NEWSMAN: Another 2 bodies have been found in the desert 40 miles north of the Mexican border. The tragic discovery brings to 6 the number of illegal Mexican immigrants found murdered in the last 2 weeks. The bodies of the victims had been mutilated but the County Coroner says this probably occurred after death as the result of scavenging by coyotes or wild dogs. The cause of death in each case has been determined to be a single execution-style gunshot wound to the head.

 

Sal let a hard breath out through his teeth I felt it hit me on the back of my neck & Vern dropped a friendly paw of comfort onto Diego’s shoulder.

 

NEWSMAN: These killings coincide with the recent upsurge in anti-immigration activity and since January 1st local organizations have formed armed citizens patrols to assist the overstretched Border Patrol. Spokesman for one of these groups El Paso Attorney Owen Meacham issued a statement today which described these citizens patrols as lawful democratic activities undertaken for the benefit of the community at large and he dismissed any alleged racist involvement in acts of violence as “far-fetched and laughable.”

 

“You got your green card don’tcha Diego?” Vern patted the Mexican customer’s back. “Tilt your head down.”

Before Diego went back to looking at his magazine he gave Vern a glance over his shoulder and he said, “That better be a shaver in your hand.”

A joke that broke the ice of the moment and while Sal & Vern & Diego laughed about it I sank down into my inner thoughts I started wondering if I could solve The Case Of The Border Murders. So there was another seed of my Doom sprouting a root while I wondered how it felt with them the poor Mexicans who had hunger for breakfast and starvation for lunch and for dinner they had Hope maybe a better Life was waiting for them on the other side of the desert. So they follow over with The Virgin Mary or whatnot cheering them all the way so they stand the hot Sun etc. and the first American they meet says Tilt your head down and shoots them in the neck dead. What business can be worse for them what kind of Life what kind of Death?

I drifted back to Earth in the barbershop at the end of Sal’s treatment which for my enjoyment he dragged out by applying lavender hair tonic & talcum powder & brushing me off very neat. But I did not rise up out of Sal’s red barber chair when he was all done with me I was stuck to it like the hand of Goliath was pressing down on my chest squeezing my Lungs holding me there it was all the Voices I was hearing on the Radio—

I will tell you what happened in the days of The Green Ray when Lamont Carruthers had to let some character in on the Plot & keep him going forward. He created a Coincidence. Maybe it is a report on the news which Peter Tremayne happens to turn on by accident & it alerts him about the criminal doings of Lionel Horvath or it could be a front-page news Story or a photo of some V.I.P. which just hits the stands by Coincidence at the exact time that Rosalind Bentley steps out of her taxicab in front of the theater to recognize him & this new info makes her change direction so she steps into danger or out of its clutches depending where she is in the Episode beginning middle or end. In the Green Room I made a point out of it I mocked & scoffed at a coincidence like this since it can occur on the whim of Lamont Carruthers for his purpose i.e. so his Story hurries up and keeps going to the Finale. My opinion was these events do not occur in outside Life and for 73 Years that was my experience until the day of my haircut.

The man behind the microphone is called Joe Hayes hard nose hard head & hard heart and maybe hard of hearing but they give him his own show after the 12 O’clock News. His show asks Listeners to call him on the phone & complain or dares them to criticize Joe’s rough opinions on the topics of the day etc. always he is very tough on his Audience but they keep calling he is very popular also very unpopular with a high salary & contract go figure. Being his Shows are action-packed with insults flying around this one was not different.

The Voice was a man’s Voice trying to break into Joe’s heckling—

 

JOE: Al! Albert! Alfred! C’mon man! You can’t prove any of this actually happened can you. I mean if you took a picture of him maybe—

AL: Can I say one thing? Can I say one thing please?

JOE: —especially of your daughter. Yeah go ahead Al I’m still listening if nobody else is.

AL: Peter Tremayne did it. He’s the guy—

JOE: Yeah he’s the guy you say saved your daughter from the vice lords of the East 8th?

AL: He went down there Joe and—

JOE: The scumbags of the East 8th aren’t going to come out and support your tale of woe are they? Be realistic Al.

AL: He brought my girl home and I just want to say thank you Mr. Tremayne. That’s all.

JOE: In other words this is the same stupid story you fed to the newspaper. I see you got your picture on the inside page of today’s Examiner. Here’s what I don’t get. Why don’t you come right out and confess to my honest listeners that this is just your pathetic way to grab some attention and a few dirty bucks. Hey—what made your daughter run away from home in the first place Al?

AL: I love my girl. I’m real good to her.

JOE: You want some more attention? I’ll call my friend Mike Malone at Channel 5 and maybe he’ll put your ugly face on Live At Five.

 

So Al and everybody else who was tuned in heard the Sound of Joe Hayes dialing his Telephone or maybe it was just a recording of it it did not make a difference if it was real or fake it had the same Effect.

Now the Sound of a ringing tone very tense it made Al force his last line out in a hurry.

 

AL: Somebody in this world respects a father’s rights over his child. Forgive and forget. Start over. Thank you very much.

JOE: Yeah.

 

Al hung up at the same time Joe’s phone call connected and it was not Mike Malone on the other end it was the Time Lady. As soon as he heard what time it was at the tone exactly he hung up on her.

 

JOE: Terrific story from Al Abercorn there but next time Al try coming up with one we can believe.

 

Let them arrive! Let those cards & letters come pouring in! From far & wide! Let them arrive from Alaska! I will dress up warm and go there! I will help helpless Eskimos!

If I get a letter from a little child in a orphanage in Chicago who is suffering because she found out how she is not really a Orphan she is there so her mother can spend the Trust Fund which her kindly Granddad saved for the little girl so she never has to suffer I will go to Chicago!

If I get a letter from a man in trouble who worked hard his whole Life to build up a respectable business so he can provide for his loved ones & now some big company goniff wants to buy him out cheap so he will not sell so now the big boys are pushing him out of business in his own Neighborhood and he begs me to help him push the big boys back I will do it!

Because already I saved a girl from harm I led her back home to her papa’s loving embrace where she could be happy today I did that! So what is the next thing I see? A pickup truck stops by the curb loaded in the rear by bundles of Mason Examiners—the delivery driver wallops a bundle into the paper machine on the sidewalk he snaps the lid down and drives off. The paper on top is folded funny so the lid does not shut so I can pull it out. (A good thing because I fished in my pockets and did not have the correct change to pay for it so I call this a Good Sign in my favor.)

On the inside page I saw their smiling faces Mr. Al Abercorn & Charmaine outside the long brown trailer. They hugged each other hard for the picture but also for each other I believe. So it was my Proof all right how I changed their Life. I did that. So what so I am the only one alive who knows who I am! Look who gets a Headline:

NO CLUE TO IDENTITY OF GREEN-CLAD HERO

I am in the News again!

 

Five letters remained in alphabetical order & the next Case came from a 55 yr. old man called Hector Carillo who wanted Peter Tremayne to give him $200 for the down payment on a pickup truck. The next one came from a Greek man who used to make Circus tents by hand he wanted Peter Tremayne to get him a job so he could use his fine skills for a different Purpose for instance the sewing of custom-tailored garments for very overweight men & women like he sees on Ricki Lake. I did not feel energetic enough to go out & find him some wealthy Opera singer to start him off so I drank some juice and took a nap on the sofa.

My doorbell jabs me awake when it is dark outside & I see something else in the window very dreamy. She was how I remembered her. In the yellow mosquito lamp her skin looked darker also her eyes but younger than her skin like they belonged to a little girl but got trapped in her hard life to come. This is what I recognized.

“Peter?” She squinted at me she was not sure she got my name 100% correct.

Here she is in the privacy of my own home & there I am standing like a Sears & Roebuck ad in my old Bermudas to welcome Amelia into my apartment & back into my Life.

“The blackout—” I said for starters but what my follow-up was going to be I had no idea. “How did you find me?” fell out of my mouth.

“I write you a letter. I wait for you when you come get it from the place then I follow you. Sorry.”

That letter from Amelia sat on my T.V. tray it was Number 5 in the pile with her last name Vasquez very low in the alphabet.

“I’m scared you get mad at me,” she said because I didn’t say anything else.

“You want a nice glass of ice tea?”

Very delicate Amelia opened the screen door and stepped in. She let her fingers do the walking through the pile of letters on the tray & she pulled her envelope out from the bottom. She tore it up & stuffed the little pieces inside her straw bag.

“I’ve been going alphabetical,” I explained to her.

“My name is Amelia O.K.?”

“Amelia. I remember.” This put a smile on her lips for I saw her remember likewise in a flash the obnoxious experience which put us on Familiar Terms.

“Peter,” she said very soft.

Well folks my smile faded down & a different one faded up which was holding some embarrassment in. “Not Peter,” I said. “Not really. I have to stay anonymous for maximum security see?” I stuck out my hand. “Ray Green. How are ya?”

Amelia squeezed my fingers which she did not let go. “I have big trouble.”

“Yes,” I said very understanding. “Where did you go after?”

She clicked her tongue. “I stay in a motel & I don’t go out for a while. Only now hm? Now I don’t stay no more. Somethings might happen when I’m there.”

“Something?”

“Accidents.” She made the Sound of a bomb going off & showed me the Blast with her hands spread apart her cheeks puffed out her eyes fiery.

“Those men Nilo and that Perry guy. Who are they to you?”

“Dirt on my shoes.” Her Voice had steel needles in it. She sucked in her cheeks & turned her face away from me which was very Psychological i.e. she did not believe her own words nor she did not want me to doubt her.

What was I going to say? CONFESS ALL OR ELSE—? Am I Joe Hayes? As Peter Tremayne always did I used mild Psychology on Amelia. It was back to polite conversation before I could probe & prod. “You want some tea with a little lemon?”

We stood in the kitchen & I made ice tea which is a dish I make very tasty not only with lemon I use fresh Mint. Also a few tsps sugar for a whole pitcher maybe 2 Quarts. No ice cubes until the last minute! Put the glasses in the Freezer Compartment for ½ Hour and it comes out very sharp & refreshing.

When I had to squeeze in next to her I smelled her skin very Salty in the heated weather but not sweaty very unusual. I did not make a comment on it I was going to give Amelia a compliment but I did not come up with a way to put it in time which did not sound like the first sign of a Urge so I dropped it. By the way when I got to be on closer terms with Amelia I learned her secret: in heated weather she rubbed on a mishmash of Baby Powder & Baking Soda 50–50. So there is another handy tip you can write down besides the ice tea advice.

Puffs of breeze brought in the tangy odor of rust on the screen from the kitchen window you can taste it on your tongue. We did not discuss her Case only this & that e.g. the Mexican village of Tres Osos where she came from so I told her about my village Philadelphia. She wanted to know the exact statistics of my Birth i.e. the place hour minute regular time or Daylight Savings so she could draw up my Personal Astrology.

I am a Sagittarius according to Amelia which now I can add to the list American Jewish Senior Citizen Wanted Fugitive La-Dee-Doo-Dah etc. et all. I do not believe this Sagittarius business. Amelia goes by the sign of Scorpio she tells me we are a bad duet since she is Water and I am Fire. Ask me and I will say it is complete bunk since I believe that all beings are connected to the stars all right by their Atoms but no mop top woman named Fidelia with her regular column in the Mason Examiner knows from my daily business.

Amelia tasted my ice tea and she told me, “They do jobs for a big man. What he tells them to do. Anything.”

“Nilo? Perry? Them?” (She nodded yes.) “Who is he?” (She nodded no.) “What did he tell them to do that night?”

“What they did.”

“You know this big man personal?”

Amelia sipped in a tiny breath & her shoulders did a Shimmy when she refused to answer me but it was her Answer.

So much happens in this world what goes on you can not believe it. Events you can not imagine until you read about them in a magazine. I do not mean for instance the idea that alien Life Forms i.e. superior Beings from outer space & beyond came down in spaceships & carved something that looks like a spider on a big rock in Peru somewhere and never returned to explain. No I do not mean I compare such to the idea of mysterious Events which occur in Human Life as we know it. We put people on the moon & if you handed that piece of news to some tribe of Pygmies in the middle of the jungle would they believe it?

So much goes on behind the Scenes. So what do we need alien visits from outer space to explain things? There is enough of mystery in regular Life to go around. Like the Case of L. Ron Hubbard who invents a Religion makes a fortune by it lives the rest of his Life on a boat & communicates via tape recordings.

Or take the Case of Howard Hughes. For instance the business with his last Will & Testament giving to that gas station owner. Also he invented the Support Bra.

Take that Watergate caper with the 18 Minute gap! Until that sad Episode I used to believe wholehearted in the Government but I recognize by that phonus bolonus monkey business the Government i.e. as high as the President goes to the toilet too. Shame on me I didn’t guess.

Or wrestling on T.V. That is a fix just Acting for the cameras.

Now I come to the opinion it is Human Nature to deceive & to tell the Truth is a unnatural urge very hard for people. Maybe this is Evolution for you. Human beings can not go on living if they admit what they do to go on living. To protect etc. how they are proud to murder & destroy. How they like to push others around the dirt. How they get what they want. They act this way & say it is something else it is this good reason or that one but it all comes down to their Desires. I say THEY but to tell you the truth I am a Human Being the same.

Such rotten fates! Such things are done! So the story which Amelia fed me I did not react to it being far-fetched or phony boloney. “Those gunsels from the blackout—you’re positive who they were?” I had to probe her to be 100% on her side.

“You saw them. Dirty mens Ray. Their hands—” She choked up on a word she could not find. “What do I do so you help me? Por favor O.K.?”

The look she gave me from her eyes softened me up I wanted to believe the Moon was made of gefilte fish. “I’ve got to figure how you want me to help you. How? So far I—” My hands opened empty in the air. “I don’t have a gun.”

Look at it:

Men were factually chasing her. They made a factual phone call to some V.I.P. i.e. somebody else who wanted to get his mitts on Amelia. The blackout factual also (check this in the Mason Examiner). Also I saw how she was not acting it was factual fear coming from her fear for her Life.

“Who’d they call up that night,” I asked her.

“Who did?”

“The Blackout Boys. They called some yegg on the phone.”

“If you say. I don’t know…”

“I heard them. Who is it? Who’s their boss?”

She looked at the window at her reflection in the dark of it and her lips trembled. “His name John Newberry.”

“John Newberry.” I repeated to get it right. “John Newberry?”

She did not say it again. His name to Amelia worked like a curse. “He’s in the F.B.I.”

