18
“It’s okay, Ally, go on in.”
Ally turned the new key and went into her house, Rob right behind her. Everything looked the same. Nothing else had been touched in the twenty-four hours since she’d left. She let out her breath and walked into the kitchen. The faucet was dripping, and the refrigerator buzzed like a chronic asthmatic, but that was nothing new.
Rob put a new set of keys on the table. “Here you go. There are two new back door keys and two for the front. I’ve got a set as well, which I’ll return to you as soon as this is all settled. The guy who came to change the locks says he’d also recommend getting some window locks and an alarm installed.”
“I’m sure he did, but I can’t afford to do that right now.” Ally picked up one set of the keys. “How much do I owe Jackson anyway?”
Rob shrugged. “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask him yourself.” He held out his hand. “Do you want me to put those new keys on your key ring for you?”
“I can do it myself, thanks.” Ally struggled to remove her old front door key and broke a nail in the process. She frowned down at her key ring. “Where’s my back door key?”
“Don’t you have it?”
Ally tried to remember. “I know you returned it to me after you made those copies, but what did I do with it then?” She stared at Rob. “If I lost it somewhere, that might be how the person got in.”
“When did you last use it?”
Ally started to pace the small kitchen, checking the work surfaces and bowls as she passed. “I don’t remember. The last couple of times, you guys have unlocked the doors for me.”
Rob shifted his weight. “Can you think about it some more? It might be important.”
Ally stopped walking and closed her eyes. “I’m thinking.
“I suppose it doesn’t matter too much anymore, seeing as you’ve changed all the locks, but it might give us some idea about when the key was taken.”
“I probably just lost it, Rob.”
“Maybe, but I’ve got to consider all the worst scenarios.”
“I suppose you do.”
Rob took a step toward her. “Look, Ally . . .”
She held up her hand. “I’m not sure I want to hear anything you have to say to me, Sheriff, and I have to get to work, okay?”
She picked up her new keys and walked out the back door, hoping to hell he’d get the message and keep away from her, even if it was just for a little while. She knew he’d never let it go and would be back demanding stuff from her, but she was not going to let him hound her into making decisions quite yet.
“Ally.” He’d followed her out, and she reluctantly looked back into his determined blue eyes. “I need your help to solve this.”
“And I don’t want to be anywhere near you.”
He winced. “Yeah, I get that, but you might be in danger. Someone’s trying to hurt you, and I just can’t let that happen.”
“Oh, right, because you’re a cop.”
A muscle twitched in his cheek. “Because despite everything, I care about you, and I want to make things right.”
Ally swallowed back the sting of tears. “Stop pretending you ‘care about me’ and just do your job.”
Rob looked like he wanted to argue about that, but after a long moment he continued. “How about you just give me a list of all the folks in town who you think might have a grudge against you or your mother.”
“You can just pull out the electoral roll and use that.”
He didn’t smile. “I’d appreciate it if you could be more specific.”
All traces of emotion had gone from his voice, and he was now pure cop. That was what she’d wanted, wasn’t it? So why did it hurt? “I’ll do that. Anything else?”
“Manpower permitting, we’ll probably have someone drive by the property regularly, especially when you are on the premises.”
“Okay, I can deal with that.”
“And, Ally, if anything freaks you out, even the smallest thing, you call me or Jackson right away, okay?”
“I’ll definitely call Jackson.”
Rob rubbed his hand over his unshaven jaw and suddenly looked more tired and defeated than Ally had ever seen before. “Whatever works for you—just promise me you’ll do it.”
“I will. Now I really have to get to work.”
“I’ll drive you.”
“No thanks.” Ally turned on her heel and walked away from him, her heart thumping, her knees threatening to give way. It wasn’t fair that she still wanted to do everything he told her to do, that her stupid body wanted to fling itself into his arms and beg him to make everything right for her.
