Darcy planned to leave for London the next day, and Elizabeth did not wish him to be gone on such “strained” terms.Try as she may, she would let him leave without addressing the issue. She yearned for someone to advise her how to handle the situation, but there was no one to whom to turn. Neither Georgiana nor Kitty should even know what to expect in the marriage bedroom, nor how to advise her on how to handle her husband’s dual nature. She would give anything to be able to talk to Jane or her Aunt Gardiner; they would understand and not judge her for such a personal subject. There was nothing to do but to use her instincts and pray those instincts were in tune to Darcy.

Earlier, Elizabeth encouraged Mr. Harrison to wait until Monday morning to return to Hines Park. “No gentleman should travel on the Sabbath,” she reasoned,“even if your estate is only a few hours away.”

“Must you encourage my sister’s relationship with Mr. Harrison?” Darcy asked her sharply as he passed Elizabeth in the front foyer.

Elizabeth, already irritated by his foul mood, did not guard her words. “Your sister prefers Mr. Harrison’s company. There was a time, Mr. Darcy, you would want Georgiana to be happy; now it seems you want her simply to obey. My opinion of Mr. Harrison was never one of his inappropriateness for Georgiana, it only was with the timing of his entreaty.That opinion changed when Mr. Harrison protected Georgiana from George Wickham and the day he came here to help me with this estate while you were off kissing the gloved hand of Elizabeth Donnelly at Darling Hall.”

“If Mr. Harrison’s connections had not put my sister’s life in danger, I would not have gone to Hull in the first place,” he snapped.

“You cannot possibly be thinking of putting the blame for that ill-fated trip and your attack on Mr. Harrison,” Elizabeth hissed. She moved in closer to challenge Darcy.Trying to control the volume of her voice so as not to alert the whole household of their dispute, she continued, “It was Captain Rutherford whom we feared. Mr. Harrison shows nothing but the highest respect for Georgiana. He has a fine estate, worth six thousand pounds a year; he cares for Georgiana, and she has feelings for him. How is this such a bad arrangement for our sister?”

“It just goes to show how little you know about fine society.” Darcy’s words affected Elizabeth, but she did not move. His face was inches from hers. “Country society is not what I would choose for Georgiana. She will inhabit a world different from what you know.”

“I see we are back to my poor connections,” Elizabeth retorted, never once giving him forgiveness for his lack of civility. “Do you want me gone, too, Fitzwilliam?” she demanded.

“Of course not,” he began but then stopped short. They stood staring at each other. Darcy made grown men retreat with that stare, but Elizabeth refused to budge. Finally, he turned and walked away from her, retreating to his study and slamming the door along the way.

Darcy stood to greet her.“Please do.”

“Fitzwilliam, I am sorry for my foul temper earlier; it was unconscionable of me to speak to you thusly.” Elizabeth had practiced what she wanted to say to him. She would not apologize for her opinions, but she would offer regrets for her tone.

“I, too, was out of line.” To prove he forgave her, Darcy embraced her, pulling her to him so Elizabeth’s head rested on his chest. “I should be more considerate of your condition; I understand many women are temperamental when they are with child.” He stroked her head gently as he spoke.

Elizabeth paused, trying to decide whether she heard him correctly. She loosened his grip on her and walked several steps away before turning to Darcy and saying,“You cannot possibly think my opinion of your sister’s position has anything to do with my condition? Do not think I am just being emotional; my opinions have nothing to do with the child I carry.”

“Elizabeth,” he stammered,“I chose my words poorly. Please, I do not wish to leave tomorrow with our being at odds.”

Elizabeth’s countenance softened as she returned to Darcy’s arms.

“Sweet, Elizabeth, we should not argue,” he whispered, feeling the closeness of her body to his.

Elizabeth could not speak; being in Darcy’s arms was where she wanted to be, and she began to evaluate how much she was willing to give into him just to have this closeness continue.

“It is true Mr. Harrison could be a viable candidate for Georgiana,” Darcy said softly, “yet, I strongly believe a more suitable man exists, and I will find my sister such a match.” Darcy’s confidence played through his voice. “I seek your support with my sister, Elizabeth.You earned Georgiana’s trust, and I expect you to help me convince her otherwise.”

Again, her husband’s words affected her being, and impulsively, Elizabeth stiffened in his embrace.“Fitzwilliam, I do not think I can speak out against Mr. Harrison. Because I have Georgiana’s trust, I cannot betray her. If your sister affects another, then I will support her choice, but I will not try to convince her to go against her heart.”

“As my wife, you must do what I ask of you!” His voice rose in volume as he strode away from her.

Elizabeth’s face flushed.“Do not take the love, honor, and obey vow too seriously, Mr. Darcy. I am not of the nature to be reprimanded and expected to behave. My father tried for years, much to his chagrin, but I prefer sugar to vinegar in my dealings.”

