15
UNFORGETTABLE
On the first day of school, Grace cradled a mug
of coffee in her hands as she sat by the front window, watching the
melancholy exodus. Crawford left first, followed by Lily, carrying
a brown clarinet case, her small frame weighed down by a backpack
large enough to take to tackle Kilimanjaro. After her, Dominic
burst out of his house, appearing slightly frantic and already hot
in a maroon jacket, black pants, and black shoes that made him look
like he was attending a school for doormen. The uniform was a
little tight, and Grace kicked herself for forgetting to say
something to Ray.
But honestly, shouldn’t Ray have been
able to tell when his son’s clothes didn’t fit?
Jordan, the straggler, came out five
minutes later. For her back-to-school outfit she had chosen a black
tank top, a lime-green miniskirt over brown-and-white striped
leggings, and platform boots worthy of a seventies stadium rock
star. Instead of a backpack, she was lugging an old carpetbag that
made it hard to tell if she was headed for school or running away
from home.
Despite the fact that none of them
looked thrilled to be embarking on a new school year, Grace felt a
ridiculous stab of nostalgia. For a crazy moment, she wanted a
do-over—a blank slate. Not that she missed school, or God forbid,
being a teenager. She just wanted the world back the way it had
been when she was sixteen.
Or maybe she just wanted the world back
the way it was when her father was well.
Around noon, she went to check the mail
and nearly walked right into Ray, who was standing on the front
porch. She drew back, startled. She hadn’t spoken to him since the
tree episode, weeks ago.
He looked worried. “You wouldn’t happen
to have seen one or two of my kids around here, would
you?”
Unbelievable!
The man didn’t know that this was the first day of school? Where
had he been?
“You won’t find Jordan here ever, and
you won’t find Dominic or Lily here today,” she said, annoyed for
the kids’ sakes. “They’re in school, Ray. It’s the first day of
school.”
He absorbed this information and then
blew out a breath. “That’s right. Of course.”
“Please tell me you knew that.”
Otherwise she would have to think those kids really were alone over
there.
“I knew that,” he confirmed. “I
forgot.”
“Pardon me for asking, but how could
you forget? This was a big day for the kids, Ray. Well—I don’t know
about Jordan, but I know it was important for Lily and Dominic.
They could use a little attention from you, Ray.”
“You think I’m not interested in my own
kids?”
She backpedaled. “It’s not what you
feel, it’s what you show. Even the basics—like seeing that Dominic
needs new uniforms.”
She’d expected him to take offense.
Instead, he nodded. “You’re right. I only noticed his uniform this
morning.”
“I probably should have said
something,” she admitted. “He mentioned it earlier . .
.”
As she spoke, Ray zoned out before her
eyes. He sat down on one of the two Adirondack chairs on the porch,
his face pinched in a strange, distracted expression. “I know that
music,” he said.
Grace listened. “Probably.” She assumed
everybody knew it. “It’s ‘Moonlight Sonata.’ ”
“Is that what it is?” he asked. “Jen
used to play it—my wife, Jennifer.”
Jennifer.
Dominic and Lily’s mother. The woman who’d died in the crash with
Nina, the other twin. Grace had never known what their mother’s
name was. Dominic and Lily never talked about her in
detail.
He shook his head. “I know you’re right
about the kids, Grace. And I did talk to them this morning, but
then . . . I don’t know, I just spaced out or something. Odd, isn’t
it? I forgot it was the first day of school because it was the first day of school.”
She didn’t say anything—because she
really didn’t have anything to say that wasn’t along the lines of
wow, you’re crazy.
“I started out this morning thinking
about the first day of school,” he explained. “I came downstairs as
Dominic was leaving, and I saw him in his uniform. Seeing him flung
me back in time. All morning I couldn’t concentrate at work.
Finally, I told my boss I was going to work from home
today.”
“You went to the same school Dominic
goes to?”
“Yeah.” He shook his head. “Stupid,
isn’t it? And then I was actually surprised to find the house
empty, because the thing that was preoccupying me had been
triggered by seeing my son in his school uniform. I started
thinking about the first day I saw her, at St.
Xavier’s.”
Grace stood still for a moment, as if
any sudden movement might scare Ray away before he could tell her
more about this woman. “You met her at school?”
“Actually, we’d met before, but I
didn’t remember.” He smiled. “I didn’t go to St. Xavier’s till I
was in seventh grade. The first day I got there I felt a little
lost. I had to wear a uniform, and everything seemed so regimented.
When I arrived at that first homeroom, the teacher sent me to the
back of the room because my name started with W. As I was walking
past her, Jen—her name was Webber—said, ‘Hey Ray!’ Which was really
startling, because I had no idea who she was.
“It happened again in Chapel. Then in
another class. I’d see Jen and she’d beam a smile at me and say,
‘Hey Ray!’ like we were best friends. Finally, at lunch, I was
sitting by myself at the end of a long table and she came and
plopped her plastic tray across from mine and said, ‘You don’t
remember me, do you?’
“ ‘Not really,’ I admitted. Although a
more truthful answer would have been not at
all.”
“How did she know you?” Grace
asked.
“Turns out, we’d been in peewee soccer
together. I mean, it had been years and years before—back when I
was five or six. I’d forgotten all about it—all about her. Probably
I blanked it out because I was the worst kid on the team. I
hated soccer.”
“But she remembered you,” Grace said
wistfully. “That’s so cool—so sweet.” So Cathy and Heathcliff . . .
if Heathcliff had been a math geek.
“That’s what I thought. I spent the
rest of the day on a sort of high because this cute girl remembered
me. Walking down the halls during the following weeks I felt like I
was a couple of inches taller. I looked forward to the classes with
her, and all those tedious lineups they made us go through, just so
I could see her smile and hear her voice saying ‘Hey, Ray.’ ” He
shook his head. “ ‘Hey Ray.’ ”
Grace could almost hear it
herself.
