CHAPTER 12
“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps
from admiration to love,
from love to matrimony, in a moment.”
from love to matrimony, in a moment.”
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice,
1813
Darcy rode the horse hard across the lands
surrounding Darling Hall; agitation remained from the previous
night. He had not slept after physically removing Miss Donnelly
from his room. Her desperation meant he must be cautious. Having
the foresight to have Conrad sleep in his rooms saved him last
night. He would continue to do so. That would stymie her efforts to
seduce him into marriage.
He pulled up the horse and dismounted. Looking back
at the house from the rise to the left, he could see Miss
Donnelly’s coach leaving with the man he met in the study. This Mr.
Collins was dressed as a clergyman so Miss Donnelly, obviously, had
not abandoned her plans for marriage. The image of the woman
standing in his room last night sent revulsion pulsing through his
body.“She actually wore gloves to my bedroom,” he muttered.“How
could I even consider marriage to such a woman?”
Momentarily, Darcy thought of marrying Miss
Donnelly and immediately having her committed for the mentally
inept, but he knew that would mean being married until her
death—even if she were no longer in the home. No, he simply wanted
away from her—away from Darling Hall. The problem he faced was a
lack of funds.
Darcy had nothing. Even the horse he rode belonged
to the estate. If he took the horse, even with a promise to return
it, Miss Donnelly would likely send the constable after him.That
certainly would not get him back into good graces with his father,
and his belongings left from the robbery were of little value for
selling. Darcy’s quandary—his escape from the situation in which he
found himself—rested in a positive response from his father. He
would simply delay his departure from Darling Hall until the
fateful letter arrived.
The thing that shook his being, even more this
morning than his confrontation with Miss Donnelly last night, was
the dream in which he was lost to the woman. Darcy knew it was the
same woman—the woman of whom he dreamed each night. Only last
night, he finally saw her in the dream—not just felt her
presence—actually saw her face. Next to him, the woman was petite
and lilt, and his thoughts of her body next to his sent sensations
coursing through him even now. If he could possess such a woman,
then he thought he could feel contentment.
Mr. Collins’s departure sent Miss Donnelly into a
tailspin. She knew it would be only a matter of days before someone
knew of her plans. What would she do then? Needless to say, Mr.
Collins would send a dispatch to Mr. Darcy’s real family, and then
she would be found out. So, for several days she hid in her room,
expecting Mr. Darcy and his loved ones to demand to see her.Yet, a
week passed without notice, and she eventually returned to her
usual routine, although she still avoided Darcy.
Had she known more of Mr. Collins she would know he
did report seeing Mr. Darcy to his family. He told the person to
whom he owed his living: Mr. Collins told Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
Lady Catherine determined if her nephew wished to leave Elizabeth
Bennet for a more appropriate match, then who was she to interfere.
After all, her nephew demanded she stay out of his personal
affairs, and, on this, she would honor his
wishes.Therefore, no one knew of Darcy’s whereabouts but his aunt
and her faithful servant Mr. Collins.
First, Mr. Harrison came to the estate to help the
ladies with the running of Pemberley. A few days later, Jane and
Mr. Bingley reappeared. Finally, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Anne came
to stay. Although Elizabeth appreciated their kindness upon her
behalf, part of her wanted them to just go away. Darcy had been
missing for nearly six weeks, and Elizabeth’s nerves frayed with
the effort to maintain her composure.
The end of March approached, as well as the end of
Elizabeth’s fifth month of pregnancy. Her girth expanded, and her
need for Darcy’s assurances multiplied with each additional pound
added to their child’s growth.
“Edward,” she asked over tea,“why are you here?”
Elizabeth knew the answer before she asked the question.
“I came to see how things at Pemberley progressed
without my cousin here.”
“May I translate for you, Colonel? Lady Catherine
wanted you, as Georgiana’s guardian, to assure I did not corrupt
the Darcy line with my presence here.”
The colonel blushed with her accusations. “You know
my aunt too well,” he chuckled. “Yet, I did want to see how you
fared; you were always a favorite of mine, Mrs. Darcy, and I wanted
promises you did not lose hope.”With the kindness in his voice, the
colonel undid her natural defenses.