“God, how did I become so ensnared?” Darcy threw up his hands in a lament.

A flash of anger sparked in her eyes.“Last night you seemed happy to be so ensnared!” Elizabeth nearly shouted.

“Please control your voice, Elizabeth,” Darcy seethed with fury.

“Of course, Mr. Darcy,” she spoke through gritted teeth. “Heaven forbid we show any emotion. Do you know, Fitzwilliam, you used to kiss me in front of the servants?”

“Maybe in Hertfordshire such lax impropriety is acceptable,” he quipped,“but I will maintain a standard at Pemberley.”

Elizabeth demanded sarcastically, “Please instruct me, Mr. Darcy—I am all ears. Make me an able student!”

Darcy moved in close so his words would not be misunderstood. “From what I experienced last night. . . .” He stopped short, stifling his words.

Emotion misted her eyes, and Elizabeth’s lip trembled, but her voice held no fear of Darcy’s presence. “Of what do you accuse me, Sir?”

“Nothing—I spoke out of place.” Darcy moved past her to return to his desk.

“Fitzwilliam, I cannot believe you think so poorly of me.” Tears streamed down her face.

“I never said anything,” he began.“I was surprised—that is all.”

She demanded,“Surprised! About what?”

“I assumed you might be. . . .”Again, Darcy could not say the words, but to Elizabeth’s dismay he, obviously, thought them.

Her voice shook, but Elizabeth spoke vehemently.“Sir, you seem to imply my low connections make me a pure wanton. What I know of the marriage bedroom, I learned from you. How dare you imply otherwise! It is my shame I love you enough to abandon my mother’s warnings. However, you will not have to worry about my shortcomings again; my bedroom door is closed to you, Sir.” Elizabeth turned on her heels and exited the room.

Why did he react to their night together as such? He did not object during the throes of desire. His wife knew exactly what flamed his passion, and when Elizabeth touched him, Darcy’s willpower crumbled; yet, he could not in the light of day justify how their passion went beyond the laws of propriety, and how he allowed himself to be placed in such a position. Darcy could not imagine any gentleman taking such pleasures in his wife—maybe in his mistress, but never in his wife. A wife was to be treated gently and with respect. The contradiction, however, was Darcy wanted Elizabeth; he wanted her more than he could admit even to himself, but his desires mortified him. If he were to take her again, Darcy would treat Elizabeth with more respect—the respect she deserved as his wife and the Mistress of Pemberley.

“I came to see if your headache subsided,” he stumbled through the words.

The coldness in her voice could not be hidden. “We both know, Fitzwilliam, a headache was not why I refused to come to the table.” Still, she spoke to her own reflection in the window rather than to Darcy.

“I am sorry to hear it,” he said softly as he stepped further into the room.“I did not wish you to be ill, but I would prefer your temporary discomfort to a more permanent riff between us. I should have tempered my words earlier.” By now, he stood at the foot of her bed.

“Tempering your words means nothing unless you changed your sentiment, too.”

Darcy pleaded,“Elizabeth, please look at me.”

Slowly, she turned her head, but Darcy saw only contempt in her eyes. “Do you have other commands for me to follow, Sir?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

“It was not an order,” he whispered.With a bit more effort he said, “I plan to leave for London early tomorrow. I hoped we could resolve this before I left.”

Needing to move, Elizabeth got up from her seat and started past him. “Tell me what you want me to say, Fitzwilliam, and I will say the words, and you may be on your merry way. It is getting late, and I have a busy day tomorrow pretending to be the Mistress of Pemberley.”

Darcy could not follow her line of thinking. “You are the Mistress of Pemberley,” he said flatly.

“I am your wife,” Elizabeth turned on him, “but without your respect and your love, I have no real identity. I am no better than your property—no better than your steward or your tenants or your valet. I perform my job as the Mistress of Pemberley, but I will not perform my job as chattel—as the woman with whom you take your pleasures but to whom you give no respect.”

Darcy reached for her, but Elizabeth shied away from him. “God, Elizabeth, I did not mean what I said. I am confused—my emotions are out of control; I cannot leave tomorrow knowing I caused you such pain.” His voice held his regret.

“Go, Mr. Darcy.” Her icy words had not softened. “I will manage the estate in your absence, just as I promised on our wedding night. Do not ask more of me; I do not think I can promise you anything beyond that.You hurt me as only you can do. I will not speak of this again except to tell you I am sorry to be such a disappointment to you.”

“Elizabeth,” he started, before a flip of her hand told him she was not finished.

