This week’s game plan—there is no game plan

When I saw Chris at school on Monday I told him what happened. He cracked up laughing and gave me grief about not coming for a run. It turned out the boys went out for pizza and continued the bonding session. Then I had to put up with Tim and Jock carrying on during bio about how much of a good bloke Mark was.

Not that what Newman did was going to worry me anymore. I’d decided on another game plan for the Elizabeth, Mark and Will triangle … I was buying out completely. It was causing me way too much hassle for absolutely no gain. I wanted my life to go back to normal. It was too much energy and uptightness. I was determined to just turn up at rehearsals, do the band thing, yell at the geeks, save the Freak and go home. It wasn’t as if I was some social reject who needed to make more friends. I didn’t need to get hung up on a girl who didn’t even know I was a part of the cosmos, let alone the human race.

I couldn’t shake the Freak, but he was becoming bearable in an annoying kelpie cross fox terrier puppy type of way. I hadn’t had to save him from any nerd bashing since Wednesday. Brother Pat had insisted I attend the Wednesday band rehearsals instead of detention. He was all fired up about the excellent job I was doing with the geeks, and he carried on about it being unfair not to reward me by canceling detention and allowing me to attend band, and he was going to make sure Waddlehead understood. What could I do, he thought he was doing me a favor.

Anyway, last Wednesday at band practice the geeks raided the Freak’s lunch box. His dad had taken to giving him afternoon tea as well as recess on Wednesdays and the geeks found out about it. I conducted my own investigation and applied some gentle encouragement for the goods to be returned at the next rehearsal. This week was like a food drive, there was so much of it. The Freak invited Brother Pat, any of the other teachers who came by to listen, and the geeks who had taken it in the first place, to have afternoon tea with him. I tried to tell him to leave out the guys who had stolen from him, but he said it didn’t matter. Maybe this kid was one of those Dalai Lama midgets that the Buddhists hadn’t found out about yet. Anyway it turned into a food fest. The Freak was at the center of it and he was stoked. Needless to say his lunch box hadn’t been touched since.

If I was really honest, I liked hanging out with the kid. He didn’t expect anything from me. He was happy and I was happy. I just wished he’d shut up more often.

On Saturday I rode in thinking that it wouldn’t be long before I would have my life back.

Hey, Freak!

Hey, Will!

He wasn’t doing his usual hello dance so I could tell something was up. I looked around quickly for any sign of the geek gang.

What’s up, mate? You’re usually pogoing all around the place at the beginning of rehearsals.

I can’t stay. We have family commitments and Dad thinks it’s important we both go.

I pointed out to him that this was also a commitment but he wouldn’t budge.

I thought of my mum and how family things like that were a big deal.

I know what it’s like, Freak, but your dad wouldn’t have said it was important if it wasn’t, right?

He nodded his head in agreement but still looked pretty tragic.

Cheer up, mate. I’d love to break out of here.

But you’re not me.

He had a point.

So how come you’re here then?

I told Dad it was important I explain why I can’t be here to Brother Patrick and Mr. Andrews.

He paused. I wondered if he’d been given any trouble.

So have you let them know? I’ll walk in with you if you like.

No, I’ve already seen them. I was waiting for you.

Me?

I wanted to let you know we can’t have our breaks together. Sorry, Will.

And the kid was genuinely sorry. That’s why you couldn’t help but like the little guy.

Hey, don’t you worry about me. I’m the one who has to watch your backside, not the other way round. But it’s going to be a really boring day without you.

The Freak started to pogo again.

Really?

Well, yeah, who else am I going to flog all that great food from?

I looked at him quickly; you’ve got to be careful with the Freak.

It was a j—

I know, Will. I can tell when you’re joking now.

Maybe the kid was going to turn out OK.

It looked like I’d have to deal with the love triangle on my own.

And that was more difficult than I thought. As much as I wished the Freak would be struck dumb when we were stuck all day in the pit, he did provide a constant source of distraction. In his absence I spent a lot of time listening to my MP3 player and mucking around with my guitar. And there’s only so many ways you can restring a guitar. By lunchtime I was getting desperate. I was about to bolt to Chris’s, even talking to Brother Pat was looking like a good option, but in the end it didn’t matter. I watched Mark and Elizabeth and some other people go off in Mark’s car. Fine by me. I scoffed Mum’s sandwiches and played really sad songs on my newly tuned, newly restrung guitar.

Brother Pat had to go somewhere after lunch, which meant I had to step in. Conducting meant that everything else went out of my head. The geeks were so full-on about their playing I had to take it halfway seriously. It was a quick finish to a bad day. I packed up as Andrews was doing his usual roundup, grabbed my stuff and bolted.

And then the day got even worse. What the …! I found myself sprawled facedown in a pile of St. Andrew’s festering rubbish—you know, the type that no one ever picks up when the teacher on playground duty asks.

