“Alan?” Maybe it was because of her overwhelming physical response to Rafe, but the empty darkness seemed creepy tonight.

“Alan.” She tapped her fingers on her chair, ready to wait all night if she had to. “I need to talk to you.”

“I knew you wouldn’t abandon me in our moment of triumph.”

She grew rigid at the heavy formality in his voice. She felt as tightly wound as a spring, her body thrumming with anticipation and dread at his words. He was the one who had abandoned her tonight.

“What a consummate performance,” Alan added, his admiration apparent. “One of the best I’ve ever seen. Yet, I must have done something wrong.” His voice grew soft. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry. I wanted so badly to talk to you after each performance. Your father always said you would outshine him someday.”

The oddly phrased compliment made her hair stand on end, and she nervously rubbed her arms. “My dad never said that.”

Alan was silent for a moment. “Your success is what we’ve been working toward since I met you.”

“Is it?” she asked softly. “I don’t know what we’ve been working toward. All I know is that this—whatever it is—isn’t enough anymore.”

“Ahh.”

“Alan, I need—”

“That explains Rafe Solomon.”

She froze.

“He’s very handsome. I understand he has an easy way with girls, but I’m surprised to see you fall for that sort of thing.”

She felt her cheeks grow warm.

“Does he know about me?”

“I didn’t tell him anything.”

“I see.” Alan’s voice tightened.

“We used to be friends. He’s nice, that’s all.”

“Apparently you find him nice indeed.”

She swallowed convulsively. “He’s real,” she finally said. “He doesn’t hide from me.”

Alan was quiet for a long time. “I’m a fool.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You kissed him?”

Esti’s heart stopped for an instant. “Yes,” she forced out, “but—”

She heard a soft, strangled sound from the darkness.

“Alan, it’s you who turns me into Juliet.” The words burst from her before she could stop them. “You speak in sonnets and fill me with crazy passion, then you say I’m not allowed to see you or touch you. Alan, I can’t—”

“That’s right.” Alan caught his breath, painful and ragged. “You finally understand.”

“No, I don’t!” She leaped to her feet in agitation. “I can’t pretend anymore. And don’t act like you don’t care. You’re all I ever think about, and you must think about me, too. I need to see you.”

“No.” The coldness in his voice raked ice through her veins.

“You’re not a jumbee,” she cried. “I don’t believe that.”

“It makes no difference what you believe.”

“But Alan—”

“The mistake was mine, not yours.” His voice slowly became more controlled. “I knew it the first moment I saw you here. I never should have spoken to you.”

“No!” Esti clamped down on her desperation, her chest threatening to explode. “I need you. Before I met you, I wasn’t an actress. You pulled me out of my dad’s shadow, and you gave me my life back.”

“Ah, The Great Legard.” Alan’s voice had come very close. “I no longer know whether to worship him or damn him.”

“What are you talking about?” Unable to stop herself, Esti reached into the darkness with outstretched fingers. “Alan, please!” Her skin quivered with the certainty of his closeness, but she felt nothing. Where was he?

“I am in love with you, Esti.” She heard pain and bitterness in his soft laughter.

She fell back into her chair, stunned. “What?”

“I would like to blame it on your father.”

“You love me?” she whispered.

“Desperately, hopelessly. And if you truly knew me, you would despise me.” The pain was gone now from his beautiful voice. All his emotion was gone, replaced by a dead woodenness she’d never heard before. “You don’t need me, and I will end this before we destroy each other. I won’t be coming back; let Rafe Solomon give you what you need.”

“No!” She lunged to her feet, already knowing the attempt was futile. Alan was gone.

No, this must be a new drama.

“Where was she?”

Startled, Esti looked into the dark eyes of a policeman.

Ma Harris shook her head with a cryptic look. “She had just appear, Mister Wilmuth. You leave she alone. She shook up bad, an’ she don’t need no jandam.”

“Esti!” Aurora’s voice flew across the theater from the main door, high-pitched and scared. “My God, where have you been?”

“Miss Legard—” the policeman began.

“You gon leave she alone, Mister Wilmuth,” Ma Harris interrupted. “She shook up right now.”

Esti forced herself to look at Officer Wilmuth. He backed off from Lucia’s mom, retreating to the front row of the theater, but his eyes didn’t leave Esti as he sat down beside another policeman. The balding white cop beside him barked words into a small radio, letting the world know that Esti Legard had reappeared.

