THE BEAST
The entire time he’d been at Brakebills, through
First Year, the exams, the whole disaster with Penny, right up
until the night he joined the Physical Kids, Quentin had been
holding his breath without knowing it. He realized only now that
he’d been waiting for Brakebills to vanish around him like a
daydream. Even aside from the many and varied laws of
thermodynamics that were violated there on a regular basis, it was
just too good to be true. It was like Fillory that way. Fillory
never lasted forever. Ember and Umber promptly kicked the Chatwins
out at the end of every book. Deep down Quentin felt like a tourist
who at the end of the day would be herded back onto some dirty,
lumbering, snorting tour bus—with ripped vinyl seats and overhead
TVs and a stinking toilet—and shipped home, clutching a tacky
souvenir postcard and watching as the towers and hedges and peaks
and gables of Brakebills dwindled in the rearview mirror.
But it hadn’t happened. And now he understood, he
really got, that it wasn’t going to happen. He’d wasted so much
time thinking, It’s all a dream, and It should have been somebody
else, and Nothing lasts forever. It was time he started acting like
who he was: a nineteen-year-old student at a secret college for
real, actual magic.
Now that he was in among them he had some leisure
to observe the Physical Kids up close. When he first met Eliot,
Quentin assumed that everyone at Brakebills would be like him, but
in fact that wasn’t the case at all. For one thing, even in this
rarefied setting Eliot’s bizarre personal manner set him apart. For
another, he was conspicuously brilliant in class—maybe not quite as
quick as Alice, but Alice worked her ass off and Eliot didn’t even
try, or if he did he hid it very, very well. As far as Quentin
could tell he never studied at all. The only thing in the world
that he would actually cop to caring about was his appearance,
especially his expensive shirts, which he wore with cuff links,
even though it cost him regular menial punishments for violating
the dress code.
Josh always wore the standard school uniform but
managed to make it look like he didn’t—his jacket never quite fit
his wide, round build, it was always twisted or rumpled or too
narrow in the shoulders. His whole personality was like an
elaborate joke that he never stopped telling. It took Quentin a
while to figure out that Josh expected people not to take him
seriously, and he enjoyed—not always kindly—the moment when they
realized, too late, that they’d underestimated him. Because he
wasn’t as self-absorbed as Eliot or Janet he was the group’s
sharpest observer, and he missed very little of what went on around
him. He told Quentin that he’d been waiting for Penny to snap for
weeks:
“Are you kidding? That guy was a mystery wrapped in
an enigma and crudely stapled to a ticking fucking time bomb. He
was either going to hit somebody or start a blog. To tell you the
truth I’m kind of glad he hit you.”
Unlike the other Physical Kids Josh was an
undistinguished student, but once he’d mastered a skill he was an
exceptionally forceful spellcaster. It was a full six weeks into
his first year at Brakebills before he was able to move his marble
by magic, but when he finally did—as Eliot told the story—it shot
through a classroom window and buried itself six inches in the
trunk of a maple tree outside, where it probably still was.
Janet’s parents were lawyers, of the high-flying
Hollywood-consorting variety, and colossally wealthy. She grew up
in L.A. being babysat by various celebrities, whom under duress—but
not very much duress—she would name. Quentin supposed that
accounted for the vivid, actressy edge to her manner. She was the
most visible of the Physical Kids, loud and brusque and always
proposing toasts at dinner. She had terrible taste in men—the best
that could be said of her endless series of boyfriends is that none
of them lasted long. Pretty rather than beautiful, she had a flat,
flapperish figure, but she used what she had to maximum
advantage—she sent her uniforms back home to be tailored—and there
was something vibrantly sexy about her ravenous, too-wide gaze. You
wanted to meet it and be devoured by it.
Janet was about as annoying as a person could be
and still be your friend, but Quentin was never bored around her.
She was passionately loyal, and if she was obnoxious it was only
because she was so deeply tender-hearted. It made her easily
wounded, and when she was wounded she lashed out. She tortured
everybody around her, but only because she was more tortured than
anyone.
Even though he was part of the Physical Kids now,
Quentin still spent most of his time with the other Third Years: he
took his classes with them, and worked with them in P.A., and
studied for exams with them, and sat with them at dinner. The Maze
had been scrambled and redrawn over the summer—as it was every
summer, it turned out—and they spent a week’s worth of afternoons
relearning it, yelling at one another over the tall hedges when
they got lost or found an especially sweet shortcut.