“Why was what we experienced in the privacy of our bedroom for society to decide? Why is anything close to real intimacy to you a break in propriety? If I could take it all back, I would; I would take it and put it on the shelf, not to be disturbed again. For me, Fitzwilliam, being with you is like no other place I have ever been—we are great together. I thought with me you would not have to work so hard at being happy. Love cannot be planned like a society event—it happens. It is spontaneous.” Elizabeth’s voice rose as she began to pace once more.“Fitzwilliam, do you understand? Life happens despite all your best planning.”

Darcy turned away, not wishing to see the torment he caused her. “Elizabeth, things are different, but we said we did not want it to be different.”

“It is a logical catenation,” she said listlessly, defeated by the quagmire in which they found themselves. “At one time we were the greatest plan you ever made. Now, you feel embarrassed by me.” During this speech she crossed to the door leading to their sitting room and held it open for him. “Nothing can hurt me as much as your reaction to what we once shared. Good night, Mr. Darcy.”

He stood, mesmerized by her beauty, needing to touch her and wanting nothing more than to take Elizabeth to her bed and enjoy the sensation of loving her freely, but instead Darcy straightened his shoulders and strode from the room.

On the tray, a letter written in the fine scrawl with which she was now familiar lay. Elizabeth touched the letters “E. D.,” tracing them with her fingertips. Should she open it right away? If it was a request from Darcy for her to leave Pemberley, Elizabeth did not want to read the words. However, maybe he considered her words as he had long ago at Hunsford. Elizabeth could not believe their love could not survive; yet, Darcy’s behavior of late told her he preferred a different lifestyle from what they once knew.

Elizabeth sat the note to the side; she could not read it and then conduct her duties as Darcy’s wife. No matter what it said, she would wait. She would visit tenants with Georgiana; she would help plan the opening of the village school, along with advertising for a schoolmistress. Whatever Darcy had to say to her, Elizabeth’s fragile emotional state could do without.

Therefore, late morning found her making her way to bid farewell to Mr. Harrison. She found him alone in the drawing room and joined him in front of the fireplace. “Mr. Harrison, you will be sorely missed, Sir.”

Realizing Elizabeth’s delicate situation, Harrison offered her a compliment.“Your generosity in accepting me into your home, Mrs. Darcy, speaks well of you.”

Elizabeth half chuckled. “You are wise beyond your years, Mr. Harrison.”

“I am truly sorry Mr. Darcy’s homecoming created so much distress for you.” His voice and words comforted Elizabeth, but still tears misted her eyes.

“My husband,” she began with a slight catch in her throat, “believes he is doing what is best for his family.”

“Needless to say, I do not favor Mr. Darcy’s new resolve.”

Elizabeth wanted Harrison to know she could not help him in his pursuit of her sister. “I wish I could speak to Mr. Darcy, but I fear he no longer seeks my opinions.”

“Then it is much to his loss, Mrs. Darcy.”

“Mr. Harrison,” Elizabeth hesitated before asking, “would you tell me about your trips to the Americas? I would like to know about your voyages.”

Harrison searched Elizabeth’s face to know the truth of her question. “I have made three trips, Mrs. Darcy, since the age of two and ten,” he began. For the next hour, he told Elizabeth about the conditions one might find onboard ship and the settlements found in the American states. Harrison did not know why Elizabeth showed an interest in this topic, but as a woman he respected, Harrison would not deny her his insights.

“That is very interesting, Mr. Harrison.” She seemed deep in thought.

Harrison picked up on her serious nature. Finally, he said, “If I had a friend who felt the need to leave England, I certainly hope he would consult with me before going. I have many connections which would serve him well.”

Elizabeth lowered her eyes. “Your friends are privileged to know you, Sir.”

“I am afraid it is time for me to take my leave, Mrs. Darcy. With your permission I shall bid adieu to Miss Darcy before I go.” Harrison stood and made Elizabeth a bow.

“My sister will be sad to hear of your leaving; she will be in the music room.” Elizabeth no longer objected to Harrison; she trusted him to make Georgiana happy. “Tell Miss Darcy I await her for our tenant visits. Please have a safe journey, Mr. Harrison.” She gave him an appropriate curtsy before he left to find Georgiana.

Elizabeth broke off from reading the letter. So her husband prepared to carry out his plans; he would take Georgiana to London and leave Elizabeth at Pemberley to oversee his estate and wait for her lying in. Darcy promised an abbreviated season for Georgiana, but now there, would he abandon her for someone else more to his liking—maybe even this Miss McFarland? Obviously, Darcy esteemed the woman; otherwise, why would he mention her. Once she delivered a healthy heir, would Darcy send Elizabeth off to some other place, or worse, would he disengage himself completely? Would he take their child and apply for divorce? Her earlier worries resurfaced.

These thoughts sent Elizabeth into the deepest depression. What would she do if Darcy no longer allowed her to remain at Pemberley? Each day she felt their baby move within her, and Elizabeth wanted this baby. Yet, legally Darcy could take the child and leave her with nothing. Tears filled Elizabeth’s eyes again; it seemed all she did lately was cry.The fact she had any tears left surprised her.

