WHERE I LIVED, AND WHAT I LIVED
FOR.
At a certain season of our life we are accustomed to consider every
spot as the possible site of a house. I have thus surveyed the
country on every side within a dozen miles of where I live. In
imagination I have bought all the farms in succession, for all were
to be bought, and I knew their price. I walked over each farmer's
premises, tasted his wild apples, discoursed on husbandry with him,
took his farm at his price, at any price, mortgaging it to him in
my mind; even put a higher price on it—took everything but a deed
of ittook his word for his deed, for I dearly love to
talkcultivated it, and him too to some extent, I trust, and
withdrew when I had enjoyed it long enough, leaving him to carry it
on. This experience entitled me to be regarded as a sort of
real-estate broker by my friends. Wherever I sat, there I might
live, and the landscape radiated from me accordingly. What is a
house but a sedes, a seat?—better if a country seat. I discovered
many a site for a house not likely to be soon improved, which some
might have thought too far from the village, but to my eyes the
village was too far from it. Well, there I might live, I said; and
there I did live, for an hour, a summer and a winter life; saw how
I could let the years run off, buffet the winter through, and see
the spring come in. The future inhabitants of this region, wherever
they may place their houses, may be sure that they have been
anticipated. An afternoon sufficed to lay out the land into
orchard, wood-lot, and pasture, and to decide what fine oaks or
pines should be left to stand before the door, and whence each
blasted tree could be seen to the best advantage; and then I let it
lie, fallow, perchance, for a man is rich in proportion to the
number of things which he can afford to let alone. My imagination
carried me so far that I even had the refusal of several farmsnthe
refusal was all I wantedbut I never got my fingers burned by actual
possession. The nearest that I came to actual possession was when I
bought the Hollowell place, and had begun to sort my seeds, and
collected materials with which to make a wheelbarrow to carry it on
or off with; but before the owner gave me a deed of it, his wife-
every man has such a wife- changed her mind and wished to keep it,
and he offered me ten dollars to release him. Now, to speak the
truth, I had but ten cents in the world, and it surpassed my
arithmetic to tell, if I was that man who had ten cents, or who had
a farm, or ten dollars, or all together. However, I let him keep
the ten dollars and the farm too, for I had carried it far enough;
or rather, to be generous, I sold him the farm for just what I gave
for it, and, as he was not a rich man, made him a present of ten
dollars, and still had my ten cents, and seeds, and materials for a
wheelbarrow left. I found thus that I had been a rich man without
any damage to my poverty. But I retained the landscape, and I have
since annually carried off what it yielded without a wheelbarrow.
With respect to landscapes, "I am monarch of all I survey, My right
there is none to dispute." I have frequently seen a poet withdraw,
having enjoyed the most valuable part of a farm, while the crusty
farmer supposed that he had got a few wild apples only. Why, the
owner does not know it for many years when a poet has put his farm
in rhyme, the most admirable kind of invisible fence, has fairly
impounded it, milked it, skimmed it, and got all the cream, and
left the farmer only the skimmed milk. The real attractions of the
Hollowell farm, to me, were: its complete retirement, being, about
two miles from the village, half a mile from the nearest neighbor,
and separated from the highway by a broad field; its bounding on
the river, which the owner said protected it by its fogs from
frosts in the spring, though that was nothing to me; the gray color
and ruinous state of the house and barn, and the dilapidated
fences, which put such an interval between me and the last
occupant; the hollow and lichen-covered apple trees, nawed by
rabbits, showing what kind of neighbors I should have; but above
all, the recollection I had of it from my earliest voyages up the
river, when the house was concealed behind a dense grove of red
maples, through which I heard the house-dog bark. I was in haste to
buy it, before the proprietor finished getting out some rocks,
cutting down the hollow apple trees, and grubbing up some young
birches which had sprung up in the pasture, or, in short, had made
any more of his improvements. To enjoy these advantages I was ready
to carry it on; like Atlas, to take the world on my shoulders—I
never heard what compensation he received for that—and do all those
things which had no other motive or excuse but that I might pay for
it and be unmolested in my possession of it; for I knew all the
while that it would yield the most abundant crop of the kind I
wanted, if I could only afford to let it alone. But it turned out
as I have said. All that I could say, then, with respect to farming
on a large scale—I have always cultivated a garden—was, that I had
had my seeds ready. Many think that seeds improve with age. I have
no doubt that time discriminates between the good and the bad; and
when at last I shall plant, I shall be less likely to be
disappointed. But I would say to my fellows, once for all, As long
as possible live free and uncommitted. It makes but little
difference whether you are committed to a farm or the county jail.