They threw a party in honor of the fall
equinox—there was a strong undercurrent of Wiccan sentiment at
Brakebills, though hardly anybody took it seriously except the
Naturals. They had a bonfire and music and a Wicker Man, and a
light show by the Illusionists, and everybody stayed out way too
late, their noses running in the cold fall air, their faces hot and
red from the fire. Alice and Quentin taught the others the
fire-shaping spell, which was a big hit, and Amanda Orloff revealed
that she’d been brewing a batch of mead on the sly for the past
couple of months. It was sweet and fizzy and disgusting, and they
all drank way too much of it and felt like death the next
day.
That fall Quentin’s studies changed again. There
was less rote learning of gestures and arcane languages, though God
knows there was plenty of that, and more actual spellcasting. They
spent an entire month on low-level architectural magic: spells to
strengthen foundations and rain-proof roofs and keep gutters free
of rotting leaves, all of which they practiced on a pathetic little
shed barely larger than a doghouse. Just one spell, to make a roof
resistant to lightning, took Quentin three days to memorize,
grinding the gestures in a mirror to get them exactly right, at the
proper speed and with the proper angles and emphasis. And then
there was the incantation, which was in a corrupt old Bedouin
Arabic and very tricky. And then Professor March conjured a little
rainstorm which emitted a single lightning bolt that sheared
through it in one eye-searing, ego-demolishing instant, while
Quentin stood there getting soaked to the skin.
On alternate Tuesdays Quentin worked with Bigby,
the Physical Kids’ unofficial faculty advisor, who turned out be a
small man with large liquid eyes and close-cropped gray hair who
dressed neatly, if extremely affectedly, in a long
Victorian-looking duster. His posture was slightly hunched, but he
didn’t seem otherwise frail or crippled. Quentin had the impression
that Bigby was a political refugee from somewhere. He was always
making vague noises about the conspiracy that had ousted him, and
what he would do following his inevitable return to power. He had
the stiff, wounded dignity of the deposed intelligentsia.
One afternoon during a seminar—Bigby specialized in
ridiculously difficult enchantments that transmuted elements by
manipulating their structure on a quantum level—he paused and
performed an odd gesture: he reached back behind first one
shoulder, then the other, unbuttoning something back there. The
movement reminded Quentin of nothing more than a woman unhooking
her bra. When Bigby was finished four magnificent insect wings like
a dragonfly’s, two on each side, sprang out from behind him. He
flexed them with a deep, satisfied sigh.
The wings were gauzy and iridescent. They
disappeared for a second in a buzz of activity, then reappeared as
they became still.
“Sorry,” he said. “Couldn’t stand it a minute
more.”
It never stopped, the weirdness of this place. It
just went on and on.
“Professor Bigby, are you a—” Quentin stopped. A
what? An elf? An angel? He was being rude, but he couldn’t help it.
“Are you a fairy?”
Bigby smiled a pained smile. His wings made a dry
chitinous rattle.
“Pixie, technically,” he said.
He seemed a little sensitive about it.
One morning, very early, Professor March was
giving a lecture on weather magic and summoning cyclonic wind
patterns. For a portly man he was surprisingly spry. Just looking
at him bouncing on his toes, with his red ponytail and his red
face, made Quentin want to go back to bed. In the mornings Chambers
served tarry black espresso which he smelted in a delicate,
gilded-glass exotic Turkish device. But it was all gone by the time
Quentin came down for class.
He closed his eyes. When he opened them again
Professor March was addressing him directly.
“. . . between a subtropical cyclone and an
extratropical? Quentin? In the French, please, if you can.”
Quentin blinked. He must have drifted off.
“The difference?” he hazarded. “There is no
difference?”
There was a long, awkward pause, into which Quentin
inserted more words in an attempt to find out what exactly the
question had been, and to say “baroclinic zones” as many times as
possible just in case they were relevant. People shifted in their
chairs. March, having caught the delicious scent of humiliation,
was prepared to wait. Quentin waited, too. There was something in
the reading about this. He’d actually done it, that was the
injustice of it.