“A G-Man? This Newberry’s a F.B.I. agent?”

“Special Agent him.”

Of course such a surprise rocked me greatly. If you told me today Abraham Lincoln was a woman all along I am ready to believe it but before I recognized how crooked things can be in the world I had to grasp the idea of a man it is his sworn duty to uphold the Law of our Land & protect citizens from harm & moral soil etc. & he is involved in such terrible business? I pondered what would J. Edgar Hoover say about this rotten apple!

Live & Learn.

“My God,” I said. “He can do anything he wants to masquerading under the cloak of Law & Order.”

“You understand? He’s very strong. I can’t fight him. What can you do Señor Green?”

“Ray. Call me Ray.”

I found Peace in my mind when I considered the shape of the Raymobile how strong it performed in the East 8th 500 past the checkered flag and no damage to its working parts or mine either so if it is a safe ride to the Mexican Border she needs—

“Where can I drop you?”

“How much you charge me?”

“Charge? Money? I don’t charge.” I walked around the kitchen very insulted. “Didn’t you read the big print in the ad? I’m here to defend the defenseless. Free of charge! Charge you money? I do good for no glory. I face evil with no fear. Charge? Is that modern to charge for giving hope to the hopeless when the hour of darkness is upon them? What do you think—I blaze from the shadows with my blinding Light of Right in one hand and a receipt book in the other?”

“What do you say? You mad at me now?”

“You insult me with that question. I mean the question before.”

“I don’t know what you say.”

“I mean two before. Two questions before. About charging.”

“No charge,” she double-checked.

“Right. No charge. How can I help you?”

“Will you take me to Mexico? Where it’s safe for me?”

“I will take you to Mexico.”

“My family is there. You understand?” she said very final and tear-jerking.

I bent all my mental Powers on recalling my Pledge TO HEED THE CRY OF THE HELPLESS & HOUNDED—TO DO GOOD FOR NO GLORY—TO FACE EVIL WITH NO FEAR—(ALSO ALL THE OTHER THINGS)—in other words just do the necessary & shut up about it & when I am finished just disappear into the Mystery from whence I came from without looking back and without any Personal involvement AT ALL no matter what kind of circumstances. I did such with all parties concerned in The Case of Little Girl Lost i.e. Charmaine and so on and I knew it was my Obligation I should consider the Case first & last the Case the Case and nothing but the Case!

But since I knew her from before already she knew who I was so that was that as far as anonymous was concerned. So already it was a Case with something personal in it. The question kept nagging in the back of my mind in my own little Voice there I pondered what I was personal to her what part I am playing in Amelia’s Life—

 

Dr. Barbara the Radio Psychologist Extraordinaire (she does not broadcast her last name which is a smart move if you ask me) gave out to the Tri-City Area with her headshrinker opinion of Guess Who. After this Episode she expanded her remarks to fill up a whole-page article in the Examiner a fact which my arch foe shoved under my nose a very unkind gesture.

I was her subject of the moment because Al Abercorn & Charmaine were her special guests of the day (also on local T.V.) since they turned into Celebrities by shooting their mouths off to any newshound they could buttonhole with the Story of their brush with Mystery. I did not know what a shifty character Al Abercorn was or how he was in the middle of pleading with the Courts to let him hang on to his daughter Charmaine. His wife (ex) lived (or not) in Parts Unknown his 2 Sons lived in foster homes all he had left was the girl to show the world What a good papa am I.

By the way I am glad to state the glee of this skunk did not last long! For he bellyached on Fox T.V. how the Courts proved he forced his unnatural urges on his own daughter Charmaine which he vowed was mutual love and almost legal in South Carolina. This the Judge did not buy!

Dr. Barbara elected herself the judge of me.

 

DR. BARBARA: The urge to do Good—or what he thinks is good—might just be the public face of Peter Tremayne. It’s possible he’s got one almighty superiority complex. He sees himself as some kind of Superman.

 

Hardy Har har!

 

DR. BARBARA: Good deeds can have dark sides to them. Once he’s out there in his own moral universe anything goes. I can’t say for sure what it would take to push his actions over the line. He might take that dangerous step himself before he realizes what he’s doing.

 

I can say what it took! The weight of the world!

 

DR. BARBARA: I’ll stick my neck out and say it may be that his urges are a sort of perversion. A Perversion of the selfish desires we all have. Maybe in this man they are abnormally strong. Profiling him I’d start with the probability that he is a loner. When we live around other people sooner or later we find out that if we want to feel acceptance and belonging we have to suppress or disguise our animal nature. We use deodorant. We stand in lines. On some level Peter Tremayne—most likely not his real name—knows he is capable of uncontrolled behavior. This realization could be frightening him into doing what’s “right.”

 

Bingo!

 

DR. BARBARA: I doubt if he can form any long-lasting relationships with women or men. So his moral crusade could be a replacement for passionate love. He’s a classic example of the outsider—somebody who’s only accountable to himself. His standards are very high. Unreachable. This knowledge gives him a reason to keep going.

 

I’m a classic example yet!

 

DR. BARBARA: The individual we’re considering is a profile of denial.

 

My best side is my right side!

 

DR. BARBARA: If Peter Tremayne was with us in the studio I’m sure he’d deny that he had any desire to attract attention to himself or what he’s doing. Approval and recognition or even love he’d swear mean nothing to him. He takes pride in proving he has power over events. If I can take one wild guess I’d say he’s probably suffering from impotence or some other sexual dysfunction. Priapus. Or on the other hand premature ejaculation.

 

Not on MY hand you filth bucket Doctor!

 

DR. BARBARA: Maybe if you’re listening Peter Tremayne you can give me a call at 639–4122 and give us your personal views on the topics we’ve been discussing…

 

Sorry! I lost my last dime!

Point by point my Personal view today after all is for a quack she came to the correct Conclusions.

 

We had to stop at her motel for her clothes & personal items. She went into the bathroom with her black hair brushed down then she came out with a blond wig on instead. All puffed out on the sides & folded back like pigeon wings. Instead of her Mexican shirt with the parrots she put on a female Safari Suit of beige but Amelia could not cover up her figure which is strictly Hourglass. Mae West the Second. My inner thought was I extremely doubted if this disguise would trick John Newberry or his gunsels Nilo & Perry if they got on our trail.

Unroll the wide open spaces! Our magic carpet (Raymobile) carried us away from Mason where the desert lands spread out. For a hour Amelia sat back silent against the car door or squirmy in the seat. She was a nervous passenger her jitterbug nerves from picturing the whereabouts & whatabouts of John Newberry which picture crushed her down to silence.

She made me worry very bad into the bargain. She did not wear her seat belt nor the door was not locked but these risks Amelia did not count very high. Other dangers distracted her mind off proper automobile Safety habits. Yes the same way other ideas distracted my mind from driving namely I pondered how she got shaped by the personal experiences of her Life. I observed her round shoulders very female but curved by muscles underneath. Compared to the figure of a swimming champ it struck me the same so she plunges in she strokes hard she pulls herself through. Every time she spoke up with a little burst of words I pictured her the same lifting her face out of the water for a breath. “You want the radio on?” for instance or “Look at this clouds Ray. Fline saucers.”

“You believe in flying saucers?”

“I believe in somethings,” she said. “Some aliens come down here sometimes I think so.” Amelia shrugged & squirmed around sideways.

“I read a documented article in the Enquirer about that Air Force base in Nevada where Government scientists are studying a preserved alien. Also they got the wreck of his flying saucer locked in there too.”

“You don’t believe it him?”

“Aliens in Nevada? My mind is open about outer space but so far the scientists don’t have any concrete evidence to go on.”

She had a firm opinion on this. “They don’t tell you everythings. They can hide some evidence someplace. If they don’t want to tell somethings then…”

“Aliens among us the Government was keeping illegal somewhere? I’m sure we’d hear about it,” I said & just paid attention to my driving. She clammed up & I clammed up likewise. But 5 Minutes later she poked me in the ribs. “Cut it out. I could have an accident.”

Amelia had a smile on her like a drunk nun. “I tell you Ray,” she said & she held her index fingers on top of her forehead. “I’m one of those.”

“Of who?”

She wiggled her fingers. “Of illegal aliens.”

What a kidder! I had to laugh then & I have to laugh at it the same now I have to wipe my eyes.

Except for the bunches of root beer stands etc. gas stations motels & telephone poles we were driving in the Land of the Bible. If there is a Second Coming (i.e. the whole thing starting all over again) it will open in New Mexico. It is the perfect place for it the empty desert below the empty sky above. This time it will be the Mexicans in bondage until the Mexican Moses leads them all unto the Promised Land after they wander around Texas for 40 years before they cross over the Rio Bravo into the Land of Enchantment. In modern days they can do it in campers & RVs.

I am going off the track here let me stick to the facts.

Our conversation about outer space etc. led very natural into Amelia’s personal interest of Astrology. From my birthday facts she worked out I did not have a choice in certain matters in fact she foretold herself I was going to help her for I did not have the power to fight off the urge of the stars.

“Sagittarius love exciting challenges,” she laid it out to me. “Good planets for you this week.”

“Pardon me I made up my own mind,” I told her. “Where I find wrong I trample it. Where I find goodness I raise it. Such a thing is in my nature.”

“Sure sure,” she agreed fast. “Sagittarius he has high ideals.”

Which does not sound like Anarchy to my ears anymore. I desired to keep our conversation going not into a argument Science vs. Astrology but I had to explore Amelia’s Character so I would know what to expect if we met a tight spot. From the other tight spot I was in with her in the blackout that time I rest assured she was no kind of limp noodle in a squeeze i.e. she was not going to fall apart at the seams when the pressure was on. This innocent talk could uncover other motives & tangled-up affairs which waited at the end of our road (today’s part = the halfway mark) in the border town of Gonzales at her Uncle’s house.

We sat very silent until we got over the Texas border. The Sun slipped in back of a flock of clouds & the next minute it burned a hole right through it the streams of silvery white Light shooting down. The gates of Heaven opening up to accept the Rising Souls. I felt very peaceful since I had somebody next to me there who watched this sight even if she did not look at it from my point of view. I know Amelia felt the same i.e. charmed to be with somebody else who appreciated natural Beauty.

We pulled in to eat lunch in a roadside diner of the name The Chuck Wagon Coffee Shoppe. We read the menu (Speciality of the House: Upside-down Pineapple Upside-down Cake—I will explain in a minute) and very absent-minded I was rubbing my finger around the top of my ice water glass. By accident I made it squeak out a feeble Note a chirp that Amelia nailed to the table with a squinty stare.

“Which reminds me,” I said which is a Saying of mine that I say when I can not think of anything else to fill in the blank.

“What?”

I drummed my fingers rat-a-tat-tat on the wagon wheel place mat. “What what?”

“What it reminds you?”

“Oh,” I said & I did not know what. Until Amelia unbuttoned the top of her Safari Suit & fanned herself with her napkin & I saw the loose skin of the slopes of her Bosoms do the shimmy.

My mind goes back to the Glass Harmonica Girl the niece of Mr. Burrows the engineer in the booth of The Adventures of The Green Ray. Her name was Julie. Or Jody. One of those or Christine. It was a innocent memory to tell Amelia I did not reveal any intimate secrets of my Past especially I did not brag to her I was The Green Ray. Once upon a time I witnessed a beautiful girl making this kind of music in a nightclub it was beautiful like that flock of clouds. I told her what a talent Miss Burrows had to show people the beauties locked inside ordinary household objects.

“Then you fall in love with her?”

“Don’t get personal with me,” I said I raised my finger funny yet I recalled the Number 1 rule of a Crime Stopper: DON’T GET INVOLVED PERSONAL.

I will admit it felt very warm to hear somebody besides Dr. Godfrey or Dr. Barbara show interest in my Life so I slipped off guard a little i.e. I was doing all of the answering. But before I went too far I made my personal Story my bait. If I reveal then Amelia will reveal likewise. No oath is stronger than the mutual TRUST between a man & a woman who trade personal secrets of their lives the soft spots to Protect the INTIMATE places you show & you are not afraid that somebody close knows them. Naked Truth attracts & arouses. A naked body the same. So I spiced up my story somewhat.

“I was just a lonely guy in the front row trying to get a gander at her legs.”

Amelia doubted this right off. “Why you remember her so long.”

“Sure.”

“You meet her after the show hm?”

“You betcha.”

“And go to your house.”

“No.”

“A big hotel.”

“No. Nowhere.”

“You didn’t go in bed with her? I don’t think so!”

“I didn’t want to spoil a beautiful moment.”

“Because your wife,” Amelia guessed.

“No wife.”

“Your girlfriend.”

I let her guess hang in the air. “Sure.” I let it go very casual but I did not hold her eyes which move told her a different story.

“Tell me her name.”

“Annie.”

“You know something? Annie it’s my favorite name for Anglo girls. Miss America.”

“She was like that.”

“Blond hair.”

“Yes.”

“Curls. And whatchamacallit—so many—dots. So many—freckles.”

I nodded yes. “You’re good at this,” I said & my Voice went shaky. Which I covered over by a gulp of ice water. “What about you?”

“No. I’m no very good. No like you Ray. You don’t cheat. You marry her later?”

“Somebody else did.” More ice water. “Now I regret I didn’t make a pass at my glass harmonica gal when I had the chance.”

“I marry my husban’ after one week.”

This new information egged me on to ask her, “What’s his name?”

“Julio.” On a private smile she gave herself.

“What’s ‘Julio’ in English?” I took a guess. “Julius?”

“I’m no marry now.” Very down to earth Amelia stated, “He died.”

“Sorry for that.” But the words from my lips did not match the words from my heart. Yes I was sorry for the sad effect of her hubby’s demise on Amelia but some feeling in the bottom of my spine in the back of my ribs was pushing me across the table. I felt my desire to sit on the other side of the booth & squeeze her hands in that moment very tender.

“Don’t worry. I like to remember him. Young you know?”

“Did you & Julio have any children?”

Her face went very tight & her Voice collapsed down to this hard point very distant. “No.”

Once her food was in front of her Amelia did not talk much she just concentrated on eating which was a very serious affair to her. I believe you do not need a trained eye to observe how a person’s Character can leak out in a simple act like food chewing. By the eager way she bit into her Wagon Wheel Burger & rolled the mouthful around on her tongue between her cheeks & gave out with “mm-mm” I saw in a Flash how she was a woman very motivated by her Senses. She bit into that double-decker bun that ¾ lb. of charcoal-broiled all-beef patty like a wild dog who learned the party trick of table manners. I practically forgot about my Tuna Melt altogether. I gave her half so I could watch again & rounded things off with a mile-high slice of Upside-down Pineapple Upside-down Cake.

