4
I CLAMPED MY HAND
OVER MY MOUTH TO KEEP MYSELF from screaming.
Matthias didn’t
scream either, but dark, pained snarls came from deep in his throat
as Meyers searched inside his gut.
“It’s here somewhere.
I know it.”
“I’m going to kill
you, you fucking maggot.” Matthias’s words were barely
understandable.
“Shh. It will only
hurt more if you keep struggling.”
Vomit rose in my
throat but I choked it back as hot tears slid down my cheeks. I
couldn’t move. I felt powerless to do anything to help him. All I
could do was stand by and watch this horrific attack.
“Here,” Meyers said
after a torturous wait. “I think I have it.”
He pulled out his
hand, dark and wet nearly to the elbow, dripping with Matthias’s
blood. Matthias buckled over, gasping.
“Nearly thirty
years,” Meyers mused. He pulled a handkerchief out from his pocket
and wiped off the small metal object he held in his bloody hand.
Then he held it up to the light enough for me to see that it was a
key.
I found it hard to
believe that Matthias had kept the key to Kristoff’s secret prison
hidden inside his body, but he had. And Meyers had just ripped it
out.
Meyers thrust his
chin toward the thugs. “Let him go.”
“You will regret
this,” Matthias said, pained words, as he collapsed to his knees on
the pavement.
“I’d kill you myself,
but I get the strange feeling that your brother will likely want to
do it himself.”
With the steel-toed
tip of his boot, one of the thugs kicked Matthias in his shoulder,
knocking him backward. Then, without another word, they left.
Moments later there was the squeal of tires as a black car in the
shadows drove out of the parking lot.
Shaking, I finally
left my hiding spot, my breath coming in gasps. I quickly made it
over to where Matthias lay on the ground unmoving.
I didn’t want to look
at his wound but I forced myself to. It was horrible, a big gaping
hole pouring blood. But there was more than torn skin and blood; I
could see the glisten of his intestines as well. I gagged, clamping
my hand over my mouth.
“That bad?” His voice
was so weak I could barely hear it.
“Worse.” It was
difficult to breathe. “My God, why didn’t you fight
them?”
“I was fighting them. I’m not quite as fit as I was
a—a week ago.”
“Why not? What’s
wrong with you?”
He finally opened his
eyes. They seemed even paler gray in the moonlight than they
normally did. “Your blood is what’s wrong with me.”
I shook my head. “It
didn’t kill you.”
“No, it didn’t. I was
immortal. The ritual . . . my brother’s ritual . . . it was all
that allowed me to survive the Nightshade. But the . . . poison
stripped that away. I’m not immortal anymore. I’ve been weakened
for the past week—it’s what kept me from finding you sooner. My
strength . . . it’s nearly gone completely.”
I felt cold. “What
are you saying?”
He looked at me. “I’m
dying. I can feel it deep inside of me. I have days left, if
that.”
“You’re dying? How is
that possible?”
“Your blood stripped
away my immortality. I’m now no more able to cheat death than any
other of my kind.”
I felt stunned—was
what he was saying true? He’d lived for four centuries. And now he
was dying. Because of my blood.
It was a Nightshade
success story. And it made me feel like hell that I was responsible
for the pain he was going through right now.
He watched me through
half-closed eyes. “Does the thought of my death upset
you?”
I sucked in a shaky
breath, trying to compose myself. “Not nearly as much as the sight
of your internal organs spilling out on the pavement.” Anyone
else—anyone human—would already be dead
from an injury this bad. “Shouldn’t you have started healing by
now?”
His expression was
tense. “This injury . . . it’s too severe for me to heal as I
normally would.”
“What does that mean?
Can you bleed to death?”
“Yes, I believe
so.”
I’d normally look at
Matthias as a threat, not a potential victim. But here he lay, his
life spilling out of him, his immortality a thing of the past. I
didn’t want to feel empathy for him, but I did anyway. “You need to
tell me how to save Declan.”
He laughed at that,
before the sound was cut off with a groan. “As my life spills out
on the ground with only you to witness the end of me, your thoughts
are with your soon to be uncontrollable dhampyr
lover.”
I squeezed my eyes
shut for a moment. I didn’t believe what was happening to Declan
was because of him simply being a dhampyr. His serum was to blame
for his violent outburst earlier. But ... I could be wrong. All I
knew was Matthias couldn’t die. He knew too much. And that
information was very valuable to me.
I touched Matthias’s
shoulder, glancing again at his horrible wound. “You said you know
how to help him.”
“I do. And if I die
right now, you’ll never find out how.” It sounded like a
threat.
I crossed my arms,
trying to stop my hands from shaking. “Do you want me to call an
ambulance?”
His grin looked more
like a grimace. “Human hospitals can’t help me.”
