“Me too.” Esti smiled. “I’ve missed you a lot.”

“I’ve been worried. At least now I can tell everyone that Jane Doe is still alive and normal, with crumbs all over her chin.”

“Normal? I’d be right at home in a psych ward.”

Carmen laughed. “You are coming to school for finals, aren’t you?”

“I’ll be there. I just couldn’t handle the gossip this week while I tried to study. Aurora convinced Headmaster Fleming that I should stay home for a few days.”

“What really happened to you?” Carmen stared at her with wide eyes. “You won’t believe what people are saying at school.”

“You tell me what people are saying,” Esti said, “then I’ll tell you the truth.” At least I’ll tell you what I’m trying to believe.

She studied her friend in guilty resignation, wondering if Carmen might also be hiding a seething separate life beneath her happy, wide-eyed exterior. Not possible, she decided. Carmen was too eager and open, telling all the details of everything she knew to anyone who would listen.

“First”—Carmen took another bite—“the theater is haunted by Elon Somand. His jumbee has been trying to possess you ever since you got to Cariba. After holding him off all semester, you finally snapped last weekend. That’s the one I keep hearing from the locals.”

“Oh, I get it.” Esti kept her face neutral. Despite Alan’s final words to her, she knew he hadn’t massacred hundreds of slaves in a past life. “To pay for his sins, Somand is trapped in an eternity of watching high school dramas.”

Carmen almost choked on her cookie. “Hee hee, that’s good. Okay, here’s the next one. A jumbee attacked you after our second performance and did something unspeakable that should have killed you, or at least put you in the hospital.”

He said he loved me. Esti forced a smile. “Try again.”

“This next one is mostly from Greg. There isn’t any jumbee, and Rafe was the one who did something unspeakable to you.”

“Rafe is great.”

“Fine, fine.” Carmen waved her hand in the air. “I still can’t imagine you with Rafe Solomon. Anyway, here’s Danielle’s version of what Greg says. You’re trying so hard to butter up Rodney that you slept with Rafe, then it tore you apart because you’d really rather steal Greg away from her.”

Esti snorted. “That sounds very Danielle. Any more?”

“Those are the main ones.” Carmen’s eyebrows drew together. “But I want to hear more about Rafe. You didn’t sleep with him, did you?”

“Of course not.”

“Not that I’m barging into your private life, even though I am. Are you dating him?”

“Not really.” Esti broke a cookie in half, watching the crumbs scatter across the glass-topped table. She swept them back into a neat pile, wishing she could clean up the mess of her own life so easily. “We’ve gone swimming a few times. Honestly, Carmen, I’ve known him for years. He’s my friend.”

“Okay, I’ll lay off.” Carmen slowly shook her head. “But you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Besides gossip, what else has been going on at school?” Esti changed the subject. “Tell me you’re going to pass your math final.”

“If only I can convince them that two plus two really equals five.”

Esti laughed. “Do you know how Lucia’s doing? Her Lady Capulet was so good.”

“Oh!” Carmen almost leaped out of her chair. “I almost forgot to tell you. A modeling agent wants her photos! I’ve been telling her she’s tall and skinny in that cool ethnic way all the magazines love.”

“Awesome.” Esti grinned. “And what about Carmen’s perfect Nurse? Gorgeous Puerto Rican chicas are totally in fashion these days too.”

“Keep it coming.” Carmen snorted. “I’m working on it, Jane Doe. A couple of agents are hanging around until the big Solomon Christmas party, and you can bet I’ll be networking right alongside Danielle and Greg. That is,”—she smiled wryly—“if we can pry them away from you.”

“Yeah?” Although her mom’s answering drawl sounded unconcerned, Esti saw Aurora’s fingers twitch restlessly beside her. Aurora lay on a big beach towel, soaking up the sun. She acted like she had no worries, yet she studied Esti constantly when she thought Esti wasn’t looking.

“I’ve been missing Dad a lot,” she said cautiously, her eyes following the distant movement of Rafe swimming across the bay. In the past, Aurora had always changed the subject, and Esti wasn’t sure what her mom would say. “You know how I stopped going to his events the last couple of years before he died. I pulled away from him.”

“Oh, sweetie. Do you still worry about that?” The sadness in Aurora’s voice masked something else. Surprise, maybe, that Esti would be talking about this now. Perhaps, Esti thought, the fear that they were both losing their minds. Every night after Aurora thought she was asleep, Esti knew her mom’s little laptop was methodically tracking down any website that mentioned jumbees.