The moment stretched on and on. His face was on
fire. This wasn’t even magic, it was meteorology.
“I don’t understand—” came a voice from the back of
the classroom.
“I’m asking Quentin, Amanda.”
“But maybe you could clarify something?” It was
Amanda Orloff. She persisted, with the shit-eating blitheness of
somebody who had academic cred to burn. “For the rest of us?
Whether these are barotropic cyclones or not? I find it a little
confusing.”
“They are all barotropic, Amanda,” March said,
exasperated. “It’s irrelevant. All tropical cyclones are
barotropic.”
“But I thought one was barotropic and one was
baroclinic,” Alice put in.
The resulting mass wrangle ended up being so inane
and time-consuming that March was forced to abandon Quentin and
move on or lose the entire thread of the lecture. If he could have
done so unobtrusively, Quentin would have run back to where Amanda
Orloff was sitting and kissed her on her broad, unmoisturized
forehead. Instead he settled for blowing her a kiss when March
wasn’t looking.
March had segued into a lengthy spell that involved
sketching an elaborate mandala-like symbol on the chalkboard. He
stopped every thirty seconds and stepped back to the edge of the
stage, hands on hips, whispering to himself, then dove back into
the design. The point of the spell was fairly trivial—it either
guaranteed hail or prevented it, one or the other, Quentin wasn’t
really following, and anyway the principle was the same.
Either way, Professor March was struggling with it.
The spell was in a very proper and precise Medieval Dutch that
evidently wasn’t his forte. It occurred to Quentin that it might be
nice if he screwed it up. He hadn’t particularly enjoyed being
called out on technical minutiae this early in the morning. He
would play a tiny prank.
Brakebills classrooms were proofed against most
forms of mischief, but it was well known that the podium was any
teacher’s Achilles’ heel. You couldn’t do much to it, but the wards
on it weren’t quite ironclad, and with a lot of effort and some
body English you could get it to rock back and forth a little.
Maybe that would be enough to throw Professor March (the students
called him “Death” March) off his game. Quentin made a few small
gestures under his desk, between his knees. The podium stirred, as
if it were stretching a kink in its back, then became inert again.
Success.
March was reeling off some extra Old High Dutch.
His attention flicked down at the podium as he felt it move, and he
hesitated but recovered his concentration and forged ahead. It was
either that or start the whole spell over.
Quentin was disappointed. But Infallible Alice
leaned over.
“Idiot,” she whispered. “He dropped the second
syllable. He should have said—”
Just then, for an instant, the film of reality
slipped off the spokes of its projector. Everything went completely
askew and then righted itself again as if nothing had happened.
Except that, like a continuity error in a movie, there was now a
man standing behind Professor March.
He was a small man, conservatively dressed in a
neat gray English suit and a maroon club tie that was fixed in
place with a silver crescent-moon pin. Professor March, who was
still talking, didn’t seem to realize he was there—the man looked
out at the Third Years archly, conspiratorially, as if they were
sharing a joke at the teacher’s expense. There was something odd
about the man’s appearance—Quentin couldn’t seem to make out his
face. For a second he couldn’t figure out why, and then he realized
it was because there was a small leafy branch in front of it that
partially obscured his features. The branch came from nowhere. It
was attached to nothing. It just hung there in front of the man’s
face.
Then Professor March stopped speaking and froze in
place.
Alice had stopped, too. The room was silent. A
chair creaked. Quen tin couldn’t move either. There was nothing
restraining him, but the line between his brain and his body had
been cut. Was the man doing this? Who was he? Alice was still
leaned over slightly in his direction, and a fly-away wisp of her
hair hung in his field of vision. He couldn’t see her eyes; the
angle was wrong. Everything and everybody was still. The man on the
stage was the only thing in the world still in motion.
Quentin’s heart started to pound. The man cocked
his head and frowned, as if he could hear it. Quentin didn’t
understand what had happened, but something had gone wrong.
Adrenaline poured into his bloodstream, but it had nowhere to go.
His brain was boiling in its own juices. The man began strolling
around the stage, exploring his new environment. His demeanor was
that of a gentleman balloonist who had accidentally touched down in
exotic surroundings: inquisitive, amused. With the branch in front
of his face his intentions were impossible to read.
