Chapter 54
As soon as they were gone, Elizabeth walked out to recover her
spirits; or in other words, to dwell without interruption on those
subjects that must deaden them more. Mr. Darcy's behaviour
astonished and vexed her. "Why, if he came only to be silent,
grave, and indifferent," said she, "did he come at all?" She could
settle it in no way that gave her pleasure. "He could be still
amiable, still pleasing, to my uncle and aunt, when he was in town;
and why not to me? If he fears me, why come hither? If he no longer
cares for me, why silent? Teazing, teazing, man! I will think no
more about him." Her resolution was for a short time involuntarily
kept by the approach of her sister, who joined her with a cheerful
look, which shewed her better satisfied with their visitors, than
Elizabeth. "Now," said she, "that this first meeting is over, I
feel perfectly easy. I know my own strength, and I shall never be
embarrassed again by his coming. I am glad he dines here on
Tuesday. It will then be publicly seen that, on both sides, we meet
only as common and indifferent acquaintance." "Yes, very
indifferent indeed," said Elizabeth, laughingly. "Oh, Jane, take
care." "My dear Lizzy, you cannot think me so weak, as to be in
danger now?" "I think you are in very great danger of making him as
much in love with you as ever." They did not see the gentlemen
again till Tuesday; and Mrs. Bennet, in the meanwhile, was giving
way to all the happy schemes, which the good humour and common
politeness of Bingley, in half an hour's visit, had revived. On
Tuesday there was a large party assembled at Longbourn; and the two
who were most anxiously expected, to the credit of their
punctuality as sportsmen, were in very good time. When they
repaired to the dining-room, Elizabeth eagerly watched to see
whether Bingley would take the place, which, in all their former
parties, had belonged to him, by her sister. Her prudent mother,
occupied by the same ideas, forbore to invite him to sit by
herself. On entering the room, he seemed to hesitate; but Jane
happened to look round, and happened to smile: it was decided. He
placed himself by her. Elizabeth, with a triumphant sensation,
looked towards his friend. He bore it with noble indifference, and
she would have imagined that Bingley had received his sanction to
be happy, had she not seen his eyes likewise turned towards Mr.
Darcy, with an expression of half-laughing alarm. His behaviour to
her sister was such, during dinner time, as shewed an admiration of
her, which, though more guarded than formerly, persuaded Elizabeth,
that if left wholly to himself, Jane's happiness, and his own,
would be speedily secured. Though she dared not depend upon the
consequence, she yet received pleasure from observing his
behaviour. It gave her all the animation that her spirits could
boast; for she was in no cheerful humour. Mr. Darcy was almost as
far from her as the table could divide them. He was on one side of
her mother. She knew how little such a situation would give
pleasure to either, or make either appear to advantage. She was not
near enough to hear any of their discourse, but she could see how
seldom they spoke to each other, and how formal and cold was their
manner whenever they did. Her mother's ungraciousness, made the
sense of what they owed him more painful to Elizabeth's mind; and
she would, at times, have given any thing to be privileged to tell
him that his kindness was neither unknown nor unfelt by the whole
of the family. She was in hopes that the evening would afford some
opportunity of bringing them together; that the whole of the visit
would not pass away without enabling them to enter into something
more of conversation than the mere ceremonious salutation attending
his entrance. Anxious and uneasy, the period which passed in the
drawing-room, before the gentlemen came, was wearisome and dull to
a degree that almost made her uncivil. She looked forward to their
entrance as the point on which all her chance of pleasure for the
evening must depend. "If he does not come to me, then," said she,
"I shall give him up for ever." The gentlemen came; and she thought
he looked as if he would have answered her hopes; but, alas! the
ladies had crowded round the table, where Miss Bennet was making
tea, and Elizabeth pouring out the coffee, in so close a
confederacy that there was not a single vacancy near her which
would admit of a chair. And on the gentlemen's approaching, one of
the girls moved closer to her than ever, and said, in a whisper,
"The men shan't come and part us, I am determined. We want none of
them; do we?" Darcy had walked away to another part of the room.
She followed him with her eyes, envied every one to whom he spoke,
had scarcely patience enough to help anybody to coffee; and then
was enraged against herself for being so silly! "A man who has once
been refused! How could I ever be foolish enough to expect a
renewal of his love? Is there one among the sex, who would not
protest against such a weakness as a second proposal to the same
woman? There is no indignity so abhorrent to their feelings!" She
was a little revived, however, by his bringing back his coffee cup
himself; and she seized the opportunity of saying, "Is your sister
at Pemberley still?" "Yes, she will remain there till Christmas."
"And quite alone? Have all her friends left her?" "Mrs. Annesley is
with her. The others have been gone on to Scarborough, these three
weeks." She could think of nothing more to say; but if he wished to
converse with her, he might have better success. He stood by her,
however, for some minutes, in silence; and, at last, on the young
lady's whispering to Elizabeth again, he walked away. When the
tea-things were removed, and the card tables placed, the ladies all
rose, and Elizabeth was then hoping to be soon joined by him, when
all her views were overthrown by seeing him fall a victim to her
mother's rapacity for whist players, and in a few moments after
seated with the rest of the party. She now lost every expectation
of pleasure. They were confined for the evening at different
tables, and she had nothing to hope, but that his eyes were so
often turned towards her side of the room, as to make him play as
unsuccessfully as herself. Mrs. Bennet had designed to keep the two
Netherfield gentlemen to supper; but their carriage was unluckily
ordered before any of the others, and she had no opportunity of
detaining them. "Well girls," said she, as soon as they were left
to themselves, "What say you to the day? I think every thing has
passed off uncommonly well, I assure you. The dinner was as well
dressed as any I ever saw. The venison was roasted to a turn — and
everybody said they never saw so fat a haunch. The soup was fifty
times better than what we had at the Lucases' last week; and even
Mr. Darcy acknowledged, that the partridges were remarkably well
done; and I suppose he has two or three French cooks at least. And,
my dear Jane, I never saw you look in greater beauty. Mrs. Long
said so too, for I asked her whether you did not. And what do you
think she said besides? ''Ah! Mrs. Bennet, we shall have her at
Netherfield at last.'' She did indeed. I do think Mrs. Long is as
good a creature as ever lived — and her nieces are very pretty
behaved girls, and not at all handsome: I like them prodigiously."
Mrs. Bennet, in short, was in very great spirits; she had seen
enough of Bingley's behaviour to Jane, to be convinced that she
would get him at last; and her expectations of advantage to her
family, when in a happy humour, were so far beyond reason, that she
was quite disappointed at not seeing him there again the next day,
to make his proposals. "It has been a very agreeable day," said
Miss Bennet to Elizabeth. "The party seemed so well selected, so
suitable one with the other. I hope we may often meet again."
Elizabeth smiled. "Lizzy, you must not do so. You must not suspect
me. It mortifies me. I assure you that I have now learnt to enjoy
his conversation as an agreeable and sensible young man, without
having a wish beyond it. I am perfectly satisfied, from what his
manners now are, that he never had any design of engaging my
affection. It is only that he is blessed with greater sweetness of
address, and a stronger desire of generally pleasing, than any
other man." "You are very cruel," said her sister, "you will not
let me smile, and are provoking me to it every moment." "How hard
it is in some cases to be believed!" "And how impossible in
others!" "But why should you wish to persuade me that I feel more
than I acknowledge?" "That is a question which I hardly know how to
answer. We all love to instruct, though we can teach only what is
not worth knowing. Forgive me; and if you persist in indifference,
do not make me your confidante."