What’s your problem? I began as I removed my guitar case from the two-day-old squashed banana and tried to eyeball the dickhead who had just laid me out. I couldn’t quite make him out but I knew that voice. Bloody Romeo again!

Hey, Will, sorry. I got to my feet and glared at him. He took my guitar case and began to clean it off on the grass. I was keen to get out of there, if you know what I mean.

I tried to get rid of my pissed-off tone but it didn’t work.

Yeah, right. Don’t worry about it, Mark. I’m used to ending up in shit. In fact I’m pretty good at it. You seem like you’re in a hurry, going anywhere special?

I’ve got an Economics assessment due tomorrow and I haven’t even started yet.

Well, if he was that bloody worried, he should have worked during lunchtime and not gone off somewhere with Elizabeth, shouldn’t he! He offered me my guitar case, which now had banana and grass stuck all over it.

Thanks. There was no point even trying to hide the sarcasm.

He just stood there looking uncomfortable. Not so smooth now, Romeo!

Look, I’m driving, can I give you a lift home? Apology and all that?

I weighed up whether I was going to get more pissed off by riding home or by spending time with Mark. It took about an eighth of a second to decide. Call me a hypocrite but he owed me. The bike could have another school sleepover.

That’d be good.

You don’t live thirty k’s away, do you?

I was tempted to say yes and get him to drop me at a mate’s place just to make him suffer, but even I thought that was pretty sad.

About fifteen minutes by car. Down near the BP servo.

I think I know the one.

We arrived at an old Holden. I’m pretty sure it was an FJ or the next one out; whatever it was it was pretty cool. I had to give him that.

Nice car.

Thanks.

I bought it in Melbourne. Well, Dad did.

Yeah, Chris said you were from there.

Shit, did Chris tell me that or did I pick it up from Elizabeth and him in that conversation I wasn’t meant to hear? I tried to move on quickly.

How long have you been in Sydney?

We moved up at the end of last year.

Big difference?

Yeah, I suppose it is. I don’t know, I haven’t really seen a lot of it. It’s been school and around here mainly with the footy boys. St. Andrew’s is different to the last school I was at. Girls make a real difference.

I bet they do.

Mark grinned at me. No, I mean everybody just acts more normal, more natural.

Could you imagine Jock and Tim in a coed school? They couldn’t cope.

But that’s just it. They wouldn’t stand a chance. The girls would pull them into line straightaway. Most of the blokes don’t carry on with all that tough-man stuff because if they do there’s always someone to tell them to pull their head in.

St. Andrew’s could do with a little more of that, just ask the Freak.

So how come you had to leave in your final year—that would be pretty hard, wouldn’t it?

Yep … but there was no way around it. Dad was retrenched and got this great payout but he … couldn’t get another job. He’s pretty old and I’m the youngest. He started stressing about everything: Mum, retirement, me, uni.

He reached over to the glove box, opened it and rummaged around until he found a cigarette.

Don’t tell the boys, they’d give me shit on the field. I just started again, but not for good. He took a drag. I watched Dad turn from a hotshot businessman to this major stress-head. That went on for six months and then the job in Sydney came up. It was Mum and me who convinced him to take it. I could put up with leaving more than I could see Dad crack up. He didn’t say anything but I reckon he bought the car to say thanks.

That would suck. I changed the subject. So you know what you want to do next year?

As soon as I asked I knew that he would. He was just one of those guys.

Law at ANU.

That’d be right.

He stumped out the cigarette after three drags. What about you?

I figure I’ve got at least another year and a half before I have to decide. Right now, I’m pretty happy just cruising.

Let him know I don’t need to overachieve to be a success.

Right. So is the musical going on the CV?

Well, at least I didn’t volunteer to be involved! Sarcastic wanker!

I hear your audition was pretty special.

I grinned in spite of myself. Jock and Tim can never keep their mouths closed.

Actually, it wasn’t them who told me.

That shut me up.

What do you mean?

He looked over at me and grinned.

Come on, mate, not funny! Just tell me.

Who do you reckon?

I wouldn’t have asked if I knew, would I?

He paused for two more seconds. I was over the game.

Elizabeth.

He turned his head slightly to watch my reaction. My whole body snapped frozen vegetable shut.

Elizabeth?

He looked at me as if I was stupid.

Yeah, you know, the one I play opposite, the one I have to kiss.

How did she know?

She said something about being on the bus you mooned.

That would be right. Of course she was.

Yeah. She says you looked straight at her.

My whole body turned an instant microwave red.

In fact, I think she said she was the one who tried to save your arse.

That’s where I knew her from! The girl with the ponytail and the killer death stare. Great, so she’d really be interested.

No way, she was majorly pissed off, I remember.

Yeah, she told me she cut you a look but that was because the Year Twelves were giving her a hard time about telling everyone to shut up. It was her who first saw Danielli and Waddlehead. She told one of her friends to let you know but she reckons you just stood there with a big grin on your face. In fact she said you’ve done that twice now. She thinks it’s pretty funny.

