William: Nickname?

Strider: Stridey, courtesy of Anya. I suggested Lucien muzzle her, which is why my upper lip is the size of a baseball. Lucien’s is the size of a football, though, so it was all good.

William: Sweet! Now, zodiac sign?

Strider: Dude, I’m Sagittarius. For sure. Ruled by the Lucky Star since I’m beauty, brains and talent.

William: Funny, that’s my sign, too. Choice of weapon?

Strider: Dumb question. Next.

William: Why?

Strider: Any weapon is good. Jeez, when was the last time you actually fought someone?

William: I stabbed your good friend Lucien in the stomach once. Does that count?

Strider: Sure, but if you do it again, I’ll gut you.

William: Not if I challenge you to only ever make me smile.

Strider: You’re a shithead, you know that?

William: Yes. Now, what are you looking for in a woman?

Strider: Where to begin? I tend to get a bit…possessive with my shit, so I have to be careful with the girls I choose to honor with my manliness. Plus, I’m sick to death of girls realizing I hate to lose and then challenging me to keep them happy. So, okay, I think it’s safe to say I prefer the clueless variety.

William: First, I’m very glad you realize that saying girl doesn’t mean teenager. Second, excellent choice. Favorite food?

Strider: Red Hots. Those candies are like heaven in your mouth, man.

William: Favorite outfit?

Strider: Are you kidding? I look awesome in everything.

William: We’re both lucky in that regard, I guess. Favorite moment in the series so far?

Strider: Shit. I don’t know. Rejoining the other boys, maybe? Next! You’re getting mushy on me.

William: Let’s see if we can change the vibe. Least favorite?

Strider: You’re, like, wanting to make me think and shit, and my brain already hurts. Maybe when I saw what had been done to Gideon, when Sabin handed him over to me while we were at that school for Hunter kids. Damn it. I don’t like thinking about that. Thanks a lot. Next!

William: There’s no winning with you, is there? Get it. You…winning?

Strider: You’re lame, dude.

William: Now you’re lying like Gideon. Hobbies?

Strider: Winning. I don’t play cards and other games for obvious reasons, but man, I do love to win. It’s a rush.

William: Household chores?

Strider: Aeron tried to get me to help him clean up one day. I dodged that bullet, though, and pretended I’d just lost a challenge. I dropped to the ground and didn’t get up for an hour. Nice little nap, I must say.

William: Least favorite household responsibility?

Strider: Would be cleaning, if anyone could corner me into doing anything. Can you imagine losing a challenge to a stain?

William: Like the one on your shirt?

Strider: What are you—damn it! Stupid mustard.

William: Describe yourself.

Strider: We already covered awesome. I’m made of the stuff. Intelligent, witty, modest.

William: What do you think of the fact that your home has been invaded by women?

Strider: My entertainment meter hasn’t been this high in a long time. My boys are whipped, and it’s funny as shit.

William: Who do you think is the cutest Lord?

Strider: Did you ask everyone this question? What’d Paris say? Himself? Shithead. Everyone knows it’s me.

William: If you knew you only had twenty-four hours before the Hunters found Pandora’s box and killed you, what would you do in the time you had left to live?

Strider: Fuck myself silly, then take a whole bunch of Hunters with me.

William: What kind of underwear do you prefer?

Strider: Boxers. I like me some freedom.

Final thoughts from William: Follow through with that threat to challenge the man to make me happy. Might prove to be amusing.