Old Cato, whose "De Re Rustica" is my "Cultivator," says- and the
only translation I have seen makes sheer nonsense of the
passagen"When you think of getting a farm turn it thus in your
mind, not to buy greedily; nor spare your pains to look at it, and
do not think it enough to go round it once. The oftener you go
there the more it will please you, if it is good." I think I shall
not buy greedily, but go round and round it as long as I live, and
be buried in it first, that it may please me the more at last.
* * *
The present was my next experiment of this kind, which I purpose to
describe more at length, for convenience putting the experience of
two years into one. As I have said, I do not propose to write an
ode to dejection, but to brag as lustily as chanticleer in the
morning, standing on his roost, if only to wake my neighbors up.
When first I took up my abode in the woods, that is, began to spend
my nights as well as days there, which, by accident, was on
Independence Day, or the Fourth of July, 1845, my house was not
finished for winter, but was merely a defence against the rain,
without plastering or chimney, the walls being of rough,
weather-stained boards, with wide chinks, which made it cool at
night. The upright white hewn studs and freshly planed door and
window casings gave it a clean and airy look, especially in the
morning, when its timbers were saturated with dew, so that I
fancied that by noon some sweet gum would exude from them. To my
imagination it retained throughout the day more or less of this
auroral character, reminding me of a certain house on a mountain
which I had visited a year before. This was an airy and unplastered
cabin, fit to entertain a travelling god, and where a goddess might
trail her garments. The winds which passed over my dwelling were
such as sweep over the ridges of mountains, bearing the broken
strains, or celestial parts only, of terrestrial music. The morning
wind forever blows, the poem of creation is uninterrupted; but few
are the ears that hear it. Olympus is but the outside of the earth
everywhere. The only house I had been the owner of before, if I
except a boat, was a tent, which I used occasionally when making
excursions in the summer, and this is still rolled up in my garret;
but the boat, after passing from hand to hand, has gone down the
stream of time. With this more substantial shelter about me, I had
made some progress toward settling in the world. This frame, so
slightly clad, was a sort of crystallization around me, and reacted
on the builder. It was suggestive somewhat as a picture in
outlines. I did not need to go outdoors to take the air, for the
atmosphere within had lost none of its freshness. It was not so
much within doors as behind a door where I sat, even in the
rainiest weather. The Harivansa says, "An abode without birds is
like a meat without seasoning." Such was not my abode, for I found
myself suddenly neighbor to the birds; not by having imprisoned
one, but having caged myself near them. I was not only nearer to
some of those which commonly frequent the garden and the orchard,
but to those smaller and more thrilling songsters of the forest
which never, or rarely, serenade a villager—the wood thrush, the
veery, the scarlet tanager, the field sparrow, the whippoor-will,
and many others. I was seated by the shore of a small pond, about a
mile and a half south of the village of Concord and somewhat higher
than it, in the midst of an extensive wood between that town and
Lincoln, and about two miles south of that our only field known to
fame, Concord Battle Ground; but I was so low in the woods that the
opposite shore, half a mile off, like the rest, covered with wood,
was my most distant horizon. For the first week, whenever I looked
out on the pond it impressed me like a tarn high up on the side of
a mountain, its bottom far above the surface of other lakes, and,
as the sun arose, I saw it throwing off its nightly clothing of
mist, and here and there, by degrees, its soft ripples or its
smooth reflecting surface was revealed, while the mists, like
ghosts, were stealthily withdrawing in every direction into the
woods, as at the breaking up of some nocturnal conventicle. The
very dew seemed to hang upon the trees later into the day than
usual, as on the sides of mountains. This small lake was of most
value as a neighbor in the intervals of a gentle rain-storm in
August, when, both air and water being perfectly still, but the sky
overcast, mid-afternoon had all the serenity of evening, and the
wood thrush sang around, and was heard from shore to shore. A lake
like this is never smoother than at such a time; and the clear
portion of the air above it being, shallow and darkened by clouds,
the water, full of light and reflections, becomes a lower heaven
itself so much the more important. From a hill-top near by, where
the wood had been recently cut off, there was a pleasing vista
southward across the pond, through a wide indentation in the hills
which form the shore there, where their opposite sides sloping
toward each other suggested a stream flowing out in that direction
through a wooded val ley, but stream there was none. That way I
looked between and over the near green hills to some distant and
higher ones in the horizon, tinged with blue. Indeed, by standing
on tiptoe I could catch a glimpse of some of the peaks of the still
bluer and more distant mountain ranges in the northwest, those
true-blue coins from heaven's own mint, and also of some portion of
the village. But in other directions, even from this point, I could
not see over or beyond the woods which surrounded me. It is well to
have some water in your neighborhood, to give buoyancy to and float
the earth. One value even of the smallest well is, that when you
look into it you see that earth is not continent but insular. This