“I miss Fitzwilliam,” she sobbed, allowing herself
the comfort of knowing Edward would not judge her for this display
of femininity.
The colonel came around the table to take
Elizabeth’s hand. “It is a time when a woman would naturally feel
the stress of everyday life; your taking on the running of this
estate in my
cousin’s absence says he was a very astute man for having judged
your real worth.” Elizabeth collapsed into his outstretched arms,
tears flowing freely.
“I cannot go on without him,” Elizabeth’s voice
broke with emotion. “It is not fair—three months is not long
enough. Fitzwilliam and I wasted all those months fighting each
other when we should have been together, building a future.”
“He will come back.” Edward stroked her cheek
before using his handkerchief to dab away Elizabeth’s tears. “If he
is able, my cousin will return to you and to Pemberley.”
The colonel’s words, once she knew he spoke
honestly, brought Elizabeth a new resolve. She squared her
shoulders once again.“Thank you, Edward, I needed to hear those
words from someone who knows my dear husband as well as I. As long
as he is alive and safe, I will be happy.”
During the week Miss Donnelly hid herself away in
her room, Darcy took advantage of the reprieve to find out more
about her, the estate, and her family. From the servants he learned
of the demise of Miss Donnelly’s parents and of the legal binding
for her marriage, although the specifics regarding the additional
bequest were not clear. He learned many of the staff left the
estate with her takeover because of Miss Donnelly’s temper tantrums
and her fetish about cleaning. Darcy witnessed this firsthand.
Reportedly, only Mr. Lansing could reason with her, but most felt
he abused his power and lined his own pockets. As Darcy suspected,
the estate had money problems, and Miss Donnelly sold off some
family heirlooms to keep it afloat.
What was even more surprising, Darcy learned he was
not at Darling Hall prior to his attack. He suspected as much for a
long time, but now his suspicions regarding Miss Donnelly’s
deceit became truths.The question still remained why she did what
she did, and, more importantly, who was he really?
Mr.Addison called one afternoon to check Darcy’s
progress. When he had the opportunity, Darcy questioned the
man.“Mr. Addison, I understand you to say you are new to the
area?”
Addison examined the wounds to see how they healed.
“That is correct, Sir.”
“Then you do not know Miss Donnelly’s family?”
Darcy tried to sound nonchalant.
“Darling Hall is one of the biggest estates in the
area. I appreciate Miss Donnelly’s support,” Addison answered
instead of responding to the question.
“I understand your candid remarks, Mr. Addison,”
Darcy assured him. “Yet, do you know whether the Donnellys have
family in Hertfordshire?”
Mr. Addison put his medical instruments in his bag.
“I cannot say for sure, but it would not seem so. From what I know
of the family, they have deep roots in this area.”
“It is just as I suspected,” Darcy nearly mumbled,
deep in thought. “I have memories of a different family from the
one Miss Donnelly described to me. What should I do about this
discrepancy?”
“May I ask what you mean?” The doctor seemed
naturally curious.
“Miss Donnelly tells me I have an older brother who
inherited my father’s estate while I remember a younger sister, an
elderly father, and I am the person in charge. Which memory should
I believe, Mr.Addison?” Darcy looked confused.
The doctor asked kindly,“Do you dream, Sir?”
“I dream often of the family I described and of a
woman I first thought to be a fantasy, but now I think she is
real.” Sharing his inner thoughts embarrassed Darcy.
“Memories and dreams are closely related.Your
dreams are more reality than you realize, Sir.”
Darcy shifted his weight uncomfortably; the images
of the woman flitted across his mind’s eye. “Again, I thank you,
Mr. Addison; you gave me much to consider.”
Based on what he already knew, when the post
returned his letter sent to Lord Donnelly in Hertfordshire, Darcy
took it in stride. He planned how he would face Miss Donnelly and
demand the truth from her. Tomorrow would be the day he would
confront her.Tomorrow, Darcy would learn her secrets.
