CHAPTER 2
A COUPLE OF PEOPLE GASPED, no doubt over Keith’s
use of the term “vamp lover.” Neither word was that terrible in and
of itself, but together . . . well, they represented an idea that
was pretty much anathema to all that the Alchemists stood for. We
fought to protect humans from vampires. Being in league with those
creatures was about the vilest thing any of us could be accused of.
Even while questioning me earlier, the other Alchemists had been
very careful with their choice of language.
Keith’s usage was almost obscene. Horowitz looked
angry on my behalf and opened his mouth as though he might make an
equally biting retort. After a quick glance at Zoe and me, he
seemed to reconsider, and stayed silent. Michaelson, however,
couldn’t help himself from muttering, “Protect us all.” He made the
sign against evil.
Yet it wasn’t Keith’s name-calling that really set
me off (though that did certainly send a chill through me). It was
Stanton’s earlier offhand comment. We know you requested
Zoe.
Keith had requested Zoe for this assignment? My
resolve to keep her out of it grew by leaps and bounds. The thought
of her going off with him made me clench my fists. Everyone here
might think Keith Darnell was some kind of poster child, but I knew
better. No girl—let alone my sister—should be left alone with
him.
“Keith,” said Stanton, a gentle warning in her
voice. “I can respect your feelings, but you aren’t in a position
to make that call.”
He flushed. “Palm Springs is my post! I have every
right to dictate what goes on in my territory.”
“I can understand why you’d feel that way,” said my
father. Unbelievable. If Zoe or I had questioned authority like
Keith had, our father wouldn’t have hesitated to tell us our
“rights”—or rather, he’d tell us that we had none. Keith had
stayed with my family one summer—young Alchemists sometimes did
that while training—and my father had grown to regard him like the
son he’d never had. Even then, there’d been a double standard
between Keith and us. Time and distance apparently hadn’t
diminished that.
“Palm Springs may be your post,” said Stanton, “but
this assignment is coming from places in the organization that are
far above your reach. You’re essential for coordination, yes, but
you are by no means the ultimate authority here.” Unlike me, I
suspected Stanton had smacked a few people in her day, and I think
she wanted to do that to Keith now. It was funny that she would
become my defender, since I’d been pretty sure she didn’t buy my
story about using Rose to advance my career.
Keith visibly calmed himself, wisely realizing a
childish outburst wasn’t going to get him anywhere. “I understand.
But I’m simply worried about the success of this mission. I know
both of the Sage girls. Even before Sydney’s ‘incident,’ I had
serious concerns about her. I figured she’d grow out of them,
though, so I didn’t bother saying anything at the time. I see now I
was wrong. Back then, I actually thought Zoe would have been a far
better choice for the family position. No offense, Jared.” He gave
my father what was probably supposed to be a charming smile.
Meanwhile, it was getting harder and harder to hide
my incredulity. “Zoe was eleven when you stayed with us,” I said.
“How in the world could you have drawn those conclusions?” I didn’t
buy for an instant that he’d had “concerns” about me back then.
No—scratch that. He’d probably had concerns the last day he stayed
with us, when I confronted him about a dirty secret he’d been
hiding. That, I was almost certain, was what all of this was about.
He wanted me silenced. My adventures with Rose were simply an
excuse to get me out of the way.
“Zoe was always advanced for her age,” Keith said.
“Sometimes you can just tell.”
“Zoe’s never seen a Strigoi, let alone a Moroi!
She’d probably freeze up if she did. That’s true of most
Alchemists,” I pointed out. “Whoever you send is going to have to
be able to stand being around them, and no matter what you think of
my reasons, I’m used to them. I don’t like them, but I know how to
tolerate them. Zoe hasn’t had anything but the most basic of
instruction—and that’s all been in our home. Everyone keeps saying
this is a serious assignment. Do you really want to risk its
outcome because of inexperience and unsubstantiated fears?” I
finished, proud of myself for staying calm and making such a
reasoned argument.
Barnes shifted uneasily. “But if Keith had doubts
years ago . . .”
“Zoe’s training is still probably enough to get
by,” said my father.
Five minutes ago, my father had endorsed me going
instead of her! Was anyone here even listening to me? It was like I
was invisible now that Keith was here. Horowitz had been busily
cleaning and putting away his tattooing tools but looked up to
scoff at Barnes’s remark.
