William: Nickname?

Torin: TorTor, and I Need You To— Fill in the blank. Does it matter if I gave them to myself? No? Well, then, there’s also Hotness, and The Awesome.

William: Zodiac sign?

Torin: Cancer. Get it? Disease…cancer?

William: Funny. But next time don’t ruin the joke by explaining it to me like I’m a two-year-old child.

Torin: Well, I’ve been watching you, and I’ve noticed you watching a certain child yourself. Just thought I’d accommodate your preferences.

William: I have not been watching Gilly! And she’s seventeen, for gods’ sake. Hardly a toddler.

Torin: She’s been seventeen for, what, two minutes? Besides, how old are you?

William: Fuck you. Choice of weapon?

Torin: Yeah, I wish. Gods, I love to fight. But I haven’t gotten to beat anyone into pulp in thousands of years.

William: What are you looking for in a woman?

Torin: I’m not. Looking, that is. What good would it do me? Not like I can do anything if I see something I want.

William: Things got grouchy fast. Favorite food?

Torin: Anything I haven’t had to prepare myself.

William: Favorite outfit?

Torin: Why? It’s not like anyone sees me anyway.

William: Grouchy again. Why is that? From what I hear, Cameo gets to see more than just your tightie whities.

Torin: We’re just friends. But another word about her, and you’ll get to meet my demon.

William: Wow, you’re really touchy about this subject. Get it? You can’t touch me? Anyway, favorite moment in the series so far?

Torin: I can’t say.

William: Translation: you won’t say. But tell me, does it involve Cameo?

Torin: Yes, now change the subject.

William: Things were just getting interesting, but whatever. Least favorite moment?

Torin: Every time one of my boys comes back injured. I hate knowing I wasn’t there to protect them.

William: Hobbies?

Torin: In my spare time, which equals never, I like to bake cakes. Fine, I only bake them in my head, but I’ve been collecting recipes from the Internet and trying to convince Ashlyn to bake me something with blueberries. Real freaking blueberries. Can you imagine? They’d just explode against your taste buds, man.

William: Household chores?

Torin: Managing stocks and bonds, technology guru, security specialist.

William: Least favorite household responsibility?

Torin: Work keeps me busy, so I’m pretty much grateful for all my responsibilities.

William: Describe yourself.

Torin: Well, I don’t like to brag but I am pretty spectacular.

William: Wow, you’ve got an ego. Everyone knows I’m the most spectacular one here. What do you think of the fact that your home has been invaded by women?

Torin: Freaking torture, man. My poor, neglected body needs a break from the estrogen.

William: Who do you think is the cutest Lord?

Torin: Uh, let me think about that one. Hello, Cameo. And you better keep your mouth shut about her!

William: Put your gloves back on. My mouth is shut. But feel free to describe her breasts and—sit back down. All right, fine. I’ll move on. If you knew you only had twenty-four hours before the Hunters found Pandora’s box and killed you, what would you do in the time you had left to live?

Torin: Find a woman who’s dying and alone and romance the hell out of her and finally lose my stupid virginity.

William: You’re a virgin? Wow. Just wow. I probably would have killed myself by now.

Torin: Let me help you with that….

William: Yep, you are too touchy for sure. So what kind of underwear do you prefer?

Torin: Briefs. And no, you can’t see them.

Final thoughts from William: Find out for yourself what Cameo looks like naked.