“I’ve been worried sick!” Aurora ran up onstage, flinging her arms around Esti. “You disappeared last night after Rafe brought you home, and people have been talking about this jumbee—”

“I’m sorry.” Esti groaned, covering her face with her hands as her midnight memories came flooding back. She’d been so exhausted, she must have fallen asleep in the basement room.

Aurora gave her a frightened look.

“You sure know how to make your entrances and exits.” Carmen studied Esti in awe as she came up onstage. “I should start taking notes. Lucia said her mom would be able to find you. Were you really kidnapped by the jumbee?”

“Of course not.” Breathing hard, Esti swung around to stare at Lucia’s mother. The dark face gave nothing away.

“Rafe and his dad are out with the cops, looking for you,” Chaz said behind Carmen. “Only the Solomons can get the jandam moving so fast. It usually takes Rafe at least a week to get ’em stirred up, though.”

“You’re a lot better at publicity than Danielle,” Carmen added with a weak smile. “Why not play up the jumbee thing while you got so many talent scouts watching you?”

“This isn’t a publicity stunt,” Aurora said, rounding furiously on them. “Esti doesn’t need manufactured drama when she isn’t onstage.”

“All the world’s a stage,” Esti blurted out. Aurora had no idea how much drama filled her daughter’s life these days.

As everyone looked at Esti again, she began giggling. She couldn’t help herself; she felt too bizarre and terrible. She laughed harder as Carmen and Chaz backed away, their faces uncertain. Yeah, she’d finally gone off the deep end. An invisible catapult had taken over her life, gleefully flinging her into chaos. She collapsed against Aurora, guffaws shaking her body. Laughter consumed her, possessing her body like a jumbee might—except that jumbees didn’t exist. Maybe Alan never existed at all.

She slid to the floor, still giggling.

Aurora crouched down beside her, her eyes wide with fear. The sight sent Esti into another round of hysterics. Great, now she was scaring her mom. Hysteria is caused by severe conflict and emotional excess—the absurd thought popped into her head. Oh yeah, she had plenty of both.

In the front row, Officer Wilmuth exchanged a glance with his partner. As the white cop got up and walked out of the theater, Esti felt her laughter start all over again. Ha—even the jandam were running away!

“Bazadee,” she heard someone whisper. Crazy. They all thought she was crazy. Tears squeezed out of her eyes, and she helplessly pressed her hands against her ribs. When Rafe showed up a few minutes later—or was it hours?—her head pounded and her stomach muscles ached so badly she could barely move. Through a fog, she watched Rafe charge up to the stage, his dark eyes wide with concern. His hand reached out, touching hers.

As their fingers twined together, the memory of Alan’s last words slammed through her. What if Alan was watching right now, waiting to see how long it took her to replace him? She yanked her hand back, lurching away from Rafe as if she’d been burned.

“Esti?” He stared at her, stunned.

She spun away, unable to meet his eyes. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, her thoughts screamed as she rose to her feet and blindly stumbled offstage.

Huddled in the wings, Esti watched Danielle walk onto the stage. Relief throbbed down to her toes that Danielle had insisted on taking over Juliet for the closing performance.

“Your mother,” Carmen said, indicating Lucia with a flourish.

When Lucia had asked if Esti wanted the role of Juliet’s mother back, Esti immediately shook her head. She couldn’t play Lady Capulet tonight. Besides, Lucia deserved her full moment in the spotlight.

“Madam, I am here.” Danielle gave them a nod, her pretty face drawn and determined beneath the stage makeup.

Esti studied her in dull admiration. Danielle obviously didn’t feel well, although she insisted her symptoms were under control. When the others tried to tease her, she had responded with a blistering look that made even Carmen back off.

Danielle was brave, Esti thought. I, on the other hand, am a coward and a freak.

Earlier this afternoon, when she could finally speak, Esti had apologized to everyone in sight, mortified by the amount of trouble she’d caused. All she really wanted to do was throw herself into Rafe’s arms, adding more sap to this awful melodrama in full view of Alan. Instead, she was stiffly polite, repeating “I’m fine, thank you,” until Rafe finally left.

As the audience began laughing at Nurse’s monologue onstage, Esti closed her eyes. She had no idea who Alan was, or why he’d spent so much time with her since she moved to Cariba. She only knew that he had brought her back to life. And now that he was gone, she no longer wanted any of it.

Quietly gathering her things, she crept to the deserted back end of the stage and slipped behind the curtain. She didn’t bother calling for Alan as she navigated the pitch-black passages to the hidden back door; if he wanted to talk, he would already know she was there. But her exit was solitary, joined only by the coqui frogs as she trudged back up Bayrum Hill.