CHAPTER 18
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘MISSING’?” I asked.
“She was supposed to meet us a couple hours ago,”
Eddie said, exchanging glances with Micah. “I thought maybe she was
with you.”
“I haven’t seen her since PE.” I was trying hard
not to kick into panic mode yet. There were too many variables at
play and not enough evidence to start thinking crazy Moroi
dissidents had kidnapped her. “This is a really big place—I mean,
three campuses. Are you sure she isn’t just holed up studying
somewhere?”
“We’ve done a pretty exhaustive search,” said the
security officer. “And teachers and workers are on alert looking
for her. No sightings yet.”
“And she isn’t answering her cell phone,” added
Eddie.
I finally let true fear overtake me, and my face
must have shown it. The officer’s expression softened. “Don’t
worry. I’m sure she’ll turn up.” It was the kind of conciliatory
thing people in his profession had to say to family members. “But
do you have any other ideas of where she might be?”
“What about your other brothers?” asked
Micah.
I’d been afraid it would come to that. I was almost
one hundred percent sure she wasn’t with Keith, but he should still
probably be notified about her disappearance. It wasn’t something I
looked forward to because I knew there’d be a lecture in it for me.
It would also be a sign of my failure in the eyes of other
Alchemists. I should have stayed by Jill’s side. That was my job,
right? Instead, I’d—foolishly—been helping someone run errands. Not
just anyone—a vampire. That’s how the Alchemists would see it.
Vamp lover.
“I was just with Adrian,” I said slowly. “I suppose
she could’ve somehow gotten to Clarence’s and waited for him. I
didn’t actually go inside.”
“I tried Adrian too,” said Eddie. “No
answer.”
“Sorry,” I said. “We were doing his interviews, so
he must have turned his phone off. Do you want to try him again?” I
certainly didn’t want to.
Eddie stepped aside to call Adrian while I talked
with Mrs. Weathers and the officer. Micah paced around, looking
worried, and I felt guilty for always wanting to keep him from
Jill. The race thing was a problem, but he really did care about
her. I told the officer all the places Jill liked to frequent on
campus. They confirmed that they’d already checked them all.
“You got ahold of him?” I asked when Eddie
returned.
He nodded. “She’s not there. I feel kind of bad,
though. He’s pretty worried now. Maybe we should’ve waited to tell
him.”
“No . . . actually, it might be a good thing.” I
met Eddie’s eyes and saw a spark of understanding. Adrian’s
emotions seemed to intrude on Jill when they were running strong.
If he was panicked enough, she’d hopefully realize people were
concerned and show back up. That was assuming she was just hiding
out or had gone somewhere we couldn’t find. I tried not to consider
the alternative: that something had happened where she
couldn’t contact us.
“Sometimes students just sneak off,” said the
officer. “It’s inevitable. Usually they try to sneak back in before
curfew. Hopefully that’s just the case now. If she doesn’t show up
then—well, then we’ll call the police.”
He walked off to radio the rest of security for a
status check, and we thanked him for his help. Mrs. Weathers
returned to the front desk, but it was clear she was worried and
agitated. She came across as gruff sometimes, but I had the feeling
she actually cared about her students. Micah left us to find a few
friends of his who worked on campus, in case they’d seen
anything.
That left Eddie and me. Without conferring, we
turned toward some chairs in the lobby. Like me, I think he wanted
to stake out the door in order to see Jill the instant she showed
up.
“I shouldn’t have left her,” he said.
“You had to,” I said reasonably. “You can’t be with
her in classes or her room.”
“This place was a bad idea. It’s too big. Too hard
to secure.” He sighed. “I can’t believe this.”
“No . . . it was a good idea. Jill needs some
semblance of a normal life. You could’ve locked her in a room
somewhere and cut her off from all interaction, but what good would
that do? She needs to go to school and be with people.”
“She hasn’t done much of that, though.”
“No,” I admitted. “She’s had a rough time with it.
I kept hoping it’d get better.”
“I just wanted her to be happy.”
