To police officers accustomed to hearing outrageous lies and absurd alibis, a truly honest answer can feel like a breath of fresh air—even if that breath has a distinct smell of alcohol. Captain Don Parker of Pensacola, Florida, received such an answer late one night when he stopped a woman he suspected of driving under the influence.
“By the time I got out of my patrol car,” Parker says, “she was already out of her car, staggering back and forth, and obviously very upset with me.”
“Why are you stopping me, Officer?” the obviously intoxicated woman drawled before Parker could say a word.
“Well, ma’am, you were weaving all over the road,” Parker explained. “And you didn’t have your headlights on.”
“Oh, I can explain,” she replied smartly. “You see, I’ve been drinking all night, and I’m very drunk.”
Parker merely nodded.
“Considering my condition,” she finished with unerring and incriminating logic, “I think I’m doing very well.”
He had to agree, even as he took her in.
“Oh, I can explain. You see, I’ve been drinking all night, and I’m very drunk. . . . Considering my condition, I think I’m doing very well.”