“You said the magic words: ‘years ago.’ Keith
couldn’t have been much older than these girls are now.” Horowitz
shut his tool case and leaned casually against the wall, arms
crossed. “I don’t doubt you, Keith. Not exactly. But I’m not really
sure you can base your opinion of her off memories from when you
were all children.”
By Horowitz’s logic, he was saying I was still a
child, but I didn’t care. He’d delivered his comments in an
effortless, easy way that nonetheless left Keith looking like an
idiot. Keith knew it, too, and turned bright red.
“I concur,” said Stanton, who was clearly getting
impatient. “Sydney wants this badly, and few would, considering it
means she’ll actually have to live with a vampire.”
Want it badly? Not exactly. But I did want to
protect Zoe at all costs and restore my credibility. If it meant
thwarting Keith Darnell along the way, then so much the—
“Wait,” I said, replaying Stanton’s words. “Did you
say live with a vampire?”
“Yes,” said Stanton. “Even if she’s in hiding, the
Moroi girl still has to have some semblance of a normal life. We
figured we’d kill two birds with one stone and enroll her in a
private boarding school. Take care of her education and
lodging. We would make arrangements for you to be her
roommate.”
“Wouldn’t that mean . . . wouldn’t that mean I’d
have to go to school?” I asked, feeling a little puzzled now. “I
already graduated.” High school, at least. I’d made it clear a
number of times to my father that I’d love to go to college. He’d
made it equally clear that he didn’t feel there was a need.
“You see?” said Keith, jumping on the opportunity.
“She’s too old. Zoe’s a better age match.”
“Sydney can pass for a senior. She’s the right
age.” Stanton gave me a once-over. “Besides, you were homeschooled,
right? This’ll be a new experience for you. You can see what you
were missing.”
“It would probably be easy for you,” said my father
grudgingly. “Your education was superior to anything they can
offer.” Nice backhanded compliment, Dad.
I was afraid to show how uneasy this deal was
making me. My resolve to look out for Zoe and myself hadn’t
changed, but the complications just kept growing. Repeat high
school. Live with a vampire. Keep her in witness protection. And
even though I’d talked up how comfortable I was around vampires,
the thought of sharing a room with one—even a seemingly benign one
like Jill—was unnerving. Another woe occurred to me.
“Would you be an undercover student too?” I asked
Keith. The idea of lending him class notes made me nauseous
again.
“Of course not,” he said, sounding insulted. “I’m
too old. I’ll be the Local Area Mission Liaison.” I was willing to
bet he’d just made that title up on the spot. “My job is to help
coordinate the assignment and report back to our superiors. And I’m
not going to do it if she’s the one there.” He looked from
face to face as he spoke that last line, but there was no question
who she was. Me.
“Then don’t,” said Stanton bluntly. “Sydney is
going. That’s my decision, and I’ll argue it to any higher
authority you want to take it to. If you are so against her
placement, Mr. Darnell, I will personally see that you are
transferred out of Palm Springs and don’t have to deal with her at
all.”
All eyes swiveled to Keith, and he hesitated. She’d
caught him in a trap, I realized. I had to imagine that with its
climate, Palm Springs didn’t see a lot of vampire action. Keith’s
job there was probably pretty easy, whereas when I’d worked in St.
Petersburg, I’d been constantly having to do damage control. That
place was a vampire haven, as were some of the other places in
Europe and Asia my father had taken me to visit. Don’t even get me
started about Prague. If Keith were transferred, he took the risk
of not only getting a bigger workload but also of being in a much
worse location. Because although Palm Springs wasn’t desirable for
vampires, it sounded kind of awesome for humans.
Keith’s face confirmed as much. He didn’t want to
leave Palm Springs. “What if she goes there, and I have reason to
suspect her of treason again?”
“Then report her,” said Horowitz, shifting
restlessly. He obviously wasn’t impressed with Keith. “The same as
you would anyone.”
“I can increase some of Zoe’s training in the
meantime,” said my father, almost as an apology to Keith. It was
clear whose side my father was on. It wasn’t mine. It wasn’t even
Zoe’s, really. “Then, if you find fault with Sydney, we can replace
her.”
I bristled at the thought of Keith being the one to
decide if I had faults, but that didn’t bother me nearly as much as
the thought of Zoe still being tied to this. If my father was
keeping her on standby, then she wasn’t out of danger yet. The
Alchemists could still have their hooks in her—as could Keith. I
vowed then that no matter what it took, even if I had to handfeed
him grapes, I would make sure Keith had no reason to doubt my
loyalties.