is as important as that it keeps butter cool. When I looked across
the pond from this peak toward the Sudbury meadows, which in time
of flood I distinguished elevated perhaps by a mirage in their
seething valley, like a coin in a basin, all the earth beyond the
pond appeared like a thin crust insulated and floated even by this
small sheet of interverting water, and I was reminded that this on
which I dwelt was but dry land. Though the view from my door was
still more contracted, I did not feel crowded or confined in the
least. There was pasture enough for my imagination. The low shrub
oak plateau to which the opposite shore arose stretched away toward
the prairies of the West and the steppes of Tartary, affording
ample room for all the roving families of men. "There are none
happy in the world but beings who enjoy freely a vast horizon"—said
Damodara, when his herds required new and larger pastures. Both
place and time were changed, and I dwelt nearer to those parts of
the universe and to those eras in history which had most attracted
me. Where I lived was as far off as many a region viewed nightly by
astronomers. We are wont to imagine rare and delectable places in
some remote and more celestial corner of the system, behind the
constellation of Cassiopeia's Chair, far from noise and
disturbance. I discovered that my house actually had its site in
such a withdrawn, but forever new and unprofaned, part of the
universe. If it were worth the while to settle in those parts near
to the Pleiades or the Hyades, to Aldebaran or Altair, then I was
really there, or at an equal remoteness from the life which I had
left behind, dwindled and twinkling with as fine a ray to my
nearest neighbor, and to be seen only in moonless nights by him.
Such was that part of creation where I had squatted: "There was a
shepherd that did live, And held his thoughts as high As were the
mounts whereon his flocks Did hourly feed him by." What should we
think of the shepherd's life if his flocks always wandered to
higher pastures than his thoughts? Every morning was a cheerful
invitation to make my life of equal simplicity, and I may say
innocence, with Nature herself. I have been as sincere a worshipper
of Aurora as the Greeks. I got up early and bathed in the pond;
that was a religious exercise, and one of the best things which I
did. They say that characters were engraven on the bathing tub of
King Tching-thang to this effect: "Renew thyself completely each
day; do it again, and again, and forever again." I can understand
that. Morning brings back the heroic ages. I was as much affected
by the faint burn of a mosquito making its invisible and
unimaginable tour through my apartment at earliest dawn, when I was
sitting with door and win dows open, as I could be by any trumpet
that ever sang of fame. It was Homer's requiem; itself an Iliad and
Odyssey in the air, singing its own wrath and wanderings. There was
something cosmical about it; a standing advertisement, till
forbidden, of the everlasting vigor and fertility of the world. The
morning, which is the most memorable season of the day, is the
awakening hour. Then there is least somnolence in us; and for an
hour, at least, some part of us awakes which slumbers all the rest
of the day and night. Little is to be expected of that day, if it
can be called a day, to which we are not awakened by our Genius,
but by the mechanical nudgings of some servitor, are not awakened
by our own newly acquired force and aspirations from within,
accompanied by the undulations of celestial music, instead of
factory bells, and a fragrance filling the air—to a higher life
than we fell asleep from; and thus the darkness bear its fruit, and
prove itself to be good, no less than the light. That man who does
not believe that each day contains an earlier, more sacred, and
auroral hour than he has yet profaned, has despaired of life, and
is pursuing a descending and darkening way. After a partial
cessation of his sensuous life, the soul of man, or its organs
rather, are reinvigorated each day, and his Genius tries again what
noble life it can make. All memorable events, I should say,
transpire in morning time and in a morning atmosphere. The Vedas
say, "All intelligences awake with the morning." Poetry and art,
and the fairest and most memorable of the actions of men, date from
such an hour. All poets and heroes, like Memnon, are the children
of Aurora, and emit their music at sunrise. To him whose elastic
and vigorous thought keeps pace with the sun, the day is a
perpetual morning. It matters not what the clocks say or the
attitudes and labors of men. Morning is when I am awake and there
is a dawn in me. Moral reform is the effort to throw off sleep. Why
is it that men give so poor an account of their day if they have
not been slumbering? They are not such poor calculators. If they
had not been overcome with drowsiness, they would have performed
something. The millions are awake enough for physical labor; but
only one in a million is awake enough for effective intellectual
exertion, only one in a hundred millions to a poetic or divine
life. To be awake is to be alive. I have never yet met a man who
was quite awake. How could I have looked him in the face? We must
learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids,
but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake
us in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than
the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a
conscious endeavor. It is something to be able to paint a
particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few
objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint
the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally
we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of
arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details,
worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour.
