Chapter 27
It occurred to me the next morning that my
days with Matthew, thus far, had fallen into one of two categories.
Either he steered the day along, keeping me safe and making sure
nothing upset his careful arrangements, or the day unfolded without
rhyme or reason. Not long ago what happened in my day had been
determined by carefully drawn-up lists and schedules.
Today I was going to take charge. Today Matthew was
going to let me into his life as a vampire.
Unfortunately my decision was bound to ruin what
promised to be a wonderful day.
It started at dawn with Matthew’s physical
proximity, which sent the same shock of desire through me that I’d
felt yesterday in the courtyard. It was more effective than any
alarm clock. His response was gratifyingly immediate as well, and
he kissed me with enthusiasm.
“I thought you’d never wake up,” he grumbled
between kisses. “I feared I would have to send to the village for
the town band, and the only trumpeter who knew how to sound
reveille died last year.”
Lying at his side, I noticed he was not wearing the
ampulla from Bethany.
“Where did your pilgrim’s badge go?” It was the
perfect opportunity for him to tell me about the Knights of
Lazarus, but he didn’t take it.
“I don’t need it anymore,” he’d said, distracting
me by winding a lock of my hair around his finger and then pulling
it to the side so he could kiss the sensitive flesh behind my ear.
“Tell me,” I’d insisted, squirming away slightly.
“Later,” he said, lips drifting down to the place
where neck met shoulder.
My body foiled any further attempts at rational
conversation. We both behaved instinctually, touching through the
barriers of thin clothing and noting the small changes—a shiver, an
eruption of gooseflesh, a soft moan—that promised greater pleasure
to come. When I became insistent, reaching to seize bare flesh,
Matthew stopped me.
“No rushing. We have time.”
“Vampires,” was all I managed to say before he
stopped my words with his mouth.
We were still behind the bed curtains when Marthe
entered the room. She left the breakfast tray on the table with an
officious clatter and threw two logs on the fire with the
enthusiasm of a Scot tossing the caber. Matthew peered out,
proclaimed it a perfect morning, and declared that I was
ravenous.
Marthe erupted into a string of Occitan and
departed, humming a song under her breath. He refused to translate
on the grounds that the lyrics were too bawdy for my delicate
ears.
This morning, instead of quietly watching me eat,
Matthew complained that he was bored. He did it with a wicked gleam
in his eyes, his fingers restless on his thighs.
“We’ll go riding after breakfast,” I promised,
forking some eggs into my mouth and taking a scalding sip of tea.
“My work can wait until later.”
“Riding won’t fix it,” Matthew purred.
Kissing worked to drive away his ennui. My lips
felt bruised, and I had a much finer understanding of the
interconnectedness of my own nervous system when Matthew finally
conceded it was time to go riding.
He went downstairs to change while I showered.
Marthe came upstairs to retrieve the tray, and I told her my plans
while braiding my hair into a thick rope. Her eyes widened at the
important part, but she agreed to send a small pack of sandwiches
and a bottle of water out to Georges for Rakasa’s saddlebag.
After that, there was nothing left but to inform
Matthew.
He was humming and sitting at his desk, clattering
on his computer and occasionally reaching over to thumb through
messages on his phone. He looked up and grinned.
“There you are,” he said. “I thought I was going to
have to fish you out of the water.”
Desire shot through me, and my knees went weak. The
feelings were exacerbated by the knowledge that what I was about to
say would wipe the smile clean off his face.
Please let this be right, I whispered to
myself, resting my hands on his shoulders. Matthew tilted his head
back against my chest and smiled up at me.
“Kiss me,” he commanded.
I complied without a second thought, amazed at the
comfort between us. This was so different from books and movies,
where love was made into something tense and difficult. Loving
Matthew was much more like coming into port than heading out into a
storm.
“How do you manage it?” I asked him, holding his
face in my hands. “I feel like I’ve known you forever.”
Matthew smiled happily and returned his attention
to his computer, shutting down his various programs. While he did,
I drank in his spicy scent and smoothed his hair along the curve of
his skull.
“That feels wonderful,” he said, leaning back into
my hand.
