1990

DAY NIGHT
1 Yain Beron
2 Janor Barol
3 Nasnia Thami
4 Salla Athar
5 Sadedali Methon
6 Thamur Rana
7 Ourer Netos
8 Thamic Tafrac
9 Neron Sassur
10 Jayon Agle
11 Abai Calerva
12 Natalon Salam

Spring: Carcasa, Core, Amatiel, Commissoros

Summer: Gargatel, Tariel, Gaviel

Fall: Tarquam, Guabarel

Winter: Amabael, Cetarari

January 24:

Dean turns eleven today. He asked for his own gun, and I got him one. A Seecamp LWS .32 automatic, the smallest gun I could find that offered any kind of stopping power. Dean and I poured silver slugs for it ourselves, and we loaded it with alternating silver and Winchester hollow-points. He’s got it in his pocket now.

May 2:

Sammy is seven today. I think we’re going to get him through the first grade this year. He’s a smart little kid, but we’ve moved around so much that he’s a little behind in school. And I haven’t been doing the stuff I need to do with him on that front. I need to be better around reading to him —stuff other than field manuals and weird newspaper headlines. He’s okay at math, and he knows some scientific stuff, because e’s seen people doing some weird experiments at the roadhouse and Pastor Jim’s, but he neds your basic little kid school stuff. I’d ask Dean to do it, but there’s only so much you can pile on a kid. Having Sammy’s life in his hands is enough for Dean; he can’t be responsible for home-schooling Sammy too. God. This is more time I’m reminded how much we need Mary.

May 17:

This would have been our twelfth anniversary. Silk.

October 3:

Winstedt —Shaman, Saiva, and Suti:

Sir Frank Sweettenham has described how a spirit-raising séance was conducted by a royal female shaman during the illness of a ruler of Perak some thirty years ago. The magician, dressed like a man, sat with veiled head before a taper in her right hand a sheaf of grass cut square at top and bottom. This sheaf she took convulsively. The taper flared, a signal that the spirit invoked was entering the candle. The magician, now supposed to be in a trance, bowed to the taper “and to each male member of the reigning family present!” After many spirits had been invoked, the sick raja was brought out and seated on a sixteen-sided stand (an improvement on the double pentacle called Solomon’s seat) to await, with shrouded head and a square bunch of grass in his hand, the advent of the spirits of the State. Conducted back to bed, His Highness fell later into a swoon attributed to possession by those spirits! At this royal séance the magician’s daughter led an orchestra of “five or six girls holding native drums, instruments with a skin stretched over one side only” and beaten with the fingers.

In an account of yet another séance in Selangor, where to cure an ailment the magician became possessed by the tiger-spirit, it is said that the ceremony usually took place on three nights and that the same odd number of persons should be present each time. For the reception of the spirit an artificial bouquet of flowers, doves and centipedes, all made of palm-leaf, was prepared. After an invocation the magician bathed himself in incense, suffered spasmodic convulsions, spoke a spirit language, became possessed, sat with shrouded head, lit tapers on the edges of three jars of water, and rubbed the patient with a bezoar stoner. Then donning a white coat and head-doth, he fumigated a dagger, dropped silver coins into the three jars, and gazed to see their position under the three tapers, declaring that it indicated the gravity of the patient’s illness. Scattering handfuls of charmed rice round the jars, he put into them improvised bouquets of areca-palm blossom, and plunged his dagger into each bouquet to dispel lurking spirits of evil. Another sheaf of palm-blossom he anointed with oil and used for stroking the patient from head to heel. Next he was possessed by the tiger-spirit, scratched, growled, and licked the naked body of the patient. He drew blood from his own arm with the point of the dagger and fenced with his invisible spirit foe. Once more he stroked the patient with the sheaf of blossom and with his hands. Again he stabbed the bouquets, stroked the patient, and after lying still for an interval recovered consciousness.

November 2:

Mary has been dead for seven years.

Psychopomp. Term for god or entity responsible for guiding souls to the afterlife. In Greece, Hermes. In Norse myth, the Valkyries. In Egypt, Anubis. Voodoo traditions, going back to their African roots, offer the Ghede. Irish, Ankou. In most shamanic traditions, the shaman is a sort of psychopomp both at the beginning of life and at the end. He or she was present at birth to usher the child into the world, and present at death to see the soul on its journey. Medieval legends of the scythe-bearing Grim Reaper perhaps connected to practice in some parts of Europe whereby the dead were stabbed or buried with sickles. The real reapers are purely psychic entities, with power over time and perception. They can change the way a human sees his surroundings, and change their own appearance, usually to ease the transition from life into death. The reaper’s true form is hard to pin down, but most accounts suggest that the natural way for a living person to see a reaper is as a wraith-figure wearing tattered winding sheets or burial cloth.

Black dogs are also psychopomps sometimes. Buried in the foundations of churches to guard and protect the gates between here and the afterlife.

December 25:

Battled a nasty little bugger today. Kicked the best back to wherever it came from. But as I looked into that stinking mouth, I wondered for the hundredth time: when’s my time gonna come? And if something happens to me, who’ll take care of the boys? Dean tries to be the big man a lot, but he’s not even twelve. And Sam’s just seven. Just trying to do this without you is hard enough, Mary… Mary…

Mary…

Focus. The Beast of Bray Road. It’s the Black Shuck and the hellhound all over again. Where do these black dogs come from? Agrippa had a black dog, said to be his familiar —he freed it from his deathbed and it trotted outside, never to be seen again. If you can believe anything anyone says about Agrripa. Even Churchill called his depression his black dog. What was really getting to him? He maybe needed a hunter around.

Some Christmas.