He circled Professor March. There was something
strange about the way he moved, something too fluid about his gait.
When he walked into the light, Quentin saw that he wasn’t quite
human, or if he had been once he wasn’t anymore. Below the cuffs of
his white shirt his hands had three or four too many fingers.
Fifteen minutes crawled by, then half an hour.
Quentin couldn’t turn his head, and the man moved in and out of his
field of view. He puttered with Professor March’s equipment. He
toured the auditorium. He took out a knife and pared his
fingernails. Objects stirred and shifted restlessly in place
whenever he walked too near them. He picked up an iron rod from
March’s demonstration table and bent it like a piece of licorice.
Once he cast a spell—he spoke too fast for Quentin to catch the
details—that made all the dust in the room fly up and whirl crazily
in the air before settling down again. It had no other obvious
effect. When he cast the spell, the extra fingers on his hands bent
sideways and backward.
An hour passed, then another. Quentin’s fear came
and went and came back in huge sweating rushes, crashing waves. He
was sure something very bad was happening, it just wasn’t clear yet
exactly what. He knew it had something to do with his joke on
March. How could he have been so stupid? In a cowardly way he was
glad he couldn’t move. It spared him from having to attempt
something brave.
The man seemed barely aware that he was in a room
full of people. There was something grotesquely comic about him—his
silence was like that of a mime. He approached a ship’s clock that
hung at the back of the stage and slowly put his fist through it—he
didn’t punch it, he forced his hand into its face, breaking the
glass and snapping the hands and crushing the mechanism inside
until he was satisfied that it was destroyed. It was as if he
thought he would hurt it more that way.
Class should have been over ages ago. Somebody on
the outside must have noticed by now. Where were they? Where was
Fogg? Where the hell was that paramedic-nurse-woman when you really
needed her? He wished he knew what Alice was thinking. He wished he
could have turned his head just a few degrees more before he’d been
frozen, so he could see her face.
Amanda Orloff’s voice broke the silence. She must
have gotten loose somehow and was chanting a spell, rhythmically
and rapidly but calmly. The spell was like nothing Quentin had ever
heard, an angry, powerful piece of magic, full of vicious
fricatives—it was offensive magic, battle magic, designed to
literally rip an opponent to pieces. Quentin wondered how she’d
even learned it. Just knowing a spell like that was way off-limits
at Brakebills, let alone casting it. But before she could finish
her voice became muffled. It went higher and higher, faster and
faster, like a tape speeding up, then faded out before she could
finish. The silence returned.
Morning turned into afternoon in a fever dream of
panic and boredom. Quentin went numb. He heard signs of activity
from outside. He could see only one window, and that was out of the
very corner of his eye, but something was going on out there,
blocking the light. There were sounds of hammering and, very
faintly, six or seven voices chanting in unison. A tremendous,
silent flash of light burst behind the door to the corridor with
such force that the thick wood glowed translucent for an instant.
There were rumblings as if somebody were trying to break through
the floor from underneath. None of this visibly bothered the man in
the gray suit.
In the window a single red leaf flapped crazily in
the wind on the end of a bare branch, having hung on longer into
the fall than any of its fellows. Quentin watched it. The wind
flailed the leaf back on forth on the end of its stem. It seemed
like the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. All he wanted was
to go on looking at it for one minute longer. He would give
anything for that, just one more minute with his little red
leaf.
He must have slipped into a trance, or fallen
asleep—he didn’t remember. He woke up to the sound of the man on
stage singing softly and high under his breath. His voice was
surprisingly tender:
“Bye, baby Bunting
Daddy’s gone a-hunting
Gone to get a rabbit skin
To wrap his baby Bunting in”
Daddy’s gone a-hunting
Gone to get a rabbit skin
To wrap his baby Bunting in”
He lapsed into humming. Then, with no warning, he
vanished.
It happened so silently and so suddenly that at
first Quentin didn’t notice he was gone. In any case his departure
was upstaged by Professor March, who’d been standing onstage the
entire time with his mouth open. The instant the man was gone March
crumpled forward bonelessly off the stage and knocked himself cold
on the hardwood floor.