Elizabeth sat at Darcy’s desk going over the books
for the estate when a maid brought in the post. At first, she
thought she would wait until later to read the letter, but she
recognized a familiar script and took it in her hand, touching the
directions with her fingertips. “Ah, Charlotte, if we could go back
to a gentler time,” she mused out loud.
Elizabeth broke the seal and unfolded the paper to
read the news from Charlotte Collins. Their relationship once was
so close, but with Elizabeth’s refusal of her cousin’s proposal and
Charlotte’s eventual marriage to the ostentatious Mr. Collins,
Elizabeth lost respect for Charlotte. Elizabeth knew Charlotte,
never a romantic, chose Mr. Collins because she reasoned she
possessed so few marriage offers his would be the best she could
do. Elizabeth understood Charlotte’s motives, but she hated to see
her friend saddled with the supercilious Mr. Collins.
She leaned back in Darcy’s chair. The finely worn
leather gave Elizabeth comfort like no other piece of furniture in
the house did.The chair held his form etched in the cushions, and
Elizabeth often curled up in the chair to nap because she felt
Darcy’s form around her, holding her close to him. It was a silly
idea, but she learned to hold on to silly ideas of late.
My dear Lizzy,
I hide away in my room writing this for I want
neither Mr. Collins nor Lady Catherine to know I send this to you.
Lady Catherine would remove my husband from his position if she
finds out I share this, so I beg you to never tell from where you
learned this information. Mr. Collins recently returned from Brigg.
He was summoned there by a Miss Elizabeth Donnelly to perform a
wedding between Miss Donnelly and her cousin, reportedly the son of
a lord. Mr. Collins was anxious for such an honor, but he did not
perform the ceremony. Miss Donnelly sent him away immediately when
Mr. Collins recognized the groom to be your Mr. Darcy. Miss
Donnelly introduced the cousin to Mr. Collins, but Mr. Darcy did
not seem to recognize my husband.
Mr. Collins shared the knowledge with Lady
Catherine, but she swore him to secrecy.That is why I implore you
to keep knowledge of my involvement from others. Yet, I could not
sleep if I kept this news from you. I love you, Lizzy, as I would
my own sister.Your friend forever,
C. C.
Elizabeth’s hand shook so badly she could barely
read the words on the page, but she forced herself to reread the
letter again to be sure she saw it correctly. She was unsure where
Brigg was, but Elizabeth knew it to be near Hull, which made sense.
She screamed for a maid, knowing she could not stand on her
own.
“Yes, Mrs. Darcy.” The maid appeared
immediately.
“Send Miss Darcy and my family in to see me—now!”
she demanded.“Find Colonel Fitzwilliam also.”
The maid dropped a quick curtsy and then went off
at a near run to check the various rooms for family members.
Jane and Mr. Bingley were the first to enter.
Elizabeth’s distraught appearance scared Jane, who first thought it
to be a
problem with the baby. She rushed to Elizabeth’s side, and Bingley
poured a glass of water.“Is it the child?” Jane gasped.
“No,” Elizabeth began to stutter, “read . . . read
the . . . read the letter.” She shoved Charlotte’s letter into
Bingley’s hand.
Immediately Colonel Fitzwilliam appeared in the
doorway, followed closely by Georgiana. Darcy’s sister rushed to
Elizabeth’s side.
By now Bingley perused the letter. His voice shook,
but he exclaimed, “Capital, I knew Darcy lived!”
The colonel snatched the letter from Bingley’s hand
and started to read, but Georgiana asked him to read it out loud.
He started; yet Elizabeth stopped him to ask Jane to close the
study door first.“I want this news kept within this room.”
Slowly and meticulously, the colonel started his
recitation again. He cursed with the knowledge of Lady Catherine’s
involvement. “Thank you for keeping Anne out of this, Elizabeth,”
he offered.
“It is important to me to protect Charlotte. I do
not care what happens to Mr. Collins, but Charlotte does not
deserve Lady Catherine’s censure.”
“We must go after Fitzwilliam at once,” Georgiana
spoke up first.
The colonel agreed. “We will tell everyone Mr.
Howard’s inquiries finally paid off, and we heard where Darcy might
be. We will not mention Mrs. Collins to anyone; does everyone
concur?”