And every night, after her mom finally collapsed in exhaustion, Esti had crept back down to the theater for a couple of hours, overcome with guilt. And loneliness. And fear, and anger and grief, and a million other tangled emotions she couldn’t figure out. She missed her dad so much, but insanely, the loss of Alan felt even more devastating right now. She often felt almost frantic with the need for Alan’s voice.

“It made your father sad, of course,” Aurora continued quietly, “but he always understood you better than I did.”

Esti nodded, not too surprised by her mom’s response.

“He told me it was something you would eventually get through,” Aurora said, “so it’s just too bad that . . .”

Esti picked up a handful of sand, watching it trickle out through her fingers. She couldn’t hold on to anything, not even sand. She would never forgive herself for screwing up her two most sacred friendships. Her dad had been her best friend until she pushed him away. And Alan . . .

If only she had known more about him. She had thought they were kindred spirits, sharing a lot more than passion for Shakespeare. He seemed to understand her complicated grief. He said he loved her!

Get it together, she thought. At least act like you have some control.

“Hey Rafe,” Aurora said, relief evident in her voice as he splashed towards them. “Some big waves out there.”

“Got a good swell going on. My favorite kind of sea.”

Esti struggled up, brushing sand from her arms. Despite all her efforts to keep things cool, a traitorous rush of happiness swept through her body as Rafe sat down beside her and smiled. He took her breath away, muscular and glowing from his swim. As he began explaining to Aurora how distant storms could cause an impressive swell from hundreds of miles away, Esti clenched her fists until her palms stung.

She probably had it all wrong, and Ma Harris was right. Alan was a jumbee, running away with Esti’s soul as soon as she let her defenses down. Her feelings for him were no more real than the voice she’d imagined all semester.

On the other hand, Rafe would probably turn out to be as fleeting as the other males in her life. According to Carmen, it was about time for him take advantage of her, or make out with another girl, or attack a cop. Or something. They’d been together—dating? swimming lessons? old friends hanging out?—for less than a week, and Esti already felt much too comfortable around him. Every night she drifted to sleep with his seashell on the nightstand beside her pillow, her anticipation growing with each passing day.

He hadn’t tried to kiss her, although she knew by the look in his eyes that he wanted to. It was driving her crazy, and she was certain he knew that. In between swimming lessons, he endured hours of her silence, seeming to enjoy the quiet company as they sat together and watched graceful pelicans or shiny rich tourists. He didn’t talk much about his past or his reputation on Cariba, but Esti didn’t really mind. Maybe it was because Alan had told her so little about himself, but Rafe seemed amazingly transparent. She knew who he was, who his parents were, where he lived. Once upon a time, she had gone to school with him. So he had some problems; big deal. Who didn’t?

As a wave crashed into the sand a few feet away, Esti felt the beach shift beneath her feet. Even if Alan was gone, she didn’t want to fall for Rafe so quickly. She could feel the catapult lurking beyond her view, waiting for the perfect moment to shatter her sanity again.

“You okay?” Lucia finally asked. “Ma, she ask about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“I have worry, but I am relieve, also.” Lucia glanced around, then stepped closer to Esti. “Ma, she say every girl need a warm boyfriend. Otherwise you end up cold and frighten.”

“Has your mom talked to him?” Esti whispered before she could help herself, then shook her head. “Never mind; I probably shouldn’t know. Rafe is better for me, right?”

“Ma, she say Rafe jus’ need a powerful girl get he on the straight and narrow,” Lucia said in amusement. “You keep Rafe in line, easy.”

Esti snorted, then gave Lucia a sincere smile. “Carmen told me you might get an agent for modeling. That’s really great.”

“Yeah, mon.” Lucia’s eyes sparkled. “I have hear some melee about Esti Legard, also. I gotta take my last exam now, but I see you at the Christmas party, eh? We maybe all go to Carnival together.”

When Esti walked into town an hour later to meet Rafe, she felt unexpectedly relaxed. Carmen and Chaz walked with her, discussing how Carnival traveled from island to island every year. The celebration always reached Cariba after Christmas, but workers were already assembling seahorses and mermaids for a huge carousel at the edge of town.

“The parade is the last weekend of Christmas break,” Chaz said, casually grabbing Carmen’s hand.