It was time to ruin his day. Crouching down, I
rested my chin on his shoulder.
“Take me hunting.”
Every muscle in his body stiffened.
“That’s not funny, Diana,” he said icily.
“I’m not trying to be.” My chin and hands remained
where they were. He tried to shrug me off, but I wouldn’t let him.
Though I didn’t have the courage to face him, he wasn’t going to
escape. “You need to do this, Matthew. You need to know that you
can trust me.”
He stood up explosively, leaving me no choice but
to step back and let him go. Matthew strode away, and one hand
strayed to the spot where his Bethany ampulla used to rest. Not a
good sign.
“Vampires don’t take warmbloods hunting,
Diana.”
This was not a good sign either. He was lying to
me.
“Yes they do,” I said softly. “You hunt with
Hamish.”
“That’s different. I’ve known him for years, and I
don’t share a bed with him.” Matthew’s voice was rough, and he was
staring fixedly at his bookshelves.
I started toward him, slowly. “If Hamish can hunt
with you, so can I.”
“No.” The muscles in his shoulders stood out in
sharp relief, their outlines visible under his sweater.
“Ysabeau took me with her.”
The silence in the room was absolute. Matthew drew
in a single, ragged breath, and the muscles in his shoulder
twitched. I took another step.
“Don’t,” he said harshly. “I don’t want you near me
when I’m angry.”
Reminding myself that he wasn’t in charge today, I
took my next steps at a much faster pace and stood directly behind
him. That way he couldn’t avoid my scent or the sound of my
heartbeat, which was measured and steady.
“I didn’t mean to make you angry.”
“I’m not angry with you.” He sounded bitter. “My
mother, however, has a lot to answer for. She’s done a great deal
to try my patience over the centuries, but taking you hunting is
unforgivable.”
“Ysabeau asked me if I needed to come back to the
château.”
“You shouldn’t have been given the choice,” he
barked, whirling around to face me. “Vampires aren’t in control
when they’re hunting—not entirely. My mother certainly isn’t to be
trusted when she smells blood. For her it’s all about the kill and
the feeding. If the wind had caught your scent, she would have fed
on you, too, without a second thought.”
Matthew had reacted more negatively than I’d
expected. With one of my feet firmly in the fire, however, the
other one might as well go in, too.
“Your mother was only protecting you. She was
concerned that I didn’t understand the stakes. You would have done
the same for Lucas.” Once again the silence was deep and
long.
“She had no right to tell you about Lucas. He
belonged to me, not to her.” Matthew’s voice was soft, but filled
with more venom than I’d ever heard in it. His eyes flickered to
the shelf that held the tower.
“To you and to Blanca,” I said, my voice equally
soft.
“The life stories of a vampire are theirs to
tell—and theirs alone. We may be outlaws, you and I, but my mother
has broken a few rules herself in the past few days.” He reached
again for the missing Bethany ampulla.
I crossed the small distance that separated us,
moving quietly and surely, as if he were a nervous animal, so as to
keep him from lashing out in a way he would regret later. When I
was standing no more than an inch from him, I took hold of his
arms.
“Ysabeau told me other things as well. We talked
about your father. She told me all of your names, and which ones
you don’t like, and her names as well. I don’t really understand
their significance, but it’s not something she tells everyone. And
she told me how she made you. The song she sang to make my
witchwater go away was the same song she sang to you when you were
first a vampire.” When you couldn’t stop feeding.
Matthew met my eyes with difficulty. They were full
of pain and a vulnerability that he’d carefully hidden before now.
It broke my heart.
“I can’t risk it, Diana,” he said. “I want you—more
than anyone I’ve ever known. I want you physically, I want you
emotionally. If my concentration shifts for an instant while we’re
out hunting, the deer’s scent could get confused with yours, and my
instinct to hunt an animal could cross with my desire to have
you.”
“You already have me,” I said, holding on to him
with my hands, my eyes, my mind, my heart. “There’s no need to hunt
me. I’m yours.”
“It doesn’t work that way,” he said. “I’ll never
possess you completely. I’ll always want more than you can
give.”
“You didn’t in my bed this morning.” My cheeks
reddened at the memory of his latest rebuff. “I was more than
willing to give myself to you, and you said no.”