“While you’re here the Management hopes that you folks’ll take time out for a visit to our famous Upside-down House.” Our waitress hung around my elbow with a fresh pot of coffee like clockwork she switched on her Spiel. “The building is the authentic replica of the ranch house built by Otis Peachtree in 1881 & it preserves the mystery of the Cedar Room just as it appeared to the Peachtree family over 100 years ago.”

“What’s the mystery of the Cedar Room—” (I asked her & very sly checked her name tag), “Evie?”

“Magnetism,” she said. “I can’t explain it to you. Nobody can. If I try I’ll just get it wrong. You should go see it for yourself. Give you something to talk about on the rest of your ride.”

I am a Sucker for this certain kind of Attraction for I am stimulated by any Scientific mystery which baffles the experts. Amelia did not also share my high level of curiosity about the Upside-down House so I made her a deal I will not tarry inside over 15 Minutes tops. The theory Amelia lived by was A Moving Target Is Hard To Hit. She got too nervous to stay in 1 place longer than she strictly had to which is a fear I did not feel myself at the time plus my high curiosity about the effect of Magnetism on the Peachtree house (replica).

I bought the 16 oz. Upside-down House Thermos Bottle for her the 8 oz. version looking too small to satisfy 2 thirsty adults in the hours of highway miles ahead to Gonzales & beyond. To go along with the theme of the place the real cup was in the bottom of the Thermos which unscrewed the opposite instead of the usual cup on top which was a dummy. (Amelia chided me awful for flushing $26.95 down the toilet on this novelty item but she was happy to receive its benefits in the form of a hot cup of coffee later on in the Motel room at least she was after her Safari Suit soaked in the sink & the coffee stain came out mostly in the cold rinse.)

The entrance to the Upside-down House is a regular wood porch the wood slats very dusty & gray. Inside it is what Evie said a ranch house Parlour of the 1880s—potbelly stove furniture carved out of sticks cattle horns on the wall etc. a lace doily on a round table with a kerosene lamp on it & a little glass bowl decorated by ruby red glass berries was the only Female touch.

In the dusty smell I am back in 1880. The way the sun slanted in the front windows the Peachtrees saw it exactly the same. The sky the same powder blue the Sun Rays on the wood in that same square of gold light maybe while they ate their biscuits & blackeyed peas & gravy or whatever kind of frontier food they ate for dinner. It stimulated me when I imagined the real people in that room those Peachtrees they are only tombstones now that place was full of the Voices of Yore.

A warning sign greeted me before the Mystery Room it said:

Catnip to me! The Mystery Room is 2 rooms where the major part of the Mystery Effect covers a circular area that cuts ½ into the Cedar Room (Col. Peachtree’s office behind). I stood on the threshold of the bedroom wherefrom that point of view I see the entire place looks upside-down! The ceiling is on the floor & the ceiling lamp hangs UP on its chain floating in the middle of the room like a sea flower. The bed is on the ceiling with sheets & blankets & pillows tidy in place. Facing DOWN. On the table beside the hairbrushes perfume bottles tchotchkes & whatnot looking down from the ceiling! Clothes in the closet they hang UP from the floor! Around the midst of the room very faint is a glassy shimmer like Heat Waves coming in through one wall going out the other.

This is enough of a Mystery already but the big jolt hit me when I took a step inside I will say I stepped through the Curtain of a invisible waterfall. I stood in the middle of the bedroom & it made my stomach dizzy. I saw the floor below & the ceiling above as per Normal but behind me Amelia is standing in the doorway completely Upside-down!

“You come out O.K.?” she said very antsy.

“Wait! It’s a natural phenomenon!” I wanted to lure Amelia in with me but no dice.

I agree with Dr. Gabriel Camisa PHD the Prof. of Physics at Texas A&M who offers his opinion on the reason for the Effect inside the Mystery Room on the back of the brochure. I.e. it is a possibility that the crust of the Earth is thin under the Peachtree house so this spot acts like a funnel for the Earth’s inner magnetism. I believe the work of the late Dr. Albert Einstein handed fellow scientists a pointer towards the discovery of how the magnetic field of a plant its Gravity comes with the power to bend Light rays around. It could be this is such a Case with the Upside-down House too with the Light Rays flowing into the Mystery Room being bent around in front of our very eyes by a fountain of Magnetic Force. From the OUTSIDE everything INSIDE looks Upside-down. On this side is Sense on that side is Nonsense. But there is a Reason behind both sides that ties them together so they both make sense at the same time in the same place. I believe here is another Lesson of Life in Science.

On the other wall of the Cedar Room which connected to the bedroom where I was—outside the curtain of Shimmery Air—the flag of Texas hung on a pole upside-down like everything else from my point of view that minute including Amelia who vamoosed to the Exit door. Over the rolltop desk was Old Glory the genuine article the old model of 36 stars. For Amelia’s sake I did not want to linger owing to a patriotic urge so I kept my salute short & sweet and went out through the invisible curtain.

There I looked over my shoulder & saw a sight which turned my stomach & broke my peace of mind—Old Glory hanging Upside-down! That vision gave me a pain. Optical illusion etc. or no it was a sign of Disrespect for our national flag to see it Stripes above & Stars beneath it is a symbol of Anarchy in that form.

“Wait a minute,” I said to Amelia.

In a flash I was back inside the Cedar Room face to face with the Flag also in some confusion on the subject. Because in there Old Glory was rightside-up. Should I climb on the rolltop & hang O.G. the other way around?

 

PRO: The world outside will look in & view Old Glory correct & proper.

CON: To accomplish this I will have to turn it upside-down.

PRO: This room is in the midst of a Special Condition (mystery effect) which cancels out normal rules.

CON: It is on Private Property ergo my act is Vandalism.

PRO: The view from the other side of the Exit is vandalism against all our mighty flag stands for Iwo Jima & so on.

CON: After I leave somebody is just going to put it back the way it was before I fixed it.

PRO: So what. I am here now so I must do what is right or else I will live to regret it.

CON: If I get caught doing this I will have to explain my Action to the Management & that will delay us on the premises ergo stall our departure.

PRO: I can do it fast.

CON: Not if I keep going back & forth weighing up the Pros & Cons!

PRO: I have to make sure I am doing the right thing.

CON: If I have to think about it too much maybe it is not the right thing.

PRO: Where there is wrong I trample it. Where there is right I raise it up. The right way.

 

Like a mountain goat I climbed on top of the desk I grabbed O.G. by the top hooks it came off very easy. Count to seven or eight & that’s how long it took me I flipped the flag over & went to the Exit to admire. I saw the rightside-up Stars & Stripes in the Upside-down Room from outside in the Rightside-up world & in the parking lot after I felt very satisfied about my work.

“You got your keys? Hurry up Ray,” Amelia ordered me.

This did not make me crabby another thought did. The pressure of a poison fog rolled into my mind very heavy very dark.

 

CON: In relationship to the surface of the Earth Old Glory is hanging in there upside-down.

 

“I’ll be right back.”

“Give me the keys. I want the car keys.” Amelia stuck out her hand.

“Let me do this first.”

She tugged my sleeve she did not let go. “No more time Ray! You want to help me? He’s coming. He can find us easy! You want to stay here for him O.K.—I go by myself. Open your car!”

Good Intentions + Will Power = Complications. By this I made my worst judgments. Also by this formula a Mr. and a Mrs. Lie down in their marriage bed and this is how children come into the world in a Vicious Circle. I am happy to say up to the very end this is one mistake nobody gave me a Chance to make.

In my rearview I caught the romantic sight of the Sun going down behind the tail-lights of the Raymobile and out of the windshield I saw the long Indian rubber shadow stretch in front. With the acceleration I was riding on a slingshot flying into the dark of night which loomed before me.

I will not say I was in a happy mood at that minute & the main reason of my misery was sitting next-door to me in the front seat. Amelia decided to punish me on account of sin of tardy departure from the Upside-down House which she did by the Silent Treatment. By no means it was not silent altogether since she demanded all the windows wide open for the Air which I agreed since it was dry & hot my Air Conditioner being on the fritz since 1975.

Maybe we go 20 or 30 Miles in this aggravating condition then Amelia loosens up & relaxes a inch so she kindly converses with me. “Look at those trees,” she pointed at the landscape.

Curly cactus she meant crooked Silhouettes propped up between the orange soil & orange sky. Bent over branches hooks branch into hooks on them a nest of question marks hanging in the Air. But I did not observe them correctly so I did not see how they stood for warning signs for me personal.

“Nice,” I granted it.

“You want coffee?”

I told her No Thank You very much at the moment. Here is another example of how consequences of certain actions can sneak up i.e. how my Past invades me. This idea applies to objects the same.

Watching the road & steering took all of my concentration also I wrestled the Question around in my mind should I turn on my headlights. Only by accident I took a glance sidewise when Amelia got the thermos in her lap. “Remember—” I started to remind her it was a Upside-down House thermos souvenir with the plug on the bottom & this plug fits very loose.

Of course Amelia unscrewed it from the bottom which is the correct move with a Upside-down Thermos except she was holding it Rightside-up i.e. upside-down from the point of view of the bottle inside. Hot coffee leaked out all over her hands all over her Safari Suit pants too. Did Amelia screech! Out of surprise & pain she threw my thermos on the floor she gave it a kick from her heel! All the coffee slopped out & the smell of it mixed with the rubber mat also it got on the carpet but I did not yell at her & add my worry to the mess.

“There’s Kleenexes in the glove compartment,” I said. “Don’t pull it. Push the button first. It sticks.”

She pulled the edge. She pushed the button. She screeched at it. Another screech & a kick at my dashboard in fury & the glove compartment had enough. The lid dropped open the Kleenex came out a white flag of surrender.

I will not say Amelia was unpredictable but I will say she had a hot temperament on her. In that minute it was a glimpse of her true Character—all of her reactions came very instant. When she got what she wanted when her reaction satisfied her she sank down & waited for the next thing.

It is a Tradition to compare a beloved woman to a flower of some variety which captures her Nature. Annie LaSalle I will always compare with a rose the thorns amid pink petals. Amelia I will compare with a Venus Fly Trap. Sitting still until a bug lands—tickle tickle—then she springs into action DEVOURS then sinks back & waits for the next dumb bug.

“You hear that noise?” She rolled up her window to hear better.

A rough rattle like metal maracas knocking around somewhere under the car.

“You probably kicked the fan belt off the flywheel.” I rolled my window & the chattery Sound muffled down. “It’s probably nothing.”

So right on Cue my steering wheel starts vibrating in my hands then out grinds this loud CRACK!—my motor VAROOMS out of control my acceleration is completely KAPUT!

Oh Amelia had her instant reaction to this disaster: she sank down in her seat & stared straight ahead like she was facing a firing squad. Or the Valley of the Shadow of Death in front of her and she murmured a Mexican singsong. This behavior made my nerves stand on end.

Not so far at the end of a long slope in the road lucky for us the friendly lights of a gas station. We picked up speed going down so I let out my relief by saying, “I bet we can coast all the way down.”

Good thing my power steering & power brakes were still in business so I swooped the Raymobile in and stopped on a dime it shivered when I switched off the key. I did not see him but the kid on duty was on the spot in his clean overalls happy to help a Customer with a problem that was more of a interesting challenge than a empty gas tank. A Boy Scout could not be better! His straight hair with a part on the side very neat so I did not worry.

“It won’t go,” I said. “I coasted in.”

“Lemme hear the engine.” I fired it up and revved. “Whoa! O.K. that’s enough!”

“I heard a big crack. Then I stepped on the gas and—pssht—nothing. I think it’s maybe the fuel pump. Or a rod.” (You need to show them you are not a stranger to auto parts.) “One of those or the cam.”

“You got a problem somewheres in your drive train. Maybe your whole transmission.”

“How long to put in a new one? We have to get to Gonzales tonight.”

“New transmission.” He gave out a shy chuckle. “What year is it?”

Was he cracking wise? “It better not take a year to fix,” I cracked back at him.

“Looks like a ’63 to me.”

The Raymobile’s birth he meant. “Right. It’s a ’63. June.”

“Does it go at all?”

I started the motor & put it into Drive but it did not drive anywhere. Amelia looked at me deadpan.

“Transmission,” said the Kid.

I got out to push. And another car pulls in it swings around & stops sharp on the other side of the pumps. Very ordinary for a car it was powder blue or powder beige a Ford or Chevy. Either that or a Buick. The unusual feature I did observe was instead of a mirror on the door it was a Searchlight screwed on there.

Also the 4 men inside gave us the once-over which made Amelia turn away from the heat of their gazes. Only one of them stands out in my memory in living color a hefty man with crinkly red hair on his head & very hairy hands. His cheeks very apple red too I thought from cramming his heavy neck into a shirt collar a size too tight. Nice suit though which matched his car but dirty fingernails on him.

“Hold it a minute,” the kid said to me. He stepped between the pumps & unhooked the Unleaded.

“You bet,” the redhead agreed and he climbed out of his car for a stretch. He nodded my way. “Evening.”

“Hiya.” Nor I did not want to get distracted by small talk.

He leaned over he looked right past me & he peered in to catch Amelia’s eye. “Senorita,” he greeted her before he came back to me with a wink. “Or is it Senora?”

We nodded & grinned at each other very manly. “My transmission’s kaput,” I let him in on it.

“Trouble. What is it? A ’65?”

“’63.”

He whistled. “Vintage. How many miles on that thing?”

“Not as many as I’ve got on me.”

He laughed very easy at my friendly remark. I started to wonder what was the big joke about a little mechanical problem like a cracked transmission! So what so I am stuck in a gas station a hour for the kid to open a box take out a new one & install it under my car! Big joke!

“Got far to go?” my new friend asked me.

“How far’s Gonzales?”

He put his head back in his own car. “How far’s Gonzales?”

Somebody inside cracked back, “From where?” Somebody else told him, “It’s ’bout 200.”

“About 200 miles,” he advised me. “Your transmission’s busted I don’t expect you’ll get across the border tonight.”

The kid finished filling up and asked him, “Cash or charge?” and got handed $50.

“Say son? You think I can get you to hang one of our posters in the office there?” He handed the kid a flyer.