“It’s the best time of year,” Carmen added, swinging Chaz’s hand into the air. “You don’t want to miss it.”

Esti stared at their hands. “I apparently missed something else last week.”

Carmen giggled. “Two little monkeys, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S—”

Chaz yanked Carmen into a bear hug before she could finish. “Esti, you been to The Boardwalk yet?” He laughed as Carmen struggled to get free. “Carmen promised to buy me dinner there when she gets rich and famous. Rafe’s uncle has the most hoppin’ place on the island, especially this time of year.”

“Not yet.” Esti grinned at Carmen’s expression. “Rafe says he gets busy. We’re going swimming as soon as his shift is over.”

Half a dozen Jet Skis raced across the bay, the whine of their engines filling the air like a swarm of giant mosquitoes. As Esti’s eyes followed a parasail, hanging in the deep blue sky behind a speedboat, she abruptly swallowed. Two women beside the carousel had turned to stare at her, simultaneously lifting their hands. Esti had seen the motion enough by now to realize that it wasn’t a friendly wave.

“The richest tourists spend their vacation getting drunk at The Boardwalk,” Chaz added, his eyes still on Carmen. “Rafe’s gotta be making serious money.”

Forcing herself to ignore the women, Esti quickly followed Chaz and Carmen away from the carousel.

The Boardwalk, true to its name, stretched down a long wooden walkway overlooking Manchicay Bay. Three West Indian men played steel pan drums at the end of the dock, their colorful robes and long dreadlocks swaying in time to the bright calypso music. Crowded tables filled the long boardwalk, and the open-air bar was just as busy, people in chino shorts and designer swimsuits standing three rows deep. Esti heard Rafe’s voice before she saw him, laughing and teasing his customers.

Rafe stood behind the bar, deftly mixing drinks as he flirted with three deeply tanned women. When the redhead set a stack of bills on the counter and told Rafe to keep the change, a flicker of jealousy swept through Esti. She studied the women for a moment, then shook her head. They all had to be older than Aurora.

“Serious money,” Chaz repeated in awe.

As Rafe flashed his perfect white smile at the redheaded woman, he suddenly caught sight of Esti. “My favorite girl!” he hooted.

To Esti’s embarrassment, everyone within hearing distance immediately turned to stare at her as Rafe vaulted over the bar and wove his way through the crowd. Carmen stepped back, rolling her eyes at Chaz.

With a flourish, Rafe scooped Esti into his arms. “I am so ready to see you,” he muttered into her ear. “Ten minutes to get rid of the old ladies, and then I can escape.”

“The redhead just put that big tip back in her purse,” Esti whispered back.

“Get a room,” Chaz said loudly.

“There’s a reason my mama told me to stay away from guys like you,” Carmen added. As laughter flooded the bar, the three women picked up their bags and walked away.

Walking to Manchicay Beach a few minutes later, Esti mused over the easy silence that she and Rafe had already developed. Carmen chattered incessantly with Chaz on one side of her, while Rafe merely held Esti’s fingers loosely twined through his. The flirting bartender she’d seen was a completely different person from the peaceful guy holding her hand, yet both sides of him seemed equally real. She wondered what he would say, if she told him his transparency felt like a breath of fresh air.

Dumb as a doornail, she thought wryly.

He glanced down at her with the familiar grin that made her heart beat faster, then came to an abrupt stop. A West Indian man stared at Esti from the ferry dock, his superstitious gesture cut short as Rafe glared at him. Raising his eyebrows, the man dropped his hands back to his sides.

“Rafe,” he said awkwardly. “’Sup?”

“Limin’ wit’ de smartest girl on Cariba,” Rafe retorted. “She name Esti Legard. You need some education?”

The man laughed, giving Esti an almost-sincere smile. “You ain’t change a bit, Rafe.”

Although Rafe’s fingers tightened on Esti’s, his voice relaxed into an easy banter. “Yeah, mon. You spread de word, eh?”

Astonished, Esti watched the man walk away.

As Rafe continued toward the beach like nothing had happened, Carmen exchanged a gleefully incredulous look with Chaz. With a growing sense of peace, Esti matched Rafe’s casual stride. Despite his reputation, she felt safe with him. She hadn’t yet learned to swim fast enough to leave thoughts of Alan behind, but it suddenly occurred to her that maybe by the end of Christmas vacation, she would.