Stop That Thief and Step on It!
A nervous crook sat at an Illinois tavern knocking back beers to “get up his nerve.” The beer only managed to shut down his brain while the crook’s body went out to rob a nice home. Totally anesthetized, our crook set about breaking into a beautiful ranch house. He tried to pry open a sliding glass door, but he used too much force and broke the glass, cutting himself in the process. The occupant of the house, an older woman who was a very sound sleeper, didn’t hear a thing.
Finally, the dumb criminal managed to let himself into the basement. But then he realized he had dropped his flashlight in the yard and couldn’t see a thing. Feeling his way around and bumping his shins with almost every step, he managed to find some laundry to tie around his cuts and then to feel his way up the stairs to the first floor.
By now the poor burglar was tired, bleeding, bruised, and still very drunk. He still wanted to rob the house, but first he needed a minute just to lie down and rest. So he felt his way along the walls of the hallway, slowly opened a door, felt his way in at coffee-table height, and finally located an open area where he could lie down. Unfortunately, he got a little too relaxed and soon succumbed to slumber.
At two in the morning the householder woke up and felt a need to visit the bathroom. She swung her legs around to the floor, felt for her slippers, stood up . . . and stepped right on the face of the burglar, who had chosen the floor beside her bed for his nap. He was so far gone that he didn’t even stir.
The old saying, “Let sleeping thieves lie,” did cross the lady’s mind. On second thought, she called the police and had the bumbling intruder arrested anyway.