“I hafta ask Mr. Pepper, it’s his station.”

“That’s Choley Pepper iddn’t it?”

“Uh-huh. He’s perticlar ’bout advertisin’ on the premises.”

“I know Choley,” the redhead man said. “He’ll be good with it. Tell him Wayne brung it over.”

“Wayne. All right.”

“Wayne Feather.”

“O.K.,” said the kid but he did not look up from the flyer in his hand.

Before he climbed behind his wheel Wayne Feather passed me one of his posters. “Maybe you can find someplace to stick this.”

I read it over. It was printed like a Wanted Poster and where the likeness of the fugitive is usually there was a drawing of a drunk lazy Mexican (sombrero & serape etc.) stretched out on a whole row of chairs in a Welfare Office & all around him a crowd of clean-cut Americans fretting & fuming. WANTED! And underneath it said FOR ROBBERY AND MURDER!

According to the information the ROBBERY was of food out of American mouths & money out of American pockets & jobs out of American towns. The helpless MURDER victim was the American Family. Innocent Americans had to suffer from these terrible crimes performed by mobs of Wetbacks gatecrashing the U.S. border. They bring ruin to the Economy. They breed they fester they infest. They ignore Keep Off The Grass! The poster wanted to arouse all decent Americans to join with their local Citizens Patrol to keep out Mexican pests & parasites and keep America safe for Americans i.e. a community service.

I crumpled mine in my fist I threw it direct in the trash but the kid left his poster on top of a pump. “Let’s roll your vehicle over to the service bay.”

I was going to tell Amelia she will have to get out we are going to push but she was gone. “You see where my friend went?”

“Uh-huh,” the kid replied from the rear end.

I am not huffing or puffing at all while we push the Raymobile. “What do those fellas do with their Citizens Patrols?”

“Depends I guess. They say they don’t do nothin’ ’cept drive along the border ’round Juarez. An’ when they catch a wetback they hold him for the Border Police.”

“Can they do that legal?”

“If they can or not I guess they do.”

He got the Raymobile on the elevator thing & from underneath in the pit he gave a professional examination. “Got some bad news for ya,” he concluded.

“My transmission’s broken?”

“’Fraid so.” He sighed my way. “You be lucky to find the parts for it inside fifty miles of here.”

“Can you send your tow truck to pick one up?”

“What we’re talkin’ about here mister is a whole new transmission for a 26 year old car. ’S older than I am.” He made it sound like the Raymobile needed a Heart Transplant. “Won’t be before next Wednesday at least.”

“A week?”

“Can’t even haul it over to the transmission place till tomorrow sometime.”

Very frantic I walked under the fan belt display. Under the hub caps. Behind the batteries. “All these new parts here! You’re sure there’s no transmission somewhere? In a box?”

“Best thing I can suggest is you get a room over to the Bluebird Motel. I’ll ast my boss when he gets here. Maybe he knows how to get it done quicker but I doubt it.”

“Which way to the ladies room?”

I followed the kid’s directions step by step but all I ran into was a stack of Radial Retreads no toilet door no Amelia. I did not push the panic button. On my second lap past the Raymobile I saw the kid outside pumping gas again—and Amelia was squeezing herself into the shadows behind the Coke machine.

“Where did you go?” I called out to her.

“Ssh!”

“You just got out and took off. What’re you hiding for in here?”

“Those mens.” She looked very careful by my shoulder. “They go?”

“Half a hour ago. Will you come out now? We need to change our plans.”

“Who is there now?”

I glanced where the kid was. “Couple guys in a pickup truck.” I put a couple of dimes in the slot.

“This is no safe Ray. No safe for me here.”

I obliged Amelia & kept quiet nor we did not start talking again until whoever it was out there drove away.

“I think those mens…” Her Voice faded before her thought did so I caught exactly what she meant.

“What—from your friend? From the F.B.I.? You’re wrong. Don’t worry.” I put in a quarter because no more dimes. “This is getting expensive. Will you come outside now?”

“The way they look at me.”

“They weren’t government workers Amelia for sure.” I spoke very calm. I punched the coin return but only the quarter bounced out. I jiggled some more & got Zero back for my work. “Those guys before they’re just hunting illegal Mexicans.”

“I think one of them take my picture you know?”

“Think this machine just took my other 30 cents.”

Amelia came halfway out from behind with her eyes damp & her lips pulled back over her teeth. “I’m telling you somethings!”

“Why do you think he did that?”

“Where I am.” She shrugged. “He saw me. Sure.”

“I’m lookin’ at you now doll.”

“He can fix the car?”

When I gave her the whole story Amelia hung her head down her shoulders shook & from her sobs I lifted her chin. Comfort by the idea she was not alone she could depend on me but she stayed in the gloomy mood from that moment on.

We checked into the Bluebird Motel as Mr. & Mrs. So at least we looked the Part. If I leave out the part about the color T.V. that only picked up electric confetti on every channel and I do not mention the part about the stack of magazines on the coffee table being a supply of Arizona Highways from a year ago and I do not make a big deal there was only 1 bed & 1 blanket & 1 chair I can say the room was not very bad.

Amelia stretched out on the bed I insisted on her back but she did not rest she did not sleep. She stared at the ceiling & I stared at the pleasant photographs of asphalt & cactus & Gila monsters in Arizona Highway.

She got up again and sat on the floor with her Astrological books. “You go on the bed,” she offered me.

“I’m O.K. here.” I nodded at her so the bed stayed empty. I asked her in general, “What’s that you’re doing?”

“I can make your chart.”

“I don’t want to know from that hocus-pocus.”

“It’s no for you.”

For her she meant. To help her decide stay or go. “Mm-mm,” she went. “Mm-mm.”

Furthermore I admit this got me curious regarding her investigations in specific how did they affect her opinion of me? “What do you mean ‘mm-mm’?”

“For your rising sun. Aries.”

“Is it good or bad?”

“You have trouble to end some things. You know? To finish.” She concentrated very rigorous. “You go strong for sometimes then—” She buzzed her lips.

“Yeah? What then?”

“You change directions. You go someplace. You do something different so you don’t—mm—” She started over & got it straight in her mind so it came out straight. “You stop early then you can say you don’t really fail. But you don’t succeed. You don’t do both.”

“Is that a fact?” I scowled down at her.

“I’m no sure I want to stay with you Ray.” Cramming her books in her bag! “I want to go home.”

I jumped over & blocked her path. “All right. Just don’t tell me you’re deciding on the facts because you don’t know all the facts! Planets DO NOT enter in. I decide. Sagittarius isn’t deciding. What if I decide I’m not going to let you go away from here by yourself?”

“You yell at me see? Explosion. Water sign against fire sign.” She made a grab for the doorknob.

“I’ll follow you,” I warned her. “I’ll follow you all over and make sure nothing terrible happens. I decided so I’ll do that.”

Her view was:

Stars & Planets all hum and each one hums a different note. So they circle around each other they dance very graceful & complicated in the Sky so every minute is a new combination. Sweet notes by Venus sour notes by Saturn they beam down on us Earthlings. In the certain minute a person is born the Orbs are singing his tune the Sky is humming certain notes around him. This vibrates his flesh & bones his whole body is a fingerprint of the hum of his first minute breathing Earthly Air. From now on the pattern of the Planets will play him the way the Moon plays on the tides of the World. This is a beautiful tale the way Amelia explained it & today it does not sound like Anarchy to my ears. But this was her false impression in regards to my motives in this Episode with her.

If I convinced her I did not know it then nor I am not sure today if my Argument changed Amelia’s mind and reversed her. Maybe it was not her mind it was her Bladder for she let go of the door turned around & went into the bathroom. It took a few seconds before my inner warning was maybe she went in there to outsmart me (her Rescuer!) via the bathroom window. So I said to the locked door, “Amelia? You look up in the sky it’s not the stars just the light coming from them millions of years ago. Amelia? Maybe those Sagittarius stars exploded already & they’re just holes in outer space where they used to be. I’m sorry but those are the Scientific facts. Understand?”

Her Voice came back, “Sure. Light is how the humming looks like.”

I lay down on the bed tuckered out & the minute my head hit the pillow the phone rings. On the other end was the Manager. The message he gave me was my car is delivered all repaired by the kid from the gas station. Maybe he located the transmission parts what did I know? Did I care it was the middle of the night? Did I question? I did not! I admired the jiffy service & accepted my Good Luck.

They parked the Raymobile 100 Feet from my door by the Office. Rain was coming down very light & I ignored it I walked over for my Reunion. Good as new the car! Better even. They washed it & waxed it inside and out. The carpet they shampooed even the coffee stain around the rubber mat they combed it with a fine-tooth comb so it came out perfect. And the steering wheel polished also the dashboard also the lid of the glove compartment they lubricated so it did not stick anymore. I vowed myself I was going to tip that nice kid $2.00 first thing in the morning.

I dinged the bell on the desk inside but the Manager was not around or anybody else. My car keys I saw hanging on the peg of my room number so I put them in my pocket & I cased the area for pad & pencil so I could leave a Note but did not even get to Dear Sir. I heard heavy wheels grind the gravel where I just walked over & had to focus my eyes in the dark before I saw what was there. A pickup truck it was rolling down the driveway with no headlights on. It stopped in front of our room then the Air around there exploded—

How many guns went off I do not know but all the barrels fanned out from the back from behind some bales of hay. A blast blew into the siding another blast shot holes in the door. A blast blew the window to pieces. Still the guns did not stop Blasting into the room!

“What goes on?” I said & then I shouted again. “WHAT GOES ON?” I ran toward them even when they hit their headlights I ran toward them faster I did not stop until I stood in front of the bullets. Let me say BETWEEN the bullets because nothing hit me not a bullet not a ball of buckshot not even a ricochet not a scratch on me. “Stop this!” I yelled at the hooligans louder than the Gunshots I yelled. They got out of there in a big hurry. Wheels tearing up the gravel swerving out of the driveway skidding in the road they punched a hole in the rain & pulled the dark through it.

All of the Sound in the motel room went with them it got sucked out of the smashed windows & the only thing moving inside there was smoke & dust a cloudy Curtain of it from the plaster they just blasted off the walls. The Air blurry from it. I caught one foot in a lamp shade knocked over on the floor like a bear trap & I tripped over the wire of the other one. Also under my feet I felt all the glass from the mirror and the pieces of it even too small to break any smaller.

By the dim light my eyes got used to I saw all of the Furniture was shot up I do not know how many bullets it took to leave the bed slanting on 1 leg the chair blown to shreds & the door of the clothes closet hanging like a piece of Swiss Cheese by a hinge & all over the floor fingers of raw wood torn off from everywhere. When I saw where the Light was shining a dozen holes in the bathroom wall the Silence stopped all around me I heard how the shower was still running wild.

I called Amelia by name & pushed the bathroom door open no I did not rush in there. If she got hurt in any way I was going to reach by myself the Truth of the situation. How I am a 73 years of age pathetic dumbkoff. I am not the man who I was Before & even Before I was not him either. I am only somebody in my mind. I am a liar to myself & others I am useless on the Earth. I do not deserve Love or Kindness Affection or Respect. If Amelia has on her a scratch even or a cut with blood it is proof about me. No Hero I am less than dirt. I will say out loud I am good for nothing good for nobody only good to forget about.

I found her in the stall shower she was sitting down on the drain with the plastic curtain open wide. Her back was facing the bathroom door. Cold water was soaking her hair it went dripping down her back. She did not flinch. Maybe she just turned on the shower when the Shooting started but not the hot faucet. I crawled over to her on hand & knee I had a towel to cover her up with. I leaned in to shut the water off then I heard Breathing only hisses of air. Amelia was trying to force one word through her teeth—

“Nada…nada…” she said & her Voice echoed very sharp off the tiles. NADA which means NOTHING in her Language but now I see I am writing this word down I think I got it wrong at the time. Now I think she was saying this: “Ojinaga.”

She did not have a spot of Blood on her. No cut no scratch. Nada. I wrapped her in the towel very tender I hugged her in my arms I rubbed her to warm her up. Her stiff arms I rubbed I rocked her back & forth then she did not try to talk anymore but I felt her cuddle up to me. She went so weak in my arms but I felt very strong for her to hold on to.

“I got rid of them…sssh…they didn’t hurt you…they didn’t hurt me,” I soothed her. “You’re safe doll.” Amelia put her fingers on my lips & looked like she wanted to see the words come out of my mouth. “They can’t hurt us,” I said, “and here’s why. I’ll tell you a secret nobody else knows about me my sweetheart. I’m The Green Ray.” There I said it out loud the 1st time in 45 Years. “Those weasels don’t realize who they’re up against. I’m The Green Ray,” I revealed to her. “I’m The Green Ray.”

 

The only sound was the rumble of my Raymobile’s radials and sometimes rainwater hissed underneath us. The windshield wipers slapped to & fro with my Heart beating likewise very slow & calm. Rain was not pouring down now just spitting and I could see where the rain cloud ended a few miles ahead over Mexico. From the sun rising the Air that came rushing in was the color of ripe peaches.

I did not wake Amelia up to see this hopeful sight I was plain glad she fell asleep to rest & recover after the Drama of the shooting episode. I drove along and I pondered over the conversation I had with her after we put 100 Miles between us & the Bluebird Motel.

 

AMELIA: I don’t know who did it. He did it. I don’t know who else.

ME: Those noodniks from the gas station. With their anti-Mexican Citizens Patrol.

AMELIA: Still is him.

ME: The responsible party will pay.

AMELIA: Is him. For sure.

ME: O.K.—if. If. Is John Newberry going to be in Gonzales? Waiting for us?

AMELIA: You have to be very smart for him.

 

This I promised her to my highest Abilities. I licked my lips I hit the Gas & put on some speed when I saw the daybreak behind the roofs of Gonzales. One of those belonged to Amelia’s Uncle Tio a safe place to stop & refresh before we dived in all the way to Mexico.

Let me quote Lamont Carruthers here: “A clue is never a secret but a secret is always a clue.”

I did not have any idea what he meant by that statement when he wrote it in his own handwriting on top of the Script of the Final Episode of The Adventures of The Green Ray. Nor I did not connect it to the conversation we enjoyed man to man that sad night with Lamont sitting on one toilet seat in the mahogany cubicle of the 39th Floor Executive Washroom while I occupied the next seat down. Both of us with the dizzy stomach from the Cheez Skweez & Powder Puf Marshmallows also the grief & parting.