“Of course.” Georgiana came around to look at the
letter herself.
“I would like to go with you, Colonel,” Bingley
added. “Darcy is my best friend.”
“I am going also,” Georgiana stated.
Elizabeth started forward, but Jane caught her
hand. “Elizabeth, you cannot think of going.You are too far with
child to go.They must travel quickly, and you will just slow them
down.”
“But Jane,” Elizabeth started, although she knew
the truth of her eldest sister’s words.
“We will bring my brother home.” Georgiana
encircled Elizabeth with her arms.
“Then waste no time,” Elizabeth began to usher them
toward the door.“I will order the coach. Please hurry, Edward; I am
so frightened. If Fitzwilliam did not openly recognize Mr. Collins,
that could mean he is in some kind of trouble.”
“We will not come back without Darcy,” Bingley
added with an air of bravado.
Then the three were out the door and headed to
their rooms, leaving Elizabeth with her steadfast sister Jane.
“Elizabeth, have a seat.”
“I cannot, Jane; Fitzwilliam could be home within a
few days. I think I will go help Georgiana.There are things I want
her to say to my husband. Why do you not go help Mr. Bingley? We
may speak more once they are gone off to Brigg.” Elizabeth held the
door open. “Come, Jane; my prayers have been answered.”
Darcy descended the staircase as quietly as he
could. Of late, Miss Donnelly made a point of disappearing when he
approached a room. Today, he wanted the opportunity to finally face
her. The door to the study stood ajar, but Darcy recognized the two
figures that occupied the room.
His first inclination told him to enter
immediately, but his instinct told him to hold back. So, he stood
near the open door and listened to their exchange.
“What happened to the cleric?” Mr. Lansing demanded
as he paced back and forth.
Miss Donnelly looked frustrated. She unconsciously
removed her gloves and then replaced them, pulling the kid covering
on
one finger at a time.“I sent the pretentious ass away.”
“But why?” Darcy was surprised at the familiarity
with which Lansing addressed his mistress.
“He knew Frederick’s real identity,” she confided
at last.
Lansing stopped in front of Miss Donnelly and took
up a dominant position.“That was a costly mistake.”
“How was I to know his cousin was married to the
man?” Miss Donnelly nearly whined.
Darcy listened carefully. Obviously, they spoke of
him, but he possessed no memory of the clergyman he met several
days ago nor did he know anything of a wife.
Miss Donnelly pressed down the seam along each
finger of the right glove with the other hand. “The plan fell apart
at that point.”
“The plan fell apart when he threw you out of his
bedroom,” Lansing accused.
Miss Donnelly began to sob.“I made a mess of
everything.” She covered her face with her hands, indicating her
remorse.
Lansing moved in closer and placed his arm
leisurely around her shoulders. “There is no need for tears,” he
began and then cleared his throat before speaking again.“We may
still fix this.”
“But how?” Miss Donnelly buried her face into his
shoulder for comfort.
Her behavior appalled Darcy.The man was the steward
for the estate; he clearly overstepped his bounds, and Miss
Donnelly accepted his attentions willingly. However, even though
Darcy disapproved, he did nothing because such actions on the part
of Miss Donnelly could easily be justified as grounds for
terminating their engagement if she chose to make an issue of it.
Although Darcy knew their relationship was a sham, he still had
trouble delineating what was real and what was not.
“Miss Donnelly, you must by now realize my regard
for you,” Mr. Lansing tried to assure her. “We both know you had
your heart set on marrying a fine gentleman, but the codicil your
parents placed on the inheritance simply says you must marry. It
does not stipulate to whom. If you will consider it, I would offer
myself as an alternative.”
Miss Donnelly raised her face to look squarely at
Mr. Lansing.“Are you sure that will work?”
“We may have your solicitor review the document,
but I read it.We could take over the estate together and run it as
we should.” Lansing took the woman’s gloved hand in his.
“Would we then get the monetary settlement?” she
asked unbelievingly.
“I am persuaded as such,” Lansing told her. “So,
will you accept my offer?”
“It seems I have no other choice; it would,
therefore, be my honor,” she whispered. Lansing took her in his
arms, carefully making a point not to touch her skin on skin.