“I didn’t say no—I said later.”
“Is that how you hunt, too? Seduction, delay, then
surrender?”
He shuddered. It was all the answer I
required.
“Show me,” I insisted.
“No.”
“Show me!”
He growled, but I stood my ground. The sound was a
warning, not a threat.
“I know you’re frightened. So am I.” Regret
flickered in his eyes, and I made a sound of impatience. “For the
last time, I am not frightened of you. It’s my own power that
scares me. You didn’t see the witchwater, Matthew. When the water
moved within me, I could have destroyed everyone and everything and
not felt a drop of remorse. You’re not the only dangerous creature
in this room. But we have to learn how to be with each other in
spite of who we are.”
He gave a bitter laugh. “Maybe that’s why there are
rules against vampires and witches being together. Maybe it’s too
difficult to cross these lines after all.”
“You don’t believe that,” I said fiercely, taking
his hand in mine and holding it to my face. The shock of cold
against warm sent a delicious feeling through my bones, and my
heart gave its usual thump of acknowledgment. “What we feel for
each other is not—cannot—be wrong.”
“Diana,” he began, shaking his head and drawing his
fingers away.
Gripping him more tightly, I turned the palm over.
His lifeline was long and smooth, and after tracing it I brought my
fingers to rest on his veins. They looked black under the white
skin, and Matthew shivered at my touch. There was still pain in his
eyes, but he was not as furious.
“This is not wrong. You know it. Now you have to
know that you can trust me, too.” I laced my fingers through his
and gave him time to think. But I didn’t let go.
“I’ll take you hunting,” Matthew said at last,
“provided you don’t come near me and don’t get down from Rakasa’s
back. If you get so much as a hint that I’m looking at you—that I’m
even thinking about you—turn around and ride straight home to
Marthe.”
The decision made, Matthew stalked downstairs,
waiting patiently each time he realized I was lagging behind. As he
breezed past the door of the salon, Ysabeau rose from her
seat.
“Come on,” he said tightly, gripping my elbow and
steering me downstairs.
Ysabeau was only a few feet behind us by the time
we reached the kitchens, where Marthe stood in the doorway to the
cold-foods larder, eyeing Matthew and me as if watching the latest
drama on afternoon television. Neither needed to be told that
something was wrong.
“I don’t know when we’ll be back,” Matthew shot
over his shoulder. His fingers didn’t loosen, and he gave me no
opportunity to do more than turn toward her with an apologetic face
and mouth the word “Sorry.”
“Elle a plus de courage que j’ai pensé,”
Ysabeau murmured to Marthe.
Matthew stopped abruptly, his lip curled in an
unpleasant snarl.
“Yes, Mother. Diana has more courage than we
deserve, you and I. And if you ever test that again, it will be the
last time you see either of us. Understood?”
“Of course, Matthew,” Ysabeau murmured. It was her
favorite noncommittal response.
Matthew didn’t speak to me on the way to the
stables. Half a dozen times, he looked as though he were going to
turn around and march us back to the château. At the stable door,
he gripped my shoulders, searching my face and body for signs of
fear. My chin went up in the air.
“Shall we?” I motioned toward the paddock.
He made a sound of exasperation and shouted for
Georges. Balthasar bellowed in response and caught the apple that I
tossed in his direction. Mercifully, I didn’t need any help getting
my boots on, though it did take me longer than it took Matthew. He
watched carefully as I did up the vest’s fastenings and snapped the
chin strap on the helmet.
“Take this,” he said, handing me a cropped
whip.
“I don’t need it.”
“You’ll take the crop, Diana.”
I took it, resolved to ditch it in the brush at the
first opportunity.
“And if you toss it aside when we enter the forest,
we’re coming home.”
Did he really think I would use the crop on him? I
shoved it into my boot, the handle sticking out by my knee, and
stomped out into the paddock.
The horses skittered nervously when we came into
view. Like Ysabeau, both knew that something was wrong. Rakasa took
the apple I owed her, and I ran my fingers over her flesh and spoke
to her softly in an effort to soothe her. Matthew didn’t bother
with Dahr. He was all business, checking the horse’s tack with
lightning speed. When I’d finished, Matthew tossed me onto Rakasa’s
back. His hands were firm around my waist, but he didn’t hold on a
moment longer than necessary. He didn’t want any more of my scent
on him.