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For a change, Lauren didn’t bug Ally too much on her shift and just let her get on with her work. While she cleaned tables, Ally thought about Rob’s request for her to write a list of all the people in town who had a big fat grudge against her. The trouble was, the most obvious candidate was working right alongside her in the diner and just happened to be the sheriff’s sister.
Ally thought it was far more likely to be one of the losers her mother had allowed to live in the house in exchange for sex and drugs. She couldn’t remember the names of all the guys Ruth had slept with, but some of them might have stayed around and become upstanding citizens in Spring Falls. Perhaps they were worried that Ruth had mentioned them in her journals or something. She’d never made a secret of her diaries.
She scraped a half-eaten egg into the trash. Why had Ruth kept the journals? It was surprising that in her later years when she’d gotten clean she hadn’t thrown out any reminders of her past. But maybe she’d left them for Ally. To help her . . .
“You can take your lunch, Ally.”
Ally looked up to see Lauren waving at her from the diner. “My lunch?”
Lauren looked exasperated. “Your break, then—just take it now and make it last half an hour, okay?”
Ally glanced at Fig, who raised his eyebrows at her and muttered, “Just take it, dude. She’s obviously in her happy place.”
“Okay, I’ve got to go to the library, anyway, and I’ll grab a sandwich at the coffee shop.” Ally took off her apron and kept her gaze on Lauren, just in case she was about to change her mind. “See you later, guys.”
 
Rob waited until Ally left before he walked back through the kitchen to Lauren’s office. He’d asked Lauren to get Ally out of the diner while they talked, aware that in the small space, loud voices would carry. And he suspected it was going to get loud. He knew he was walking a fine line, taking on his sister himself, but he couldn’t allow anyone else to do his dirty work. If there really was a case to answer, he’d do his civic duty and hand it over to another officer to investigate.
Lauren was waiting for him, so he closed the door behind him and took a seat on the couch.
“What’s up, big bro?” Lauren asked, her brown eyes narrowed, her foot tapping against her desk.
“I want to talk to you about Ally.”
“What’s she done now?”
“Did you know that someone broke into her house a couple of nights ago?”
“Into that dump? Whatever for?”
“That’s what I’m trying to establish.” Rob took out his notebook, and Lauren stiffened. “Can you tell me where you were on Sunday evening?”
“Are you serious? Do you really think I’d waste my time breaking into her crappy home? If I did get in there, I’d be more likely to suffocate her in her bed and get rid of her once and for all.”
“Is it any wonder I’m asking you these questions when you talk about her like that, Lauren? Everyone in town has heard you bad-mouthing her.”
“And that makes me a suspect?”
He met her gaze head-on. “Yeah, it does.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You’re serious, aren’t you? What the hell has she been saying about me?”
“Ally’s said nothing. But every single person I’ve talked to about this has mentioned your name.”
“So because I tell it how I see it, I must be guilty?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes the most obvious answer to a question is given by the person who shouts the loudest.”
“I didn’t break into her house, Rob, and you know it.”
Rob hardened himself against the outrage in her eyes. “Then tell me where you were that night and we’re done.”
“Fine, I was at home in my apartment.”
“All evening?”
“Yes!”
“Is there anyone who can vouch for you?”
“My cat.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t speak cat. Anyone else?”
“The pizza-delivery guy from Alfredo’s came about seven.”
Rob wrote that down. “Cool, I’ll check into that.” He stood up. “Thanks for being so helpful, Lauren.”
Lauren shot to her feet too. “I don’t get it, Rob. Why are you doing this? I’m beginning to see why Ally walked out on you in the first place.”
Suddenly, Rob felt weary. “Well, at least one good thing has come out of this, then.”
She grabbed his hand. “You don’t need her!”
Rob sighed. “I do, Lauren. I’m sorry but I do. I haven’t felt the same about anyone else since she left. You know that. How many women have you introduced me to over the years? Have I ever wanted any of them for anything except a few dates and a quick fuck?”
“That’s not true, I—”
Rob put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m a big boy now, sis. I can take care of myself, and I want Ally.”
“And what if she doesn’t want you?” Lauren whispered.