“Me too.” I straightened up as something alarming
hit me. “You don’t think . . . you don’t think she would’ve run
away and gone back to her mom, do you? Or Court or
somewhere?”
His face grew even more bleak. “I hope not. Do you
think things have been that bad?”
I thought about our fight after the shower
incident. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
Eddie buried his face in his hands. “I can’t
believe this,” he repeated. “I failed.”
When it came to Jill, Eddie was usually all
fierceness and anger. I’d never seen him so close to depression.
I’d been living with the fear of my own failure since coming
to Palm Springs but only now realized that Eddie had just as much
on the line. I recalled Adrian’s words about Eddie and his friend
Mason, how Eddie felt responsible. If Jill didn’t come back, would
this be history repeating itself? Would she be someone else he’d
lost? I’d thought this mission might be redemption for him.
Instead, it could turn into Mason all over again.
“You didn’t fail,” I said. “You’ve been in charge
of protecting her, and you’ve done that. You can’t control her
happiness. If anything, I’m to blame. I gave her a lecture for the
shower incident.”
“Yeah, but I destroyed her hopes when I told her
the modeling idea Lee had wouldn’t work.”
“But you were right about—Lee!” I gasped. “That’s
it. That’s where she is. She’s with Lee, I’m certain of it. Do you
have his number?”
Eddie groaned. “I’m such an idiot,” he said, taking
out his cell phone and scanning for the number. “I should’ve
thought of that.”
I touched the cross around my neck, saying a silent
prayer that this would all be solved easily. As long as it meant
Jill was alive and well, I could’ve handled her and Lee
eloping.
“Hey, Lee? It’s Eddie. Is Jill with you?”
There was a pause as Lee responded. Eddie’s body
language answered the question before I heard another word. His
posture relaxed, and relief flooded his features.
“Okay,” said Eddie a few moments later. “Well, get
her back here. Now. Everyone’s looking for her.” Another pause.
Eddie’s face hardened. “We can talk about that later.” He
disconnected and turned to me. “She’s okay.”
“Thank God,” I breathed. I stood up, only then
realizing how tense I’d been. “I’ll be right back.”
I found Mrs. Weathers and the security officer and
relayed the news. The officer immediately spread the word to his
colleagues and soon left. To my surprise, Mrs. Weathers almost
looked like she was on the verge of tears.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yes, yes.” She turned flustered, embarrassed at
being so emotional. “I was just so worried. I—I didn’t want to say
anything and scare you all, but every time a student’s missing . .
. well, a few years ago, another girl disappeared. We thought she’d
just sneaked off—like Matt said, it happens. But it turned out . .
.” Mrs. Weathers grimaced and looked away. “I shouldn’t be telling
you this.”
As if she could stop with that kind of intro. “No,
please. Tell me.”
She sighed. “The police found her a couple days
later—dead. She’d been abducted and killed. It was terrible, and
they never caught her killer. Now I just think of that whenever
someone disappears. It’s never happened again, of course. But
something like that scars you.”
I could imagine so. And as I returned to Eddie, I
thought about him and Mason again. It seemed like everyone was
carrying baggage from past events. I certainly was. Now that Jill’s
safety wasn’t a concern, all I kept thinking was: What will the
Alchemists say? What will my father say? Eddie was just hanging
up his phone again when I approached.
“I called Micah to tell him everything’s okay,” he
explained. “He was really worried.”
All signs of Mrs. Weathers’s past trauma vanished
the instant that Jill and Lee walked through the door. Jill
actually looked upbeat until she saw all of our faces. She came to
a halt. Beside her, Lee already looked grim. I think he knew what
was coming.
Eddie and I hurried forward but didn’t have a
chance to speak right away. Mrs. Weathers immediately demanded to
know where they’d been. Rather than cover it up, Jill confessed and
told the truth: she and Lee had gone off campus, into Palm Springs.
She was careful to make sure Lee didn’t get accused of any
kidnapping charges, swearing he didn’t know she could only leave
with approved family members. I confirmed this—though Lee was
hardly off the hook in my opinion.
