9
THERE WAS SILENCE
AFTER MY REQUEST. FOR A MOMENT, all I could hear was the rapid
pounding of my heart.
Matthias’s jaw was
clenched. “Noah didn’t ask for this.”
“He can’t ask for
this. And he’s going to die any minute if you don’t help him. You
said you owed me, and this is all I want.”
He looked down at
Noah. “This is exactly what I’ve avoided, making more of my kind.
I’ve only sired a handful of fledglings in four hundred years. A
vampire in their early days is difficult to control and their
newfound power can go to their heads. Their thirst can overwhelm
them. Already weakened like this, he might not survive it. He might
be better off if you just let him die.”
My stomach felt like
it was tied into knots. “Are you saying you won’t do
it?”
“Are you sure of
this, Jillian? I warn you, the results may not be what you’re
hoping for.”
I sniffed and ran my
hand under my nose. “In a choice between life and death, I choose
life. For myself and for the people I consider family. Noah’s one
of them. So yes, I’m sure.”
He nodded. “Then wait
for me outside.”
My eyes widened.
“You’re going to do it?”
“Yes. Now go before I
change my mind.”
At that moment I was
certain right down to my core that this was the right decision. I
cared deeply for Noah and I wanted him to live. I remembered what
Meyers had said in the motel parking lot. He’d wanted to be sired
by a king so he’d be strong. Matthias was a former king. That was
good enough for me.
Noah would be strong.
He’d be okay. He’d survive this.
There was no other
choice.
Declan waited outside
the room, past the archway and thirty feet down the long, dim
corridor I vaguely remembered being dragged along by one of the
vampires who was now just a bad memory. I slowed as I got closer to
him. He wasn’t looking at me with an ounce of friendliness at the
moment. There was grief on his face.
Seeing him displaying
noticeable emotions like this was more unsettling than encouraging
at the moment.
“You should have
stayed in the car,” he hissed at me.
Tears burned at my
eyes, but I forced them back. “But I didn’t.”
“No, you
didn’t.”
“It’s going to be all
right.”
“All right,” he
repeated. “You think this is all right?”
“We found
Jade.”
“She’s
insane.”
“Well, yeah. There’s
that.”
“And now she’s
emotionally damaged from seeing her adoptive family murdered before
her eyes.”
“They were vampires,”
I reminded him. “And they nearly killed us. I thought you had a
problem with vampires and didn’t mind when they stopped
existing.”
“I hate vampires. But
seeing that child turn to ash—” He swallowed hard, flexing his
hands into tight fists at his sides. “There was a time when she was
really only a kid and didn’t have any choice when some fucking
monster decided to turn her.” He scrubbed his hand over his scalp.
“Damn it. The serum isn’t working right now. I wish it
was.”
“It makes things
easier for you.”
“Yeah.” He hissed out
a breath and looked back in the direction of the room. “Matthias
damn well better not hurt her.”
“She’ll be
fine.”
“I can go after
Kristoff. I don’t care what he said about him being my . . .” His
forehead creased. “Even if it’s true it won’t make any difference.
He can’t control me. I control myself.”
I touched his arm and
was half-surprised when he didn’t pull away from me. “I don’t want
you to go after Kristoff and get yourself killed.”
He swallowed. “Why?
Because you need me?”
“No, because I lov—”
I bit off the words and stared at the floor. I wasn’t sure where
that came from. He was pissed at me right now. Rightfully so. This
wasn’t the time or place to let him know the depth of my feelings
for him. Frankly, I wasn’t ready to let myself know,
either.
My interrupted
sentence didn’t escape his attention. “Jill, this is all so fucked
up.”
I almost laughed.
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
He brushed a lock of
black hair off my forehead and I saw that his previously harsh
expression had softened. “Why didn’t you tell me about my real
father?”
I grimaced as guilt
skittered through me. “I’m sorry. I should have. I was worried that
you’d dealt with so much already after Carson and Dr. Gray were
killed. I was afraid how you’d take it.”
He didn’t say
anything for a moment. “You were protecting me.”
“Trying to.” I bit my
bottom lip. I had to tell him about Noah, but I didn’t want him
running in there and stopping whatever Matthias had to
do.
“I should have known
this. I need to—” His expression changed so suddenly that it scared
me.
“What?”