I craned my neck, but
no one was around. It felt as if the entire world was asleep or
that it had abandoned us. “Then what can I do?”
“Come closer . .
.”
I frowned before
leaning over toward him. He raked his hand into my long black hair
and drew me even closer so he could whisper in my ear.
“Blood.”
I jerked back from
him. “What?”
“I need blood. It
will help me heal. You need to help me, Jillian.”
I scrambled up to my
feet, noting that the spiderweblike indication of his hunger had
quickly appeared on his face and his gray irises had turned black.
Matthias needed a victim—that’s what he was asking for. Since he
couldn’t sink his fangs into me to get healthy again, he was
willing to see other people.
At the moment he was
too mortally injured and bleeding out onto the pavement of the
motel’s parking lot to help himself. The dark puddle he lay in was
growing with each minute that passed. He couldn’t find the blood he
needed without my assistance.
“I don’t have much
time left.” His voice had grown weaker. “Help me, Jillian. And I
will help you.”
A steady flow of
tears stung my eyes but I squeezed them back as I tried to figure
this out. There weren’t very many answers to this particular
problem. In fact, there was only one.
My entire body felt
tense. “Promise me that you won’t kill anyone.”
“I’ll
try.”
“Not good
enough.”
He sighed and it was
shaky. “You don’t understand what it’s like, Jillian. How the
hunger takes us over. I’m normally very well fed in all aspects of
my life, but right now, I’m not sure. Once I taste blood I might
not be able to stop.”
Fresh anger flowed
through me at his words. “Couldn’t you just lie to me? Couldn’t you
just say you won’t kill anyone? I thought you said you wanted my
help.”
Where the hell was
Declan? He’d know what to do right now.
But he wasn’t here. I
was on my own with a dying vampire on my hands and on my
conscience.
If I truly believed
the world would be better off without him in it, I’d let him die
right here. I wasn’t a total pushover. I wasn’t pro-life when it
came to vampires, that’s for damn sure. But Matthias wasn’t just
any vampire. And he also knew—or claimed to know—how I could help
Declan.
“They took my key,”
he whispered as I drew closer again.
“Keeping it in your
gut was an interesting hiding place.” I glanced down at his injury
and winced. “You might want to invest in a safe-deposit box next
time.”
“There won’t be a
next time. My brother will be awakened very soon.” There was so
much pain in his voice. “You don’t understand what this means. The
risk of one human life tonight is nothing compared to countless
lives in the future if I can’t stop him.”
If he killed someone
tonight, could I live with myself that I’d helped him?
I’d heard enough
about Kristoff to make me fear what he would do when he was
released from the prison Matthias had trapped him in decades ago.
He was a monster, a sociopath, someone who shouldn’t be allowed to
live—that is, if he wasn’t already immortal. Matthias had locked
him away because he’d had no other choice. And now Kristoff was
going to be released so he could pick up where he’d left
off.
And if Matthias was
being truthful and what had happened with Declan was only the
beginning of a horrible downslide into becoming more like a monster
dhamp than one who could be reasoned with, one who couldn’t be
controlled by any serum or drug—
He was frustrating,
aggravating, challenging—but there was something about Declan that
I knew I couldn’t lose.
I had to stop
overthinking this. There was no time. There was only one answer
that I could wrap my head around right now. It didn’t mean it was a
good one.
“Fine.” The word came
out like a sob. “Tell me what I need to do.”
He forced himself up
to a sitting position, holding his intestines in with his right
hand. His abdomen was a ragged ruin of flesh and blood. His
handsome face had paled more than I thought possible considering
how white he was to start with, and the dark circles under his eyes
had only grown darker. His blond hair was streaked with his blood.
His eyes black. His cheekbones and jawline were covered in those
scary-looking thin dark veins. He looked like an angel of
death.
“Get me to a human
with blood flowing through their veins. Anyone will
do.”
I didn’t think. I
just moved. I helped him to his feet and his weight slumped against
me, almost knocking me over.
He groaned. “Please
hurry. Right now, your blood is nearly impossible to resist. This
time I know it would kill me in seconds.”
I gritted my teeth as
I half pulled, half dragged him across the lot back to the motel.
“I’ll keep it in mind for the future.”
“There,” he said
after a minute.
I looked forward to
see there was a motel door he was pointing at. It was on the side
opposite to mine. I figured that there were only a few occupied
rooms in the cheap motel and the rooms on either side of my room
were currently empty. It was the only explanation for no police
banging on the door after Declan had made like a rock star and
trashed the place.
“There’s someone in
there?” I asked.
“A woman.
Alone.”
A chill shot down my
spine. “Please don’t kill her, Matthias.”
“Go back to your
room. You don’t need to see this.”
