Wednesday-
afternoon detention

Waddlehead had made the fatal mistake of announcing to the whole school that the first combined rehearsals for the musical would take place this afternoon in the St. Andrew’s hall. The school went into a frenzy. It was one of the few occasions when boys actually hung around after the bell and, just coincidentally, outside the entrance to the hall.

The room for detention was diagonally opposite. It looked like they would have to open two more classrooms, so many people turned up. I figured I would have to spend enough of my time over in the hall, so I wasn’t exactly full of the same excitement. Jock, however, who’d been nailed for taking an incident in the woodwork room involving a jigsaw and a junior a little too far, was very excited.

We were outside the H block waiting for the teacher to arrive. Even Chris had decided to hang around before we were called into sixty minutes of torture by lines and silence.

So, boys, who’s on?

It was a Wednesday-afternoon regular, Dion.

Danielli, I think.

Shit!

I knew what he meant. Some detentions could be a laugh depending on what teacher was on. Danielli meant this week was definitely not going to be a laugh. Jock, however, was oblivious to everything except the girl factor.

Come on, mate, you must have seen them!

He hadn’t stopped harassing me since the bell had gone for admin.

You’ve been involved from the start. What were they like?

Jock, I told you they weren’t there.

Come on, Willo, you can’t keep them all to yourself, that’s being selfish. Were there any real hotties? You know, the dancing, wear their hair in a ponytail type.

The what type? The boys cracked up laughing.

I heard that the head of Green House is a real sort.

Who?

Jock ignored the question.

You know, man, when I first found out about your punishment I thought it was slack. I really felt sorry for you, man, but now, when I think about it, it’s not even a punishment.

Yeah right, Jock.

No, think about it. This has the potential to be a major babe fest. The ratio of cool fellas to hot babes would have to be in your favor. You said yourself that the auditions were full of Year Seven geeks.

That was the band, you idiot!

Whatever! He pointed to the other group of St. Andrew’s students who were staying behind on a Wednesday afternoon—except this lot were there voluntarily. As if those nobheads are going to be in with a chance.

Most of us just let Jock crap on; Chris, however, would always arrive at a point where he’d tell him to pull his head in.

Mate, don’t you go to the movies? Don’t you watch people get paid millions for what they do on-screen? They would’ve been the types who were in school musicals.

No way, man. You can’t tell me that Russell Crowe was ever in a puncey school musical.

Yeah, he was. He was in the Coffs Harbour production of The Sound of Music.

Incredulous, Jock scanned the group, looking for support. No way! I don’t believe you. We nodded back at him with fake serious faces. Have you seen him in Gladiator? A bloke like that could never …

There was no way Chris knew whether Russell Crowe was ever in a school musical, but he was enjoying watching Jock’s reaction as much as the rest of us.

Jock refused to change down a gear.

The point I was trying to make was that Willo here could turn the punishment from hell into pick-up palace. And when he does, I want him to spare a moment’s thought for his mates …

What Jock didn’t realize was that his mates were now firmly focused on the arrival of the Lakeside Girls bus, which was making a slow procession up the side entrance.

A nice sensitive guy like myself could get on really well with one of those dancer types. I don’t want one of those arty types, though, they think too much….

Jock was the only St. Andrew’s student in the yard who had missed the bus come to a halt at the hall.

Jock!

No, Willo, you’ve got a—

Just shut up, mate, and have a look!

The bus doors opened. Silence filled the middle quad.

There she is! She’s the one I was talking about, the head of Green House!

The entire occupancy of the quad, including the girls, turned and looked in our direction.

Shut up, mate!

You bloody idiot!

Don’t point, you loser!

We stood captured in the spotlight, victims of the Jock factor. This time a moon was definitely not going to help the situation. I decided the best way to handle it was to turn around and pretend that I wasn’t there.

At that point I heard a familiar Woooooooooooo! fill the quad and the boys started slapping Jock on the back. I turned around to see the backs of the girls as they made their way through the doors of the hall, laughter trailing behind.

You missed it, Willo! Jock’s in love. The head of Green House just blew him a kiss.

OK, boys, that’s me out of here. Chris nodded at Danielli, who was making his way over from his office, detention folder in his hands. Thanks for the show, Jock!

Danielli looked over his extra-large coffee. This must be the first time all year that everybody’s here.

He looked over at the hall and turned.

Any particular reason?

The boys put their heads down. Some grinned.

Well, it’s all right, fellas, I’ll make sure that you’re out of here on the dot of four-thirty. I hear that’s right about the time rehearsals finish up.

Danielli, he was all right really.