“Will you wait outside?” I asked him politely. “I’d
like to speak to you privately later.”
Lee started to obey, flashing Jill a look of
apology. He lightly brushed her hand in farewell and turned away.
It was Mrs. Weathers who stopped him.
“Wait,” she said, peering at him curiously. “Do I
know you?”
Lee looked startled. “I don’t think so. I’ve never
been here before.”
“There’s something familiar about you,” she
insisted. Her frown deepened a few moments more. At last, she
shrugged. “It can’t be. I must be mistaken.”
Lee nodded, met Jill’s eyes in sympathy again, and
left.
Mrs. Weathers wasn’t done with Jill. She launched
into a lecture about how dangerous and irresponsible they’d been.
“If you were going to sneak off and break rules, you could’ve at
least confided in your siblings. They’ve been scared to death for
you.” It was almost funny, her advising on “responsible”
rule-breaking. Considering how panicked I’d been, I couldn’t find
anything amusing just then. She also told Jill that she’d be
written up and punished.
“For now,” said Mrs. Weathers, “you are confined to
your room for the rest of the night. Come see me after breakfast,
and we’ll find out if the principal thinks this warrants
suspension.”
“Excuse me,” said Eddie. “Can we have a few minutes
alone here with her before she goes upstairs? I’d like to talk to
her.”
Mrs. Weathers hesitated, apparently wanting Jill’s
punishment immediately enforced. Then she gave Eddie a double take.
The look on his face was hard and angry, and I think Mrs. Weathers
knew there was punishment of a different sort coming from Jill’s
big brother.
“Five minutes,” said Mrs. Weathers, tapping her
watch. “Then up you go.”
“Don’t,” said Jill, the instant we were alone. Her
face was a mixture of fear and defiance. “I know what I did was
wrong. I don’t need a lecture from you guys.”
“Don’t you?” I asked. “Because if you knew it was
wrong, you wouldn’t have done it!”
Jill crossed her arms over her chest. “I had
to get out of here. On my own terms. And not with you guys.”
The comment rolled right off of me. It sounded
young and petty. But to my surprise, Eddie actually looked
hurt.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.
“It means that I just wanted to be away from this
place without you always telling me what I’m doing wrong.”
That was directed to me. “And you jumping at every shadow.”
That, of course, was to Eddie.
“I just want to protect you,” he said, looking
hurt. “I’m not trying to smother you, but I can’t have anything
happen to you. Not again.”
“I’m in more danger from Laurel than any
assassins!” Jill exclaimed. “Do you know what she did today? We
were working in the computer lab, and she ‘accidentally’ tripped
over my power cord. I lost half my work and didn’t finish in time,
so now I’m going to get a lower grade.”
A lesson on backing up work probably wouldn’t be
useful just then. “Look, that’s really terrible,” I said. “But it’s
not in the same category as getting yourself killed. Not by a long
shot. Where exactly did you go?”
For a moment, she looked as though she wasn’t going
to give up the info. Finally, she said, “Lee took me to Salton
Sea.” Seeing our blank looks, she added, “It’s a lake outside of
town. It was wonderful.” An almost-dreamy expression crossed her
features. “I haven’t been around that much water in so long. Then
we went downtown and just walked around, shopping and eating ice
cream. He took me to that boutique, with the designer who’s looking
for models and—”
“Jill,” I interrupted. “I don’t care how awesome
your day was. You scared us. Don’t you get that?”
“Lee shouldn’t have done this,” growled
Eddie.
“Don’t blame him,” said Jill. “I talked him into
it—I made him think you guys wouldn’t mind. And he doesn’t know the
real reason I’m here or the danger.”
“Maybe dating was a bad idea,” I muttered.
“Lee’s the best thing that’s happened to me here!”
she said angrily. “I deserve to be able to go out and have fun like
you guys.”
‘“Fun’? That’s kind of an exaggeration,” I said,
recalling my afternoon with Adrian.