If we refused, or rather used up, such paltry information as we
get, the oracles would distinctly inform us how this might be done.
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front
only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what
it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had
not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so
dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite
necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of
life, to live so sturdily and Spartan—like as to put to rout all
that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive
life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it
proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness
of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were
sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true
account of it in my next excursion. For most men, it appears to me,
are in a strange uncertainty about it, whether it is of the devil
or of God, and have somewhat hastily concluded that it is the chief
end of man here to "glorify God and enjoy him forever." Still we
live meanly, like ants; though the fable tells us that we were long
ago changed into men; like pygmies we fight with cranes; it is
error upon error, and clout upon clout, and our best virtue has for
its occasion a superfluous and evitable wretchedness. Our life is
frittered away by detail. An honest man has hardly need to count
more than his ten fingers, or in extreme cases he may add his ten
toes, and lump the rest. Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say,
let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a
thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your
accounts on your thumb-nail. In the midst of this chopping sea of
civilized life, such are the clouds and storms and quicksands and
thousand-and-one items to be allowed for, that a man has to live,
if he would not founder and go to the bottom and not make his port
at all, by dead reckoning, and he must be a great calculator indeed
who succeeds. Simplify, simplify. Instead of three meals a day, if
it be necessary eat but one; instead of a hundred dishes, five; and
reduce other things in proportion. Our life is like a German
Confederacy, made up of petty states, with its boundary forever
fluctuating, so that even a German cannot tell you how it is
bounded at any moment. The nation itself, with all its so-called
internal improvements, which, by the way are all external and
superficial, is just such an unwieldy and overgrown establishment,
cluttered with furniture and tripped up by its own traps, ruined by
luxury and heedless expense, by want of calculation and a worthy
aim, as the million households in the land; and the only cure for
it, as for them, is in a rigid economy, a stern and more than
Spartan simplicity of life and elevation of purpose. It lives too
fast. Men think that it is essential that the Nation have commerce,
and export ice, and talk through a telegraph, and ride thirty miles
an hour, without a doubt, whether they do or not; but whether we
should live like baboons or like men, is a little uncertain. If we
do not get out sleepers, and forge rails, and devote days and
nights to the work, but go to tinkering upon our lives to improve
them, who will build railroads? And if railroads are not built, how
shall we get to heaven in season? But if we stay at home and mind
our business, who will want railroads? We do not ride on the
railroad; it rides upon us. Did you ever think what those sleepers
are that underlie the railroad? Each one is a man, an Irishman, or
a Yankee man. The rails are laid on them, and they are covered with
sand, and the cars run smoothly over them. They are sound sleepers,
I assure you. And every few years a new lot is laid down and run
over; so that, if some have the pleasure of riding on a rail,
others have the misfortune to be ridden upon. And when they run
over a man that is walking in his sleep, a supernumerary sleeper in
the wrong position, and wake him up, they suddenly stop the cars,
and make a hue and cry about it, as if this were an exception. I am
glad to know that it takes a gang of men for every five miles to
keep the sleepers down and level in their beds as it is, for this
is a sign that they may sometime get up again. Why should we live
with such hurry and waste of life? We are determined to be starved
before we are hungry. Men say that a stitch in time saves nine, and
so they take a thousand stitches today to save nine tomorrow. As
for work, we haven't any of any consequence. We have the Saint
Vitus' dance, and cannot possibly keep our heads still. If I should
only give a few pulls at the parish bell-rope, as for a fire, that
is, without setting the bell, there is hardly a man on his farm in
the outskirts of Concord, notwithstanding that press of engagements
which was his excuse so many times this morning, nor a boy, nor a
woman, I might almost say, but would forsake all and follow that