“Fine,” he said, the word seeming to cause him a
lot of pain. “Sydney can go . . . for now. But I’ll be watching
you.” He fixed his gaze on me. “And I’m not going to cover for you.
You’ll be responsible for keeping that vampire girl in line and
getting her to her feedings.”
“Feedings?” I asked blankly. Of course. Jill would
need blood. For a moment, all my confidence wavered. It was easy to
talk about hanging out with vampires when none were around. Easier
still when you didn’t think about what it was that made vampires
who they were. Blood. That terrible, unnatural need that fueled
their existence. An awful thought sprang into my mind, vanishing as
quickly as it came. Am I supposed to give her my
blood? No. That was ridiculous. That was a line the Alchemists
would never cross. Swallowing, I tried to conceal my brief moment
of panic. “How do you plan on feeding her?”
Stanton nodded to Keith. “Would you explain?” I
think she was giving him a chance to feel important, as a way of
making up for his earlier defeat. He ran with it.
“There’s only one Moroi we know of living in Palm
Springs,” said Keith. As he spoke, I noticed that his tousled blond
hair was practically coated in gel. It gave his hair a slimy shine
that I didn’t think was attractive in the least. Also, I didn’t
trust any guy who used more styling products than I did. “And if
you ask me, he’s crazy. But he’s harmless crazy—inasmuch as any of
them are harmless. He’s this old recluse who lives outside the
city. He’s got this hang-up about the Moroi government and doesn’t
associate with any of them, so he isn’t going to tell anyone you
guys are there. Most importantly, he’s got a feeder he’s willing to
share.”
I frowned. “Do we really want Jill hanging out with
some anti-government Moroi? The whole purpose is to keep them
stable. If we introduce her to some rebel, how do we know he won’t
try to use her?”
“That’s an excellent point,” said Michaelson,
seeming surprised to admit as much.
I hadn’t meant to undermine Keith. My mind had just
jumped ahead in this way it had, spotting a potential problem and
pointing it out. From the look he gave me, though, it was like I
was purposely trying to discredit his statement and make him look
bad.
“We won’t tell him who she is, obviously,” he said,
a glint of anger in his good eye. “That would be stupid. And he’s
not part of any faction. He’s not part of anything. He’s convinced
the Moroi and their guardians let him down, so he wants nothing to
do with any of them. I’ve passed a story to him about how Jill’s
family has the same antisocial feelings, so he’s
sympathetic.”
“You’re right to be wary, Sydney,” said Stanton.
There was a look of approval in her eyes, like she was pleased at
having defended me. That approval meant a lot to me, considering
how fierce she often seemed. “We can’t assume anything about any of
them. Although we also checked out this Moroi with Abe Mazur, who
concurs he’s harmless enough.”
“Abe Mazur?” scoffed Michaelson. He scratched at
his graying beard. “Yes. I’m sure he’d be an expert on who’s
harmless or not.”
My heart lurched at the name, but I tried not to
show it. Do not react, do not react, I ordered my face.
After a deep breath, I asked very, very carefully, “Is Abe Mazur
the Moroi who’s going with Jill? I’ve met him before . . . but I
thought you said it was an Ivashkov who was going.” If Abe Mazur
was in residence in Palm Springs, that would alter things
significantly.
Michaelson scoffed. “No, we’d never send you off
with Abe Mazur. He’s simply been helping with the organization of
this plan.”
“What’s so bad about Abe Mazur?” asked Keith. “I
don’t know who he is.”
I studied Keith very closely as he spoke, looking
for some trace of deception. But, no. His face was all innocence,
openly curious. His blue eyes—or eye, rather—held a rare look of
confusion, contrasting with the usual know-it-all arrogance. Abe’s
name meant nothing to him. I exhaled a breath I hadn’t realized I’d
been holding.
“A scoundrel,” said Stanton flatly. “He knows far
too much about things he shouldn’t. He’s useful, but I don’t trust
him.”
A scoundrel? That was an understatement. Abe Mazur
was a Moroi whose nickname in Russia—zmey, the serpent—said
it all. Abe had done a number of favors for me, ones I’d had to pay
back at considerable risk to myself. Part of that payback had been
helping Rose escape. Well, he’d called it payback; I called it
blackmail. I had no desire to cross paths with him again, mostly
because I was afraid of what he’d ask for next. The frustrating
part was that there was no one I could go to for help. My superiors
wouldn’t react well to learning that, in addition to all my other
solo activities with vampires, I was making side deals with
them.
