Dead man

My humiliation in English got around the senior quad in a flash.

Hey, Willo. You grasscutter!

What?

You know, Head of Green. Her and me …

She’s in Year Ten, you idiot, so she can only be assistant head of Green, which shows exactly how much you don’t know about her!

Whatever! It doesn’t matter, mate, she blew that kiss at me. It’s the Jockmeister touch.

He shook his head and slapped me on the back.

You know, Will, I’m not worried, ’cause as soon as she meets me you don’t stand a chance.

At that point I grabbed my doughnut and chocolate milk and retreated to the music room. The safest place in the school.

I was wondering when you’d slide your way in here, you coward.

Chris. The perpetrator.

Yeah, well, this is all your fault.

Take it easy, mate. Nothing like a little bit of public humiliation to make the school day more interesting.

Yeah, right! It would be different if it was you being hung out.

He stopped mucking around with the kit and looked at me.

It was a joke.

I know, I said, starting to relax a little. It’s not just the Elizabeth thing, it’s Andrews. I don’t know what his problem is.

He’s all right. He would have done that with any of the blokes in the class. Lighten up, mate!

Lighten up! The man’s out to destroy me.

Chris shrugged and picked up his drumsticks. He was over the conversation and so was I. I strapped on the guitar and played loud. We fell into jamming with one another and then the music room began to work its magic. Andrews, the musical, everything faded away.

After a good ten minutes Chris looked up from the drum set and grinned.

What? I asked when I saw him looking over at me.

Have you finished freaking out? Because there is one more piece of information I did find out.

I grinned back at him. Sorry.

It’s cool. So do you want to know?

Know what?

If she’s seeing anyone.

Yeah?

Well, she’s not.

How do you know?

One of the Year Ten reps knows her little brother.

How did you find that out?

I asked at the combined reps meeting.

You didn’t!

Mate, don’t freak out again! Since when did you turn into such a drama queen? I did it smoothly. I just asked if anyone knew any of the girl leads in the musical because we’ll have to contact them and do an interview for the next edition of St. Andrew’s Angles. That’s all.

Chris looked pretty pleased with himself.

So come on …

What?

He went to grab my chocolate milk and doughnut.

Payment.

I sidestepped him and shoved the doughnut in my mouth and attempted to speak.

No way, mate. I still hold you responsible for all the hassle. You should have heard bloody Jock. Wait until everyone else starts.

They’ll get over it.

There was a crashing at the door. After three attempts at turning the lock the wrong way, Luke Chan made his way into the room. It was a comfort for those of us in the St. Andrew’s world of piss-takes and rumors that Luke could always be depended upon. He was never quick enough to get a smart-arse comment together and he was always forty-eight hours behind Tim, who was always twenty-four hours behind everybody.

Hey, Willo, I hear you’re mad for some girl in the musical.

OK. I am a dead, dead man.

Will
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