Forty-one
AFTER HE SIGNALED DOYLE AND EVERYBODY CLEARED out,
he was left alone with Owl, who wasn’t in any shape to go stomping
off when he asked awkward questions.
The wooden box from her shop—the one that had
played host to his knives for a while—was in the top drawer of the
sideboard. He brought it out and laid it on the table. You could
call that a conversation piece.
She worked on her coffee in little sips, eking it
out as long as she could, avoiding the moment when she’d have to
come up with explanations for having three of his knives.
He wasn’t in a hurry. He fetched the silver
coffeepot and poured into her cup. Added cream the way she liked
it. “Two lumps?”
“Thank you.”
Enough sugar to set his teeth on edge. That hadn’t
changed. “We can go to the study, if you like. There’s a sofa in
there. I can let you lie down.” He handed the cup over.
“I have been lying flat for several days. It loses
its appeal.”
Owl, lying flat, never lost its appeal. He didn’t
point that out. He was the pattern card of discretion.
The banyan was embroidered with dragons, a gift
from an old friend who dealt in cloth. One lascivious lizard curled
all comfy on her left breast, tongue out, as if he were tasting her
nipple through the cloth. The black dragon on the back, the one
with a smile, had his pointy tail hung down so it was caressing the
rounded arse underneath.
He didn’t let his mind follow that path, however
much it tugged at the leash and whined.
She wrapped both hands around the little cup and
sank back, boneless, in the chair, her head bowed, considering the
coffee. She looked tired. Getting stabbed, poisoned, and fighting
off fever had worn her down a little.
She’d primmed the sensual complexity of her hair,
scraped it away from her face. Tamed it to an orderly braid to fall
down her back. But it wasn’t tied up at the bottom. Maybe she
hadn’t found a ribbon. Even the concerted force of her will wasn’t
going to keep it from unraveling.
He stood close, breathing down onto all the bare
skin at her neck. It wouldn’t intimidate her—he couldn’t think of
anything right off that was likely to intimidate her—and he could
catch her if she started to slip sideways.
Always a pleasure to watch Owl. He’d missed that.
“You’re quiet.”
“I am thinking of the several things I must say to
you. None of them is easy.”
Probably she was weighing her lies. Sorting the big
ones from the small ones. Wondering what she could get away with.
God, but he loved this woman. “I’m a patient man. Begin at the
beginning.”
She sighed out slowly. “It is not the beginning,
but it is the most recent of our encounters. You rescued me from
the Cossacks. I wanted to kill you. You will remember that.”
“Vividly.”
IT was in the last days before Paris fell. Armies
were scattered around the French countryside, fighting off and on.
He’d been liaison to the Prussians. Napoleon put up a defense a
half day south.
There was gunfire in the distance, but the front
line was so mixed up, that could be anybody shooting at anybody
else. The Prussians were using him to run messages back and forth
and report what was happening, generally. He was so tired he hurt
like one big bruise. He smelled like his horse.
Some Cossack officers he knew spotted him and
called him over. They needed help interrogating a prisoner. A
woman.
He ducked under the tent flap. She was sitting on
an old wooden stool, bloodied, with torn clothes. She hadn’t been
raped. He’d been in time to stop that.
“She fought like a tiger.” Pavlo was admiring.
“Fortunately, the sergeant she stabbed wasn’t popular.”
Owl looked up and knew it was over. He watched her
face break.
He said, “I know this one. She’s harmless.”
It had been a dozen years since she’d shot him on
the steps in the Louvre. In all those years, all those cities, they
hadn’t crossed paths often. When they did, it had been
interesting.
She’d changed from the woman he’d known. She was
exhausted to the edge of endurance, for one thing. Pale, with her
eyes set in hollows like two big bruises and her mouth slack. She
hadn’t given up though. She was calculating, planning, scheming,
ready to pay any price and take any chance to get away. Behind her
eyes she was . . . she was just more. Everything she’d been when he
knew her twelve years before, she was more of now. More strong.
More shrewd. More stubborn.