“None of them are to be trusted,” my father pointed
out. He made the Alchemist sign against evil, drawing a cross on
his left shoulder with his right hand.
“Yes, well, Mazur’s worse than most,” said
Michaelson. He stifled a yawn, reminding all of us that it was the
middle of the night. “Are we all set, then?”
There were murmurs of assent. Keith’s stormy
expression displayed how unhappy he was at not getting his way, but
he made no more attempts to stop me from going. “I guess we can
leave anytime now,” he said.
It took me a second to realize that the “we” meant
him and me. “Right now?” I asked in disbelief.
He shrugged. “The vampires are going to be on their
way soon. We need to make sure everything’s set up for them. If we
switch off driving, we can be there by tomorrow afternoon.”
“Great,” I said stiffly. A road trip with Keith.
Ugh. But what else could I say? I had no choice in this, and even
if I did, I was in no position to turn down anything the Alchemists
asked of me now. I’d played every card I had tonight, and I had to
believe being with Keith was better than a re-education center.
Besides, I’d just fought a hard battle to prove myself and spare
Zoe. I had to continue showing I was up for anything.
My father sent me off to pack with the same
briskness he’d ordered me to make myself presentable earlier. I
left the others talking and scurried quietly up to my room, still
conscious of my sleeping mother. I was an expert in packing quickly
and efficiently, thanks to surprise trips my father had sprung on
me throughout my childhood. In fact, I always had a bag of
toiletries packed and ready to go. The problem wasn’t so much in
speed as it was in wondering how much to pack. The length of time
for this assignment hadn’t been specified, and I had the uneasy
feeling that no one actually knew. Were we talking about a few
weeks? An entire school year? I’d heard someone mention the Moroi
wanting to repeal the law that endangered Jill, but that seemed
like the kind of legal process that could take a while. To make
things worse, I didn’t even know what to wear to high school. The
only thing I was certain of was that the weather would be hot. I
ended up packing ten of my lightest outfits and hoped I’d be able
to do laundry.
“Sydney?”
I was putting my laptop in a messenger bag when Zoe
appeared in my doorway. She’d redone her braids so that they were
neater, and I wondered if it had been an attempt to impress our
father. “Hey,” I said, smiling at her. She slipped into the room
and shut the door behind her. I was glad she’d come to say goodbye.
I would miss her and wanted her to know that—
“Why did you do that to me?” she demanded before I
could get a word out. “Do you know how humiliated I am?”
I was taken aback, speechless for a few moments. “I
. . . what are you talking about? I was trying to—”
“You made me sound incompetent!” she said. I was
astonished to see the glint of tears in her eyes. “You went on and
on about how I didn’t have any experience and couldn’t handle doing
what you and Dad do! I looked like an idiot in front of all those
Alchemists. And Keith.”
“Keith Darnell is no one you need to worry about
impressing,” I said quickly, trying to control my temper. Seeing
her stormy face, I sighed and replayed the conversation in the
study. I hadn’t been trying to make Zoe look bad so much as do
whatever I could to make sure I was the one sent away. I’d had no
clue she would take it like this. “Look, I wasn’t trying to
embarrass you. I was trying to protect you.”
She gave a harsh laugh, and the anger sounded weird
coming from someone as gentle as Zoe. “Is that what you call it?
You even said yourself that you were trying to get a
promotion!”
I grimaced. Yes, I had said that. But I could
hardly tell her the truth. No human knew the truth about why I’d
helped Rose. Lying to my own kind—especially my sister—pained me,
but there was nothing I could do. As usual, I felt trapped in the
middle. So, I dodged the comment.
“You were never intended to be an Alchemist,” I
said. “There are better things for you out there.”
“Because I’m not as smart as you?” she asked.
“Because I don’t speak five languages?”
“That has nothing to do with it,” I snapped. “Zoe,
you’re wonderful, and you’d probably make a great Alchemist! But
believe me, the Alchemist life . . . you don’t want any part of
it.” I wanted to tell her that she’d hate it. I wanted to tell her
that she’d never be responsible for her own future or get to make
her own decisions again. But my sense of duty prevented me, and I
stayed silent.
“I’d do it,” she said. “I’d help protect us from
vampires . . . if Dad wanted me to.” Her voice wavered a little,
and I suddenly wondered what was really fueling her desire to be an
Alchemist.
“If you want to get close to Dad, find another way.
The Alchemist cause might be a good one, but once you’re in it,
they own you.” I wished I could explain to her how it felt. “You
don’t want this life.”
