21
MY GRIP TIGHTENED ON
THE JAR CONTAINING MATTHIAS’S heart and I felt frozen in place,
afraid of failing and afraid of dying.
Nothing new
there.
I left the room and
retraced my steps, keeping close to the wall and freezing whenever
I heard a sound. I figured even the vampires had to be headed for
bed by now. Sunrise couldn’t be that far off.
I quickly crept down
the stairs to the basement, then pulled up the
trapdoor.
“Hey, where are you
going?” a familiar voice said.
I nearly dropped the
jar when I jumped. I whipped around to see Noah looking at me
sheepishly. “Sorry, did I scare you?”
I tensed. “Why are
you following me?”
“Caught a whiff in
the hallway, figured it was you.” He grimaced and crossed his arms
tightly over his T-shirt. “You know, the more I expose myself to
it, the easier it is to resist. And by easier I mean fractionally
not as difficult. Still, the scent of the Nightshade seems to
trigger my saliva glands like nothing else I’ve ever experienced.
It’s very interesting, actually.” His gaze moved to the jar. “Is
that a human heart you’ve got there?”
Being near Noah
didn’t set my mind at ease. It got my back up now that I wasn’t
sure about vampires again. I wouldn’t recover from Declan’s act in
front of his father for a while. But it was an act just to fool
him, to keep Kristoff from realizing Declan was still helping me.
He’d been trying to avoid a direct order that he wouldn’t have been
able to ignore.
Maybe the stronger
the vampire that made you, the more control you had. Weaker
vampires sired weaker fledglings that had the most problems with
control—the ones who couldn’t help themselves when they were near
me, like the guard. Like several others I’d come across since
meeting the syringe full of Nightshade.
It was a theory. And
according to this theory, Noah should be one of the stronger ones,
like Declan was. Only Declan had a better head start being a
dhampyr to begin with. He’d already been halfway
there.
“Uh, the heart?” Noah
said. “Is there an answer or are you just wandering around looking
for Frankenstein’s lab?”
I looked at the
organ. It was hard to believe it was over four hundred years old,
but I was no expert. “It’s Matthias’s.”
Noah blinked. “Never
seen a vampire’s heart. Shouldn’t it be ash by now?” His face
whitened. “Matthias is immortal. Holy shit, he’s still alive
without that in his chest. He must be in agony right
now.”
“And that brings you
up to speed on the exciting night I’ve had.”
Noah whistled. “Damn.
Remind me not to drink any baby’s blood in any secret-society
rituals.”
I eyed him. “If I
need to remind you about something like that I think we have a
serious problem.”
“Good point. So, need
some help?”
I glanced behind us
at the empty basement, not nearly ready to let my guard down yet.
“So they just let you wander around freely?”
“Are you kidding? I
slipped out of the room they’d locked me in and I was about to take
off, but I felt all guilty about leaving everyone behind. And there
you were, lurking around in the basement.” He glanced at the rope
ladder. “So what are we waiting for? Let’s go shove that bloody
thing back in his chest.”
Sounded about right
to me.
If I thought climbing
the rope ladder was difficult before, I hadn’t tried it while
carrying something breakable. I ended up shoving the jar down the
front of my dress and praying that it wouldn’t fall out. I went
down the ladder so quickly that I burned my hands on the rope, but
I touched down to solid ground with everything intact. Noah made it
down easily as if he’d climbed rope ladders all of his
life.
“This way.” I started
heading left along the humid, musty underground tunnels until I
finally came to the green metal door that was slightly ajar after
Declan had broken it off its hinges. “Here it is.”
I half expected
someone to stop us. After all, Kristoff and some of his men knew
where we’d been before, knew that we’d seen Matthias in his
makeshift coffin. But after Declan’s “betrayal,” and my being
thrown into a locked room, it was likely that Kristoff thought I
was safely and soundly tucked away for the rest of the
night.
While Noah seemed
able to be around me without digging his fangs into my skin, he
didn’t try to get too close, keeping several feet of air between us
at all times.
“Open it up,” I told
him, and he pushed up the lid of the coffin after undoing the
broken padlock. Even in the near darkness of the room that was lit
by only one bare lightbulb, Matthias looked so pale he nearly
glowed in the dark.
I felt immediately
relieved that he was still alive. Despite the promise of
immortality, I wasn’t sure. “See? I told you I’d be
back.”
He just stared up at
me. I felt wearier than I had before, which told me he was pulling
energy from me to stay conscious. If he passed out, I figured there
would have to be a full awakening like what had been done with
Kristoff. Matthias said it had involved the blood of a dozen human
sacrifices. I’d really like to avoid that at all costs for too many
reasons to list.
“Are you trained in
first aid?” Noah asked nervously, looking around the empty room and
ending at Matthias’s pale and sickly form.