Quentin tried to stand up. Instead he slid off his
chair, down onto the floor between the rows of seats. His arms,
legs, and back were hideously cramped. There was no strength in
them. Slowly, lying on the floor in a mixture of agony and relief,
he stretched out his legs. Delicious bubbles of pain released in
his knees, as if he were finally unbending them after a
trans-hemispherical flight in coach. Tears of relief started in his
eyes. It was over. The man was finally gone and nothing terrible
had happened. Alice was groaning, too. A pair of shoes, probably
hers, was in his face. The whole room rocked with moans and
sobs.
Afterward Quentin would learn that Fogg had
mustered the entire staff almost immediately, as soon as the man
had made his appearance. The school’s defensive spells detected him
instantly, even if they didn’t keep him out. By all accounts Fogg
made a surprisingly competent battlefield commander: calm,
organized, rapid and accurate in his assessment of the situation,
skillful in his deployment of the resources at his disposal.
Over the course of the morning an entire temporary
scaffold had been constructed around the outside of the tower.
Professor Heckler, wearing a welder’s helmet to shield his eyes,
had nearly set the tower on fire with pyrotechnical attacks.
Professor Sunderland had heroically attempted to phase herself
through the wall, but to no avail, and anyway it wasn’t clear what
she would have done if she succeeded. Even Bigby made an
appearance, deploying some exotic nonhuman witchcraft that—Quentin
got the impression—had made the rest of the faculty a little
uncomfortable.
That evening after dinner, after the usual
announcements about clubs and events and activities had been
sullenly and desultorily attended to, Dean Fogg addressed the
student body to try to explain what had happened.
He stood at the head of the long dining room table,
looking older than usual, as the candles guttered down and the
First Years gloomily cleared the last of the silverware. He fussed
with his cuffs and touched his temples where he was losing his thin
blond hair.
“It will not come as a surprise to many of you that
there are other worlds besides our own,” he began. “This is not
conjecture, it is fact. I have never been to these worlds, and you
will never go there. The art of passing between worlds is an area
of magic about which very little is known. But we do know that some
of these worlds are inhabited.
“Probably the beast we met today was physically
quite vast.” (“The Beast” was what Fogg called the thing in the
gray suit, and afterward nobody ever referred to it any other way.)
“What we saw would have been a small part of it, an extremity it
chose to push into our sphere of being, like a toddler groping
around in a tide pool. Such phenomena have been observed before.
They are known in the literature as Excrescences.
“Its motivations are difficult to guess.” He sighed
heavily. “To such beings we look like swimmers paddling timidly
across the surface of their world, silhouetted against the light
from above, sometimes diving a little below the surface but never
going very deep. Ordinarily they pay no attention to us.
Unfortunately something about Professor March’s incantation today
caught the Beast’s attention. I understand it may have been
corrupted or interrupted in some way. That error offered the Beast
an opportunity to enter our world.”
At this Quentin convulsed inwardly but kept his
face composed. It had been him. He had done it. Fogg went on.
“The Beast spiraled up out of the depths, like a
deep-water shark intent on seizing a swimmer from below. Its
motivations are impossible to imagine, but it did appear as if it
was looking for something, or someone. I do not know whether it
found what it was looking for. We may never know.”
Ordinarily Fogg projected an air of certainty and
confidence, tempered by his natural slight ridiculousness, but that
night he looked disoriented. He lost his train of thought. He
fingered his tie.
“The incident is finished now. The students who
witnessed the incident will all be examined, medically and
magically, and then cleansed in case the Beast has marked or tagged
or tainted them. Tomorrow’s classes are canceled.”
He stopped there and left the room abruptly.
Everybody had thought he would say more.
But all that came much later. Lying on the floor
after the attack, the agony fading from his arms and legs and back,
Quentin felt only good things. He felt relieved to be alive.
Disaster had been averted. He had made a terrible mistake, but
everything was all right now. He felt a profound gratitude for the
old, splintery wooden underside of the chair he was looking up at.
It was fascinating and beautiful. He could have looked at it
forever. It was even a little thrilling to have been through
something like that and lived to tell about it. In a way he was a
hero. He breathed deeply and felt the good solid floor under his
back. The first thing he wanted to do, he realized, was to put his
hand reassuringly on Alice’s warm soft ankle, which was next to his
head. He was so grateful to be able to finally look at her
again.
He didn’t know yet that Amanda Orloff was dead. The
Beast had eaten her alive.