“Quite busy,” Elizabeth nearly snapped. She stood quickly and turned to leave the room, but before she did, she crumpled the letter and threw it in the fireplace.

“Mr. Ashford,” she answered softly. “I wondered if I might see you today.”

He laughed lightly. “As if I could stay away from you, my dearest Katherine.”

Kitty let out a full laugh. “You cannot stay away from me, Mr.Ashford?”

“I fear I cannot; you stole my heart, dear lady.”Ashford took her hand in his, and Kitty gave him her version of an enigmatic smile. “I heard from your father, Miss Bennet. He gave his consent; if you are still of a mind to be my wife, I would be the happiest of men.”

Ashford searched Kitty’s face, looking for the reassurance he desperately needed from her. “Clayton, as you already know, I anticipate being your wife; that fact has not changed.” She caressed his jaw line.

“I love you, Katherine.” Ashford turned his head to kiss her palm.

Kitty giggled. “I do not know what I have done to earn your regard, Sir.”

“You did nothing, my Dearest; you simply have to smile at me or glance my way or enter a room, and I am lost to you.”

Kitty blushed from the intensity of his declaration. “Clayton,” she began before breaking off, but that was enough. He could see the desire in her eyes, and without forethought he leaned forward to kiss her lips tenderly.

When he withdrew, his next words showed how such an innocent act affected him. “May we set a date for our wedding?” he gasped.

Kitty laughed lightly; she thoroughly enjoyed the power she had over this complicated man. “I do not think I could consider a date until after my sister’s lying in. I would want Elizabeth there, for if not for her, we would never have met.”

“Six months,” he whispered the words, unsure of whether that was Kitty’s wish.

“Six months,” she laughed, “the first of September. Does the first Monday in September meet your approval, Sir?”

“Tomorrow would be more to my liking,” he teased, “or even this afternoon.”

Kitty reminded him,“We have no license.”

“I know the local vicar,” Ashford continued his jest. “I believe I could arrange it if only I could convince you to change your mind.”

“The first Monday in September,” Kitty repeated her assertion.

“A person should not wish his life away, but I wish the autumn approached rather than the spring.” Ashford stood and offered her his hand.“May we take a walk together, Miss Bennet?”

Ashford’s smile told Kitty how happy he felt. “I would enjoy a walk; may we continue our plans for our day?” Kitty wrapped her arm through his.

“As long as you agree to smile at me as you are doing now, I will be satisfied. The first Monday in September is not so long, is it?”

“Not so long before our dreams will be complete,” she giggled again.

Elizabeth offered no pretense; she dealt with the estate in an honest manner. The tenants doted on her, and the Derbyshire community offered a different type of loyalty—one based on respect rather than need. She was affectionate, and the way she teased him created a growing passion in Darcy he could no longer explain. His sister developed a loving relationship with his wife, and in many ways, Georgiana grew into a confident young woman under Elizabeth’s tutelage. Elizabeth Darcy challenged him intellectually, refused to be dominated by him, and performed her duties as the Mistress of Pemberley in an honorable manner; plus, her desires brought a flush to his being.

In the letter Darcy told her of his wishes. He wished he had not hurt her; he wished for Elizabeth’s forgiveness; he wished she would let him learn to love her again. More importantly, Darcy wished for her to never leave him. In the letter, he allowed his growing vulnerability to Elizabeth to be laid open. Now, she refused him a response; he asked her specifically to send him word of her exculpation, but Elizabeth’s wrath must be beyond quelling. Now, what must he do? It was a severe blow to his confidence.

Darcy knew when he returned to Pemberley, he would find Elizabeth doing her duty as his wife. She would smile when her duties required her to do so. She would say what was expected. She would give him an heir for the estate, but could Elizabeth love him again? He wanted her affection, not her obligation. How had it come to this? One moment he regretted aligning himself with Elizabeth Bennet; her Hertfordshire relations added nothing to his family; however, Darcy found when he thought of taking Elizabeth to his bed, a sensation of completeness washed over him. What could he do? He was a man caught between two worlds—two things he desired—two dreams.

“Oh, Kitty,” Georgiana nearly moaned, “you have no idea how much more you possess right here in Derbyshire.You won the affections of a man who loves you honestly and honorably. Mr.Ashford chose you because you complete him, not because you come with a purse to increase his wealth.You are assured of Mr. Ashford’s affections while I am to go to the highest bidder. Be careful of what you wish; it is not always something you want.”

“I am sorry, Georgiana,” Kitty offered her apology. “I thought only of the parties and the balls and the fine dresses. I was not thinking about your future. Of course, I would prefer Mr.Ashford’s attentions to the uncertainty you face.”