I shook my head.
“Afraid not. You?”
“A little. But this
is your show, Jill. I’m not going near that heart. It disturbs me
how delicious it looks.”
I cringed. “That is
disturbing.”
“Should you wash your
hands first?”
“With
what?”
“Right. That’s
another excellent point. This place isn’t decked out with a full
commode, is it?”
I didn’t exactly have
a game plan here. Matthias must have seen the trepidation in my
gaze.
“It’s . . . okay . .
.” His voice was so quiet I barely heard it.
I felt weak suddenly
with the prospect of what I had to do. “There’s nothing okay about
this. This is going to hurt you, and I don’t even know if it’ll
work. Plus, I think I might throw up.”
His forehead was
creased and he let out a small sound that may have been a
laugh.
I glared at him.
“This isn’t even remotely funny.”
“You’ll . . . be
fine. Just . . .” He paused and swallowed thickly. “Take it . . .
shove it into my chest . . .”
Shove the vampire’s
severed heart into his bloody chest. This wasn’t happening. This
was a horror movie I’d fallen into and couldn’t get out
of.
“What do you want me
to do?” Noah asked.
I tried to breathe.
“Catch me if I pass out.”
“Will
do.”
I unscrewed the lid
of the jar and placed it on the ground. Then I forced myself to
reach into the glass container and wrap my fingers around the cool,
slippery heart. My own heart beat so wildly in my chest it made me
dizzy. Matthias’s heart didn’t currently beat. It felt cold and
dead, like meat you might buy from the deli section of the grocery
store.
I faltered. Maybe I
couldn’t do this. I’d failed biology in high school and never
dreamed about being a nurse or a doctor when I grew up. This was a
million miles outside of my comfort zone. “I don’t want to hurt
you.”
“Then . . . do it . .
. quickly.”
I nodded. “Uh,
Noah?”
“Yeah.”
“Which way is
up?”
He drew a bit closer.
“You have it upside down.”
“Okay.” I adjusted
it.
I gripped it tightly
and pushed apart Matthias’s bloody ruined shirt so I could clearly
see the gaping wound in his chest. I gagged. Couldn’t help it. If
nothing else, at least it hadn’t healed over yet. That would have
meant I would have had to cut him open again.
Not a good thought.
None of this was good. But if it worked, then it was worth it. I’d
chalk the inevitable nightmares up to a successful learning
experience.
I looked in his pale
eyes, this vampire who’d claimed me so he could use my blood to
destroy his brother. His brother who’d tried to gain vengeance on
him by tearing out his heart and locking him away in a coffin to
let him suffer.
He’d saved my life. I
wasn’t saving his—he’d live even if his heart was destroyed. But
this wasn’t living.
My soul mate. The
other end of my metaphysical rope. The leech on my energy. The
reason I wasn’t going to die because of the
Nightshade.
“Do it . . .”
Matthias whispered.
Before I could
second-guess myself, I shoved the heart into his
chest.
He arched his back
and cried out in pain as my hand disappeared deep into his flesh
and up under his rib cage where the original wound had
been.
I gagged again at the
feel of the inside of Matthias’s body. Vampires were warmer on the
inside than I would have expected. Not regular human body
temperature, but warmer than room temperature. I forced the heart
in as far as it could go, then pulled my hand out. It made a
disgusting, wet smacking sound.
I tried not to think.
I pressed down on the wound that started to ooze blood again. My
right hand and arm were now red and slick with blood up to my
elbow.
“Okay, I’m a vampire
now, and that was still pretty fucking gross to watch,” Noah said,
the disgust naked in his voice. “Wow.”
Matthias writhed
under my touch, his face contorted with pain.
“Shit, Noah—” I’d
begun to feel more panicky with every passing moment. “I don’t
think it’s working. He’s not healing.”
I heard a creak and
my head whipped in the direction of the door expecting to see we’d
been discovered and Kristoff’s men would drag me away from Matthias
before he’d recovered.
Jade peered in at us.
She wore a long blue dress printed with sunflowers and her red hair
was back in a ponytail.
Relief mixed with
annoyance. The last thing I needed to deal with right now was an
insane dhampyr. She entered a little more, her gaze moving over
each of us in turn and ending with Matthias. By the look on her
face, I knew she recognized him. He was the vampire who’d forced
her to give him blood to help heal his internal damage from
drinking my blood. The same vampire she’d been forced to feed
earlier tonight when he’d been staked.
It had helped him
both times. Her blood healed. My blood killed.
Life and death, Jade
and me were. Like two sides of a coin.
“Jade,” I whispered
fiercely. “What are you doing down here?”
Her expression was
distant but there was concern there. “He’s evil, you know. And
there is so much blood. An ocean to wade in and a sunrise beyond.
