One down, two to go

Brother Pat seemed to think it was a good run-through. I wasn’t really watching, although I did notice that one of the Year 7 girls came on wearing the wrong costume, but I think that was about it. Most people were hanging around school or meeting up early before opening night. Me? I left school the way I’d arrived, slinking out, grabbing my bike and riding fast all the way home.

After I’d had a shower Mum said I looked better than she had seen me all week. Which was a good thing considering I had some serious spade work to do with Elizabeth about not returning her phone calls. I couldn’t even think about the Freak and Mark.

I tried to tell Mum I was happy to ride to school but this time she wasn’t having it. When we pulled up outside the hall I got myself and my guitar case out of the car. Foolishly, I thought I was safe. She leaned over across the seat and spoke to me out the window.

Will?

Yes, Mum?

I am so very proud of all that you have achieved.

I shrank to the smallest I had shrunk all day. Her eyes were glassy and she had one of those I’m going to cry smiles.

I couldn’t deal with any more scenes or any more praise. If only these people knew what a hypocrite I was. I was only just keeping it together. I knew I had to make a speedy exit before she mentioned the D word.

Thanks, Mum, I mumbled, then I grabbed my stuff and ran.

Mum’s words stayed in my head. What did she mean, achieved? Yeah, I had achieved in hurting people and acting like a cowardly dickhead. And proud? Proud of what? It wasn’t as if I had transformed into bloody Chris! I mean, had she forgotten how I’d gotten into all of this in the first place?

I changed into my muso black and made my way out to the band. The unfeeling, uncaring state that had got me through the day evaporated. My guts started to churn like they do before you have to sit a big exam or play in a soccer final. I walked toward the pit, telling myself to chill out. I looked over at the Freak and watched Mark do his final warm-up and my guts began to churn even more. I sat down, pulled out the guitar and knew that at least for the next three hours I was going to be safe.

I wasn’t the only one on edge. Andrews was too, but considering this was all his doing I didn’t have any sympathy for the bloke. He was onstage throwing instructions with the accuracy and speed of one of those dart players from England.

Everyone should be in their positions!

Offstage and behind those curtains!

Where’s the stage manager? Make sure that the props are where they should be.

You, yes you, get out of the wings, you can be seen!

Right, band, two minutes until we start the overture. For God’s sake, someone give the kid with the clarinet a hand!

OK, the lights are dimming and one-two-three, play …

Brother Pat, on the other hand, looked as laid-back as any jazz player who’d been around the scene for fifty years.

Right, Will, are you ready to go?

Yes, Brother….

I became anonymous in the darkness of the pit. I listened to the geeks start the first bars of the overture and for the first time that night I relaxed. It was nearly always like that with music for me. I knew for the next three hours I was safe, but more importantly I knew it was three hours where I wouldn’t stuff up. It was only when the whole audience stood and clapped and the house lights came on that I came back to reality and realized that the first night was over. There was no way anyone could not be lifted and carried around by the buzz in the room. It was like the kids were Hollywood stars from the amount of applause and whoops and hurrahs they were getting.

The Year 7 geeks were all over themselves with excitement. Brother Patrick was pumping the hands of old boys who were offering their congratulations.

The best one yet! The best one yet! he exclaimed.

I could feel myself being carried away with everyone else. I figured after the last few days I was going to get on and ride for as long as I could. I watched Mark and Elizabeth kiss and hug each other, with Andrews, Brother Pat and Ms. Sefton right in among it. I was overwhelmed by a need to make things right. I watched Mark leave the stage and I followed.