Chapter 1: Five Keys to a Great Relationship

We all want someone to love and to be loved in return – someone you can share friendship, laughter, caring, work, and support in both the good times and the bad. Everyone deeply desires this kind of relationship but many couples fail to achieve it.

This book aims to teach you step by step, the process of improving your romantic or marital relationship. These will help you restore your friendship, love and fun that were once there. If you are having a great relationship with the one you love, this will help you to keep it that way and nurture your happy relationship.

This book tackles on increasing your intimacy and connections within your relationship and at the same time increasing your understanding of your partner, as well as self-awareness. This also aims to tell you that satisfying love is possible. You are capable of creating a relationship with your partner in which both of you will feel emotionally secured at the present time and be confident about your future.

Below are the five keys for a great and lasting relationship:

1)              Decide together. Many couples fail in making collective decisions during major transitions in their lives. You are both taking a journey: make clear decisions where the both of you want to go. Do not allow things to just happen. However, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to do this in every single aspect of your lives. For instance, if you are enjoying your evening routine at home together, just let things slide: it works fine for both of you anyway. On the other hand, there are times that you cannot just let things happen in front of you. Making decisions is a combined effort and needs teamwork. Are you thinking of quitting your job? Are you planning to have a child? How do you want to manage your savings? Whenever there is an important matter that needs to be addressed, make a decision together. Your decisions show your greater commitment to work your relationship.

2)              Do your part. You work as a team. This means you both agree that you will commit in keeping friendship and fun within your relationship; you do not argue and fight destructively; and you will aim for a safe emotional harbor in your relationship. One of the success factors of a marital team is when each member is doing their part. Ask yourself this, “What are my contributions in our marriage or relationship?” Once you answered this question, focus on what you can contribute instead of what you can get from the relationship.

3)              Connect with your partner using the “safe mode function.” Concentrate on making your relationship emotionally and physically safe at home especially when dealing with issues and conflicts. Intimacy and positive connections are possible when you are both confident that you can perform your part to avoid conflicts. Do your best to handle conflicts peacefully. If you are successful in doing this, you'll be able to relax more, be yourself, and open yourself to more physical and emotional intimacy.  

4)              Open yourself to positive connections. According to research, what really matters to most couples are positive connections. Conflicts and issues are inevitable. It will happen even if you try to avoid it. Couples want to enjoy the great things that relationship can offer; fun, spiritual meaning, passion, deep friendship, parenting, companionship, and connections with the core values of life.

5)              Nurture your commitment. Establishing something meaningful and hanging on in a relationship is crucial. Couples do this because of their commitment to a “long-term” relationship. Commitment means knowing that you both count on each other to help one another, to be there and support each other no matter what happens.

Keep in mind the five keys to lasting and great relationship as you learn the steps on how to improve your romantic or marital bond. You will notice amazing improvements in your relationship with your partner or spouse after reading this book.