“She’s just another courier,” he said. “She doesn’t
know anything.”
The papers she had on her were in one of the
standard French codes—a message for Napoleon’s eyes. The attack on
St. Dizier was a feint. The real drive was direct to Paris. He had
no idea how she’d found that out.
He said she wasn’t worth the trouble of guarding.
Said it set a bad example, shooting women. When he took her out of
the tent with him, they probably thought he was marching her off
for his own use.
He made her walk a mile from the Cossack camp
before he stopped his horse. The road ran along the marshes around
the lake.
“Your shoes,” he said.
Wordlessly, she took the clogs off and handed them
over. He threw them as far as he could, in different directions,
far out over the marsh.
St. Dizier was fifty miles away. Alone, unarmed,
walking barefoot, even Justine wouldn’t make it to Napoleon in
time. Paris would fall. It was the end.
“I will kill you for this.” She stood in the dirt
of the road, her arms crossed over her breasts like she was holding
her heart inside. “I will wait until you no longer expect it, and
then I will kill you. Do not sleep deeply.”
SHE sat in his headquarters at Meeks Street in the
Chinese dining room, wrapped in his dragons, and drank his
coffee.
“That day, outside the Cossack camp. I said a great
many things.” She consulted her coffee cup. “I was beyond
myself.”
“I knew that.”
“You were the enemy, and you destroyed our last
hope.”
“It was already too late before I saw you in that
tent. Everybody knew that but Napoleon. He was outnumbered. The
country was sick of war. All he could do was pick the battleground
where he’d lose. If you’d got through to him, he would have taken
the final battle to the walls of Paris. Did you want house-to-house
fighting across the Latin Quarter? Artillery fire from
Montmartre?”
“I see that now. That day, I knew only that I had
failed in my duty.” The past filled her face. She was a long way
away. “I tried to get to Napoleon, and every step of the long way,
I planned how I would kill you.”
“You were inventive about it, I imagine.”
“There has never been a man in the history of the
world who was killed as ingeniously as you were, in my mind, that
day. I tried so hard, and I failed. When they told me Paris had
surrendered, I sat upon the floor of a farmhouse and wept.”
Nothing he could say. The war was over. “He had to
be stopped.”
“I have had a long time to think about this. I do
not say you are wrong. But then . . . Paris was full of foreign
armies. Prussians strutted about the Champs-Élysées. The cafés were
full of Austrians. Cossacks camped on the Champs de Mars.
Everywhere I turned, I became sick with rage. I was forsaken and
mad with grief. So I blamed you.”
“You think I don’t understand that?”
“I would have spit upon your understanding, if you
had offered it to me then.” She gave a crooked smile. “I was most
utterly alone. There was no place for me in the new scheme of
things. Even the Police Secrète became suddenly supporters of the
monarchy. Those of us who had been loyal to Napoleon found it
prudent to leave France.”
“To England.”
“It is ironic that the safest place for me was
here, openly among my old enemies.”
“Ironic.”
“But I lie.” She took a deep breath. “As I lay in
bed this morning, I promised myself I would not do that. Habit is
very strong. I came to England because you were here.” She glanced
at the knives that lay in the center of the table, being
decorative. “I had decided, very cold-bloodedly, that I would kill
you.”
“I hope you changed your mind.” Gods, but I hope
you changed your mind.
“I am being honest about complex matters. It is not
easy, and you are not helpful in the least.” She always got more
French when she was annoyed.
He touched her cheek. One brush with his finger.
Anybody looking on would have thought it was just friendly. “We
never hurt each other. We played fair. Leaving aside that one
deplorable incident fifteen years ago, you never shot me.”
“I was never put in a position where it was my duty
to kill you. Fortune has been kind.”
“You should thank the Service.” He grinned at her.
“After you put a bullet in vital parts of my anatomy, they kept me
away from you for years. Sent me to Russia while you were in Paris.
Then to France when you were in Italy. To Italy, when you were in
Austria. I figured it out later.”