At this point, Darcy made his entrance, capturing
their tender moment forever in their minds. “It seems you, Madam,
chose to leave my affections behind.” Darcy’s voice boomed through
the room.
Miss Donnelly looked aghast, but Mr. Lansing did
not release his hold on her. The man found his voice first. “Miss
Donnelly did nothing wrong. You must realize there was a mistake
made on your behalf.”
“A mistake?” Darcy accused.“A mistake, Sir, is a
result of an accident—something unplanned—you and Miss Donnelly
planned to deceive. Did you not? I heard you say as much a few
moments ago.”
“I never meant to hurt you.” Miss Donnelly turned
to Darcy, her tear-stained face showing some regret, but Darcy
wondered whether it came from a result of the pain she caused him
or from the fact her plan failed miserably.
“You lied to me.” Darcy stepped closer to emphasize
the point. “You said my name was Frederick Donnelly.What is it in
reality?”
Lansing helped the lady to a seat before she
answered. Her voice quivered with emotion.“Your name is Fitzwilliam
Darcy.”
Darcy demanded,“How do we know each other?”
“We met in London at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Hurst
about a year ago,” she explained. Lansing sat beside her and took
Miss Donnelly’s hand in his.
“I remember no one by the name of Hurst.”
“I did not know who you were when we found you on
the road—only after we brought you here. We spoke often at the
party so I remembered you. That part makes sense—unfortunately, the
rest does not. I need to marry to secure an inheritance. Your
memory loss made it so easy to exaggerate the truth. Foolishly, I
thought you would not deny me, even if your memory returned—you
would owe me a debt.” By now, the words were peppered with Miss
Donnelly’s sobs.
Darcy had her where he wanted her; Miss Donnelly
openly admitted her guilt.“What else do you know of my real
family?” Darcy’s authoritative nature required Miss Donnelly
respond truthfully.When he took that resolve, few could deny
him.
“Actually, Sir, very little—we met only the one
time. You are from somewhere in Derbyshire.”
“And who was the clergyman?” Darcy cut in.
She looked around nervously. “I met Sir William
Lucas,” Miss Donnelly began.
“You mentioned him before,” Darcy interrupted
again.
Miss Donnelly swallowed hard. “Sir William Lucas
comes from Hertfordshire; the clergyman Mr. Collins is Sir
William’s son by marriage. Mr. Collins claims you are married to
his cousin.”
“I find that fact hard to believe; even if I am not
your cousin, obviously, I am of higher rank than that insipid man I
met in your study the other day,” Darcy reasoned.“How could I be
married to someone in his family?”
“We cannot answer that question, Sir.” Having been
silent too long, Lansing joined the conversation.
“Cannot or will not answer?” Darcy insisted.
“Cannot,” Lansing reaffirmed. “It was happenstance
Mr. Collins ended up here.There is little else we can tell
you.”
“And—my accident—what of it?” Darcy took a dominant
position in front of the mantelpiece.
“The coach was ransacked—your things scattered
about the grounds. Miss Donnelly ordered us to save what we could,
but most things of value were taken before we arrived,” Lansing
recited.“Your driver and postilion were dead, and you were left
bleeding. Evidently, you were struck several times. Plus, you hit
your head on a large rock.” Darcy actually had a flash of memory of
a blond gentleman snarling down from horseback at him.
Unconsciously, he nodded with the words.
“Anything else?”
“Nothing of merit,” Miss Donnelly
interjected.
“Then where does that leave us in the situation you
created here?” Darcy’s anger returned.
Mr. Lansing would not be intimidated by the tone of
Darcy’s voice. “It seems prudent we help you to get on your way as
soon as possible. We will arrange for the coach to take you into
the village. You may stay at the inn until the next coach to London
leaves day after tomorrow. Appropriate passage from there would be
easily arranged.”
“You plan to send me off to London without my
knowing any more than what you have told me?” Darcy looked on in
disbelief.
Lansing wanted to be rid of the stranger so he
could advance his own plans with Miss Donnelly. “How else might we
be of service to you, Sir? You can only find your way if you leave
here. Perhaps someone in Derbyshire will recognize you.”
