Paris
KEEPER OF PROMISCUITY
William: Nickname?
Paris: Oh, God. Gorgeous.
William: Hey, I’ve been called both names, too. Zodiac sign?
Paris: I’ve checked those out. I’m probably a Gemini.
William: Choice of weapon?
Paris: A long, hard sword. Yeah, I went there.
William: So far, you’re my favorite Lord. What are you looking for in a woman?
Paris: Here’s a better question—who am I looking for? And that’s Sienna. I don’t know if I love her or hate her, but I want her like crazy.
William: Favorite food?
Paris: Female.
William: Me, too! Were we separated at birth? And do you have a favorite outfit?
Paris: Skin.
William: Seriously, what are you doing after this interview? We should head into town and bond some more.
Paris: I’ll probably pass out. So, no town for me.
William: Party pooper. Favorite moment in the series so far?
Paris: Having sex with the same woman twice.
William: Who do you think is the cutest Lord?
Paris: Dumb question. Me.
William: Current hobbies?
Paris: Ambrosia, ambrosia and more ambrosia. Got any on you?
William: Yes. And now we’ve got a date. Reyes said some really dumb stuff to me, and if I share my stash, you can help me kick his ass.
Paris: Count me in.
William: Former hobbies?
Paris: Reading romance novels, watching skin flicks, whipping my boys at Xbox and PlayStation 3. By the way, Willie, you suck at Guitar Hero.
William: Actually, I excel. You just have no rhythm. What are your household chores?
Paris: Grocery shopping and meal preparation.
William: We’re out of Cheetos.
Paris: I have a bag in my room. We can trade.
William: Deal. So let’s hurry and finish up here. Least favorite household responsibility?
Paris: Cooking. Thank the gods Ashlyn and Danika live here now and actually know how to make things more complex than PB and J.
William: Describe yourself.
Paris: The only way I know to answer that is by using the words women have whispered to me throughout the centuries. Delicious, beautiful, handsome, delicious, extraordinary, brilliant, delicious, strong, brave and delicious.
William: Definitely separated at birth. What do you think of the fact that your home has been invaded by women?
Paris: We need even more women. Not enough of them are putting out.
William: I hope you haven’t tried anything on Gilly because she’s too young for you, and I would have to take my blade and—
Paris: Like I would sleep with a teenager! Much less Danika’s best friend. Even I’m not that desperate.
William: I was wrong. We weren’t separated at birth, because your dad is the devil!
Paris: What crawled up your ass? I just stated a fact.
William: Moving on. If you knew you only had twenty-four hours before the Hunters found Pandora’s box and killed you, what would you do in the time you had left to live?
Paris: Get high.
William: What kind of underwear do you prefer?
Paris: I like thongs.
William: You like wearing thongs? I pictured you as a, I don’t know, boxers kind of guy. You know, so your boys can hang free.
Paris: No, shithead. I like when women wear thongs. The ones that come up over their jeans. You know what I mean?
William: You’ve redeemed yourself. I now think you are a man of good taste. Just for that, you get a bonus question. Who would you like to oil-wrestle next?
Paris: Fuck you.
Final thoughts from William: Paris is arrogant, moody, doesn’t like girls too young for him and is an ambrosia addict. I may have just found my new BFF.