Her face flickered like a candle with all those
shifting thoughts inside. “Soulier—I became one of Soulier’s
people, as you know—Soulier said nothing. But you are right. He
kept us apart. I have done as much for the women who worked for me
when they were enamored of someone unsuitable.”
“Nobody more unsuitable than me.”
“No one.” She negotiated terms with the robe,
plucking it up over her thigh where it had slid down, her and the
robe having different ideas of what should show and what shouldn’t.
“I wrote letters to you, do you know? A hundred letters. I
explained and explained that the gunshot was an accident. I told
you that I had not meant to hit you. Leblanc struck my arm and the
shot went astray.”
“Well, that’s nice to know.”
“I did not mail the letters. I would write them and
burn them. If I had once sent the smallest note to you—once—I knew
I would wake up the next week and hear you outside my window,
asking to come in. And I would open the window. I did not stop
being a fool for you, ’Awker. Not for one moment in many long
years. They were right to keep us apart.”
“Wait a minute. I’m still back thinking about you
opening the window and letting me in. What were you wearing?’
“Or I might have opened the window and pulled you
inside and strangled you. That is not an impossibility.” She didn’t
finish her coffee. She set it on the table, emphatic-like. “But I
am telling you of the time after I left Paris. I went to Socchieve,
in Italy, before I went to England. I was still planning to kill
you, you understand.”
“Italy’s a great place for vengeance.” He
remembered Socchieve. Mountains on all sides like the earth was
folded in on you. Snow high up, warm if you walked an hour
downhill. Cows. Austria and France had got together to do their
fighting in Italy. “That was a long time ago. We never did pay the
shot at that inn. Did the Austrians burn the place?”
“It had escaped their notice. It is now run by the
son of the old man we met. They kept the luggage, yours and mine,
because they had no liking for the Austrians and hoped we would be
lucky enough to escape them. Then they continued to keep the bags.
It may be they were very honest, but I think they put them in an
attic and forgot.”
“One of the bags had my knives in it.”
“Which you were so proud of and insisted on
throwing into the wood of the mantel. The holes are still there.
They tell stories about us in that village, none of which are true.
Somehow they learned you were the Black Hawk. You would not
recognize yourself in those stories.”
“I was there less than a week.”
“You are credited with a slaughter of Austrians so
large I am amazed any still walk the earth. I took out your knives
and my tortoiseshell comb and gave the inn everything else to use
as they would.
“Three of my knives.”
“Those three.” She went meditative, considering the
knives on the table. “They have been troublesome.” Then she said,
“It was strange to go through those bags and remember the people we
had been. It was like looking at strangers.”
They’d made love in a high meadow. Not a flat foot
of ground anywhere, just straggly grass and wildflowers. He put his
coat down and they crushed flowers underneath them. The smell
wrapped his senses till he couldn’t think.
Sometime, in between kisses, he said he loved her.
She said, “Don’t.”
Afterward, the sun set and the snow on the mountain
peaks turned red and they went off to spy on the Austrian camp.
He’d been eighteen. He didn’t know what year he was born, so maybe
nineteen.
That was a long time ago, as Owl pointed out, and
they were different people now. He was talking to a woman who had
run major parts of the Police Secrète, not a young girl with her
hair down over her breast and yellow wildflower pollen brushed on
her skin.
“On the way to England, I had time to think. I
found myself leaving old parts of my life behind me, discarded in
the mountains, or floating on the sea. It was as if I were
unpacking heavy trunks and tossing out things I no longer needed. I
had ceased to be a spy for France. The France I had known was gone
forever.” She pulled her braid forward, over her shoulder, and took
to rummaging in the little curves and valleys of it.
Her hair was darker than it had been in that
mountain village. He remembered holding a handful of her hair to
his face, feeling it with the skin of his nose and his lips,
smelling it, when they made love.
“When I came to England, I no longer hated you. I
brought no dark purposes with me from the past.”
He believed her. He’d interrogated his share of men
and women. They didn’t lie with their eyes looking inward. They
didn’t lay out their souls and dissect them on the table in front
of him, the way Owl was doing.