In the forest Matthew made sure the crop was still
in my boot.
“Your right stirrup needs shortening,” he pointed
out after we had the horses trotting. He wanted my tack in racing
trim in case I needed to make a run for it. I pulled Rakasa in with
a scowl and adjusted the stirrup leathers.
The now-familiar field opened up in front of me,
and Matthew sniffed the air. He grabbed Rakasa’s reins and brought
me to a halt. He was still black with anger.
“There’s a rabbit over there.” Matthew nodded to
the western section of the field.
“I’ve done rabbit,” I said calmly. “And marmot, and
goat, and a doe.”
Matthew swore. It was concise and comprehensive,
and I hoped we were out of the range of Ysabeau’s keen ears.
“The phrase is ‘cut to the chase,’ is it
not?”
“I don’t hunt deer like my mother does, by
frightening it to death and pouncing on it. I can kill a rabbit for
you, or even a goat. But I’m not stalking a deer while you’re with
me.” Matthew’s jaw was set in an obstinate line.
“Stop pretending and trust me.” I gestured at my
saddlebag. “I’m prepared for the wait.”
He shook his head. “Not with you at my side.”
“Since I’ve met you,” I said quietly, “you’ve shown
me all the pleasant parts of being a vampire. You taste things I
can’t even imagine. You remember events and people that I can only
read about in books. You smell when I change my mind or want to
kiss you. You’ve woken me to a world of sensory possibilities I
never dreamed existed.”
I paused for a moment, hoping I was making
progress. I wasn’t.
“At the same time, you’ve seen me throw up, set
fire to your rug, and come completely unglued when I received
something unexpected in the mail. You missed the waterworks, but
they weren’t pretty. In return I’m asking you to let me watch you
feed yourself. It’s a basic thing, Matthew. If you can’t bear it,
then we can make the Congregation happy and call it off.”
“Dieu. Will you never stop surprising me?”
Matthew’s head lifted, and he stared into the distance. His
attention was caught by a young stag on the crest of the hill. The
stag was cropping the grass, and the wind was blowing toward us, so
he hadn’t yet picked up our scent.
Thank you, I breathed silently. It was a
gift from the gods for the stag to appear like that. Matthew’s eyes
locked on his prey, and the anger left him to make room for a
preternatural awareness of his environment. I fixed my eyes on the
vampire, watching for slight changes that signaled what he was
thinking or feeling, but there were precious few clues.
Don’t you dare move, I warned when Rakasa
tensed in preparation for a fidget. She rooted her hooves into the
earth and stood at attention.
Matthew smelled the wind change and took Rakasa’s
reins. He slowly moved both horses to the right, keeping them
within the path of the downward breezes. The stag raised his head
and looked down the hill, then resumed his quiet clipping of the
grass. Matthew’s eyes darted over the terrain, lingering
momentarily on a rabbit and widening when a fox stuck his head out
of a hole. A falcon swooped overhead, riding the breezes like a
surfer rides the waves, and he took that in as well. I began to
appreciate how he’d managed the creatures in the Bodleian. There
was not a living thing in this field that he had not located,
identified, and been prepared to kill after only a few minutes of
observation. Matthew inched the horses toward the trees,
camouflaging my presence by putting me in the midst of other animal
scents and sounds.
While we moved, Matthew noted when the falcon was
joined by another bird or when one rabbit disappeared down a hole
and another popped up to take its place. We startled a spotted
animal that looked like a cat, with a long striped tail. From the
pitch of Matthew’s body, it was clear he wanted to chase it, and
had he been alone he would have hunted it down before turning to
the stag. With difficulty he drew his eyes away from the animal’s
leaping form.
It took us almost an hour to make our way from the
bottom of the field around the forest’s edge. When we were near the
top, Matthew performed his face-forward dismount. He smacked Dahr
on the rump, and the horse obediently turned and headed for
home.