The rays of embarrassment were now replacing the clapped-out heating system in the car. Right, well, that’s it then. I’d be expelled for pulling out of the musical and be the laughingstock of Lakeside for my entire life.

Mark now had a huge grin on his face, the bastard. And there I was feeling sorry for him. What was I thinking, feeling sorry for the bloke? He operated just like the boys, right down to the delivery of the St. Andrew’s piss-take.

What? I challenged. So what if she was the girl who saw me? It doesn’t bother me.

No. No, I can see that.

I looked out the window, trying really hard to look fascinated with the scenery.

OK, I admit it, I said finally. I think she’s pretty hot. Don’t you?

I threw it out there as casually as I could.

Yeah, I suppose she is.

You suppose!

So you are interested.

It was a statement, not a question.

Maybe I’m a little interested.

He was nodding and laughing. I knew it!

What do you mean you knew it?

It was just obvious, wasn’t it? All of a sudden Chris is on at me about meeting you, and he starts to ask questions about the lead girl. Then the other day I watched you stand dead in front of Elizabeth with your mouth wide open …

Bastard!

Hey, don’t blame me, I saw you pretending to read that stupid newsletter and tried to bail you out of what looked like a really embarrassing situation.

OK, OK! So shut up laughing for a minute and tell me the truth. You can’t tell me you’re not interested. You’re always laughing and hugging and carrying on with her. It’s like you’re already boyfriend-girlfriend.

Mark took his eyes from the road for a second and looked at me.

Man, you have got it bad. Look, we’ve become good friends. I’m used to having a lot of girl friends from my old school. We always carried on like that.

Yeah, right. Good comeback, Will! Good comeback!

Look, there’s no doubt she’s a stunner …

So you do—

He cut me off. And funny, smart and feisty and every now and then, not often, she gets really, really fiery. One time in rehearsals Elizabeth and Andrews nearly lost it with one another and he’s a hard man to get started.

I knew there was a reason why I liked the girl!

But the thing I like about her the most is that she doesn’t spend any time thinking about what other people think about her. She is who she is without any crap.

It was around this time I figured I had no hope. So are you going to ask her out?

He looked at me, smiled and said nothing.

Come on, mate, I persisted. Are you going to ask her out?

Why, are you?

Look, the way I see it, there is no way a girl like Elizabeth is going to give me a second look with someone like you sniffing around.

No, mate, you’ve got it all wrong.

Give me a break. All I’m asking is that you save me from making a complete idiot of myself in front of her yet again. Just tell me if you’re interested. If you’re not then I’ll eventually, someday, maybe get enough courage to go and talk to her. But if you’re keen I’ll just back off right now.

He said nothing. It began to dawn on me that maybe there might be the slightest possibility he wasn’t interested.

Mark, are you really not interested?

The car went quiet; the only noise was from the dodgy AM radio station, the only one that worked. It was after a whole chorus of some really bad love song that he finally answered.

No.

She’s seeing someone?

No.

Then why wasn’t he interested?

You must have someone back in Melbourne then.

Not exactly, no …

Got your eye on one of the younger chorus members?

He looked at me like I was perverted.

My brain was still percolating. You could nearly hear the slurps and swishes. He was a good-looking guy who was smart, could sing and dance and play football.

Well, what other reason could there possibly be, unless you’ve found out something really strange about Elizabeth that you can’t tell me.

He was silent again and then let out his breath like an overfilled bike tire.

No, Will, I’m not seeing anyone, I’m not having a secret love affair with an older woman, and Elizabeth is perfectly sane. It’s just that I’m …

Pause.

It’s just that I’m … gay.

I was so busy trying to figure out why he wouldn’t be interested I completely missed what he’d said.

Will, did you hear me?

No, sorry, I was just thinking …

Forget it.

No, what did you say?

I’m not saying it again.

Come on.

Will, when someone outs themselves to a near stranger it’s a pretty big thing to do. I’d kind of appreciate it if you were actually listening.

Right, sorry, Mark.

Outs himself, what does he mean outs himself?

Will, I’m not interested in Elizabeth because I’m gay.

I sat dead still and didn’t look at him.

Gay.

He’s gay.

He’s GAY!

The bad love song had turned into another really bad love song. It was time to get out.

Right. Look, I’m nearly home. You can just drop me here.

Will, it’s all right, I can take you home, just tell me where …

No, really, Mark, I’m nearly home and I’ve taken you out of your way. I’d prefer to walk.

He’d pulled over to the curb and was slowing down, trying to talk to me.

Will …

I clutched the door handle and waited until he came to a complete stop.

No, no, I’m fine. Here’s good.

Will …

I opened the door and got out.

OK, thanks heaps. See you later.

And with that I bolted around the corner.