5
Ally dumped the load of trash from her mailbox on
the kitchen table and sorted through it. At least the newspapers
would come in handy for the floors and for packing up her mom’s
stuff. The coupons she would also keep—a habit she’d gotten into
when she’d first had to learn to live within a miniscule budget.
She sat down and sorted through the rest of the stuff. There was
nothing from her bank, which was good, but there was a redirected
postcard from her old rehab buddy Dave, who’d ended up backpacking
across the country.
She smiled as she read his two-line
comment. He seemed fine and so free. So unlike the zombified
cokehead she’d first met at the Caring Heart Rehab
Center.
She found a pair of scissors and
carefully cut coupons, pausing to read the local news and scan the
meager job section as she worked. A flyer caught her attention, and
she pulled it from the pile and smoothed it out. The local diner
was looking for help. Ally’s heart gave a little jump. Who owned
the diner now? Hopefully someone who’d moved into town after she’d
left and had no idea who she was. She’d present herself there early
tomorrow morning and hope for the best. It wouldn’t be the first
time she’d washed dishes or put out the trash to earn a few
bucks.
A tap on the back door made her turn
around and peer at the all-too-familiar shape of Rob outlined in
the glass. She tidied up the coupons and folded the job ad before
putting them all away in the nearest drawer. It was only then that
she crossed to the door and opened it a crack.
“Rob?”
“Ally. Can I come in?”
“Is it police business?”
“Not really. I just wanted to see how
you were doing.”
She let the door swing wide and walked
back to the kitchen table. “I’m doing fine.”
His smile was slow to come. “I’m glad
to hear it.” He hesitated, one hand still on the door. “I’m off
duty.”
“I guessed that.”
“Why?”
“Because you came around the back so
that no one would see you. I bet you parked two blocks away
too.”
“You said you didn’t want any gossip,
Ally.”
“And you do?” Ally squared up to him.
“No one in this town wants you anywhere near me.”
“I’m not responsible for what the town
wants or thinks. I’m an adult.”
“Who’s quite happy to mess around with
me on the quiet?”
He came closer. “You don’t have to be
quiet for me, honey. I like it when you scream.”
Ally suppressed a shiver as the tone of
his voice deepened. “Does everything have to be about
sex?”
“Between you and me? I guess so.” He
took the chair opposite her. “So how about that?”
“About what?”
“The sex.”
“Is that why you’re here?”
“Of course.”
She sighed. “I don’t know, Rob. You . .
. confuse me and I don’t need that right now.”
“What’s confusing?”
She took a deep breath and met his
intent blue gaze. “I’ve spent a long time trying to sort my head
out. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and I’m a better and stronger
person.” She grimaced. “I’m not trying to go all Oprah on you, but
I really am.”
“And what does that have to do with
sex?”
“Because . . .” She paused. “God, Rob,
you know.”
He sat back and studied her. “That’s
one of the reasons why you ran away, isn’t it? I scared
you.”
She shook her head. “You were always
intense about sex. What I’ve got to try and understand is what
I want, and that still isn’t
clear.”
“Now you’re just confusing
me.”
She clasped her hands together tightly
on the table. “Do you know why I quit modeling?”
“I didn’t know that you’d quit it
completely. I kind of assumed you’d been working overseas or
something.”
“No, I had to quit.”
He studied her face. “Because you were
getting too old?”
“Very funny. Thanks for the confidence
boost, but I quit before I was pushed.” She forced herself to meet
his skeptical gaze. “I had a severe addiction to alcohol and drugs,
and I checked myself into rehab.”
His blue eyes widened. “I don’t
remember reading about that in the tabloids.”
“That’s because I got out before I
totally disgraced myself. There were a couple of close calls that
my agency and publicist managed to keep out of the press. Jackson
probably knows the details from when he worked in New York.” She
bit down on her lip. “I lived with an addict, Rob. I knew the
signs, and I really didn’t want to become my mother.”
“That was a pretty brave thing to do,”
he said softly.
“It didn’t seem so at the time. It was
the death knell of my career, because it meant I defaulted on a lot
of long-term contracts and modeling assignments. I kept trying to
put it off, but eventually I knew if I didn’t take care of myself,
I’d end up dead.”
“So you did the smart thing.” He
reached across the table to squeeze her hand. “Not that I’m
surprised. You’ve always been braver than you
realized.”
“Running away wasn’t very brave.” She
looked down at his hand holding hers. “That was stupid and I hurt
you.”
He nodded, his expression
stark.
She took a deep breath. “I still don’t
think having sex is the best way to make it up to you, though.” God
that was a lie. The thought of having sex with him again made her
squirm.
He frowned. “But shouldn’t it be up to
me to decide the best way you can make amends?”
She regarded him warily. “I suppose
that’s one way of looking at it.”
“Do you like having sex with
me?”
“I’m not sure.” Another lie. Would he
see through it? A quiver of anticipation ran through
her.
“So why can’t we just have
sex?”
“Because nothing is ever that simple,
is it?”
“It can be.”
“But that’s the whole point, Rob. I
can’t just ‘let’ you take over my sex life.”