Except for the words “This machine kills Fascists!” it was Lamont’s last inscrutable Saying because 3 Seconds later he jumped out of the window of the 38th Floor Executive Dining Room in front of P. K. Spiller and Howard Silverstein et all while they choked down their Jell-O cubes & meat spread sandwiches.

Lamont’s dramatic Exit sure lowered the boom on the black tie cocktail party that Mr. Spiller laid on his celebration over the Final Broadcast of our Show. I want to go back & tell Lamont Carruthers how I understand the Wisdom in his words today if I could do it and not return to that low moment. Why do I worry about it now since a person can not go back even 1 minute no matter how much he yearns.

I observe in this Case in particular: A Clue will stare you smack in the kisser deadeye like a rattlesnake if you pay attention & watch your step. It will bite you the same if you ignore it it will sneak behind your back & bite you the same if you try to walk around.

I believe I am in step with the late Dr. Sigmund Freud the great Psychological Investigator when I state that it is NORMAL for a person to guide himself by High Ideals & take his eyes off the important Clues & Evidence. It is NORMAL for a person to head for certain Conclusions and wander down the wrong track especially when it involves a Woman! This is how a NORMAL thinking man behaves according to one of the Greats.

A person can not guide himself from his Apartment door down to the drug store on the corner steering by the Stars above. Like that he will get lost all right his eye being on the wrong thing at the wrong time. The Stars being the right thing at the right time for a Captain to navigate a boat in the middle of the Ocean. I mean by this the Deeds a person does alone when nobody is watching him or when his Loved One is. His Deeds of Honor. His matters of Life & Death. Nor the Stars above are not a handy guide to steer around a buried iceberg. And furthermore if F.D.R. or J.F.K. or Sigmund Freud was a passenger on the Titanic he would just go down with the ship like everybody else O.K. so High Ideals do not protect. So—

Forget it. The hell with Philosophy. I just want to make a point how I at least recognize a Reason for what happened with Amelia for where was my Success & Failure. Here are some clues coming up which I did not recognize at the time my Mind’s Eye being on higher things i.e. Justice and Love.

Let me go back to Gonzales.

Besides Uncle Tio’s house (“casa”) in it this Border town also has a bank. In this bank is Amelia’s safe deposit box and the key to it Tio was hiding for her. This Amelia explained to me in the last second before I parked the Raymobile across the street from a gray clapboard 2-story in the middle of the neighborhood full of clapboard 2-stories & bungalows walnut trees front yards full of dry grass & toys dusty air grinning down on the cracked sidewalks.

Amelia led me inside by the back door at the top of a porch then half a dozen tarpaper steps. A Perfect Breeding Ground for black widow spiders I noticed & I was hoping that the residents of the house bolted the linoleum to the floor very snug.

The door opened up into the kitchen. The Radio on the table had the Baseball on from back East. Somewhere else in the house a different Radio was playing out Mariachi music. I saw the beefy back of a dark red man he was standing at the stove listening to the Game & humming along to the Mariachi music also whipping some thick yellow batter around a plastic bowl he gripped in the curl of his flabby arm.

Amelia grabbed his gut from behind. “Tio!”

Abba-zabba-zabba they chattered back & forth like monkeys in the Zoo and all the time the expression on Tio’s face was changing from happy surprise to shock & confusion it stretched out to anger something furious then it snapped back into Misery. But with him Amelia kept calm. His big hand in both of hers that was how she comforted Tio with a squeeze on his arm & a steady look.

Over his shoulder Tio said, “I don’t ’spect the po-lice showed up t’hep owt none.” A perfect Texas accent on him go figure!

“We should get out right away,” I said. “After a nap. Also you have a bathroom I can use?”

“Top of the stairs.” Tio craned his neck in that direction.

When I got there I noticed the dead silence hanging in the Air. The Mariachi music stopped playing and the only human Sounds came from Amelia & Tio speaking very low & serious in the kitchen. Every step I went up creaked which made me feel like a sneak thief coming in looking for the bathroom.

Look at my problem:

All the doors upstairs were shut a Choice of 4 every one of them painted the same (turquoise) a eye-pleasing contrast next to the gray panels in the hallway. Which way was the bathroom? O.K. this does not look like it is a very important decision in the course of Human Events but look where it led me face to face with a Clue I did not recognize.

My ideas about refreshing my face & hands etc. got pushed to the side of my Mind when I sniffed a smell standing there it was the scent of the East 8th. A cooking smell of hot oil & tortillas & refried beans also salty sweat. A Voice whispered to me it was the Voice of Peter Tremayne who encouraged me SNOOP AROUND. So very careful I nudged open the door in front of me it was not the bathroom it was a bedroom which could be a Army Barrack.

Maybe 30 faces stared at me all silent all Mexican all blank just wondering about my next move. All the cooking was on a hotplate in the middle of the floor and all around it they had blankets & sleeping bags with rolled-up clothes for pillows. A few bunk beds they squeezed against the walls even in front of the window. The shade behind they pulled down tight & I observed it was nailed to the wall.

“Howdy fellas,” I greeted them I waved my friendly hand. “I’m looking for the bathroom.”

Nobody answered me back. They went back to what they were doing before I interrupted. Combing hair playing cards stretching out reading magazines etc.

Good thing next door down was the promised bathroom. Also good thing I did not accept the Temptation to go in there to take a bath because the tub overflowed from dirty clothes soaking in cold water. It was foamy scum of dirt & dead suds floating on top. The sink was not better but at least nothing floating in it. I rinsed the hairs & whiskers etc. down the drain & filled up the clean sink with hot water. I caught a look at my face in the mirror on my way up from the sink dripping wet. A bloodhound stared back at me from the other side of the mirror.

Back in the kitchen when I waltz in Tio was by himself. His answer to my question what happened to Amelia went this way: “She’s around. Woman stuff.”

“In the house?”

“Hey Ray. You hungry enough for some o’ my flapjacks?” He even poured out Maple Syrup for me just like in the Log Cabin commercial pretty as a picture also out of a fresh pot I got a cup of hot coffee.

But I could not be the Hungry Lumberjack I choked on my first forkful it stuck in my throat like a little fist. I gulped a splash of hot coffee down after it then I gulped some air.

“Take ’er easy Ray! You O.K. now?”

“It’s my digestion. If I eat certain foods it’s cramps for me.”

Tio pulled my plate in front of him & he picked at the damp stack of hotcakes. “I got a similar complaint too.”

“Spastic colon,” was where I left it. In my High Ideals & Deeds etc. I am The Green Ray but my Earthly body is a different thing altogether I am Ray Green to my 73 year old bowels. Digestion problems do not disqualify me from Glory nor vice versa. “Blockage that’s what Tio.”

“You eat nuffa that fiber? Bran flakes and whatever?” Tio leaned across the table very interested in this discussion.

“Sometimes a week I’m cement down there.” My kitchen cabinet full of every food & constipation remedy known to Modern Science. “Doesn’t matter what I eat. Bran muffins. Bran-covered pretzels. Bran sprinkle. Uncle Sam Laxative Cereal.”

“What’s ’at? Never heard of it.”

“No damn good,” I said. “What I need is a high colonic. Anywhere you can recommend in the area?”

“High what?”

“Colonic. With a rubber hose. They insert it in your—a medical professional inserts this hose & pumps the water in and—” I spelled the mechanics of it until Tio started giving me a look like he smelled a dangerous gas leak.

“Like a enema,” he said to make sure he had it right. “That fixes you up huh?”

“For a couple of weeks.”

“Then you do it again?”

“Usually.”

“I don’t think it’d hep me Ray. Got the opposite problem. I cain’t stop goin’. Maybe I eat too damn much!”

“Listen. That could turn into something serious. You should have a checkup. If there’s a colonic place we could make our appointments together.”

“Naw. I don’t want t’get that friendly with anybody.”

“They’re medical professionals,” I tried to convince him. Then I dropped the Subject when Amelia came back in all smiles.

“Tomorrow I go to the bank. Now I can be tired and sleep,” she said & did a twirl for us in the middle of the kitchen very happy.

Tio wiped his hands on a towel before he reached over to hold Amelia’s hand. “I knowed it weren’t as bad as you thought it was. Be awright.”

To me she said, “You can sleep in Tio’s bedroom. Come on. Help me put on new sheets.”

“Where are you going to be?”

She jerked her chin in the direction of the stairs. “My bedroom. Tio is cleaning for me.”

From upstairs a noise of doors opening feet scuffling & things moving around. Which reminded me. “Who are they all in that room?”

“My cousins. Big family,” Amelia said. “Catholic.”

As soon as I set my eyes on Tio’s king-size bed a riptide of exhaustion heaved all the way through me from my feet upward from my head downward from my bones outward. Comfy cozy in there a boy’s idea of a cowboy bunkhouse with cattle horns on the wall & Navajo rugs on the floor Navajo blankets over the windows. I got into my clean p.j.’s I crawled inside the clean sheets I was ready to hit the happy trail to Sleepytime Corral.

Amelia sat on the side of the bed also she held my hand in her lap. I said, “Welp. We got here in one piece. Two pieces,” I corrected. “One piece each.”

She squeezed my fingers. “Muchas gracias. Muchas gracias to you.”

“Muchas gracias,” I repaid her.

“No—you say de nada.”

“De nada. What’s that mean?”

“You’re welcome.’”

“Thank you.”

“Gracias,” she said.

“Gracias,” I said back.

Amelia held her stomach to contain her laugh. “I say ‘gracias.’ You say ‘de nada.’”

“Got it. Start over.”

“O.K. Muchas muchas muchas gracias Raymondo.”

“De nada.”

“Bueno. Muy bien.”

“Beans you said. More beans. I think I’m getting the hang.”

By this point she was not listening to me she was laughing too hard. A very easy Audience in a festive frame of mind. Tears filled up her eyes & one of them hit my cheek when she leaned over to kiss me there.

A knock came on the door in that tender moment and Tio poked his head in. No hanky panky going on so he squeezed into the room he had a empty suitcase in his hand. His hair combed back & he had a snazzy suit on. I gave out with a Wolf Whistle which I think handed him a slightly nervous moment which handed me a real laugh. He put on his pair of Cowboy boots also he scooped a few items from his dresser a set of silver hairbrushes some cuff links etc. a couple of plaid shirts.

“Real nice to’ve made your acquaintance Ray,” Tio nodded at me.

“Likewise.”

“See ya around sometime.”

I waved good-bye. Amelia hung on his neck for a hug. “Con dios.” He kissed the top of her head then he went. She came over to me with a bloom of a smile on her lips. “You do all this things for me and you don’t want somethings back.”

“Give me this,” I said. “Those people in the other room. They really your cousins?”

Amelia did not let go of my hand she squeezed it.

So I asked her, “How many? A few?” She shook her head no. “A couple?” Again she shook no. “One?” She nodded yes—then she shook no.

“No cousins.” She tensed up & wanted to go.

But I held her wrist to keep her close. “I’m on your side Amelia. That’s fine. You don’t have to tell me anything else. See what you did for me? You told me something out of trust. The way I told you before.”

“What you told me?”

I will say this remark of hers sank in hard & belted me where it hurts. For on the floor of the bathroom at the Bluebird Motel outside of Van Horn Texas in a tender moment after danger passed us over I revealed my personal secret to her alone. Which it appears she altogether forgot! I reveal who I really am to her and this minor Fact slips her mind! Words I did not speak for 45 years I spoke out loud again! To Amelia! Out of the entire population of the world she was the woman who I handed this live Ammunition for I trusted her she was never going to use this atomic knowledge against me.

“What you told me before?”

Amelia wore the same blank look when she had a hunch she was going to hear bad news or sad news or if she had to brace herself for Trouble ahead. She did not blink & her eyebrows bent very low. She did not look upon me nor she did not look away she just waited stiff & calm for the dumbbell to land on her neck.

“Who delivered you from danger?” I hinted her.

“You.”

I awaited in Silence and I got:

“I don’t know how you want me to say.”

“Say who I am.”

She shifted on the bed & tried, “Ray.”

“O.K. you need a bigger hint. When people are in despair they want to believe there’s somebody somewhere in the world or beyond who’d care for them if he only knew about their terrible trouble & show up in person right on cue and make a difference in their sorry circumstances.” This did not jog her memory. “You know how a desperate person hopes it isn’t just empty space out there around him. I know it isn’t. Now you know it too for a fact. I hear all the despair going on because it’s my purpose on Earth to find people in despair. I found you. I singled you out. So you don’t have to wonder about is there somebody out there who cares what happens next. You know there is and you know who.”

Then she said, “Tomorrow is all finish. I get my money and things so maybe you don’t take me to Tres Osos. You can go home.”

This I did not wish to Discuss! “Of course I’m going to deliver you home! Halfway is no way! That’s why I told you the highest secret about me…I want to know…Listen. We can talk later. Tomorrow. On the way to Tres Osos.”

“I don’t want somebody else know things about me.”

“I’m not somebody else.”

Then defeated she kissed me on my cheek very deep.

Which reminds me—

 

“You’re the missing piece of the puzzle of my life,” I stated.

“You’re not going to tell her that!”

“Soon as I get her alone.”

“In those exact words?”

“Why not?”

“She’ll laugh in your face.”

“No she won’t. You don’t know her.”

“It’s the kind of sappy line Lamont Carruthers’d make you say.”

“Good. By me that’s a guarantee of quality.”

“She’ll laugh in your face.”

“I belong with Annie and she belongs with me. We go together like peaches and cream.”

“Like pickles and milk.”

This conversation between David Arcash and me went on while we pushed the button a dozen times for the elevator in the Liberty Building. Actors I think can be highly emotional under the heat of a moment pleasure or pain more like little Children than other civilians. Emotion flares up very hot and it passes through in a hurry to make room for the next one.

A blessing in the Skies that came from our argument over Annie was I moved in to my own Apartment where I enjoyed myself living alone but I did endure long nights of Torment. Ideas about Annie returned to my mind they caused me Insomnia something frantic. I shut my eyes & I saw snapshots of how my Life could be with her in a sweet moment on a lawn or fresh coffee & the Sunday paper in the kitchen etc.

Nor this was not a fairy tale to tickle me back to Dream Land for in daylight hours Annie eyed me up sometimes by the drinking fountain e.g. or a curious glance off the page of her Script she obliged me some soft kind of interest. I know it is a easy matter to mix up pity & tenderness also how a wishful person will read into events but I felt some other emotion underneath those glances of hers. Which line of thinking led me back on the track of reckless romance.