Jill needed a target for her frustration, and I won
the honor. “Doesn’t seem like it to me. You’re always gone. And
when you aren’t, you just tell me what I’m doing wrong. It’s like
you’re my mom.”
I’d been wading through all of this calmly, but
suddenly, something about that comment made me snap. My finely
tuned control shattered.
“You know what? I kind of feel that way too.
Because as far as I can tell, I am the only one in this
group behaving like an adult. You think I’m out there having fun?
All I’m doing is babysitting you guys and cleaning up your messes.
I spent my afternoon—wasted my afternoon—driving Adrian
around so that he could blow off the interviews that I set
up. Then I get here and have to deal with the aftermath of
your ‘field trip.’ I get that Laurel’s a pain—although maybe
if Micah had been warned off from the beginning, these problems
with her never would’ve happened.” I directed that last comment at
Eddie. “I don’t get why I’m the only one who sees how serious
everything is. Vampire-human dating. Your lives on the line. These
aren’t the kinds of things you can screw around with! And yet . . .
somehow, you all still do. You leave me to do the hard stuff, to
pick up after you . . . and all the while, I’ve got Keith and the
other Alchemists breathing down my neck, waiting for me to
screw up because no one trusts me since helping your pal Rose. You
think this is fun? You want to live my life? Then do it. Step right
up, and you start taking responsibility for a change.”
I hadn’t yelled, but my volume had certainly gone
up. I’d pretty much delivered my speech without taking a breath and
now paused for some oxygen. Eddie and Jill stared at me, wide-eyed,
as though they didn’t recognize me.
Mrs. Weathers returned to us just then. “That’s
enough for tonight. You need to go upstairs now,” she told
Jill.
Jill nodded, still a little stunned, and hurried
away without saying goodbye to any of us. Mrs. Weathers walked her
to the stairs, and Eddie turned to me. His face was pale and
solemn.
“You’re right,” he said. “I haven’t been pulling my
share.”
I sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. “You’re not
as bad as they are.”
He shook his head. “Still. You might be right about
Micah. Maybe he’ll keep some distance if I talk to him, and then
Laurel will lay off Jill. I’ll ask him tonight. But . . .” He
frowned, choosing his words carefully. “Try not to be too hard on
Adrian and Jill. This is stressful for her, and sometimes I think a
little of Adrian’s personality is leaking into her through the
bond. I’m sure that’s why she ran off today. It’s something he’d do
in her situation.”
“No one forced her to do it,” I said. “Least of all
Adrian. The fact that she coaxed Lee and didn’t tell us shows that
she knew it was wrong. That’s free will. And Adrian has no such
excuses.”
“Yeah . . . but he’s Adrian,” said Eddie lamely.
“Sometimes I don’t know how much of what he does is him and how
much is spirit.”
“Spirit users can take antidepressants, can’t they?
If he’s worried about it becoming a problem, then he needs to step
up and take charge. He has a choice. He’s not helpless. There are
no victims here.”
Eddie studied me for several seconds. “And I
thought I had a harsh view on life.”
“You have a harsh life,” I corrected. “But yours is
built around the idea that you always have to take care of other
people. I was raised to believe that’s necessary sometimes but that
everyone still needs to try to take care of themselves.”
“And yet here you are.”
“Tell me about it. You want to come talk to Lee
with me?”
All apology vanished from Eddie’s face. “Yes,” he
said fiercely.
We found Lee sitting on a bench outside, looking
miserable. He jumped up when we approached. “You guys, I’m so
sorry! I shouldn’t have done it. She just sounded so sad and so
lost that I wanted to—”
“You know how protective we are of her,” I said.
“How could you have not thought that this would worry us?”
“And she’s a minor,” said Eddie. “You can’t just
take her away and do whatever you want with her!”
I admit, I was a little surprised that the threat
to Jill’s virtue was what he chose to bring up. Don’t get me
wrong—I was also conscious of her age. But after he saw her
literally die, it seemed like Eddie would be worried about more
than making out.
