CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Nicole woke with a feeling of unease she could not shake, though she couldn’t say why. Perhaps it was left over from her dream in which an unseen monster made its way toward her small fishing village in Japan, and she was expected to do battle with it. She left the hut and made her way to the beach, where she realized that something really was wrong. The pirate ship was missing. So were the pirates. So, too, were the girls’ stores of rainwater and smoked fish.

“Bastards!” Adina growled. The girls had assembled in their horseshoe formation.

“And after all we did for them,” Miss Ohio said.

“We fixed their freaking ship!” Jen kicked at a tree. A coconut dropped dangerously close to her head.

“I got their computer up and running,” Shanti added.

“I let Sinjin have my best heels,” Petra said. She wanted to cry, but she was too angry. She looked around, counting. “Hey, anybody seen Mary Lou this morning?”

They searched the camp, the lagoon, the fishing lines, the jetty, everywhere they could think to look. Mary Lou was nowhere to be seen.

“Do you think she went with the pirates? Or maybe they kidnapped her and held her for her booty.”

“Booty is treasure, Tiara.”

“Oh. Noted.”

“She said she was going off into the jungle to search for her prince,” Petra said.

“Great. Swell,” Adina growled. “Stupid romantic fantasies can get a girl killed.”

“That’s just being bitter,” Petra said.

“Yeah? Your BF just sailed away with our food, water, and your best shoes, Petra!”

Petra winced. “Harsh. I have faith in Sinjin. He’ll send help.”

“Oh my God. You guys just don’t get it, do you? We got hosed! We got all moony-eyed over a bunch of pirates and let everything go just to take care of them. Even on an island in the middle of nowhere, we can’t seem to change the dynamic. Pathetic.”

Jennifer raised her hand. “Exception to the rule.”

“You’ve got your own distractions.” Adina jerked her head toward Sosie, and Jennifer blushed. “Now, listen up. It’s your team leader, Miss New Hampshire, speaking. Here’s the plan: Pack whatever you’ve got. We are going to march into that jungle to find Mary Lou, and then we are going to bring Taylor back, and then we are going to build our own freaking ship or rocket or Sparkle Pony from Hell and get the hell off this island! Screw this waiting around. No one is coming. It’s up to us. But we are not leaving without our friends.”

The girls armed themselves with sticks and small rocks, curling irons and bottles of tanner.

Petra brought along a can of hair spray. “Anybody or anything messes with me and they will get a face full of chemical nasty that will stick their eyes open for weeks.”

They set off into the dense growth, and they weren’t coming out until the job was done.

They came upon the Empire of Taylor. It was like a forgotten hermitage — the cave hidden beneath the growth, the strange fertility goddess statue of Our Ladybird with her tattered Miss Miss sash in place. But it was well camouflaged, as if it had long been part of the island. As if Taylor were hiding in plain sight.

Taylor had built another weird sculpture. This one looked a lot like a catapult. She opened a jar of Lady ’Stache Off and emptied the contents inside, adding the bleach from the girls’ teeth-bleaching trays.

“Hey, Taylor. What’re you doing?” Adina called.

“Getting ready for the pageant. It’s very important, Ladybird.”

“Have you seen Mary Lou at all?”

Taylor cocked her head to one side as if listening to music only she could hear. “Five-six-seven-eight. And step-ball-change!” Taylor launched into a series of dance moves punctuated by ninjalike kicks and strikes. “Don’t believe their lies, Sparkle Ponies. They don’t want to save us.”

Taylor shimmied up a tree, swung to another, and disappeared in the unkempt green canopy overhead.

“Man. I thought she was bad before.” Nicole shook her head.

The girls pressed on. The jungle was thicker here, darker. Every breath was a struggle.

Shanti gasped. “You guys.” She held up Mary Lou’s St. Agnes medal.

Adina swallowed hard. Anything could have happened to her out here. “We’re going to find her.”

“I want to go back,” Tiara said. “This isn’t fun anymore. I’m scared.”

“What if an animal got to her?” Nicole said in hushed tones.

“We’re not going back. We’re not giving up on her. We’re all we’ve got. Don’t you understand?” Adina was near tears. She was exhausted, so exhausted that she thought she imagined the sound. It was the faint rumble of a car engine, like something remembered from a dream. Something that reminded her of normalcy.

A long, Jeep-like vehicle crested the hill, trampling down bushes as it came. The headlights blinded the girls till they had to put up their arms to block the sudden light. They heard the motor stop. A car door opened.

A man in camouflage and mirrored sunglasses blocked the army transport’s headlights. He stood, hands at his hips. He wore a reassuring smile.

“Well,” he said, “we sure are glad to find you girls.”