This is before the pickles and milk conversation. When Annie’s glances and so on I took were a good sign David was working on Annie for me like a true pal. So before the Broadcast that night that day I went into the Green Room to be by myself for 10 Minutes before the Broadcast and calm my nerves as usual but the sight I got in there fired a jolt of Electricity into me it curled my toes & straightened my hair!

This:

DAVID & ANNIE

MOUTH TO MOUTH

They could pose perfect for the world-famous statue The Kiss by Auguste Rodin.

Annie saw me first. “Oops,” she said and smoothed her skirt and picked up her Script. She had to get past me to get away from that shameful Scene blushing not all embarrassment. She planted a kiss on my cheek. “You’re a sweet one Ray.”

“How do you know?” she got from me.

“I know a thing or two.” Annie clicked her tongue cocked her head and left the pretty cloud of her perfume in the Air.

David’s cloud in the air was talk & more talk. When his lips stopped moving I said, “You never told me what’s what. Shame on you.”

“Because we’re friends,” was his excuse.

I advised him he needed a headshrinker if he believed that. We scrapped back & forth over friendship and Annie also loyalty to somebody else’s Heart. “You’re worse than Lionel Horvath!” I accused him. Every time David spoke to me I made him talk to the back of my head.

“Boy you really don’t get it do you!” David pulled on my arm. “I’ve been protecting your little pink fanny you pisher you!”

“From what? Romancing a great gal?” I mocked. “This gets worse and worse.”

“It’s worse than you think. Annie was going to—I don’t know what—do something terrible to you in public.”

“Hah!”

“Humiliate you.”

“Kish mir in tuchas!”

“Dance on a table in her underwear or tell everybody who you are and what you do. Don’t ask me. I didn’t let her get very far with the idea.” David let out a long breath. “You don’t know how low she can go. How her mind works or what she wants from a guy. You don’t know Annie at all Sport.”

David beseeched me to guess from his statement he was the guy who DID know her very intimate but I did not rise to bite. I played dumb I let him take all the rope he needed to hang himself on the hook of Truth. Let him confess to me. Let him confess how he was all the time wooing Annie behind my back in front of everybody on the show. All the time I nurtured my high hopes for her. Let him confess how he betrayed i.e. how he pledged his Help & stabbed me in the back.

“You talked her out of going on the town with me?”

“Right.”

“Because you’re my friend.”

“That’s right.”

“Ah-ha,” I said and saw the tricky Horvath inside David come out. “You would let Annie take the blame.”

Very stern he said back, “Annie was going to treat you so bad you’d drop her like a hot brick and that’s a fact.”

“Let your own conscience down easy. That’s you all over. Blame somebody else. You got it figured.”

“Don’t make Annie into an angel. She’s my kind of girl. Not yours. This much I know. You don’t well that’s a pity.” David shook his head in sadness. “She came down from heaven? She’s a virgin for crissakes?”

I stopped listening and I told him so.

“And that’s you all over,” he told me off.

“You got it all figured out.”

“I didn’t figure anything besides who we are. That’s how things happen. Life’s a lot more complicated than you think it is.”

Lamont Carruthers for one knew everything about David & Annie’s romantic escapade in the studio so it tickled him silly to write tricky Scenes on purpose for them to play on the show. Between Lionel Horvath & Rosalind Bentley for instance Rosalind falling for his oily charms and Horvath using her for Evil etc. they had to act out these emotions raw & tender on the Airwaves for all to hear.

You can not find a limit on Desire not high or low. Also you will not find a limit on how a person will behave for his own Satisfaction. He will insult he will start rumors plant doubts twist Facts a person will conceal he will double-cross to satisfy his Desire he will betray to be Superior so he can control events & look down on other men. But every Desire & Satisfaction turns into dirt I believe.

 

In the course of Human Events I will tell what happened after I woke up from my nap in Tio’s house now. I did not hear a sound anywhere not outside my bedroom door nor in the kitchen nor not a Voice in the thin air. I thought maybe I slept right through the afternoon but when I went to the downstairs area I felt like a marble rolling around a empty shoe box.

I called Amelia’s name without answer so I decided it was the correct procedure I should investigate. First off in the room where those 30 Mexican boys used to be all there was left of their Presence was the smell in the air from cooked tortillas.

I tippy-toed down the hall over to Amelia’s door I was the Lonely Ghost floating upstairs amid that vacant place. I knocked shave-and-a-haircut but the door was not shut all the way it squeaked upon my touch. Amelia was not in residence. Her bed was made up very tidy as per a hotel her Safari Suit where she hung it in the closet also the bottles & tubes of her makeup on her table as if she fled in the night she did not have time to pack her Belongings. Or she did not need them where she went. One of those or she was coming back soon.

I am busy mulling the above thoughts back & forth in my mind at the same time I am looking through the window down into the street I can see the nose of my Raymobile. Also I see some boys leaning on the hood. One of them drops down & crawls under behind the front wheels. The brown-haired boy stands on my bumper and starts futzing with the hood latch so I bang on the window & shout at them but they refuse to heed my cries.

In 5 Seconds I am out the front door on my way across the street. “You want something with my car?” The brown-hair twists his head around he slides his tushy off the hood & kicks his pal on the foot who is doing some monkey business underneath. They walk away a few steps very casual then they sprint down the sidewalk all the time giving me the finger. If they scratched my paint job or stole a auto part for sure I planned to investigate further who they are & make sure they pay to fix it like new which is fair you will agree.

How much can you get for used spark plugs or a distributor cap or a filthy dirty dipstick? Unless it was just Boyish Mischief. While I am bent over giving my hood a medical examination a Voice pops up behind me.

“No respect for private property is there…” this thin raspy Voice says. I picture it is a neighbor lady but when I turn around to agree with her judgment I see it is not a lady it is Napoleon Bonaparte in a modern suit!

That Napoleon haircut all combed forward toward his round face does not tower very high above Sea Level. I observe the female details of smooth white cheeks & ruby red lips his mouth very small and puffed out. Also I took in his physique his entire Form before me with his hands on his hips showing off tight muscles on his thighs which stretched the pockets on his pants. With a vest & tie & jacket in that heated weather but he did not sweat a drop.

For small talk I said, “I got down here in time.”

“That’s what matters.”

I never feel comfortable around door-to-door salesmen I always end up buying just to get them to shut up & leave me alone so I did not want to encourage him further. I walked back toward Tio’s house & it turned out Napoleon’s shoes were not stuck in the asphalt he decided not to let me off his hook so easy.

“Can I save Fuller Brush some time?” I said. “I can’t really use any household goods today.”

“What about for your car?”

“No thanks!” I waved good-bye. “My wife isn’t home at the minute. You want to talk to her for this.”

“Your wife?”

“She handles all of this business.”

“Yes I would like to talk to your wife. Is she going to be home anytime soon?” We stood on the sidewalk & the pressure of his Spiel pushed me back on the lawn where I dug in my heels. “I’m from Fuller Brush Incorporated,” he said & opened his wallet he flashes me his I.D. chuckling the whole time. A shiny badge shot sunlight in my eyes. “F.B.I.”

I did not need to read the buzzer. On Tio’s lawn there I was standing face to face & toe to toe with John Newberry.

“Just a few Minutes of your time Mr. Green.”

A helpful tactic I thought of in that dire moment was I had to surround myself with law-abiding Citizens i.e. if I stayed in the public eye I was not going to be the victim of any freak accident for instance on the report he writes he found me doing the dishes and a soapy steak knife slips out of my hand and into my chest. “I was just going for a walk in the park.”

“Mind if I walk with you?”

“I’m going for a high colonic first.”

“Oh? Where’s that?”

“First one I see.”

“You’re a stranger to these parts. If you need the name of a doctor I can point you in the right direction.”

“Thanks anyway.”

“What’s that for—a colonic. Some chronic condition?”

“High colonic,” I corrected him.

“Looks like you’re in the pink to me. For a man of your age. What are you—72 or 73 this year?”

A car a Ford or a Chevy one of those I think or a Buick came by & kept up with our slow steps. With a flick from his hand Newberry sent it down the block it cruised around the corner.

“A high colonic gives me added pep,” I said. “You should try it. Maybe you could benefit.”

“Pep!” Newberry laughed very loose & easy. The word tickled him so he tried it out himself. “Pep. I could use more pep. Mr. Green I sure need something.” He slipped a photo out of his jacket pocket & by the way he gave me a glimpse of the gun slung in his shoulder holster and then his conversation & this stroll came down to Earth very hard. He pushed the photo in front of my face so I could not see where I was walking I had to stop & stare at a mug shot of Amelia.

I know the ABC of this business so my first move was DENY. Why should I load ammunition in his guns? I told him “No. I don’t recognize him.”

“Her,” he set me straight. Another photo he showed me & on this one I will admit he pinned me to the mat. I was in that picture I was pumping gas into the Raymobile and Amelia was sitting in the front seat. Another swing of his hand a flick from his fingers and that car came back it parked right in front of us.

When Newberry held the back door open & I saw who was in the driver’s seat a flush of needles & pins went through my arms all the sharp points pushed inside my skin. The big redhead man from the gas station that gunsel from the Citizens Patrols. I recall he said his name was Wayne Feather.

“Get in the car Mr. Green,” Newberry urged me.

I spread my arms & legs out I curled my fingers around the edge of the roof then I locked my knees & elbows. Newberry pushed my back but it did not bend. A housewife came by with her kids in a stroller & her bags of groceries and I kicked up a Scene she was not going to forget in a big hurry. From the top of my lungs I cried, “Oh God! Oh Lord! Please mister! Where’re you taking me? Oh God! What did I do to you!” Etc. very tormented.

“It’s all right.” Newberry flipped his wallet to show her his badge. “F.B.I. Just assisting this gentleman.” Then I felt the snubby nose of his gun barrel nudge me against my Spine. “Don’t be unruly Ray. Show me what a good citizen you are.”

He squeezed in next to me and first thing he said was sorry about the gun. He asked me was I comfortable do I want the Air Conditioner higher or lower but I did not give this Kidnapper the courtesy of conversation. On the freeway he made a Promise he was going to explain all of his reasons as soon as he got me safe & sound in his office. Also I should not be alarmed on account of the presence of Mr. Feather.

“The local C.P. wants to make Wayne the district chairman.” Newberry beamed his honor & pride. “Set a new record for wetback roundups last week. Right Wayne?”

“No kidding.” That was all he got out of me until the off-ramp when he offered me a Life Saver (by accident my favorite Peppermint) which I accepted but did not thank him in the eye. I pondered the question is Newberry going to explain all about the shooting into our motel room? which pondering lasted until the hole was the only part left of my candy.

Besides being the twin brother of Napoleon Bonaparte maybe the F.B.I. hired John Newberry for his Mind Reader skills. He gave me the last Life Saver in the pack and he said, “It’s nothing you should worry about. We’re on the same side.”

Even with the Peppermint Life Saver I doubted it.

All the time Newberry is telling me how his trusted friend & fearless colleague Wayne Feather is involved in Deeds of derring-do and derring-don’t Undercover amid the illegal Citizens Patrols I am observing the decor of his office. Items of a family man also awards & dignified photos. Lies and more lies it hit me & still hits me today.

From his mouth I hear his Friar’s Club Testimonial on Special Agent Feather how he is breaking the C.P.s from the inside. As a White American man of Honor he must go with them on a few foul Deeds. The latest one he was sorry to report was the Surprise Attack on the Bluebird Motel with shotguns. Even if it was risky for him he tried to save our Lives by that phone call from the Manager to get my car so now we are in the Comfort & Safety of his office we can shake hands & be friends.

I did not altogether accept. They both took it the wrong way i.e. bad manners or my rotten temper. To tell you the truth my concentration was wandering over other things. In particular photos on the wall of Newberry shaking hands with famous faces. With President Ronald Reagan. With J. Edgar Hoover. With the Governor of Texas. With Charlton Heston.

Even this did not touch my Heart so deep as all of his personal snapshots in silver frames on his desk. The little boys had Newberry’s flat dark hair & thin eyebrows and I saw from the picture of his Bride where his daughters got their blond tresses. All the people who love him no matter what there they are to remind him all the time. The Innocence he put into the world will balance out his Guilty Deeds or shrink them down he thinks.

“Which is how you got your car fixed so fast. The transmission was completely shot. So you’re welcome for that.”

“Thank you,” I obliged him. “That’s not all that was shot either.”

“Why didn’t Amelia come out to the car with you? She didn’t want to hang around there any longer than she had to.”

“She was in the shower,” I told him flat. Then I raised my Voice. “Why didn’t Mr. Feather here just stop it? Tell those demented maniacs shooting at living people in a motel room is a crime!” Halfway out of my chair my throat muscles tight & pulling me up.

Wayne Feather put on the cool he put on the Calm. “That time it got away from me. I apologize. It happens sometimes. To you too I bet. Things are out of your control.”

“O.K.” Newberry’s Voice cut through the hard Atmosphere in the room. “Thanks Wayne. Thanks for bearing witness.” He nodded & Mr. Feather got the hint he was not required around there for other Testimony. “Send Shelley in,” Newberry told him & to me he said, “We’ll keep it very informal at this stage.”

His secretary Entered fanning her face with a handful of paperwork. “It’s so hot and sweaty out there. The air con’s on the blink again.”

“Cool in here,” Newberry chirped.

“You don’t get the sun on this side. We’re sweating like pigs out there.” She settled down with her notepad but she did not even say Hello to me I was the job on her Agenda before lunch.

“Old business.” Newberry stretched across his desk to hand me a flimsy piece of paper.

I read it over it was a bill for $918.85 it is on my kitchen table in front of me this Moment.

“For the work on your car. You can pay it off in installments if it’s easier Ray.”

“I didn’t expect such a high figure. Didn’t you haggle?”

“Got you a special agency deal. But I can’t let the taxpayers cover your expenses can I?”

I read over the Items on the bill. “Do I get a guarantee with this?”

“Parts,” he snickered. “Labor you’ve got to pony up.” He watched me stuff it into my wallet & he said, “Let’s get a few vital statistics. Full name.”

“You people know it already.”

“Tell Shelley. Of your own free will. That’s the way we do things in the big city.”

“Last name first,” Shelley asked me.

My reply, “Green. Ray.”

“Residing at?”

“You mean now?”

“To what address do you have your mail delivered?”

For informal this was sounding very Formal all of a sudden. “What is this an intelligence test?”