Lee’s gray eyes went wide. “Nothing happened! I
would never do anything like that to her. I promise! I’d never take
advantage of someone so trusting. I can’t ruin this. She means more
to me than any other girl I’ve dated. I want us to be together
forever.”
I thought being “together forever” was extreme at
their ages, but there was a sincerity in his eyes that was
touching. It still didn’t excuse what he’d done. He took our
lecturing seriously and promised there would never be a
repeat.
“But please . . . can I still see her when you’re
around? Can we still do group things?”
Eddie and I exchanged glances. “If she’s even
allowed to leave campus after this,” I said. “I really don’t know
what’s going to happen.”
Lee left after a few more apologies, and Eddie also
returned to his dorm. I was walking upstairs when my phone rang.
Glancing down, I was startled to see my parents’ number in Salt
Lake City on the caller ID.
“Hello?” I asked. For a frantic moment, I hoped it
was Zoe.
“Sydney.”
My father. My stomach filled with
dread.
“We need to talk about what’s happened.”
Panic shot through me. How had he found out about
Jill’s disappearance already? Keith jumped out as the obvious
culprit. But how had Keith found out? Had he been at Clarence’s
when Eddie called Adrian? Despite his flaws, I couldn’t imagine
Adrian telling Keith what had happened.
“Talk about what?” I asked, playing for time.
“Your behavior. Keith called me last night, and I
must say, I’m very disappointed.”
“Last night?” This wasn’t about Jill’s
disappearance. So what was it about?
“You’re supposed to be coordinating efforts for
that Moroi girl to blend in. You aren’t supposed to be out
socializing with them and having a good time! I could hardly
believe it when Keith said you took them out bowling.”
“It was mini-golf, and Keith okayed it! I asked him
first.”
“And then I hear you’re helping all these other
vampires run errands and whatnot. Your duty is only to the girl,
and that is to do only what’s necessary for her survival—which I
also hear you aren’t doing. Keith tells me there was an incident
where you didn’t properly handle her difficulties in the
sun?”
“I reported that immediately!” I cried. I’d
known Keith was planning to use that against me. “Keith—” I
paused, thinking about the best way to handle this. “Misunderstood
my initial report.” Keith had blown off my initial report, but
telling my father his protégé had lied would just put my father’s
defenses up. He wouldn’t believe me. “And Keith’s one to talk! He’s
always hanging out with Clarence and won’t say why.”
“Probably to make sure he remains stable. I
understand the old man isn’t all there.”
“He’s obsessed with vampire hunters,” I explained.
“He thinks there are humans out there that killed his niece.”
“Well,” said my father, “there are some
humans out there who catch on to the vampire world, those whom we
can’t dissuade. Hardly hunters. Keith’s doing his duty by
enlightening Clarence. You, however, are misguided.”
“That’s not a fair comparison!”
“Honestly, I blame myself,” he said. Somehow I
doubted that. “I shouldn’t have let you go. You weren’t ready—not
after what you went through. Being with these vampires is confusing
you. That’s why I’m recalling you.”
“What?”
“If I had my way, it’d be right now. Unfortunately,
Zoe won’t be ready for another two weeks. The Alchemists want her
to undergo some testing before she gets her tattoo. Once she does,
we’ll send her in your place and get you . . . some help.”
“Dad! This is crazy. I’m doing fine here. Please,
don’t send Zoe—”
“I’m sorry, Sydney,” he said. “You’ve left me no
choice. Please don’t get into trouble in your remaining
time.”
He disconnected, and I stood in the hall, my heart
sinking. Two weeks! Two weeks and they were sending Zoe. And me . .
. where were they sending me? I didn’t want to think about it, but
I knew. I needed to stop this from happening. Wheels were already
in motion. The tattoos, I suddenly thought. If I could
finish my tests on the stolen substances and find out info about
the blood supplier, I would earn the Alchemists’ regard—hopefully
enough to take away the taint that Keith had put on me.
And why had he done it? Why now? I knew he’d never
wanted me along. Maybe he had just been biding his time, building
up evidence against me until he could get me ousted in one fell
swoop. I wouldn’t let him, though. I’d bust open this tattoo case
and prove who the stellar Alchemist was. I had enough evidence now
to get their attention and would simply turn in what I had if
nothing new came to light within a week.