Before I could say
another word, he knocked on the door, much as he’d done to mine
earlier. I half hoped she wouldn’t answer it. What sane single
woman opened her motel room door in the dead of the night? Then
again, this wasn’t exactly a prime location for the
sane.
After a few moments,
the door creaked open.
“What the hell do you
want?” the woman said. She was a bleached blonde who’d hit her
prime of beauty at least twenty years ago. Her eyes bugged as she
took in the terrifying sight in front of her. “Wait a
minute—no—”
She went to slam the
door shut, but Matthias blocked it.
“Look at me,” he
said.
She whimpered with
fear, but then looked at him and he captured her immediately in his
gaze.
“I will try to make
this as easy as I can on you. Is my influence
working?”
“Yes.” The tremble in
her voice had vanished.
“Matthias—” I
began.
“I said for you to
go.” He shot a look at me, and then pushed the woman inside her
room, slamming the door behind him.
He was going to kill
her.
Do as he said and go, I thought.
But I didn’t do that.
I couldn’t. Instead, I moved to the window. The drapes were open a
crack. This time I was the Peeping
Tom.
The woman staggered
backward, not taking her eyes off Matthias. He looked more demon
than angel now. In the light of her room his veins were easily
visible and now appeared to cover most of his face. His eyes were
as black as death. His cheekbones had sunken in, giving his face a
skull-like appearance.
He reached out a
bloody hand to her, while keeping the other tight against his
split-open gut, and swept the brassy blond hair off her shoulders.
Then he grabbed the edge of her leopard print teddy and pulled it
down over her shoulder till it was low enough to expose a large,
sagging breast. He did the same to the other side. The trashy
garment fell to the floor, leaving her completely
naked.
“Jesus,” I hissed
under my breath, gripping the edge of the window. I could barely
breathe. I shouldn’t be here, watching this. I felt sickened and
afraid, but I couldn’t turn away.
Matthias didn’t waste
any more time. He bent over and sank his fangs into her throat and
red blood slid down to her shoulder as he began to feed. I half
expected the woman to fight, but of course, she couldn’t. His bite
had paralyzed her and her arms hung slackly at her sides. However,
her head was turned toward me and I could see the expression on her
face. It disturbed me as much as anything else I’d witnessed
tonight.
She looked
orgasmic.
My hands trembled and
felt cold despite the heat of the night, so I rubbed them together.
I knew I had to wait there. I had to make sure he stopped before he
killed her. Another glance in the window showed that he now had her
limp, naked body pinned on her bed, her legs spread, his hand
sliding down the length of her.
The whole scenario
made the memory of what had happened to me in Matthias’s chambers
come back vividly. Other than the blood-drinking it wasn’t that far
off. I hadn’t been afraid when I was in his bed. His influence
worked to make everything seem okay, even desirable, even when it
wasn’t.
After another minute,
I sank down to the ground, covered my face with my hands, and
started to sob.
Weak and pathetic.
Yeah, I know. It had been a difficult couple of weeks.
I jumped nearly out
of my skin when the door opened a few minutes later and Matthias
emerged. The veins were gone from his face and his eyes had
returned to their regular color, but his mouth was smeared with
blood. He wiped the back of his right sleeve over his lips as he
continued to hold his stomach with his left hand.
“She’s still alive,”
he said. “She’ll be weakened for a while, but she’ll recover. I
promise.”
I got shakily to my
feet and looked in the window. The victim was in bed, the sheets
pulled up to her chin. Her chest moved so I could tell she was
still breathing. He didn’t hurt her. He’d drank enough blood to fix
himself and then he’d tucked her into bed and left.
I was surprised.
Truly, completely surprised. Relief moved through me so quickly it
nearly made me dizzy.
“Good.” I turned away
from him and walked back to my motel room. He was behind me, and
without asking permission, he entered behind me and closed the
door. I tensed. “Matthias, I want you to leave.”
Before he said
anything, his knees buckled and he sank to the floor, his eyes
rolling back into his head.
Shit.
I waited for a moment
for him to wake up, but he didn’t. I worried that the woman’s blood
hadn’t been enough. I crouched next to him and pulled at his hand
so I could see his bloody wound.
I ran into the
bathroom, and my hands were trembling violently as I wet a towel,
then returned to kneel beside him so I could clean the wound a bit
to check how severe it was. I braced myself for the worst. It
wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been before. I watched in disbelief
as the skin a couple inches above his navel knit together like
magic over the next couple of minutes.
I’d watched Declan
heal like this before, knife and gunshot wounds that needed to be
cleaned and taken care of before they had a chance to properly
heal. The speed was nearly the same, but the results were very
different. While Declan retained a scar to show where the injury
had been, a raised reddish pink patch of hardened skin before it
faded with additional time, Matthias’s skin healed flawlessly. Not
a single mark remained after ten minutes had gone by of the injury
that had almost introduced his internal organs to the cold, hard
pavement.