“Only if you fail,” Newberry said.

“My address—I don’t remember the Zip Code.”

“We can look it up,” Shelley informed me.

Out of the fog in the back of my Mind I pulled out the bits & pieces. “My address is—Apt. 8—1819 Pecan St.—Mason in New Mexico. I don’t remember the Zip.”

“Not important,” Newberry allowed me.

“Hair. Gray?” She checked with Newberry not me.

“Silver.” I pointed this plain Fact out very firm also something else: “You can get all this off my driver’s license.” Which I took out of my wallet I handed to Shelley. She did not even glance at it she handed it direct to Newberry.

He eyed it up. “Expired in 1986. You aware of that?” I shrugged. A real hardboiled criminal. “I can get you a brand new one. You don’t even have to take a test. Any state in the Union.” He held onto it for a second & waited for my Answer which he did not get out of me. So he passed my license back to Shelley. “You can take the rest off this.” Which meant Leave Us Alone so she did.

Then Newberry picked up where he left off with me before. “I’ll do you a favor. You do me one. Give and take. Then we’ll get somewhere.”

“I want to get out of here.”

“After we talk.”

“You start.”

“How did you meet Amelia Vasquez?”

This Innocent Question will lead to that Innocent Question & before I know what end is up I reveal already certain pieces of her personal puzzle. Which Newberry will fit together into the Big Picture he will see Amelia’s survival plan so my Duty appeared clear as a Guiding Light before me.

There is a time to Attack and a time to Defend also there is the time when you have to make one of them look like the other. Nor I did not forget that a sworn duty of The Green Ray is I must be the shining example of Truth & Honesty if I am in the company of a cop or a criminal or neither or both. In the company of John Newberry a true answer from me could bring harm befalling upon Amelia ALSO a lie was going to besmudge the character of The Green Ray so while I figured out how to play this for laughter or tears I ad libbed—

“In a Lonely Hearts ad.”

‘Whose ad? Hers?”

“No. I put the ad in.” I lowered my face from him I did not want to look him in the eyes for the part coming up. Very tender I touched a photo of his sons I tried hard to squeeze a tear out to land on it. “They’re beautiful children.”

“Thanks. That’s Joseph and Primo in that picture.”

I touched another picture. “This is their mother?”

“Last time I checked. Her name’s Chantal.”

“French name.”

“Her grandmother’s from there.”

“Where did you meet her?”

Newberry let a beat go by to let me know he did not mind this line of talk but there is a Limit. “In D.C. When I started with the Bureau. She was a clerk in Records.”

“She’s in the F.B.I. too? So I guess it’s twice as hard if you think about two-timing her. I don’t mean disrespect I’m just saying in theory.”

He turned the picture frame away from me. “Chantal quit her job when we got married. Anyway. Your ad in the newspaper. Which newspaper?”

“You get to my age…My entire life I lived alone so far. It hasn’t been terrible. I thought that’s how I liked it then one day I woke up and I recognized something else.” Another big sigh here. “I recognized I’ve just been tolerating. So what the hey I figured. Put a ad in the Examiner.”

“Being lonely’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Who said I was lonely?”

“I’m interpreting.”

“Don’t interpret me please.” I did not plan what I was going to say next which is the Actor’s Secret behind ad libbing so your Audience believes it when it comes out of your mouth. A Actor must go forward and save himself the Woe of going around in the same sad circle. “I’d like to get off the subject now.”

“Let me understand it,” Newberry followed me. “Amelia answered your ad. Then you met her somewhere.”

“We went bowling. We drank a few milkshakes.”

His laugh said he doubted it. “Amelia Vasquez and milkshakes.”

“You know better?”

“We’ve met,” he said. “I know for sure a milkshake isn’t Amelia’s favorite drink.”

I looked over the plaques that decorated his wall with the Certificates of Merit and so on the Official Honors he got for his F.B.I. services. Maybe he is Straight and both of us obey the same Code. If I am plain & true he will be plain & true to me out of Respect. So I asked him no tricks, “Why do you want to know such personal things?”

“To understand what kind of relationship you’ve got with her. I want to know how you’re involved in her business.” He said this all Courtesy but no Respect came after.

“I’m tired Mr. Newberry. I don’t know what’s happening here.” I dropped down in my chair I sank back in my Old Age.

“What did she tell you she was going to Gonzales for? Come on Ray. This is one of the easy ones.”

“We came to Gonzales…So I could meet her uncle…Who is her only living family…Amelia wanted me to meet him…before…” What I came up with on the spot under this Pressure was—“…before we get married.”

“You don’t mind if I say right out—I don’t think so.”

“Jump in a lake.”

“Ray? Are you a millionaire?”

“Me? No.”

“You have a big dick?” (This I did not dignify.) “So what does a woman like Amelia want from a man like you?”

“How do you know what she wants out of life?” I asked him sincere.

He held his thumb & fingers apart like he was holding a sandwich. “I got a file on her this thick. What are you doing with her Ray? Are you her new business partner?”

From a head on Easter Island he would get more information!

“Then what are you?”

“Her protector,” I said. “You did enough harm to her already.”

“What do you think you know?”

“Plenty!”

“I don’t care what kind of twisted crap Amelia Vasquez fed you. I’m going to do you a big favor Ray and forget what I just heard. I advise you to sit back down in that chair. You and I are going to reason together.”

“You going to break my arm for a warning?” I taunted him.

To calm down he went over to the window & dragged in a couple of deep breaths. “Why on earth should you take her word for anything? Why trust Amelia Vasquez instead of me?”

“I met her first.” I was not trying to be a Weisenheimer it was the honest Truth besides—“I don’t have to take her word. I saw things with my own eyes.”

“What would that be?”

“Those dumb gunsels of yours in Mason. How they punched her—”

“Name names.”

“How they threw her in their car—”

“Name me some names!”

“And locked her up in a rat trap in the East 8th and had her helpless. I heard them call you up on the phone so you could come and take her away like a order of sweet & sour pork!”

“You know a name? Or is this more B.S. you got from Amelia?”

“Nilo! You like that one? Perry. You like that one better?”

With his finger in Thinking Position on his sealed lips Newberry backed off very casual. Then a laugh like a Chihuahua bark escaped from his mouth. “What did you call them? My what? My dumb what?”

“Gunsels.”

GUNSELS tickled him harder than PEP did before. “Gunsels.” He smiled over at me my fond friend for sure. “If you want to stay out of serious legal trouble Ray you’ve got to tell me something. And tell me true.” Newberry sat on the edge of his desk 6 Inches away from me. “How did you and Miss Vasquez end up in the same house in Mason?”

“Fate.”

“Believe it Ray. You’re going to tell me true or you’re not going to walk out of here today.”

I do not know by Anatomy but by my experience the Human Conscience must live in the rear lobes of the brain because that is where I felt the pressure building up. Same as the pressure in my stomach when I forget to eat lunch or on my eyes when I suffer some Insomnia. That kind of thing or pressure on my groin I can not relieve unless I push. I can eat a sandwich & satisfy my stomach I can take a snooze & ease my eyes. If I want to satisfy my Conscience I must Defy. Newberry is a pervert of the Law he uses the F.B.I. for camouflage so he disguises his rotten intentions mainly. I believe he made Amelia a personal Item on his list so my duty was the pressure of my Conscience to defy & defend and this forced out of me the Voice of The Green Ray—

 

ME: If I took heat from Lionel Horvath I can take it from you.

NEWBERRY: I’m about an inch away from arresting you Ray. Who’s Lionel Horvath?

ME: You can’t arrest me! J. Edgar Hoover presented me the key to the city!

NEWBERRY: Sit back down. This business isn’t concluded yet.

ME: I’ve had too much of you for one day Newberry. You bush leaguer.

 

I had my hand on the door but the next cold blast out of his mouth froze me on the spot.

 

NEWBERRY: Are you aware of the immigration laws of this country?

ME: I’m twice the American you are.

NEWBERRY: Did I touch a nerve?

ME: I’m still here.

NEWBERRY: Yes you are. And before I let you go you’re going to tell me what you’re doing with Amelia Vasquez.

ME: I’ll stand up to you and a dozen like you! Justice makes all men equal and you’re going to be around to see criminals who cower behind the false fronts of law-abiding citizens bow down to cleanse the soiled garments of those whom they trod in the dirt!

 

I was shaking my finger at him when I recited those words I felt the Blood shaking my ribs loose. Newberry did not come up with a smart line back I think I surprised him by my Fury. He shook his head only & punched the button on his phone to call his secretary. The whole time he waited for her to answer his beckon call he kept his eyes on me. Then on the other side of the glass door Shelley picked up her phone.

 

NEWBERRY: Conference room! Take him down!

 

In the Reader’s Digest I saw a artist’s impression of a Conference Room it had a walnut table in it with individual lamps for each chair maybe a dozen chairs. In the picture window behind was the skyline of Manhattan roofs of skyscrapers near & far since this was a illustration next to a Story behind the Scenes of High Finance. I will say the Conference Room he put me in did not measure up to the name the word BUNKER is a closer description.

Cement walls they gave a coat of white paint which did not cheer the place up. No walnut table a bridge table & 2 chairs nor they did not decorate with any individual lamps either just the fluorescent one on the ceiling. I folded my hands on the table & it teeter-tottered so while I waited I got underneath with a folded-up business card from my dry cleaners and made the short leg even. When I was down there I noticed in the middle of the floor a drain which hit me very peculiar. What do they need to hose down after a Conference?

For escape it was a worse Predicament than the notorious Chinese Box Room where they imprisoned me with water leaking in up to my neck in The Adventure Of Emperor Zero when I fought against a nest of Japanese spies & suicide saboteurs in Santa Monica by the Pacific Ocean during the dark days of World War 2. So the drain in the floor calmed me down since no water could enflood me there not even as far as my ankles.

I hereby confess it did steam me i.e. the bare Fact I was at John Newberry’s mercy how I let him box me in to this Dead End. This nickel & dime Napoleon who beturds his Badge with his crooked morals & sneaky behavior what am I doing waiting on his hand & foot? No I did not need a nap to think about it fresh—by my own Free Will I yanked open the door then there I was cheek to cheek with Not-So-Special Agent Newberry again!

A cardboard tray got crushed between us and he juggled it and stopped the sandwiches & beverages etc. from spilling all over. “Careful,” he said, “or you’ll miss out on a free lunch.” Mr. Cheerful he was now smiles all over. “Break bread with me Ray. Boloney and cheese or tuna salad?”

So escape was off the menu also I figured Food = Strength so I pretended I caved in in case the moment came when I had to slug it out with him. “I’ll break boloney.”

Maybe this occurs to you likewise as it did to me—So what is it going to hurt if I stick around for a bite & by sly conversation I find out why Newberry wants to treat me with fond Affection—

The plastic wrapper on my sandwich had its own ideas about its Purpose in the world it fought hard to keep this particular boloney & cheese out of the grip of Human teeth. Newberry reached his open hand across the table. “Let me help you with that.” In a flash he flipped open a silver cutthroat Razor. So smooth & sharp he did not disturb even a lettuce leaf. He tilted the handle so I could admire. “Heirloom,” he said & showed me the painting of a racehorse running down the ivory. “My grandfather gave it to my dad. My dad gave it to me. When I graduated from the Academy.” After my eyeful he folded it up & dropped it back in his side pocket. “I found out something about you.”

“Not bad,” I said i.e. the enjoyable sandwich.

Newberry slid a Xerox page over he nudged my fingertips with it. A page from the Classified Section of the Mason Examiner with a red circle around the ad I put in. “How come ‘Peter Tremayne’?”

“So now you know who you’re up against.”

“You’ve got a piece of boloney stuck in your teeth Ray.” While I poked around my Canines he spoke to me very sincere. “It looks completely innocent on your part. I hoped as much.”

I pulled my lips back to show him my pearly whites. “Did I get it?”

“No. It’s still there.”

“You have to guide me in.”

“Left a little. No—your left. Got it.”

I speared the tiny ball of boloney a Specimen to examine. “Look at that,” I observed. “What’s the yellow in it? Fat?”

Newberry pulled me back to the Topic of the Day. “Tell me what Amelia told you about the trouble she’s in. I’m sure I can help.”

“You don’t want to help her.”

“No sir I don’t,” he said. “I want to help you.”

“I’m fine thanks.”

“You’re going to have to tell me how I get you to trust me on this. Amelia Vasquez is a dangerous woman. She can be vicious. I’ve been able to keep you from getting hurt so far but my hands are tied now if I don’t know what she’s going to do next.”

“I don’t know,” I answered him truly.

“If she goes to Mexico—well—there’s a limit to how much I can do in a hurry. You’ll be on your own with her.” He leaned back & broke open a pack of Dentine gum. He chewed a stick very slow before he asked me, “Did she get you to go to bed with her?”

“A gentleman does not ask. A gentleman does not answer.”

“I guess there’s only one gentleman in the room.” He soft-soaped me with apologies. “I just want to solve this thing Ray. What I was thinking—I was thinking pillow talk. When your defenses are down she could drip some poison in your ear. She’s a clever girl. Sharp instincts. She thinks ahead.”

This was not exactly Perfume he was pouring in my ear either. If I listened between Newberry’s lines I could hear the echo of his inner thoughts I could find out how he was plotting against us. “What are you talking about poison?”

“Lies about the kind of trouble she’s in. Lies about me.” He twirled his fingers by his head to show me he can pull a good Example out of the Air. “In case I got to you she’d assassinate my character. Make it very hard for me to convince you otherwise.”

“I try to keep a open mind about people.”

“Including Amelia?”

“To me it looks like she needs my help more than you.”

“That worries me.”

“I hope so.”

“Play fair,” he said. “What did she tell you about me? Give me a chance to defend myself. Listen I know how it is. You’re with a woman. She says anything to you and it’s hard to believe she’d tell you anything that isn’t true. That she’d hide anything from you since the two of you are lying there naked in bed and you can see every mole on her. Every hair. Man! You know how she smells. She doesn’t try to hide any part of her so it doesn’t occur to you she’d want to hide anything else.” Newberry clammed up his lips pinched tight. “Believe me. I know what I’m talking about.”

“What are you talking about may I ask?”

“I might as well be married to Amelia Vasquez. I know more about her than I do about any other fugitive. Every night for the last 6 years—since I’ve been on this case—she’s the last thing I think about before I fall asleep. In the morning her file is the first thing I see on my desk. I’m sick of looking at it. I’m this far away”—he showed me a small measurement between his finger & thumb—“from closing this out. I don’t want to get sick of looking at a file on you.”