It scares me.”
I frowned. “Who’s
evil?”
“The man who looks
like this one.” She nodded at Matthias. “He wants to kill my
baby.”
“Your baby.” I
remembered what Isaiah said before he was killed, that Jade had a
child who died years ago, which was likely why she fixated on the
child vampire Patricia so much. “Do you mean . . .
Sara?”
She nodded. “Yes, my
baby. How could anyone want to hurt her?”
“Who wants to hurt
her?” Kristoff said she wasn’t in danger. I wasn’t surprised he’d
lied about that, too. I kept my hands pressed firmly against
Matthias’s bleeding chest. He suffered in silence now, but I knew
the pain hadn’t lessened for him. I blamed that knowledge on our
brand-new bond.
Jade leaned against
the doorframe. “I heard the blond man talking on the telephone. He
said they could have her and use her blood however they wanted. He
told them to come immediately to take her away. Amore,
amar—”
“Amarantos,” I
finished for her, stunned. “He said he’s going to give Sara to the
Amarantos?”
“I don’t want Sara to
be hurt.” Tears streaked down her cheeks.
My head hurt as I
thought it through as quickly as I could. “Do you know how you can
save your baby, Jade?”
“How?” she asked
eagerly, drawing closer to me.
“You need to give
Matthias some of your blood. He can stop Kristoff.”
She looked down at
the badly injured vampire. “He can?”
I nodded. “I swear he
can. If you can help him, he can help Sara. I
promise.”
It wasn’t a lie. I
believed Matthias had the motivation and the ability to stop his
brother. However, I didn’t know for sure that he’d be successful,
especially not after going through all of this.
Jade frowned deeply.
“They all drink from me. I should be used to it, I suppose, but I
never am. It hurts so much. They give me gifts and let me ride on
the Ferris wheel, but it doesn’t make it better.”
Maybe her insanity
was a blessing more than a curse. It helped her escape into a world
where her baby was still alive and all was well with the world of
amusement-park rides and family dinners. “I’m sorry.”
I eyed Matthias with
deepening concern. He looked close to death, struggling to breathe,
struggling to deal with whatever pain he felt right now. And the
only relief I could get for him was in the form of a crazy dhampyr
with some major maternal instincts.
There wasn’t enough
time to try to convince Jade to help the easy way. The hard way
would have to do. “Do you want to help Sara or do you want her to
die a horrible death at the hands of greedy, child-killing
monsters?”
She visibly
flinched.
“They’ll tear her
apart, drink her blood, and throw her tiny body away like garbage.”
I forced the words out, twisting like a knife to get the reaction I
needed. “Is that what you want? Or do you want her to
live?”
She drew in a shaky
breath. “I want my baby to live.”
“Then give Matthias
your blood now, Jade. Now.”
She stared at me in
silence for so long I was sure she was going to run away. I’d been
too harsh. Pushed too hard.
But instead, she
nodded.
I held my breath as
she moved closer to the coffin and extended her arm over Matthias’s
mouth.
“Drink from me,” she
said.
His pained gaze
flicked to mine for a moment, before he slowly reached up to grip
her arm and brought it to his lips. I saw her wince as he bit into
her wrist and the slide of red blood down the corner of his mouth
as he began to feed, his eyes blackening, and hunger branched along
his cheeks.
Noah watched with
rapt attention. “Damn, I’m so thirsty right now.”
It was as if all of
my coiled up energy disappeared and I stumbled backward until I
felt the solid stone wall behind me. It helped to keep me on my
feet. I didn’t think it had anything to do with Matthias and my
bond this time. I’d just been so tense for so long that something
had to give. What gave was my ability to keep myself upright at the
moment. I wiped my right hand and arm off on the skirt of the black
dress I wore until only my fingernails were stained with Matthias’s
blood.
Matthias fed for a
while. Finally Jade staggered back a few steps and sat down on the
floor, holding her arm to her chest. She looked at me and I hated
to see the pain and confusion on her pale face, but I wasn’t sorry
I got her to agree to this. I pushed away from the wall and went to
Matthias’s side. His eyes were closed and there was blood on his
lips. I thought for a moment that it hadn’t worked, but then I
looked down at his wound. It was still bloody, but it had begun to
heal. I let out an audible sigh of relief.
“Go,” I said to Noah.
“Get to the kids upstairs. We’ll be up as soon as we can and then
we’re leaving.”
He nodded and helped
the dhampyr to her feet. He closed the broken door as best he could
behind him.
A couple minutes
later Matthias’s eyelids fluttered open and he immediately focused
on me. His wound had healed over, although it wasn’t completely
gone—a thick, raised pink line remained. Maybe this injury would
actually leave a scar this time.
I pressed my hand
against his cool forehead. “How are you feeling right
now?”