sound, not mainly to save property from the flames, but, if we will
confess the truth, much more to see it burn, since burn it must,
and we, be it known, did not set it on fire—or to see it put out,
and have a hand in it, if that is done as handsomely; yes, even if
it were the parish church itself. Hardly a man takes a half-hour's
nap after dinner, but when he wakes he holds up his head and asks,
"What's the news?" as if the rest of mankind had stood his
sentinels. Some give directions to be waked every half-hour,
doubtless for no other purpose; and then, to pay for it, they tell
what they have dreamed. After a night's sleep the news is as
indispensable as the breakfast. "Pray tell me anything new that has
happened to a man anywhere on this globe"—and he reads it over his
coffee and rolls, that a man has had his eyes gouged out this
morning on the Wachito River; never dreaming the while that he
lives in the dark unfathomed mammoth cave of this world, and has
but the rudiment of an eye himself. For my part, I could easily do
without the post-office. I think that there are very few important
communications made through it. To speak critically, I never
received more than one or two letters in my life—I wrote this some
years ago- that were worth the postage. The penny-post is,
commonly, an institution through which you seriously offer a man
that penny for his thoughts which is so often safely offered in
jest. And I am sure that I never read any memorable news in a
newspaper. If we read of one man robbed, or murdered, or killed by
accident, or one house burned, or one vessel wrecked, or one
steamboat blown up, or one cow run over on the Western Railroad, or
one mad dog killed, or one lot of grasshoppers in the winter—we
never need read of another. One is enough. If you are acquainted
with the principle, what do you care for a myriad instances and
applications? To a philosopher all news, as it is called, is
gossip, and they who edit and read it are old women over their tea.
Yet not a few are greedy after this gossip. There was such a rush,
as I hear, the other day at one of the offices to learn the foreign
news by the last arrival, that several large squares of plate glass
belonging to the establishment were broken by the pressure—news
which I seriously think a ready wit might write a twelve-month, or
twelve years, beforehand with sufficient accuracy. As for Spain,
for instance, if you know how to throw in Don Carlos and the
Infanta, and Don Pedro and Seville and Granada, from time to time
in the right proportions—they may have changed the names a little
since I saw the papers—and serve up a bull-fight when other
entertainments fail, it will be true to the letter, and give us as
good an idea of the exact state or ruin of things in Spain as the
most succinct and lucid reports under this head in the newspa pers:
and as for England, almost the last significant scrap of news from
that quarter was the revolution of 1649; and if you have learned
the history of her crops for an average year, you never need attend
to that thing again, unless your speculations are of a merely
pecuniary character. If one may judge who rarely looks into the
newspapers, nothing new does ever happen in foreign parts, a French
revolution not excepted. What news! how much more important to know
what that is which was never old! "Kieou-he-yu (great dignitary of
the state of Wei) sent a man to Khoung-tseu to know his news.
Khoung-tseu caused the messenger to be seated near him, and
questioned him in these terms: What is your master doing? The
messenger answered with respect: My master desires to diminish the
number of his faults, but he cannot come to the end of them. The
messenger being gone, the philosopher remarked: What a worthy
messenger! What a worthy messenger!" The preacher, instead of
vexing the ears of drowsy farmers on their day of rest at the end
of the weeknfor Sunday is the fit conclusion of an illspent week,
and not the fresh and brave beginning of a new one-with this one
other draggle-tail of a sermon, should shout with thundering voice,
"Pause! Avast! Why so seeming fast, but deadly slow?" Shams and
delusions are esteemed for soundest truths, while reality is
fabulous. If men would steadily observe realities only, and not
allow themselves to be deluded, life, to compare it with such
things as we know, would be like a fairy tale and the Arabian
Nights' Entertainments. If we respected only what is inevitable and
has a right to be, music and poetry would resound along the
streets. When we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only
great and worthy things have any permanent and absolute existence,
that petty fears and petty pleasures are but the shadow of the
reality. This is always exhilarating and sublime. By closing the
eyes and slumbering, and consenting to be deceived by shows, men
establish and confirm their daily life of routine and habit
everywhere, which still is built on purely illusory foundations.