“Yeah, you can.” He let go of her hands
and stood up, suddenly filling the small kitchen. She waited as he
pushed back his chair and came around the table to her. His fingers
slid under her chin, and he raised her head until he could fit his
mouth over hers. His kiss was dark, needy, and totally possessive,
and she loved it, felt her whole body turn liquid with
longing.
His other hand slid around her waist,
and he drew her to her feet. She moaned as he continued to devour
her mouth, nipping at her lips, his tongue thrusting deep. When he
drew back, she was panting and couldn’t look away.
“Don’t overcomplicate everything. You
want it, and you want me. That’s it, honey. You can definitely make
amends and I’ll definitely let you.”
His hand slid under her thin T-shirt,
and his palm flattened on her back, pushing her even closer into
his embrace. She could feel the beat of his heart, his harsh
breathing, and the hot press of his erection.
“Suck my cock, Ally.”
“Rob . . .”
He just looked at her, and she found
herself sinking to her knees. He shoved down his pants and
presented her with the sight of his thick, heavy shaft, already wet
and straining toward her. “Suck me, Ally.”
The note of command did it, and she
leaned forward obediently to swallow his cock down. He groaned his
appreciation, his hips rocking into her, adding to the friction, to
the need, making her take all of him and at his pace and direction.
No one else had ever taken control of her like this. No one had
ever dared.
After Rob, she’d picked her boyfriends
very carefully and ultimately found them deeply unsatisfying. Was
that why this was so deeply rewarding? To be on her knees, her head
held in Rob’s firm grasp, her mouth full of his thrusting,
demanding cock.
He gasped her name and thrust even
harder, holding her chained to his rhythm until his final push
emptied his come way down her throat in long, pulsing waves. She
shivered as he slowly released his grip on her and helped her to
her feet.
“Are you wet for me now?”
She could only nod and lick her lips,
tasting him all over again. He backed her up against the nearest
chair and guided her down onto it. She didn’t stop him from
stripping off her shorts and panties and spreading her thighs wide.
With a soft sound, he went down on his knees and licked her sex,
his tongue lingering and gliding through her already-wet and
swollen folds, his fingers following the path of his tongue to
create their own magic.
She gasped as he pushed three fingers
deep, his thumb flicking at her clit as she writhed under him. His
radio crackled to life, and she felt him curse against her flesh.
While he fumbled for the radio, he kept his fingers embedded inside
her.
“Yeah.” He sounded remarkably calm.
“Ally’s.”
He put the radio on the table and
returned his attention to her, used his mouth and fingers on her
until she had to climax.
When she eventually opened her eyes,
she saw he’d taken the chair opposite her again, his skin flushed,
his lazy blue gaze full of sensual satisfaction. Ally struggled to
match his composure. “Who were you talking to?”
“Jackson.”
“He was checking up on
you?”
His smile was brief. “He’s like
that.”
“I know, but . . .”
“He wants me to keep away from
you.”
Ally stared at Rob. “Because he doesn’t
want you to get hurt, right?”
“No, because he wants me to give you a
chance to sort out your shit and get out of here without my
input.”
“It’s a bit late for that, isn’t
it?”
“Yeah.” Rob looked down at his unzipped
pants. “I’d better go or he’ll turn up here.”
Ally imagined Jackson busting in on her
and Rob having sex. “I wonder what he’d do if he did?”
His smile died to be replaced by
something far more intimate. “You’d probably like it if he joined
in, wouldn’t you? I seem to remember that was always one of your
favorite fantasies.”
Ally felt her skin heating. “The
reality wasn’t quite as exciting as I’d always pictured
it.”
“You mean when I found you and Jackson
in bed?” Rob sighed. “Hell, if Susan hadn’t been there screaming
abuse at you both, I’m not sure what I would’ve done.”
“I think you expressed yourself quite
adequately when you told me to get out of your life.”
Pain and something that looked like
regret flickered in his direct blue gaze. “I was a complete fucking
idiot.”
Ally raised her eyebrows. “I thought I
was supposed to be the one apologizing.”
His heated gaze slid over her flushed
face and her thin T-shirt. “Honey, I’m not stopping you from
‘apologizing.’ ”
Sometimes it was both a blessing and a
curse that Rob knew her so well. She raised her chin and gave him
back his stare. “After what happened last time, Jackson would
probably be scared to come near me anyway.”
Rob smiled. “You’d be surprised what
Jackson wants. Can’t you picture it? You bent over this table right
now, me fucking you and Jackson’s cock filling your mouth. You’d
love that, honey, wouldn’t you?”
Ally could only stare at him as he
kissed her again, his taste her taste, his breath mingling with her
own. He whispered against her lips, “Shall I call him, Ally? I’ll
do it if you want me to.”
Ally pushed him away and retreated to
the other side of the table. “Do you remember that bit about
‘complicated,’ Rob? Don’t you think adding Jackson to the mix would
make it even worse?”
He straightened up his clothing,
retrieved his belt, and buckled it low around his hips like a
gunslinger. “It sure would make it interesting. But if it got some
animation into Jackson’s face, I’d be happy to go along with
it.”