He looked up at me.
“I’m improving.”
I let out a breath I
hadn’t realized I’d been holding. “Kristoff ripped out your heart
and stuffed you in a coffin.”
“My brother doesn’t
forgive easily.”
“No
shit.”
He blinked. His eyes
had returned to their normal pale gray color. The dark patches
under his eyes were fading. “You saved me.”
I couldn’t help but
smile a little at that. “If you call stuffing your heart back in
your chest and hoping like hell that it worked, then I guess I
did.”
“Others would have
left me right where I lay.”
“I couldn’t do that.”
His intense gaze was making me nervous. “And it has nothing to do
with our bond, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“I never said it
did.”
“Honestly Matthias,
you should have told me you were going to do that to
me.”
He swallowed, then
reached down to touch where his wound had been. “You weren’t well
after Declan injected you with the fusing potion. I was certain
you’d die.”
“But I
didn’t.”
“That’s right, you
didn’t.” His meaning was clear. I would have died if he hadn’t
claimed me right then and right there.
“I’m not saying I’m
sorry you did it. I want to live. But—but maybe you should have
saved it and used it on someone who wanted to be bound to you for
all eternity. Declan says this makes us soul mates.”
He didn’t reply. I’d
take that as a confirmation.
I sighed. “Fabulous.
And now I can find you—that’s how I found you down here. I sensed
where you were like a rope that ties us together. I’m guessing you
can do the same for me.”
“Yes.”
“Anything
else?”
“It’s a good
metaphor—the rope. Your life is tied to mine. You’re still human
and can be hurt or killed. But it will take a great deal more
effort. You will also be stronger—as strong as a dhampyr. Along
with your blood it will be a lethal combination.”
I thought it through.
“How can it be reversed?”
“It can’t be.” He
didn’t look upset by this, there was the slight glimmer of
amusement in his eyes now, which was nothing but infuriating
considering the topic of conversation. “I know you’d prefer to be
bound to Declan.”
“I’m not sure I want
to be bound to anyone. Not this much.”
“He’s a vampire
now.”
I gripped the edge of
the coffin. “I guess I’m a sucker for men who like the
nightlife.”
Matthias was silent
for a moment, then he struggled to sit up so we were at eye level
to each other. “I can make you forget him if you
want.”
I frowned.
“What?”
“No other vampire can
ever influence you again, except for me. Let me show you. Look at
me, Jillian.”
The moment I looked
at him everything else suddenly flew away from me. Every stressful
thought, every worry, every single problem. There was only
Matthias.
He had complete and
total power over me.
He’d influenced me
before just after I’d first met him. Influenced me into his bed and
made me desire him even though I knew on some level that it was
wrong and unnatural and not how I truly felt. My emotions weren’t
involved then, just my body.
But now everything
had changed.
I loved him. I knew
for certain that he was the only man I wanted to be with. I’d do
anything for him. I craved his touch, his kiss, his caress. I
wanted to be at his side forever. In his bed every
night.
I touched his face,
trying to memorize every feature, every line. My fingers trailed
over his cheek, his jaw, his mouth.
“What do you want,
Jillian?” he whispered.
“You.” I brushed my
lips against his, my hand moving to tangle into his
hair.
I needed his body
against me, filling me. It was a desperate need that I
couldn’t—
Suddenly, the feeling
vanished as if I’d just had a bucket of cold water thrown at
me.
“See what I mean?” he
said, amusement sliding behind his gray eyes.
I slapped him so hard
across his face that my hand stung.
“Don’t do that,” I
snapped.
He shrugged. “It
worked though, didn’t it?”
“It wasn’t real. Stop
fucking with my mind.”
He raised a pale
eyebrow. “What’s real? If every one of your senses tells you
something is real, then why can’t it be?”
“I’m not in love with
you.”
He studied my face.
“In the beginning I could only increase the desire you already felt
for me, but now it sounds like there are more interesting emotions
to play with. Let me know when you want me to make it
permanent.”
I tried to slap him
again but he caught my wrist.
“I’ll take that as a
polite no?” he said.
“You can take it as a
hell no.”
Matthias scared me
and this was just another example of why. He had too much power
over me. If he chose to exert that power again and not take it
away, I knew he could make me do whatever he wanted and I’d follow
him around happily like an adoring pet. It seemed so real, if only
for a moment. That was almost scarier than anything Kristoff could
do.
He eased himself out
of the coffin. “Enough of this. I’m better now and I need to find
my daughter.”
“Nice to know we
agree on something.” I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. “And
by the way, Matthias? Influence me like that again and next time
I’ll rip your heart out myself.”
I could have sworn I
saw him grin at me, but I turned my back and exited the
room.
Maybe I should have
left him locked in the coffin after all.