often observed how
little young ladies are interested by books of a serious stamp,
though written solely for their benefit. It amazes me, I confess;
for, certainly, there can be nothing so advantageous to them as
instruction. But I will no longer importune my young cousin." Then
turning to Mr. Bennet, he offered himself as his antagonist at
backgammon. Mr. Bennet accepted the challenge, observing that he
acted very wisely in leaving the girls to their own trifling
amusements. Mrs. Bennet and her daughters apologised most civilly
for Lydia's interruption, and promised that it should not occur
again, if he would resume his book; but Mr. Collins, after assuring
them that he bore his young cousin no ill-will, and should never
resent her behaviour as any affront, seated himself at another
table with Mr. Bennet, and prepared for backgammon.