“Can I have a stick of Dentine?”

Disgust from him! He threw the pack at me so I took 2 sticks one for later & one I chewed in front of him. “I’ve been with the Bureau for ten years. I take home around $2250 a month if I can snag the overtime. I have a wife who can’t work because she’s got to take care of four kids. You said something about justice in my office. In my office you gave me that graduation speech and to be honest Ray it really pissed me off. For your information I didn’t go through Quantico because of the terrific salary. Laugh if you want to but I had the idea that our country is a great place to live. Of all the opportunities on the shelf I picked this one—”

Newberry slapped his Badge on the table. Then he kept going. “And now I’m somebody who protects your right to make a hundred million dollars from fried chicken or porno movies or whatever. Any opportunity you can name I’m protecting it for 2250 and change. But hey. I’m not complaining. There’s a reward to it. Sure. When I sweep a hustler like Amelia Vasquez off the streets! Somebody who turns a decent opportunity upside-down and shakes it to see what falls out of its pockets.”

To demonstrate this ugly Deed he shook out his own pockets which move I think led him to his cutthroat razor he rolled it over & over in his palm. Then here is what I get from him: “I’m selfish. I admit it. If I do my job my kids benefit. There’s a roof over their head and food in their belly. And they see justice is actually a reality sometimes. Same thing my dad did for me.”

For a 4th of July speech he did not rehearse this was not bad Material but I did miss the choir singing “America the Beautiful” behind him which in my professional opinion would add the correct note of emotion to his Grand Finale. Who did he think he was kidding with this schmaltz!

“Your father,” I asked Newberry, “he’s still alive?”

“He’s back in D.C.”

“Retired?”

“Not yet. He’s 63.”

“My car is a ’63.”

“It’s in good shape.”

“Where does he work your father?”

“Dad’s with the Bureau. For his 40th last year,” Newberry said a little sour, “the President gave him a crystal punch bowl.” He twitched his neck. “I’m proud of my dad.”

“He’s proud of his boy I bet.”

“I’m sure he is.”

“God forbid he ever finds out how you hound and harm people.”

“Now wait—”

My fire & fury did NOT wait! “How he made such a low animal come into the world! Kidnapping a nice girl—and me too besides—his hired gunsels throwing us in a dirty room—”

“Hold it right there. Hold on a goddamned minute—”

“Perry with the dogs and the disgusting licking! Locked inside against our wishes! Calling you!”

“How the hell would you know that?”

“I figured the whole thing out.” He wanted True he got True.

“Well. If you’re doing your figuring from the incredible garbage Amelia wants you to believe you’re way off in left field. You’re over the fence. In the parking lot.”

“A home run.”

“One ton of 100% B.S.” He sat down very stern. He said to himself “Lies and Looney Tunes.” Then Newberry said, “Listen to me. For your sake and mine I’m going to comb out this plate of spaghetti. Did Amelia tell you how she makes a living? There aren’t a whole lot of careers in Mexico a woman can go into and bring home the kind of paycheck Amelia does.” He gave me a look like a bird looks at a bug. “You don’t have any idea?”

“I believe she’s in the nightclub business.”

Full of force he said, “Amelia runs Mexican illegals across the border. They pay her money you understand me Ray? The house you’re staying in that’s her safe house for the muchachos she smuggles into Texas. You met a man there—plump guy in his 50s—a guy she calls Tio? Looks like the Frito Bandito and talks like a Bubba?”

My fast judgment from the way Tio made me my breakfast & the kind way he treated Amelia made me Deny. “No. I didn’t meet anybody of that description.”

“Doesn’t matter. Amelia started out as a mule. One of Tio’s girl scouts who led his clients across the border a few at a time. By 1980 she was doing business from dozens of places in Mexico. Running them across in Texas all around the Rio Bravo. In New Mexico between Deming and Mason. Various places in Arizona. She put a bankroll together and turned into what we call a sponsor. Pays off the Federales and she’s got paid help this side. Half the mules down there work for Amelia Vasquez. I wish I could brag about my brilliant fieldwork but when I got this assignment my dad sat me on his knee gave me a piece of advice: bust her then give her a job.”

My mind worked on this. “What? Tour guide?”

“Pay attention. Amelia isn’t the only sponsor south of the border. She’s got plenty of competition. So we cut a deal. Whenever any of the other guys were plump and ripe she’d set them up for me. She knows how to do that—convince men to trust her. And she’s stayed in business for a bunch of years so you can guess how smart she is.”

“What’s her trick?”

Newberry frowned at me man to man. “Anyway now it’s all different. The arrangement isn’t working out anymore.”

“For you or for Amelia?”

“It’s the bastard citizens patrols. Maybe you heard about the dead illegals turning up in the desert lately? Not your ordinary wetbacks. They’re mules. Agent Feather informs me the C.P.s are working their way through the families. They’ll get to the sponsors. The Money in the right Federale hand and they’ll get to Amelia. If you’re with her when they catch up she’ll toss you overboard like a sandbag out of a hot-air balloon. Listen Ray. I can bring her in myself before she crosses the border. Otherwise like I told you—there’s a limit to how much help I can be. I don’t want to choose between saving your ass and exposing Agent Feather. Now I like you Ray and I respect you but there’s no contest.”

“I promised Amelia.” I did not want to sound feeble so I said, “I have to protect her.”

“Good. You own a gun?”

I pointed at him. “Protect her from you.”

“How you plan to do that?”

“I have to think about everything.” Ergo Newberry accomplished what he wanted i.e. he planted a Doubt about Amelia in me. “Show me proof.”

Newberry sucked his lips & he pondered this. “Give me till tomorrow. I’ll let you browse through Amelia’s file.”

“Do I have to come back here?”

He pondered again. “Didn’t you say you wanted to see a doctor about something?”

“A high colonic.”

“Look. We use a clinic a few blocks from here.” He scratched the address on a scrap of paper. “Can you read my writing?”

“Arroyo Seco Medical,” I read it out. “Only certain qualified practitioners do colonics.”

“They do everything there.”

“O.K. then. Make the appointment.”

“It’ll be with Dr. Epps. Let’s say nine o’clock tomorrow morning.”

“Dr. Epps. He’s got a first name?”

“Barry. When you get into the examining room one of the nurses will bring you the file. Lie back. Enjoy your high colonic—”

“You lie on your side.”

“Whatever. You can have the file for an hour. Don’t remove it from the room. Give it back to the same nurse when you leave.”

I heard my Voice enter the place from far away. “She only wants to go back to Mexico and live a quiet life.”

“That just isn’t possible anymore.” His Final Words on the subject & he held the door open for me. “You convince her.”

I sat still I did not jump to his Invitation. “Can I sit here by myself for a minute?”

He checked his watch. “Take a minute.”

“Will you switch the light off please?”

When the dark hit the room and Newberry let the door hush shut behind him the Silence rushed in on me it fell from the ceiling on top of my aching head. The same Sound of my Radio when it blows a tube. I know the Show is still going on but I do not hear it I can not hear what is flowing on the Airwaves. So this kind of quiet all of a sudden made me very jumpy & I did not sit & stew anymore I made a move I opened the door.

Pipes & boilers motors & vents & plumbing filled up this basement I did not remember exactly which way to the Exit. I followed the pipes they led me over to the boilers then I followed the vents they led me back to the pipes. I made a circle between the boilers & the motors so I followed the vents from there back to the pipes to the Conference Room. What did I have to do to get myself out of this? Did I have to sit down Helpless until he came back to get me? I did not wait for another tick of the clock I had to admit this was my only way out so I called him but not very loud—

“Newberry?”

By the time I got back to Tio’s I did not feel a Cramp in my head anymore no it was a ball of snakes there which hatched out where my calm Mind used to be. I did not know heads or tails with them hissing & slinking in & out of each other I did not know Truth or Consequences with Amelia—if she is Innocent & Mexican and she did not come back to meet me at Tio’s because of a tip-off and now she is on her way South of the Border—or if she is Guilty and she used me a dumb Decoy for her so she could shake Newberry and get to the Bank and go home to her hideaway.

All of my doubts curled around this ball of snakes. AM I HER CHAMP OR AM I HER CHUMP? Even when I put on my clean pajamas it did not help lower the pressure my eyes ached hard even from the weak light around the window. So I covered my face in my hands which was not enough either because through my fingers I saw Tio’s bedroom expanding—I was in the middle of the Big Bang with everything flying apart from me. The floor dropped under my feet—the clothes closet took off backwards—the steer horns went spinning up to dark Space—the dark Space came spinning down around me it faded out all the Light in the room. Then I could not feel any Breath in my chest nor not any bodily feeling either. I did doubt my Senses except I watched the edges of the ceiling crack & show the Star Light beyond and that was my last view before I blacked out on Tio’s bed.

Some snooze I took! I can not tell you how long I was knocked out but I woke up in the dark. For a minute I did not recognize my whereabouts but from the smell beside me different Information came in it was Amelia asleep in bed with me. She kept her hand on my arm sizing up my muscle and her cheek she dug in right above it. I scooched up to stretch my back which move shook her awake.

“Qué es?” Her Voice came out jumpy.

Mine was soft in reply. “What’s going on?”

Amelia pulled her pillow down to her stomach & doubled over it she spoke Español to the mattress & hauled herself back on her knees. “I scared you. I’m sorry Ray.”

“Surprised me. Didn’t scare me.”

“You want me to go ’way?” She unwrapped from the blanket & I saw what she was wearing to sleep in only a T-shirt on top of my Bermuda shorts.

She turned around to leave me alone but before her feet hit the floor I said her name & stopped her going farther. “What’s going on?”

“What is?” she asked me too with her head cocked back. “Where you go all day?”

“Looking for a doctor. I need my regular treatment before Mexico.”

So this made her relax somewhat & she gave out with a flash of news. “I wait for you here in the afternoon but you didn’t come for a long time. I looked for you.”

“It’s hard to find a doctor who’ll do it. I got lost on the way back.”

“You didn’t go in your car. The Raymobile here but no Ray,” she fretted at me. “Not a good part of town here.”

“Did you get your business done at the bank?”

“Sí sí. Sure. He have things ready for me tomorrow.” Amelia rocked herself off the bed she stood up almost bent over a weight on her back pressed her. “Thirsty,” her parting word.

And back in a few Minutes with 2 glasses of pink lemonade (canned i.e. the Concentrate) and she handed me a glass at the same time she drank hers all down. “Not so good like yours.” She frowned at it.

I sipped a few sips then I Agreed with her. “You can always tell the canned.”

She bent down & hugged me. “You give me a ride to the bank in the morning first. Then Ojinaga.”

“My doctor appointment’s at 9 A.M.”

“I can go with you O.K.?”

“You don’t want to do that,” I said very concerned. “You go to the bank when I go to the doctor’s. I’ll meet you after.”

Amelia let her hands drop on top of mine. I did not notice before how round & plump or how they looked like they belonged on a little girl. Maybe she knew what I was thinking because she squeezed my index finger & held on to it. I believe this is a Reflex Action for a small baby for it arouses the Desire to Protect in the heart of the adult on the receiving end.

Nor I did not Resist it I squeezed in return. From sitting next to me on the side of the bed she got the Confidence to hug me once again to lay her head on my chest. “You know the big supermarket we passed? A few blocks from here?” I felt her head nod yes. “How about you wait in back of it. Where they pick up the trash.” She nodded yes again. “Around 10:30 all right?”

My plan was a Safety Net. No matter how tough things turned out after my High Colonic—if Amelia was a Innocent Victim of a dishonest G-Man then I could save her because I knew where she was but John Newberry did not—or if She was the Guilty party then likewise but I had the power to lead the G-Men straight to her gate.

“When I came home I see you esleep in bed,” she told me. “I try an’ go esleep in my room but…” Amelia brushed the loose hair out of her face she kept her hand over her eyes. “I got scared by myself.”

“You should’ve woke me up.”

“I scared you hm?” Some mischief in her Voice this time.

“When did you come in here?”

“I stay away all day. I think maybe John Newberry watches Tio’s house.”

Her face outside was strong then a tremble went across it underneath. “You can stay here if you’re nervous in the other room.”

She pressed very close she snuggled up to me nor she did not hold still. Her leg moved over my legs so I did not hold still either I gave her a pat-pat on her back.

“Ray?” she said only then I held my Breath I did not move a muscle in any direction. Not even when she stretched over to kiss me on my chin & she held the side of my face in her hand.

“Amelia?”

She lowered herself then I felt her Bosoms press down flat on my chest and her legs spread open like a Bow & my stiff legs for her Arrow. “Mm,” she went rocking with her hips but I did not know did I bring this on her or did she do this by herself?

Her mouth traveled around to my ear lobe and small kisses she planted over my face across my mouth still I did not pucker up for her but this did not Discourage her. She went lower with her Kisses down my neck down my chest she unbuttoned my p.j.’s with her lips & teeth a button at a time lower & lower she shimmied down me. Then she Nibbled around the waistband of my p.j. bottoms.

I choked on my words I could not force my Question out of my throat. “Ooh-hoo,” I only said.

“Mm…mm…”

Amelia’s bare Bosoms I felt on my bare stomach drawing circles there out of the bottom of her T-shirt they fell & with one of her hands she pulled her T-shirt off & with her other hand she untied my p.j.’s. I will say this scared me stiff for I was almost in her Power. Her fingers on the waistband she pulled my pants down & then my Desire was I wanted to Fold Up under the blanket under the bed under the floor under the ground but I did not yell Stop. I did something else when she slinked her hand between my legs.

“Where are you?” she breathed these words.

I was there & there I was waiting for her to find me! Not a weakling not a softling either a little soldier! STAND TALL LITTLE SOLDIER! But he was not standing Tall he was standing Short hiding behind Amelia’s pinky finger.

She did not say a embarrassing word she kissed me there. I saw the copper desert of her back roll side & side I locked my eyes on that & my thoughts on Baseball but also I had to watch her lips close around me so now I know how Amelia looks when she puts on her lipstick I know how the lipstick feels.

“Please don’t do that,” I begged her. “No por favor.” I pushed very firm on her shoulders which encouraged her going “mm-mm” until I pushed one more time & her face came up like the full moon over a desert valley.

“No more,” I winced at her.

She knew why I did not want this Attention. “He’s cute.” She wanted to tease me & ease me & lowered down to kiss me again.