“So I am just to roam around Derbyshire until
someone recognizes me? That is not much of a plan, now is it,
Sir?”
“We could contact Mr. Collins for more information
or even Sir William Lucas,” Miss Donnelly reasoned.
Darcy began to pace.“I suppose that is a
start.”
Miss Donnelly got up and moved to the desk. “It
seems reasonable,” she started, “to compensate you for the pain we
caused you, Mr. Darcy.”
“In other words, you wish me to not call the
constable,” Darcy said sarcastically.
“The constable will not solve your problem,”
Lansing added quickly. “Miss Donnelly saved your life, Sir; if not
for her, you would be dead by now. Do not forget you owe her that
much forgiveness.”
Darcy chuckled lightly. “I shall permit Miss
Donnelly to continue here at Darling Hall; however, my forgiveness
is not likely to come.”
“Mr. Darcy, I wronged you. I can only hope you will
find your real family soon.You know your name and from where you
come; your search cannot be that difficult.You are a well-known
gentleman in London. This task cannot be as bothersome as you
portray it to be.” Miss Donnelly took control once more. “A Bow
Street runner could bring you the information you seek within a
day.”
Lansing jumped at the chance. “It seems a hundred
pounds is ample compensation to allow you to find your way
home.”
“I was thinking more like two hundred pounds,”
Darcy countered.
Lansing wanted to barter, but Miss Donnelly cut him
off by readily agreeing to the two hundred pounds. Removing the
payment from the safe, she added, “I will have Conrad pack your
things; the coach will be ready to take you into the village in an
hour.” With those words, she dismissed Darcy. Miss Donnelly spent
all the energy and time she would with her
failed attempt at marriage. Mr. Lansing awaited her, and she
wanted to move on. She went through what was expected of her in the
form of regret, but the lady was not of the nature to dwell on her
mistakes; she was a woman of action.
Handing Darcy the funds, she walked over to Lansing
and took his arm while saying, “We have things to discuss, Sir.”
They left the room immediately.
Darcy stood in disbelief.“It figures,” he said
sarcastically. He looked at the money in his hand and then laughed
out loud.“I guess I am to Derbyshire.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam found rooms for himself,
Bingley, and Georgiana at the inn in Brigg and then he secured
directions to the estate owned by Miss Donnelly. Once they unpacked
and settled in, the three of them would find out what Miss Donnelly
knew of Darcy.
“I am so nervous,” Georgiana told the two men. “I
cannot imagine my brother staying away from Pemberley on
purpose.”
“Mrs. Collins’s letter held elements of
incredulity. Why would Darcy not respond to seeing Mr. Collins? It
makes little sense,” Bingley added.
They took tea in the inn as the stable harnessed
fresh horses for their journey to Darling Hall. “My cousin cannot
be in a good way. Darcy could not pledge himself to Miss Donnelly;
Mr. Collins must be mistaken.” Colonel Fitzwilliam shifted his
weight uncomfortably.
Bingley stood. “I think I will check on the
progress of the coach; I will return in a few minutes.” He made his
traveling partners a quick bow and left the inn.
“I am sure news of Darcy and this Donnelly woman
does not sit well with Mr. Bingley,” the colonel thought out loud.
“With his wife being Elizabeth’s sister, he must have trouble
considering Darcy might abandon Elizabeth. Bingley would be forced
to face Darcy as a matter of honor.”
Georgiana gasped, “Edward, you cannot think as such
about Fitzwilliam; he adores Elizabeth!”
“I agree, Georgiana, but something bizarre is
happening here. If Darcy is healthy, why has he not returned home?
Could he consider Elizabeth’s connections to be a detriment after
all?”
Georgiana began to sob. “Please do not say such
things. How can you say you love Anne and think Fitzwilliam does
not love Elizabeth? True love must exist in this world.”
“I am sorry, Georgiana.” Concerned his words upset
his cousin, the colonel took her hand in his.“Of course, there must
be a different explanation. There is too much chaos of late for any
of us to think clearly. Darcy loves Elizabeth as I love
Anne.”