91

Wrong Side of the Tracks

No officer likes to get a call involving a train accident. They are usually the bloodiest and most disgusting scenes imaginable.

One evening Marshal Larry Hawkins of Little Rock got a call that a pedestrian had been hit by a train. Expecting the worst, Hawkins reported to the scene. He arrived to find a crowd of spectators craning their necks to get a better look. The marshal elbowed his way through the crowd and saw the victim—standing up talking to someone and brushing off the dirt on his pants.

Here’s the story Hawkins unraveled: The man and his wife were at Johnson’s Tavern, which is right next to the railroad tracks. They both got drunk, and then they got into an argument. He said to her, “The hell with you, I’m walking home.” The railroad track went right past his house, so he decided he was going to walk the tracks home.

Meanwhile, a southbound train was on its way. And somewhere between the tavern and home, the train and the drunk man managed to meet.

3616-Amer_Dumbest_Criminals_0214_001

But the important thing is that he was lying between the two rails when the train went over him.

The conductors and the engineers all saw a man go down, and they were sure the train went over him. They assumed he had been killed. But somehow after the train had managed to stop, the dumb, drunk, and incredibly lucky criminal was still alive.

To this day, no one is sure exactly how it happened. The train might have knocked the man down, or he might have passed out on the tracks. But the important thing is that he was lying between the two rails when the train went over him.

Said Hawkins, “Now, there’s always stuff hanging down under a train, like air hoses and stuff, and those things did clip him and roll him around. He was bruised, scratched, and cut, and his clothes were torn. But he was all right. He was up and walking around—still drunk and scared out of his mind. I took him in for his own protection and arrested him for public intoxication.”

America's Dumbest Criminals
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c0_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c1_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c2_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c3_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c4_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c4.5_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c5_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c6_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c7_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c8_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c9_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c10_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c11_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c12_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c13_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c14_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c15_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c16_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c17_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c18_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c19_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c20_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c21_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c22_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c23_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c24_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c25_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c26_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c27_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c28_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c29_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c30_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c31_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c32_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c33_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c34_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c35_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c36_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c37_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c38_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c39_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c40_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c41_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c42_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c43_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c44_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c45_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c46_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c47_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c48_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c49_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c50_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c51_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c52_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c53_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c54_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c55_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c56_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c57_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c58_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c59_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c60_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c61_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c62_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c63_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c64_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c65_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c66_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c67_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c68_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c69_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c70_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c71_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c72_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c73_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c74_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c75_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c76_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c77_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c78_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c79_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c80_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c81_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c82_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c83_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c84_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c85_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c86_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c87_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c88_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c89_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c90_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c91_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c92_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c93_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c94_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c95_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c96_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c97_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c98_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c99_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c100_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c101_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c102_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c103_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c104_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c105_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c106_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c107_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c108_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c109_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c110_r1.html
Ray_9781418558796_epub_c111_r1.html