Matthew hadn’t let go of Rakasa’s reins during
these maneuvers, and he didn’t release them now. He led her to the
edge of the forest and drew in a deep breath, taking in every trace
of scent. Without a sound he put us inside a small thicket of
low-growing birch.
The vampire crouched, both knees bent in a position
that would have been excruciating to a human after about four
minutes. Matthew held it for nearly two hours. My feet fell asleep,
and I woke them up by flexing my ankles in the stirrups.
Matthew had not exaggerated the difference between
his way of hunting and his mother’s. For Ysabeau it was primarily
about filling a biological need. She needed blood, the animals had
it, and she took it from them as efficiently as possible without
feeling remorse that her survival required the death of another
creature. For her son, however, it was clearly more complicated.
He, too, needed the physical nourishment that their blood provided.
But Matthew felt a kinship with his prey that reminded me of the
tone of respect I’d detected in his articles about the wolves. For
Matthew, hunting was primarily about strategy, about pitting his
feral intelligence against something that thought and sensed the
world as he did.
Remembering our play in bed that morning, my eyes
closed against a sudden jolt of desire. I wanted him as badly here
in the forest when he was about to kill something as I had this
morning, and I began to understand what worried Matthew about
hunting with me. Survival and sexuality were linked in ways I’d
never appreciated until now.
He exhaled softly and left my side without warning,
his body prowling through the edges of the forest. When Matthew
loped across the ridge, the stag raised his head, curious to see
what this strange creature was.
It took the stag only a few seconds to assess
Matthew as a threat, which was longer than it would have taken me.
My hair was standing on end, and I felt the same pull of concern
for the stag that I had for Ysabeau’s deer. The stag sprang into
action, leaping down the hillside. But Matthew was faster, and he
cut the animal off before it could get too close to where I was
hiding. He chased it up the hill and back across the ridge. With
every step, Matthew drew closer and the stag became more
anxious.
I know that you’re afraid, I said silently,
hoping the stag could hear me. He needs to do this. He doesn’t
do this for sport, or to harm you. He does it to stay
alive.
Rakasa’s head swung around, and she eyed me
nervously. I reached down to reassure her and kept my hand on her
neck.
Be still, I urged the stag. Stop running.
Not even you are fast enough to outrun this creature. The stag
slowed, stumbling over a hole in the ground. He was running
straight for me, as if he could hear my voice and was following it
to its source.
Matthew reached and grabbed the stag’s horns,
twisting his head to one side. The stag fell on his back, his sides
heaving with exertion. Matthew sank to his knees, holding its head
securely, about twenty feet from the thicket. The stag tried to
kick his way to his feet.
Let go, I said sadly. It’s time. This is
the creature who will end your life.
The stag gave a final kick of frustration and fear
and then quieted. Matthew stared deep into the eyes of his prey, as
if waiting for permission to finish the job, then moved so swiftly
that there was nothing more than a blur of black and white as he
battened onto the stag’s neck.
As he fed, the stag’s life seeped away and a surge
of energy entered Matthew. There was a clean tang of iron in the
air, though no drops of blood fell. When the stag’s life force was
gone, Matthew remained still, kneeling quietly next to the carcass
with his head bowed.
I kicked Rakasa into a walk. Matthew’s back
stiffened at my approach. He looked up, his eyes pale gray-green
and bright with satisfaction. Taking the crop out of my boot, I
threw it as far as I could in the opposite direction. It sailed
into the underbrush and became hopelessly entangled in the gorse.
Matthew watched with interest, but the danger that he might mistake
me for a doe had clearly passed.
Deliberately I took off my helmet and dismounted
with my back turned. Even now I trusted him, though he didn’t trust
himself. Resting my hand lightly on his shoulder, I dropped to my
knees and put the helmet down near the stag’s staring eyes.
“I like the way you hunt better than the way
Ysabeau does it. So does the deer, I think.”
“How does my mother kill, that it is so different
from me?” Matthew’s French accent was stronger, and his voice
sounded even more fluid and hypnotic than usual. He smelled
different, too.
“She hunts out of biological need,” I said simply.
“You hunt because it makes you feel wholly alive. And you two
reached an agreement.” I motioned at the stag. “He was at peace, I
think, in the end.”