I rubbed the damp
towel over where the wound had been only minutes before, then
touched the healed flesh with my fingertips just to prove I wasn’t
imagining things.
“A little lower,
please. And feel free to kiss it better.”
I yanked my hand
back. Matthias watched me with half-lidded eyes and a pained smile
stretching across his face.
“I’ll pass,
thanks.”
His amusement faded.
Even though he’d been healed from this injury, it didn’t change
anything. He believed he was going to die soon from drinking my
blood a week ago, and I had no proof that he was wrong about
that.
“You look worried
about me,” he said.
I swallowed hard and
turned away from him. “You think so?”
“Yes.”
I wanted to argue,
but I couldn’t find the strength. I had cared if he lived or died
tonight, and I couldn’t simply say it was only because of the
information he had about Declan.
Maybe I was more
softhearted than I gave myself credit for.
“You thought I was
going to kill that woman,” he said.
I bit my bottom lip.
“I thought it was a distinct possibility. I mean, you are a vampire.”
“I could have killed
her easily. But her death wouldn’t have made any difference in
strength to me. I took what blood I needed and that was
all.”
“So getting her naked
first was just personal preference?”
He raised a pale
eyebrow. “Keeping watch, were you? I never would have guessed you
were a voyeur, Jillian.”
I hated that he was
able to make me blush. “I guess I don’t understand how biting
someone’s neck requires them to show their tits and
ass.”
“No.” He began to
push himself slowly up to his feet. “You wouldn’t
understand.”
I watched him warily.
“So make me understand.”
“Bare skin allows me
to feed better. After all, I don’t just feed on blood. At my age, I
can feed on a human’s sexual energy as well, which I could tell at
a glance she had in spades. I needed all the help I could get.” He
smiled. “I really wouldn’t worry. I think she enjoyed herself. And
when she wakes, she’ll remember nothing from the incident. No
damage done. Is it still sick to you now that I’ve explained
it?”
My face felt tight.
“I don’t know.”
“Now I’d like to use
your shower to clean myself up.” His smile widened. “You’re welcome
to join me if you like. I may not be able to drink your blood, but
I can still feed off your desire.”
I stood up and moved
back from him, feeling that I’d been a bit too friendly with the
former vampire king and given him the wrong impression. “Listen,
Matthias. Let’s get one thing straight here. What happened between
us—well, it was completely fake. It was no different from what just
happened with you and your random blood donor just now. The only
difference is you didn’t do me the courtesy of letting me forget
about it.”
His amused expression
held. “Of course, whatever you say. Now, your shower?”
“If I say no, will
you leave?”
“You make an
excellent point.” Without another word he walked to the bathroom
and closed the door behind him. I heard the water turn on a moment
later.
To say my feelings
toward the former vampire king were conflicted would be a vast
understatement. My current emotions included dislike and
discomfort, as well as grudging admiration that he’d managed to
survive being gutted enough to be a cocky asshole about it. I
didn’t know what else to do other than stand there awkwardly and
wait for him to be done.
Declan returned
before the shower turned off. The door swung open slowly and he
seemed surprised to see me standing there.
I tensed the moment I
saw him. It felt as if he’d been gone a day, not just a couple of
hours. “Where did you go?”
“I—I needed time to
clear my head. I wasn’t thinking straight before.”
No shit. I exhaled shakily, hating that I felt fear
at seeing him again. “And now?”
“I’m better. Whatever
that was—it passed. It took a while.”
I grabbed his hands
so I could see them closer. His knuckles were red and it looked as
if they’d recently healed from a more serious injury. I looked up
at him. “Punching somebody?”
“Something. A wall. Concrete.”
“Did it
help?”
“A little. Although
the wall might disagree.” He glanced at the bed and at the damage
he’d done to this wall earlier. His face showed strain. “I’m so
sorry.”
I shook my head.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay.”
His brows were drawn
closely together and he studied the floor. “How can you say that? I
could have hurt you.”
“You didn’t. And you
wouldn’t.” I believed it. I didn’t care what Matthias had told me,
Declan wasn’t like that. This was an isolated incident
only.
“Nothing like that’s
ever happened to me before. But . . .”
“But
what?”
“I’ve felt that
rising violence inside me in the past, but it was something I could
control. Distant. Fleeting. There was no control for me
earlier.”
The water in the
bathroom turned off a moment later and Declan’s head whipped in
that direction.
“Who’s here?” he
asked sharply.
Damn. I’d forgotten about the showering vampire
king for a blissful moment.