“Jesus, Jill. You’re
bleeding again.”
“Oh, shit.” I reached
up and touched my face. It was my nose this time. My fingers
trembled as I raised them to look at the reddish black
blood.
The pain coiled its
way around me. I could see it coming but I couldn’t escape it. It
tightened its grip and washed over me like an ocean of acid,
stripping my flesh away and leaving me raw and screaming. My head
felt like it was trapped in a crushing vise.
My legs collapsed
from under me and Declan grabbed hold of me.
“It’s okay,” he said,
holding me tightly against him. “It’s going to be
okay.”
He was lying to me. I
thought he’d said he wouldn’t do that. There was no way anything
that felt this bad could possibly be okay.
I didn’t remember
blacking out this time, but I must have.
When I opened my eyes
we weren’t in the tunnels under FunTown anymore. I lay on a
beige-colored sofa in a beige-colored room. A glass coffee table
with several magazines including the TV
Guide sat three feet away from me.
The pain was gone,
but I still felt it like a greedy phantom lurking at the edges of
my mind. It would be back for more. The thought made me want to
curl up in a ball and cry, but there was no time for tears. I’d
have to schedule them in for sometime in my next life.
“You’re
awake.”
I struggled to
swallow because my mouth felt dry. I wiped at my nose but there was
no blood that I could see, which was an immediate relief. “Where
are we?”
“I found us a place
to stay temporarily. The owners are out of the country.” Declan’s
deep raspy voice sounded flat again. The control he’d been lacking
before was back. Dealing with him had become like dealing with
someone with a bipolar personality. Hot or cold, nothing in
between, and the shift could happen in a split second.
I looked around at
the house. It appeared as if the owners were related to Ward and
June Cleaver. A nice, normal, all-American home meant for a happily
married couple with two-point-five children. “How long since we got
here?”
“You’ve been
unconscious for a couple of hours.” He stood next to the sofa,
filling my vision. A tall man with broad shoulders, dressed all in
black, with scars and an eye patch. He didn’t look as if he
belonged in this house.
Maybe this was
heaven. Maybe I’d died with my last attack and that had been that.
I’d been sent here to the beigest house in the country with Declan
continuing to be my guardian angel. I was okay with
that.
Too bad it wasn’t
true.
“Why am I passing out
from the pain now? Before I took the fuser I stayed
conscious.”
“Your body—” he
began, but stopped talking for a second. “Your body can’t handle
it. For now it knocks you out, but it won’t be long before . .
.”
“Before
what?”
“Before you won’t
wake up again.” His face was stony, but there was a faint flicker
of emotion in his gray gaze.
“I’m going to die
soon, aren’t I?” It was more of a statement of fact than a
question.
Whatever it was,
Declan ignored it. “I’m going to inject you. I’d hoped you’d stay
unconscious for this.”
I tensed. “You really
think the fusing potion makes any difference?”
“Yeah, I do. We’ll
start doing this weekly to keep things under control. That’s how
long the fuser lasted before, so that’s our timeline.”
I was quiet for a
moment, but then I nodded. “Okay.”
The idea of getting
the fuser injected in me every week wasn’t a pleasant one, but I
knew there wasn’t a lot of room for guesswork here. It made me feel
like someone being treated regularly for a debilitating disease. It
wasn’t far from the truth.
“Where’s Matthias?” I
asked.
“When you collapsed,
I left without looking back. I texted him our
location.”
“I didn’t even know
he had a cell phone.”
“He’s a modern-day
monster.”
I almost smiled, but
couldn’t manage the expression. “The dhampyr—”
“She’s still at the
park. I had to leave her behind—with him.” He didn’t look happy
about it.
“But Declan, you
wanted to see her. Talk to her.”
His shoulders
stiffened. “It can wait, and I’ll go back later to find her
again—although I’m not sure if that will make much of a difference.
She seemed crazy. Besides, it can wait until you’re well again. Try
to relax.”
He pushed up the edge
of my shirt to bare my stomach and I felt the pinch as the needle
slid into my skin just below my belly button. It didn’t hurt very
much. It was a total breeze compared to everything
else.
If it was like last
time, I had about fifteen minutes before the potion started
working, bonding my blood cells with the Nightshade. It was when
they separated that I had problems. My body was trying to reject
the poison inside me. I didn’t really blame it.