She rubbed her arm where the bandage was. The lines
at the corners of her mouth said it hurt and she was ignoring that.
“I remade myself yet again. I opened my shop, Voyages, and became a
dealer in maps and optical instruments and dried fruit. I am the
best at what I do. Perhaps the best in the world.”
“I’ve seen your shop. Impressive.”
She leaned forward, into a long ray of sun. The
fine hair that sprang up at her temples, small and unruly, caught
the light just right, and everything glinted in fifty or a hundred
sparks. “Men come to me—even famous men—when they are determined to
risk their lives in dangerous places. I sell them what they must
have to survive. I send them out prepared, as I once sent my agents
out to do their work.”
“Military Intelligence comes to you.” More irony.
Military Intelligence, outfitted by a former French spy.
“But the British Service do not. Not ever. They
know about the little weakness you had for me once, ’Awker, and
they keep their distance.” For an instant that amused her and she
smiled. But she clouded over the next minute. “This is important.
This is what I have to tell you. You know that I mount weapons upon
the left wall of my shop. You will have seen them. Some are for
sale. Some only for display because they are interesting. Men like
to look at weapons. Three years ago, that first day I opened the
door or my shop, while Thompson and Chetri were polishing the
windows one last time, I put your knives on the wall.”
“Ah.” Now this he hadn’t known.
“I told myself they were a sort of trophy. Or a
challenge. Or a memory of the past. I do not know. I think I
expected you to walk in one morning and claim them back and we
would talk . . . But you did not come. After a few weeks, I took
them down and put them away.”
“I was in France. Owl, I was in France for
months.”
“I learned that later.” The banyan had a thick, red
brocaded belt. She untied the knot and pulled the belt closer about
her and tied it again. “I knew when you came to England. You walked
by the shop sometimes. But you never came in.” She added another
knot. “It was because of the words I said outside of Paris. I have
told more lies than any woman you will meet in your life. Not one
of my lies has been as bitter to me as the truth that I told that
day.”
“Owl—”
“I should have returned your knives to you at that
time. I did not know quite how. There is nothing more embarrassing
than importunity from a lover of long ago.”
“I should have opened the damn door and walked in.
I almost did, a few times.” He’d been stupid. And a
coward.
“There was no reason for you to do so. What we felt
for one another was gone. You had become Head of the British
Intelligence Service. You were Sir Adrian, no longer the ’Awker I
had once known. You had made yourself rich. I was the discredited
spy of a fallen empire.”
She was going paler as she talked, probably getting
ready to pitch forward in a faint. He wasn’t going to let this go
on much longer.
“You think any of that mattered?”
“You did not come to me.”
“I made a mistake,” he said.
“We have both made more mistakes in our life than
it is possible to count.” She smiled wryly, and she was Justine
DuMotier, French spymaster, the woman who’d routed some of his best
operations. “That is past. We will concentrate upon the present. I
read of a stabbing, a Frenchman. It was some time ago, now. I did
not take particular notice, since I am no longer in the business of
watching and analyzing such matters. Then the next stabbing came.
Another Frenchman, and there was mention of a black knife.” Her
eyes were very clear, very fierce, when they met his. “I have not
forgotten my old skills. I did not need to see those knives at Bow
Street. I knew at once.”
“So you came to me.”
“Not immediately. I went first to look upon
Patelin’s corpse, laid out in the back room of a tavern, and to see
the place where he was killed. Then I visited Bow Street and bribed
my way into the evidence room to see the knives. Perhaps that was
where your enemies picked up my trail and began following. Or
perhaps they were watching Voyages. Mr. Thompson has said for
months he feels eyes upon us. Somewhere, between Voyages and Meeks
Street, they acted.”
“Used that third knife on you.”
“One man, very young, but already with experience.
I had a glimpse of the side of his face. The knives that were
stolen from me were used to attack you.”
He put his hand on her shoulder, being careful,
because that was the arm that hurt her. “Used against you,
actually.”
“It is the same thing.”