The decision filled me with resolve, but I still
had trouble sleeping when I went to bed later. My father’s threat
hung over me, as did my fear of the re-education centers.
After about an hour of tossing and turning I
finally dozed off. But even that was fitful and troubled. I woke up
after only a few hours and then had to fall asleep all over
again.
This time, I dreamed.
In the dream, I stood in Clarence’s living room.
Everything was neat and in place, the dark wood and antique
furniture giving the space its usual ominous feel. The details were
surprisingly vivid, and it was like I could even smell the dusty
books and leather on the furniture.
“Huh. It worked. Wasn’t sure if it would with a
human.”
I spun around and found Adrian leaning against the
wall. He hadn’t been there a moment ago, and I had a flash of that
childhood fear of vampires appearing out of nowhere. Then I
remembered this was a dream, and these kinds of things
happened.
“What weren’t you sure about?” I asked.
He gestured around him. “If I could reach you.
Bring you here into this dream.” I didn’t quite follow what he
meant and said nothing. He arched an eyebrow. “You don’t know, do
you? Where you are?”
“At Clarence’s,” I said reasonably. “Well, in
reality I’m asleep in my bed. This is just a dream.”
“You’re half right,” he said. “This is a spirit
dream. This is real.”
I frowned. A spirit dream. Since most of our
information about spirit was sketchy, we had hardly anything on
spirit dreams. I’d learned most of what I knew about them from
Rose, who had been frequently visited by Adrian in them. According
to her, the dreamer and the spirit user were actually together, in
a meeting of the minds, communicating across long distances. It was
hard for me to fully grasp that, but I’d seen Rose wake up with
information she wouldn’t have otherwise had. Still, I had no
evidence to suggest I was really in a spirit dream now.
“This is just a regular dream,” I countered.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “Look around.
Concentrate. Doesn’t it feel different? Like a dream . . .
but not like a dream. Not quite like real life either. Call it what
you want, but the next time we see each other in the waking world,
I’ll be able to tell you exactly what happened here.”
I looked around the room, studying it as he’d
suggested. Again, I was struck by the vividness of even the
smallest details. It certainly felt real, but dreams often did . .
. right? You usually never knew you were dreaming until you woke
up. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to still my
mind. And like that, I felt it. I understood what he meant.
Not quite like a dream. Not quite like real life. My eyes flew
open.
“Stop it,” I cried, backing away from him. “Make it
end. Get me out of here.”
Because in accepting that this really was a spirit
dream, I’d had to acknowledge something else: I was surrounded in
vampire magic. My mind was ensnared in it. I felt claustrophobic.
The magic was pressing on me, crushing the air.
“Please.” My voice grew more and more frantic.
“Please let me go.”
Adrian straightened up, looking surprised. “Whoa,
Sage. Calm down. You’re okay.”
“No. I’m not. I don’t want this. I don’t want the
magic touching me.”
“It won’t hurt you,” he said. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s wrong,” I whispered. “Adrian, stop it.”
He reached out a hand, like he might try to comfort
me, and then thought better of it. “It won’t hurt you,” he
repeated. “Just hear me out, and then I’ll dissolve it. I
promise.”
Even in the dream, my pulse was racing. I wrapped
my arms around myself and backed up against the wall, trying to
make myself small. “Okay,” I whispered. “Hurry.”
“I just wanted to say . . .” He stuffed his hands
in his pockets and glanced away uncomfortably before looking at me
again. Were his eyes greener here than in real life? Or was it just
my imagination? “I wanted to . . . I wanted to apologize.”
“For what?” I asked. I couldn’t process anything
beyond my own terror.
“For what I did. You were right. I wasted your time
and your work today.”
I forced my mind to dredge up memories from this
afternoon. “Thank you,” I said simply.
“I don’t know why I do these things,” he added. “I
just can’t help it.”