When it started
working, I’d know it. The pain I’d felt at the park was only an
appetizer.
I didn’t understand
how the fusing potion worked, but it did. Since it was based on
preternatural science, I could only equate it to some sort of
earthbound magic. Not the kind that Matthias’s old pal Houdini
did—sleight of hand and escape tricks. Not hocus-pocus stuff,
either. No Harry Potter wizardry here, but there was something
truly supernatural involved to account for me still living and
breathing with such an unnatural shade of blood. It was that magic
that was keeping me alive, that helped to kill a vampire when he or
she got a taste of what now ran through my veins.
Declan took my hand
in his warm, rough one and squeezed it. I leaned my head against
his shoulder and closed my eyes.
It felt like a moment
of blissful calm in the center of a hurricane. It felt so strange
sitting on a sofa with Declan in the middle of a very normal, very
average Los Angeles home. No, not strange. It felt good. I could
get used to this. Although, I figured the people who actually owned
this home might have a problem with that.
I searched for a
subject that didn’t involve blood or death. “You said Sara’s with
the woman who raised you.”
“Yeah. Her name’s
Emily.”
“She sounds
nice.”
He snorted softly.
“Sometimes she was. Other times, she was a real bitch. Hard as
nails. It was like living with a drill sergeant.” The words were
harsh, but there was grudging fondness in his voice. “I stayed with
her from when I was a baby till I was about ten years
old.”
“And then what
happened?”
“Emily . . . I think
I scared her a little. She didn’t know about vampires or what I
was, so the first time I hurt myself falling out of a tree, she
freaked when I healed fast and scarred from it. Got this right
here.” He touched a small white scar by his right temple.
“Apparently I bled so much she thought I was going to die right
then and there. She cared about me, but it was too much for her.
Carson came and got me.”
He said it as if it
had happened to somebody else, just a story, not a tale of
abandonment.
“Carson got you when
you were ten?”
“Yeah. Then we
traveled nonstop around the country for the next eight years as I
trained to be a hunter.”
“That doesn’t sound
like a lot of fun. Did you go to school?”
“Carson homeschooled
me. On the subjects he thought I needed, anyway. I learned what I
had to.”
“Friends?”
“Kids of other
hunters. Nobody close. Let’s face it, Jill, I’ve always been a bit
of a loner. Not exactly a people person, am I?”
I leaned back and
looked at him, then touched the scar on his temple lightly before
letting my fingertips trail down over his cheek and the rough
stubble on his jaw. “You just haven’t had much of a
chance.”
He shrugged. “It
doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Sure it does. That
kind of an upbringing can fuck a kid up.”
He grinned a little.
“That’s obvious.”
My hand came to rest
on his chest. He didn’t push me away. “Considering where you came
from and how you were treated, I think you turned out pretty damn
good.”
“Exactly the kind of
boy you bring home to meet your parents, right?” he asked
dryly.
That did make me
laugh. “Well, not exactly.”
“What do you think
your family would think of me?” His expression shadowed. “I’m
sorry. I remember you said your parents passed away.”
I nodded. “Five years
ago. It was rough. But if they were alive . . . I don’t know. They
probably wouldn’t know what to make of you.”
“An ugly brute like
me.” At my sharp look, “What? It’s the truth.”
I shook my head. “I
never knew you were so vain.”
He leaned back into
the sofa. “What about admitting I’m ugly is vain?”
I cocked my head to
the side. “I think you hold on to your scars to distance yourself
from others.”
“Is that what I do,
Dr. Conrad?” He said it flippantly, but there was a guarded look in
his single gray eye. Declan was tough when it came to slicing and
dicing vampires, but when it came to quiet moments and conversation
like this, he was a bit out of his element. But practice made
perfect in many areas he was unfamiliar with.
“For the record? I
don’t think you’re ugly. Or a brute.”
He blinked. “Then
what am I?”
I leaned forward to
whisper in his ear. “Hot as hell.”
Laughter rumbled in
his chest. “Yeah, right. And I fit so well into your
life.”
“Maybe not my old
life. But screw that. Right now this is the only place I want to
be. Here. With you.”
“Waiting for the
fusing potion to take hold, in a house we’re squatting in, sitting
next to a scarred up, fucked up dhampyr.”