Fear coalesced in Rob’s gut. “If she doesn’t, it’s my own damned fault.” He squeezed Lauren hard. “I’ve gotta go. Thanks for the help, Lauren, and please, lay off Ally, will you? Someone’s trying to hurt her, and the last thing she needs is you on her back as well.”
Lauren bit down on her lip. “I’m not going to do that.”
Rob carried on as if she hadn’t spoken. “She’s so strong, Lauren. Strong enough to get away from her fucked-up mother and survive a drug addiction. I didn’t appreciate her enough before, but I sure as hell do now.” Lauren’s eyes flickered, but she didn’t say anything. “At least give her credit for growing up.” He shook his head. “You’re a better person than that, sis. Maybe it’s time for you to grow up, too, and get over this once and for all.”
He nodded, opened the door, and left before she could say anything else.
 
Ally glanced back down the street at the diner and thought she saw the flash of a white patrol car. Was Rob looking for her? If so, he was going to be unlucky, and she was pretty sure that Lauren wouldn’t help Rob find her. As she walked, she tried to work out how much longer she needed to get the house fixed up and whether she stood a chance of avoiding Rob for that long. Neither calculation came out well.
With a sigh, Ally went into the coffee shop and smiled as Nadia immediately poured her a cup of coffee and held it out. “You want a muffin with that, Ally?”
“Yes, please, Nadia.”
“Did I tell you that your mom worked here for a while when we first opened?”
“You didn’t.” Ally managed to smile.
“She gave her notice because she thought her presence here tainted our new business, and she didn’t want to make it fail.”
“Yeah, I hear she was thoughtful like that,” Ally muttered.
“Yes, she was. You are much like her.” Nadia paused. “Hey, do you knit?”
“Yeah, I do. How did you know?”
“Ruth knitted as well, and a little bird told me that you’ve been getting pattern books from the library. I run a knitting circle on Wednesday nights. Do you want to come?”
“That would be awesome,” Ally said quickly. She’d taken up knitting in the rehab place when she’d needed something to do with her hands and had come to love it. “I didn’t know my mom knitted.”
Another link to Ruth and, perhaps more importantly, an opportunity to get reacquainted with some of the town residents who might have stories to offer about Ruth to help her understand her mom better. And she needed to do that. She realized it now. Perhaps coming back to Spring Falls hadn’t been all about Rob after all. . . .
Nadia was still speaking. “Don’t forget about the job, either, will you? I don’t think this town would survive now without my baked goods and my husband’s coffee.” She patted Ally’s arm. “I don’t want this nonsense to make you leave again. It will all settle down. I’m sure of it.”
Ally wasn’t quite so certain, but she took the muffin and coffee and found an empty seat in the corner. Yet another example of a mother she didn’t know and had never been allowed to know . . . She checked the time and blew hard on her coffee. Lauren had given her half an hour, but she still didn’t want to be back late, and she had to check the library for the book she’d requested online.
“Hey, Ally.”
She looked up to find Jackson smiling down at her.
“Hey.” She tore her gaze away from his and stared at her coffee. He didn’t seem to take the hint and instead pulled out the chair opposite her and sat down.
“You’re still mad.”
She flicked a glance at him. “Well, duh.”
“And if I tell you you’re overreacting?”
“I’d tell you to mind your own business.”
“It is my business. I’m part of this. I’m not going to let you or Rob take over again.”
“Rob’s the only one who does that.”
“You’re both behaving like idiots.”
“He used me, Jackson.”
“And have you let him explain anything?”
“What is there to explain?”
“How did you feel when he wouldn’t listen to you on the night you left?”
“I felt awful. That’s one of the reasons why I ran so far and didn’t come back until now.”
“And now you’re doing the same to him? Shutting him down before he can explain? Getting your own back before you walk out on him again and break his heart?”
“It’s not like that. He only wanted sex. He told me so.”
Jackson reached across and took her hand. “Ally, you know that isn’t true.”