Matthew looked at me intently, snow turning to ice
on my skin as he stared. “Were you talking to this stag as you talk
to Balthasar and Rakasa?”
“I didn’t interfere, if that’s what you’re worried
about,” I said hastily. “The kill was yours.” Maybe such things
mattered to vampires.
Matthew shuddered. “I don’t keep score.” He dragged
his eyes from the stag and rose to his feet in one of those smooth
movements that marked him unmistakably as a vampire. A long,
slender hand reached down. “Come. You’re cold kneeling on the
ground.”
I placed my hand in his and stood, wondering who
would get rid of the stag’s carcass. Some combination of Georges
and Marthe would be involved. Rakasa was contentedly eating grass,
unconcerned by the dead animal lying so close. Unaccountably, I was
ravenous.
Rakasa, I called silently. She looked up and
walked over.
“Do you mind if I eat?” I asked hesitantly, unsure
what Matthew’s reaction would be.
His mouth twitched. “No. Given what you’ve seen
today, the least I can do is watch you have a sandwich.”
“There’s no difference, Matthew.” I undid the
buckle on Rakasa’s saddlebag and said a silent word of thanks.
Marthe, bless her, had packed cheese sandwiches. The worst of my
hunger checked, I brushed the crumbs from my hands.
Matthew was watching me like a hawk. “Do you mind?”
he asked quietly.
“Mind what?” I’d already told him I didn’t mind
about the deer.
“Blanca and Lucas. That I was married and had a
child once, so long ago.”
I was jealous of Blanca, but Matthew wouldn’t
understand how or why. I gathered my thoughts and emotions and
tried to sort them into something that was both true and would make
sense to him.
“I don’t mind one moment of love that you’ve shared
with any creature, living or dead,” I said emphatically, “so long
as you want to be with me right at this moment.”
“Just at this moment?” he asked, his eyebrow
arching up into a question mark.
“This is the only moment that matters.” It all
seemed so simple. “No one who has lived as long as you have comes
without a past, Matthew. You weren’t a monk, and I don’t expect you
to have no regrets about who you’ve lost along the way. How could
you not have been loved before, when I love you so much?”
Matthew gathered me to his heart. I went eagerly,
glad that the day’s hunting had not ended in disaster and that his
anger was fading. It still smoldered—it was evident in a lingering
tightness in his face and shoulders—but it no longer threatened to
engulf us. He cupped my chin in his long fingers and tilted my face
up to his.
“Would you mind very much if I kissed you?” Matthew
glanced away for a moment when he asked.
“Of course not.” I stood on tiptoes so that my
mouth was closer to his. Still, he hesitated, so I reached up and
clasped my hands behind his neck. “Don’t be idiotic. Kiss
me.”
He did, briefly but firmly. The final traces of
blood were still on his lips, but it was neither frightening nor
unpleasant. It was just Matthew.
“You know there won’t be any children between us,”
he said while he held me close, our faces nearly touching.
“Vampires can’t father children the traditional way. Do you mind
that?”
“There’s more than one way to make a child.”
Children were not something I’d thought about before. “Ysabeau made
you, and you belong to her no less than Lucas belonged to you and
Blanca. And there are a lot of children in the world who don’t have
parents.” I remembered the moment when Sarah and Em told me mine
were gone and never coming back. “We could take them in—a whole
coven of them, if we wanted to.”
“I haven’t made a vampire for years,” he said. “I
can still manage it, but I hope you don’t intend that we have a
large family.”
“My family has doubled in the past three weeks,
with you, Marthe, and Ysabeau added. I don’t know how much more
family I can take.”
“You need to add one more to that number.”
My eyes widened. “There are more of you?”
“Oh, there are always more,” he said drily.
“Vampire genealogies are much more complicated than witch
genealogies, after all. We have blood relations on three sides, not
just two. But this is a member of the family that you’ve already
met.”
“Marcus?” I asked, thinking of the young American
vampire and his high-tops.
Matthew nodded. “He’ll have to tell you his own
story—I’m not as much of an iconoclast as my mother, despite
falling in love with a witch. I made him, more than two hundred
years ago. And I’m proud of him and what he’s done with his
life.”