“Pretty much.” I
snuggled next to him and tried to clear my mind of anything but
this moment and enjoy it for as long as I possibly
could.
He stroked the hair
off my forehead. “I need to go back to the park later and get
Noah’s body.” His voice caught. “Damn it. He was a good kid.
Getting shot in the chest was bad enough and now this? It’s so
fucking unfair.”
I tensed. I hadn’t
told him what I’d asked Matthias to do yet. So much for enjoying
the moment.
“Declan—”
“Shh, Jill.” He
pulled away from me and got up from the sofa, his heavy boots
clomping against the hardwood floor. He pulled his silver knife
from the sheath at his hip. “Somebody’s here.”
The next moment the
front door swung open and Matthias walked in and scanned the
surroundings, stopping when he came to me. “Not perfect, but better
than that shoddy motel room.”
I gripped the back of
the sofa as I forced myself up to my feet. I still felt weak from
my attack.
“What did you do to
the dhampyr?” Declan demanded.
“She ran away when I
was occupied with other matters. I know there are a few members of
that clan who didn’t die tonight. She’ll be fine.”
Declan’s jaw was
tense. “You got your fill of her, did you?”
Matthias smiled. “You
know, I’ve always been a connoisseur of human blood, but now that
I’ve sampled an adult dhampyr’s it made me realize that it’s a much
finer vintage. I’d watch your neck, Declan. I do get thirsty very
regularly.”
Declan glared at
him.
It hadn’t worked. I
knew it. Noah had been too weak, too drained and he’d
died.
“Is Noah’s body still
at the park?” Declan asked after a moment.
Matthias glanced at
me. “His body?”
“Yes, I’ll need to
bury—” Declan paled visibly as the corpse in question slowly
dragged his feet through the open door. My heart raced at the sight
of him. He looked like hell. The wound at his throat was still
there, although it had stopped bleeding and looked as if it was
slowly healing. His face was gaunt, his previously light brown eyes
were now black.
“Noah—” I began, and
his gaze tracked to me and widened. His lips parted. While I
couldn’t see fangs yet, his teeth looked sharper than
before.
“Blood.” It was the
one word that spilled from his mouth and it made me freeze with
fear. It sounded more like the ragged voice of a monster dhamp than
someone I considered a friend.
“Are you sure of this, Jillian? I warn you, the results
may not be what you’re hoping for.”
I’d been warned, but
I hadn’t listened.
Noah lunged across
the room for me, getting close enough that I felt his hand brush
against my throat, but Matthias grabbed him by the back of his
shirt. With a flick of his arm, he tossed the brand-new vampire
backward. Noah flew across the room and hit his head hard against
the wall. A framed photo of the unfortunate family who owned this
house fell to the floor and smashed. Noah crumpled to the ground
unconscious.
I clamped my hand
against my mouth so I wouldn’t scream.
“My apologies.”
Matthias looked down at Noah’s still form. “It’s difficult for me
to be close to Jillian; I can only imagine how bad it is for a
fledgling.”
I barely saw Declan
move, but he stormed toward Matthias, grabbing him and slamming him
hard against the railing of the stairs leading to the second floor.
He pressed his knife against Matthias’s chest until I could see a
patch of blood appear on his white shirt.
“No, Declan!” I
staggered closer to them on weak legs.
“Release me,”
Matthias hissed.
“You did that to him.
You changed him into a bloodsucking monster.” Declan’s face was red
with rage. “I’m going to fucking kill you.”
I grabbed his arm.
“Declan, stop! Don’t hurt him!”
“Don’t you see what
he did?” There was enough raw emotion in his voice to make me
realize that the permanent serum he’d been given was completely
worthless. Whatever Declan’s dhampyr nature was, and whatever it
was evolving into, couldn’t be held back by drugs
anymore.
The timing couldn’t
be worse. Emotion-free Declan would have been pissed about this
turn of events, but he wouldn’t look ready to destroy half of Los
Angeles in his quest to sink a silver blade into Matthias’s
chest.
“Yes, I see.” My
voice sounded breathless. “Noah’s a vampire now. And you need to
calm down before somebody gets hurt.”
“Why would you do
this?” Declan snapped at Matthias. “Why would you turn him into a
monster like you?”
“Declan—” I
began.
His head whipped
toward me. “What?”
I met his furious
gaze. “He did it because I asked him to.”