“What do you want me to do, Jackson? Go and kiss his ass and tell him he’s right and I’m wrong? I can’t do that.”
“I don’t expect you to. I just want you to think about talking to him before you make any firm decisions about leaving. Is that too much to ask?”
Ally looked into his dark eyes. “This is such a mess. I didn’t mean to drag you into this either.”
His smile lit up his face. “You have given me my life back. I don’t want you to leave town.” He squeezed her fingers hard. “Do you want to stay?”
“How can I?”
He stood up and put his sunglasses back on. “You can—you just have to want it.”
Ally stared at his back as he went up to the counter to get his coffee. How dare he make it seem so easy? She knew what he really meant. She should forgive Rob and everything would be fine again. Well, she couldn’t do that. Rob had stepped over the line one too many times for her liking.
She bit into her muffin and envisaged leaving town, the house sold, and enough money in her pocket to do whatever she wanted. But all the people she truly loved were right here in Spring Falls. Ally almost choked on the crumbs. She didn’t love Jackson and Rob; she was just using them for sex like they were using her. Even her conscience laughed at that lie.
Ally stood up, her stomach churning and her mind in chaos. She didn’t want to love anyone. Love hurt like crazy, and she didn’t want to go through that again. She threw the rest of her muffin in the trash and walked out, her coffee gripped in her hand. Outside, she breathed in the hot, dry California air and fought to regain her composure.
In the distance, she watched Jackson cross the square and head into the old courthouse. He was right about one thing: She would have to make some decisions soon, and all of them would require some sort of compromise.
She turned to the library, which faced the courthouse across the square, and made her way through the wide oak doors. As usual, Mrs. Orchard manned the front desk, her poppy-patterned blouse a riot of color over her imposing bosom.
“Good afternoon, Ally, and how may I help you?”
“Hi, Mrs. Orchard. I ordered a book online, so I’ve come to pick it up.”
“Slide your card for me dear and I’ll check.” Mrs. Orchard tapped away on the keyboard and then nodded. “It’s here. I’ll go and find it for you.”
Ally waited patiently at the desk, the quiet solitude of the library easing her mind and making her relax.
“Here you are.” Mrs. Orchard waved the book at her. “Now here’s a funny thing, Ally. The last person to get this book out was your mother, Ruth.”
Ally glanced at the title of the book; it was one Jill had recommended. “My mom read Stop Repeating the Same Destructive Relationships and Become the Woman You Were Meant to Be?
Mrs. Orchard lowered her voice and leaned in closer to Ally. “She read a lot of these kinds of books. I don’t really believe in them, but they certainly seemed to help her. She became a much better person after you left.”
“So everyone keeps telling me.”
“Now, Ally, I know you had it rough, but at least your mom tried to turn her life around at the end.”
Ally managed a tight smile before she walked out. Anger sat like a lead weight high in her chest. She didn’t want to hear about what a great person Ruth was ever again. Ruth had been a terrible mother and hadn’t even protected her own daughter from harm.
Ally veered off the path and took a detour into the small grassy sitting area in the center of the square. She clutched the library book to her chest and sank down on the grass, her back against one of the old oak trees. The light dazzled her eyes, and she closed them tight, bringing up memories of her childhood and of her mother.
With a groan, Ally wrapped her arms around her knees and rested her forehead on them. What weird instinct had made her jump to defend her mother when all the evidence suggested she might at least have been involved in what had happened to Susan? Just because she was identifying with her mother’s struggle with addiction didn’t make them exactly the same. Ruth hadn’t been aware of much that went on in her own house, hadn’t listened when Ally had desperately begged her not to allow some of the men to stay.
Logically she knew Rob had a point, but it was difficult to hear her mother being vilified again. She’d tried so hard to pretend that everything was normal and that her mom wasn’t a crazy, spaced-out mess. She’d even wanted to believe in the new Ruth, the clean, drug-free friend to all. But she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. Ally raised her head and stared at the old courthouse. And that meant she needed to grow up and help Rob sort this out.