Ally picked up her sweater and wrapped
it over her shoulders. “He does seem different somehow. He was
always kind of quiet, but now . . .”
“He’s closed off
completely.”
“Yeah.” For a moment their eyes met,
and Ally was thrust back into the past when they’d all worried
about each other and tried to deal with all the stresses of being
teenagers.
Rob took a key out of his pocket and
laid it on the table. “This is for the back door of my house. When
you’re ready, come and see me.” He retrieved his cap and headed for
the back door. “We’re not finished here, and it’s not complicated
at all. We both want sex. What could be simpler than
that?”
Ally bit her lip. “But the kind of sex
you want, Rob, isn’t simple at all.”
“Sure it is.” He nodded at her. “Now
you’re old enough to decide if that’s what you want too. You’ve
been so brave about dealing with all the other stuff in your life.
How about dealing with me too? I’ll be waiting, Ally, so make up
your mind.”
“What happens if I say
no?”
He considered her for a long moment. “I
won’t form a posse to drive you out of town, if that’s what you’re
worried about.”
“You’ll just let me go?”
All the animation left his face. “I
can’t force you to stay, Ally.”
She watched him leave and locked the
door after him, her emotions in turmoil, her body berating her for
not inviting him into her bed and having the best sex she’d ever
had. But it wasn’t that simple. She had to
understand what she was getting into, and despite what Rob said,
they had a history that would surely interfere with his notion of a
clean slate of remorse-free sex.
Ally wrapped her arms around herself.
What would submitting to Rob reveal about her, and did she really
want to take the risk of finding out? Since Rob, she’d steered
clear of any man who’d wanted to boss her around in
bed.
She washed her hands and stared out the
window. But she’d be doing it for Rob, not for herself. It was only
sex after all. She’d fought so hard not to be a doormat in all the
other areas of her life that it felt like giving in to Rob was a
betrayal. But was it? She eyed the key he’d left on the table.
Didn’t making that choice for herself
reaffirm her own independence?
And he was giving her a choice. That at
least, she believed. This time she’d be going in with her eyes
open, not feeling like some frightened eighteen-year-old who’d had
no idea how to deal with Rob’s demands. And she wanted him, wanted
him to make love to her so badly her whole body shook with
it.
Rob walked slowly back to his patrol
car, aware that his cock was hard again and that he wanted to turn
around and beg Ally to let him into her bed. But he was done with
begging and done with the past. He needed her to make a choice. Why
couldn’t they simply start fresh, pretend they were strangers just
interested in a quick fuck with no strings attached?
A dog barked as he came close to
someone’s back fence, and he almost jumped. His admiration for Ally
grew. The thought of her struggling to deal with drugs and alcohol
without much support made him wish he’d been there for her. But he
knew from talking to Jackson that choosing to get clean was
something that had to come from within.
Had his behavior contributed to her
issues? Perhaps he’d been too intent on making her into what he
wanted her to be. He’d thrived on her adoration and her desire for
him. Hell, any teenage guy would’ve been the same.
“Rob!”
Rob looked up from his contemplation of
the fence to find Jane Evans smiling at him. He’d forgotten she
lived in this neighborhood. “Hey, Jane, how are you
doing?”
“I’m just fine, Rob. What are you doing
out and about this fine evening?”
“Just checking up on the development.
We’ve had some reports of graffiti and broken glass.”
Jane patted his arm. “That would be at
the Kendal house. Poor Ally has such a lot to put up
with.”
Rob looked her over. “You’re okay with
Ally being back?”
She squeezed his bicep. “Of
course.”
“You don’t bear a grudge for what
happened to Susan?”
“Oh, Susan.” Jane shrugged. “I’ve
already told you I think she was stupid. I would never have allowed
myself to get into such a state over a guy, especially over
Jackson.” Her smile was inviting. “I’m glad Ally left town and left
you behind.”
Rob gently disengaged her hand from his
arm. He’d been out with Jane a couple of times and found her good
company, but he hadn’t taken her to bed. Sunny do-gooders were
never really his type, and she was supersunny today.
“Well, good to see you, Jane.” He
nodded and started walking toward his patrol car. She followed him,
which he noted was back the way she’d come.
“There’s a new movie opening in
Grandstown tonight. Do you want to go?”
He fitted his key in the lock and
opened the car door. “I can’t tonight. I’m working, but thanks for
the offer.”
She smiled. “No worries, I’ll catch you
another day. See you around.”
He started the engine and watched her
walk away, her soft floral skirt swinging over her nicely rounded
ass, her long dark hair blowing in the breeze. There was no doubt
she was easy on the eyes and she never took offense when he said he
had to work, which, in his profession, was a good thing. He never
felt pressured by her either; they had a good time, they both went
home, and that was the end of it.
Rob sighed and looked over his shoulder
before pulling away from the curb and heading back to town. Pity he
couldn’t fall in love with Jane, when she’d make it so easy for
him. Ally really had a lot to answer for. He smiled. She’d
obviously made prickly and defensive his thing.