I was still terrified, still suffocating in the
magic surrounding me. Somehow, I managed to echo my earlier
conversation with Eddie.
“You can take control of yourself,” I said. “You
aren’t a victim.”
Adrian had been gazing off, troubled by his
thoughts. He suddenly jerked his gaze back to me. “Just like
Rose.”
“What?”
Adrian held out his hand, and a thorny red rose
suddenly materialized there. I gasped and tried to back up farther.
He twirled the stem around, careful not to prick his fingers.
“She said that. That I was playing the victim. Am I
really that pathetic?”
The rose wilted and crumpled before my eyes,
turning to dust and then vanishing altogether. I made the sign
against evil on my shoulder and tried to remember what we were
talking about.
“Pathetic’s not the word I’d use,” I
said.
“What word would you use?”
My mind was blanking. “I don’t know.
Confused?”
He smiled. “That’s an understatement.”
“I’ll check a dictionary when I wake up and get
back to you. Can you please end this?”
The smile faded to an expression of amazement. “You
really are that scared, aren’t you?” I let my silence answer for
me. “Okay, one more thing, then. I thought of another way I can get
out of Clarence’s and get some money. I was reading about college
and financial aid. If I took classes somewhere, do you think I
could get enough to live on?”
This was a concrete question I could deal with.
“It’s possible. But I think it’s too late. Classes have started
everywhere.”
“I found a place on the internet. Carlton. A
college on the other side of town that hasn’t started yet. But I’d
still have to act fast, and . . . that’s what I don’t know how to
do. The paperwork. The procedures. But that’s your specialty,
right?”
“Sad but true,” I said. Some part of me thought
Carlton sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it.
He took a deep breath. “Will you help me? I know
it’s making you babysit again, but I don’t know where to start. I
promise I’ll meet you halfway, though. Tell me what I need to do,
and I will.”
Babysit. He’d been talking to Jill or Eddie
or both. That was reasonable, though. He’d want to know that she
was okay. I could only imagine how my tirade had been
paraphrased.
“You were in college before,” I said, recalling his
record. I’d scoured it when putting together the ill-fated resume.
“You dropped out.”
Adrian nodded. “I did.”
“How do I know you won’t this time? How do I know
you aren’t just wasting my time again?”
“You don’t know, Sage,” he admitted. “And I don’t
blame you. All I can ask is that you give me another chance. That
you try to believe me when I say I’ll follow through. That you
believe I’m serious. That you trust me.”
Long moments stretched out between us. I’d relaxed
slightly, without even realizing it, though I remained up against
the wall. I studied him, wishing I was better at reading people.
His eyes were that green in real life, I decided. I just usually
didn’t look at them so closely.
“Okay,” I said. “I trust you.”
Total shock filled his features. “You do?”
I was no better at reading people than I had been
ten seconds ago, but in that moment, I suddenly gained a flash of
understanding into the mystery that was Adrian Ivashkov. People
didn’t believe in him very often. They had low expectations of him,
so he did as well. Even Eddie had sort of written him off: He’s
Adrian. As though there was nothing to be done for it.
I also suddenly realized that, as unlikely as it
seemed, Adrian and I had a lot in common. Both of us were
constantly boxed in by others’ expectations. It didn’t matter that
people expected everything of me and nothing of him. We were still
the same, both of us constantly trying to break out of the lines
that others had defined for us and be our own person. Adrian
Ivashkov—flippant, vampire party boy—was more like me than anyone
else I knew. The thought was so startling that I couldn’t even
answer him right away.
“I do,” I said at last. “I’ll help you.” I
shivered. The fear of the dream returned, and I just wanted this to
be over. I would’ve agreed to anything to be back in my non-magical
bed. “But not here. Please—will you send me back? Or end this? Or
whatever it is?”
He nodded slowly, still looking stunned. The room
began to fade, its colors and lines melting like a painting left in
the rain. Soon, all dimmed to black, and I found myself waking up
in my dorm room bed. As I did, I just barely caught the sound of
his voice in my mind:
Thank you, Sage.