Children, who play life, discern its true law and relations more
clearly than men, who fail to live it worthily, but who think that
they are wiser by experience, that is, by failure. I have read in a
Hindoo book, that "there was a king's son, who, being expelled in
infancy from his native city, was brought up by a forester, and,
growing up to maturity in that state, imagined himself to belong to
the barbarous race with which he lived. One of his father's
ministers having discovered him, revealed to him what he was, and
the misconception of his character was removed, and he knew himself
to be a prince. So soul," continues the Hindoo philosopher, "from
the circumstances in which it is placed, mistakes its own
character, until the truth is revealed to it by some holy teacher,
and then it knows itself to be Brahme." I perceive that we
inhabitants of New England live this mean life that we do because
our vision does not penetrate the surface of things. We think that
that is which appears to be. If a man should walk through this town
and see only the reality, where, think you, would the "Mill-dam" go
to? If he should give us an account of the realities he beheld
there, we should not recognize the place in his description. Look
at a meeting-house, or a court-house, or a jail, or a shop, or a
dwelling-house, and say what that thing really is before a true
gaze, and they would all go to pieces in your account of them. Men
esteem truth remote, in the outskirts of the system, behind the
farthest star, before Adam and after the last man. In eternity
there is indeed something true and sublime. But all these times and
places and occasions are now and here. God himself culminates in
the present moment, and will never be more divine in the lapse of
all the ages. And we are enabled to apprehend at all what is
sublime and noble only by the perpetual instilling and drenching of
the reality that surrounds us. The universe constantly and
obediently answers to our conceptions; whether we travel fast or
slow, the track is laid for us. Let us spend our lives in
conceiving then. The poet or the artist never yet had so fair and
noble a design but some of his posterity at least could accomplish
it. Let us spend one day as deliberately as Nature, and not be
thrown off the track by every nutshell and mosquito's wing that
falls on the rails. Let us rise early and fast, or break fast,
gently and without perturbation; let company come and let company
go, let the bells ring and the children cry—determined to make a
day of it. Why should we knock under and go with the stream? Let us
not be upset and overwhelmed in that terrible rapid and whirlpool
called a dinner, situated in the meridian shallows. Weather this
danger and you are safe, for the rest of the way is down hill. With
unrelaxed nerves, with morning vigor, sail by it, looking another
way, tied to the mast like Ulysses. If the engine whistles, let it
whistle till it is hoarse for its pains. If the bell rings, why
should we run? We will consider what kind of music they are like.
Let us settle ourselves, and work and wedge our feet downward
through the mud and slush of opinion, and prejudice, and tradition,
and delusion, and appearance, that alluvion which covers the globe,
through Paris and London, through New York and Boston and Concord,
through Church and State, through poetry and philosophy and
religion, till we come to a hard bottom and rocks in place, which
we can call reality, and say, This is, and no mistake; and then
begin, having a point d'appui, below freshet and frost and fire, a
place where you might found a wall or a state, or set a lamp-post
safely, or perhaps a gauge, not a Nilometer, but a Realometer, that
future ages might know how deep a freshet of shams and appearances
had gathered from time to time. If you stand right fronting and
face to face to a fact, you will see the sun glimmer on both its
surfaces, as if it were a cimeter, and feel its sweet edge dividing
you through the heart and marrow, and so you will happily conclude
your mortal career. Be it life or death, we crave only reality. If
we are really dying, let us hear the rattle in our throats and feel
cold in the extremities; if we are alive, let us go about our
business. Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. I drink at it;
but while I drink I see the sandy bottom and detect how shallow it
is. Its thin current slides away, but eternity remains. I would
drink deeper; fish in the sky, whose bottom is pebbly with stars. I
cannot count one. I know not the first letter of the alphabet. I
have always been regretting that I was not as wise as the day I was
born. The intellect is a cleaver; it discerns and rifts its way
into the secret of things. I do not wish to be any more busy with
my hands than is necessary. My head is hands and feet. I feel all
my best faculties concentrated in it. My instinct tells me that my
head is an organ for burrowing, as some creatures use their snout
and fore paws, and with it I would mine and burrow my way through
these hills. I think that the richest vein is somewhere hereabouts;
so by the divining-rod and thin rising vapors I judge; and here I
will begin to mine.