I WOULD BE TEMPTED TO ASK MR BEV TO USE HIS PERSUASIVE POWERS ON MR

PYKES TO DETERMINE WHAT HE KNOWS.

“Persuasive powers?” said Phoenix looking at Bev.

“I think I understand the gist of Marshia’s innuendoes,” said Bev. “If everyone agrees, Doctor Kwait and I shall pay Urquat Pykes a quick visit.”

Everyone nodded.

Bev turned to Kwait. “I’ll meet you here in half an hour,” he said. “I must first ask Vick for a few more of his modified memory MAIDs .”

“Will do,” said Kwait. “Wait,” he said, spotting Rex entering the control room, “I’ll meet you in the blue bar. I’m feeling rather peckish.”

Bev nodded and disappeared with a gentle pop.

“Hi,” Rex and Kwait chorused, grinning at each other like idiots.

“Hungry?” asked Kwait.

“Starved,” said Rex.

They linked arms and strolled slowly in the direction of the blue bar. Sometimes there was only one way to travel.

They sat in the blue bar chatting about nothing and touching each other’s hands. To any casual observer they appeared all bushy-tailed and gooey and sticky-icky.Definitely a couple to be avoided. After thirty minutes or so, Bev materialised at their table. He had to cough quite painfully to get their attention.

“Ready?” asked Bev.

“See you later,” said Kwait.

“Bye,” said Rex doing a most un-police-person-like

hands-clasped-between-knees-raised-shoulder-head-bob sort of manoeuvre. Kwait’s world changed. For the worse! He was in hell’s crutch. Kwait had never seen so many shades of red. Everywhere he looked was red. Red floors, ceilings, lights. Red-painted women scantily clad in red rags. Even the thunderous music was red.A blinding, deafening red. A shapely red bottom hardly covered in red panties moved to one side to reveal a large black and gold blob. Pykes , a large red drink in one hand and a large, red, bare-breasted companion in the other, laughed uproariously at something his amply bosomed acquaintance said in his ear. Pykesspotted Bev and Kwait through the haze of his mirth. “My friends!” he bellowed. “Pull up a woman and join me, why don’t you,” he cried.

Two young ladies, indistinguishable from the young lady Pykes held firmly to his side, suddenly clamped themselves onto Bev and Kwait.

Kwait’s new companion gently pulled his head down towards her upturned face. A warm, musky odour caressed Kwait’s nostrils. Her full lips gently brushed his ear as a warm, fluid voice filled with the promise of blissful nights of untold erotic pleasure asked, “Currency or plastic?”

Kwait swallowed hard. “Actually,” he managed to squeak, “I’m gay.”

Before Kwait’s very eyes and to his utmost horror the beautiful young girl metamorphosed into six feet six inches of shining, brown, rippling muscled human male complete with thick, black hair, gleaming white teeth and sporting the biggest, reddest codpiece Kwait had ever clapped eyes on. Kwait whimpered as Pykes struggled to his feet. The conical gold hat, a sad dented shadow of its former glorious self, clung precariously to the back of Pykes ’ head.

“Good choice!” said Pykes , giving Kwait’s new boyfriend a hearty slap on the bottom. Kwait turned to Bev. “Help?” trilled Kwait hopefully.

Bev ignored Kwait and, shrugging off his own amorous companion, took hold of Pykes ’ face in both his hands, forcing Pykes to look directly at him.

“I’m sorry about this,” said Bev, shouting to be heard above the din. “I hate to invade your privacy but it must be done and will be quite painless.”

Pykeswatched with that look of inquisitive incomprehension peculiar to those whose brains are awash with alcohol, as a transparent mercurial fluid flowed from Bev’s hands into his face. Pykes smiled slightly at the strangeness of having his brain invaded by micro-machines. It was less than a second before the transparent mercurial fluid could be seen migrating back into Bev’s hands. Bev removed his hands from Pykes ’ face. He studied Kwait and his new friend for a moment.

“Would you care to stay for a while longer?” Bev asked Kwait dryly.

“No, I would not!” said Kwait, slapping off the young man-creature’s inquisitive hands.

*

Kwait and Bev materialised in Marshia’s control room.

“Django Twip is there!” said Bev excitedly to Phoenix and Apricot. “The modified memory MAIDs worked a treat!”

“And,” said Kwait, who was privy to the new information, “ Urquat Pykesis definitely not as clean as he is hairy.”

“We can deal with him later, then,” said Phoenix. “Get some rest,” he said to the room in general. “We will jump to Django Twip’s location in nine hours.”

: Fight