“But you didn’t want him to take my blood in the
lab,” I said with a frown. “He’s your son. Why couldn’t you trust
him with me?” Parents were supposed to trust their children.
“He was made with my blood, my darling,” Matthew
said, looking patient and possessive at the same time. “If I find
you so irresistible, why wouldn’t he? Remember, none of us is
immune to the lure of blood. I might trust him more than I would a
stranger, but I’ll never be completely at ease when any vampire is
too close to you.”
“Not even Marthe?” I was aghast. I trusted Marthe
completely.
“Not even Marthe,” he said firmly. “You really
aren’t her type at all, though. She prefers her blood from far
brawnier creatures.”
“You don’t have to worry about Marthe, or Ysabeau
either.” I was equally firm.
“Be careful with my mother,” Matthew warned. “My
father told me never to turn my back on her, and he was right.
She’s always been fascinated by and envious of witches. Given the
right circumstances and the right mood . . . ?” He shook his
head.
“And then there’s what happened to Philippe.”
Matthew froze.
“I’m seeing things now, Matthew. I saw Ysabeau tell
you about the witches who captured your father. She has no reason
to trust me, but she let me in her house anyway. The real threat is
the Congregation. And there would be no danger from them if you
made me into a vampire.”
His face darkened. “My mother and I are going to
have a long talk about appropriate topics of conversation.”
“You can’t keep the world of vampires—your
world—away from me. I’m in it. I need to know how it works and what
the rules are.” My temper flared, seething down my arms and toward
my nails, where it erupted into arcs of blue fire.
Matthew’s eyes widened.
“You aren’t the only scary creature around, are
you?” I waved my fiery hands between us until the vampire shook his
head. “So stop being all heroic and let me share your life. I don’t
want to be with Sir Lancelot. Be yourself—Matthew Clairmont.
Complete with your sharp vampire teeth and your scary mother, your
test tubes full of blood and your DNA, your infuriating bossiness
and your maddening sense of smell.”
Once I had spit all that out, the blue sparks
retreated from my fingertips. They waited, somewhere around my
elbows, in case I needed them again.
“If I come closer,” Matthew said conversationally,
as though asking for the time or the temperature, “will you turn
blue again, or is that it for now?”
“I think I’m done for the time being.”
“You think?” His eyebrow arched again.
“I’m perfectly under control,” I said with more
conviction, remembering with regret the hole in his rug in
Oxford.
Matthew had his arms around me in a flash.
“Oof,” I complained as he crushed my elbows into my
ribs.
“And you are going to give me gray hairs—long
thought impossible among vampires, by the way—with your courage,
your firecracker hands, and the impossible things you say.” To make
sure he was safe from the last, Matthew kissed me quite thoroughly.
When he was finished, I was unlikely to say much, surprising or
otherwise. My ear rested against his sternum, listening patiently
for his heart to thump. When it did, I gave him a satisfied
squeeze, glad not to be the only one whose heart was full.
“You win, ma vaillante fille,” he said,
cradling me against his body. “I will try—try—not to coddle
you so much. And you must not underestimate how dangerous vampires
can be.”
It was hard to put “danger” and “vampire” into the
same thought while pressed so firmly against him. Rakasa gazed at
us indulgently, the grass sprouting out of both sides of her
mouth.
“Are you finished?” I angled back my head to look
at him.
“If you’re asking if I need to hunt more, the
answer is no.”
“Rakasa is going to explode. She’s been eating
grass for quite some time. And she can’t carry both of us.” My
hands took stock of Matthew’s hips and buttocks.
His breath caught in his throat, making a very
different kind of purring sound from the one he made when he was
angry.
“You ride, and I’ll walk alongside,” he suggested
after another very thorough kiss.
“Let’s both walk.” After hours in the saddle, I was
not eager to get back up on Rakasa.
It was twilight when Matthew led us back through
the château gates. Sept-Tours was ablaze, every lamp illuminated in
silent greeting.
“Home,” I said, my heart lifting at the
sight.
Matthew looked at me, rather than the house, and
smiled. “Home.”