98

Cold Cash

In Decatur, Illinois, a house had been burglarized by someone familiar with the family—and familiar with where they kept their money. The cash was all in change—rolls of quarters, dimes, and nickels. And kept in the freezer.

During the investigation, one of the detectives was doing the necessary legwork of asking people in the neighborhood if they had seen or heard anything unusual or suspicious the night of the burglary. One person had noticed a car that was parked in the rear of the residence that evening and was able to provide a rather vague description of the vehicle.

Following up on that sparse lead, the investigator stopped by a neighborhood gas station and asked the attendant on duty if he’d seen a car that fit the vague description or seen anyone that might have looked suspicious to him that night.

“Well,” the clerk mused, “there was one fella who came in the station that night and paid for his gas in rolled change. I remember because the money was cold, real cold, like it had been in the freezer or something.”

Bingo! The detective asked the attendant if he could identify the man if he saw him again.

“Sure, I could,” the man stated. “He comes in here about every day or so and buys gas.”

The detective handed the clerk his card.

“If that guy comes in here again, I’d like you to get his license plate number.”

The very next day the clerk called with the tag number of the vehicle, and the suspect was quickly apprehended.”

“Can you believe it?” the detective asks. “I mean, the guy didn’t even wait until the money had warmed up before he started spending it—and he only went one block away.”

America's Dumbest Criminals
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