“Did you two go together in school?”
she asked.
“God, no.” He laughed and explained,
“That high I was talking about? It didn’t take me long to figure
out that Jen smiled that way at the whole world. Whenever I tried
to really talk to her between classes, I could hardly get a
sentence out because she greeted everybody. ‘Hey,
Jake!’ ‘Hey, Carla!’ ‘Hey, Sara!’ It was so irritating.” He
shot a sharp look at Grace. “Do you know that when I looked at
Jen’s Facebook page after she died, she had over 1,300 friends? I
have forty-two. And most of those are from work.”
Grace smiled. “So when did you and
Jennifer start going out?”
“Well, the first time we got
together—sort of—was right before high school ended. We’d been
friends for years, but only from being in classes together, and
clubs. But Jen was really popular. She wasn’t a cheerleader type,
just a girl everybody liked. In school she dated the captain of the
junior varsity basketball team, then the debate club president,
then Kevin Early, then a guy named Eddie Carter, who was her date
to the senior prom.”
“Who did you go with?”
“Sonia Krohn, my chemistry lab
partner.”
“What happened with her?”
“She gave me a concussion. Then I think
she went to MIT.”
Grace sputtered. “Wait—back up. A
concussion?”
“In Sonia’s defense, I behaved badly.
After we arrived at the prom, I went to get her a sparking apple
juice, and then on the way I walked by Jen. I almost didn’t
recognize her because she was standing all alone. I mean, I hadn’t
even seen her standing by herself in six
years, and then suddenly, there we were at the prom, not
another person around. Turns out, her date, Eddie, had had a
Sea-Doo accident on Lake Austin that day and was in the hospital,
so Jen had come to the dance with a couple of friends. And then
Sinead O’Connor started singing that ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ song,
and I asked her to dance, and she said yes, and before I knew what
was what, two dances had gone by, and Sonia was glaring at me next
to a Styrofoam rock.”
Absorbed in the story, Grace eased
herself into the other chair. “Styrofoam rock?”
“The Seniors’ theme was ‘Blaze of
Glory,’ because of the Bon Jovi song, so they’d decorated the hall
like the Grand Canyon, like in the video. Anyway, long story short,
Sonia shoved me into the Styrofoam, which made the Grand Canyon
wall start to wobble, and then it was just me holding it up, and
several people gasped and ran over for fear that the whole thing
was about to come down. A football player named Bryan Bennett
pushed me out of the way, and somehow I lost my balance and ended
up clunking my head against the corner of the refreshment table.
So, technically, I guess Sonia didn’t give me the concussion. She
just gave me the shove that started it all.”
It was amazing to hear all this. Grace
got the impression that Ray had barely communicated with anyone for
months, but here he was, opening up to her. It was like the moment
when a wild animal inched up toward you to take a piece of
food.
“Jen and I left the dance together and
ended up driving out to Mount Bonnell and sneaking up the stone
steps after curfew to look at the view. It took a quarter hour of
city gazing and passionate hand holding for me to work up the nerve
to kiss her. When I finally bent down and touched my lips to hers,
it was nearly overwhelming—really. At first I thought I was just
seeing stars because of how great the kiss was. Then I realized
that I was about to black out from a headache.
“Jen drove me to the hospital and
visited Eddie while I waited in the ER. I felt like an idiot. My
parents came and my dad drove Jen home before he took me back to
our house. He kept calling Jen Sonia—I’m not sure I ever made him
understand what had happened.”
“So you and Jennifer didn’t actually go
out in high school?”
“No, we didn’t really get together
until college, and that was sort of by accident, too.”
“Where—”
“Hello, you two!” someone yodeled at
them from the street. It was Muriel Blainey. She turned up the
walkway and stopped just at the porch steps. She wore a lime-green
shirt and lemon-yellow pedal pushers. “You two sure look comfy
cozy, porch-sitting together.”
Ray shot to his feet. “Hello,
Muriel.”
“Don’t get up on my account. Y’all
looked like you were deep in conversation about something or
other.”
Then why did you butt
in? Grace wondered, annoyed.
Ray was already edging away, taking the
stairs backward so that he looked as if his feet could easily miss
a step. Grace worried she would never be able to look at him
without imagining the Grand Canyon about to crash down on his
head.
“I need to get back to work,” he
said.
He fled back to his house, and then
Muriel rounded on Grace. “You sure are playing your cards right.
Maybe befriending the children is the way
to a widower’s heart.”
Grace was so surprised she almost
laughed. “We were just talking.”
Muriel sent her a knowing smile. “And
how many people in the neighborhood do you think Ray’s actually
talked to since the accident? I’ll give you a hint—goose
egg.”
“Maybe it’s easier to talk to me
because I’m an outsider. I never knew Jennifer or
Nina.”
“That’s probably to your advantage,”
Muriel said.
Advantage? “I’m not trying to—” Grace
choked on the words. It was stupid even to be having this
conversation. In fact, she was beginning to feel
angry.
“How’s that boyfriend of yours?” Muriel
asked. “The one you talk about but we never see.”
“He’s good. How’s your husband?” Grace
asked. Two could play at this game.
“Fine,” Muriel said, adding, “in
California, at the moment.”
“It must be hard, having him away so
much.”
Muriel’s lips twisted at the corners.
“Yes, it is.”
After Muriel left, Grace went inside
but glanced once or twice out at the two empty chairs on the porch,
almost as if she could imagine herself and Ray sitting in them. A
sharp desire to know what happened when he and Jennifer met again
plagued her the rest of the afternoon. It was as if she’d been left
with a series cliffhanger and now had to wait till the new
television season. But what were the chances Ray would ever open up
to her again?