“Because you want it all for yourself?” she
demanded. She was a few inches shorter than me but filled with so
much fury and fierceness right now that she seemed to take up the
room.
“No! I don’t—you don’t understand,” I finally said.
I wanted to throw my hands up in exasperation but held back, as
always.
The look she gave me nearly turned me to ice. “Oh,
I think I understand perfectly.” She turned around abruptly and
hurried out the door, still managing to move quietly. Her fear of
our father overpowered her anger at me.
I stared at where she’d been standing and felt
terrible. How could she have thought I was really trying to steal
all the glory and make her look bad? Because that’s exactly what
you said, a voice inside me pointed out. I supposed it was
true, but I’d never expected her to be offended. I’d never known
she had any interest in being one of the Alchemists. Even now, I
wondered if her desire was more about being a part of something and
proving herself to our father than it was about really wishing
she’d been chosen for this task.
Whatever her reasons, there was nothing to be done
for it now. I might not like the heavy-handed way the Alchemists
had dealt with me, but I still fiercely believed in what they were
doing to protect humans from vampires. And I definitely believed in
keeping Jill safe from her own people if it meant avoiding a
massive civil war. I could do this job and do it well. And Zoe—she
would be free to pursue whatever she wanted in life.
“What took you so long?” my father asked when I
returned to the study. My conversation with Zoe had delayed me a
couple minutes, which was two minutes too long for him. I didn’t
attempt to answer.
“I’m ready to go whenever you are,” Keith told me.
His mood had shifted while I was upstairs. Friendliness oozed from
him now, so strongly that it was a wonder everyone didn’t recognize
it as fake. He’d apparently decided to try a more pleasant attitude
around me, either in the hopes of impressing the others or sucking
up to me so that I wouldn’t reveal what I knew about him. Yet even
as he wore that plastic smile, there was a stiffness in his posture
and the way he crossed his arms that told me—if no else—that he was
no happier about being thrown together than I was. “I can even do
most of the driving.”
“I don’t mind doing my share,” I said, trying to
avoid glancing at his glass eye. I also wasn’t comfortable being
driven by someone with faulty depth perception.
“I’d like to speak to Sydney in private before she
goes, if that’s all right,” my father said.
No one had a problem with that, and he led me into
the kitchen, shutting the door behind us. We stood quietly for a
few moments, simply facing each other with arms crossed. I suddenly
dared to hope that maybe he’d come to tell me he was sorry for how
things had been between us this last month, that he forgave me and
loved me. Honestly, I would’ve been happy if he’d simply wanted a
private, fatherly goodbye.
He peered down at me intently, his brown eyes so
identical to mine. I hoped mine never had such a cold look in them.
“I don’t have to tell you how important this is for you, for all of
us.”
So much for fatherly affection.
“No, sir,” I said. “You don’t.”
“I don’t know if you can undo the disgrace you
brought down on us by running off with them, but this is a
step in the right direction. Do not mess this up. You’re being
tested. Follow your orders. Keep the Moroi girl out of trouble.” He
sighed and ran a hand through his dark blond hair, which I’d also
inherited. Strange, I thought, that we had so many things in common
. . . yet were so completely different. “Thank God Keith is with
you. Follow his lead. He knows what he’s doing.”
I stiffened. There was that note of pride in his
voice again, like Keith was the greatest thing walking the earth.
My father had seen to it that my training was thorough, but when
Keith had stayed with us, my father had taken him on trips and
lessons I’d never been part of. My sisters and I had been furious.
We’d always suspected that our father regretted having only
daughters, and that had been proof. But it wasn’t jealousy that
made my blood boil and teeth clench now.
For a moment, I thought, What if I tell him what
I know? What will he think of his golden boy then? But staring
into my father’s hard eyes, I answered my own question: No one
would believe me. That was immediately followed by the memory
of another voice and a girl’s frightened, pleading face staring at
me with big brown eyes. Don’t tell, Sydney. Whatever you do,
don’t tell what Keith did. Don’t tell anyone. I couldn’t betray
her like that.
My father was still waiting for an answer. I
swallowed and nodded. “Yes, sir.”
He raised his eyebrows, clearly pleased, and gave
me a rough pat on the shoulder. It was the closest he’d come to
real affection in a while. I flinched, both from surprise and
because of how rigid I was with frustration. “Good.” He moved
toward the kitchen door and then paused to glance back at me.
“Maybe there’s hope for you yet.”