Chapter Thirty
The sun was going down and Roderick Harrison’s dinner was still being kept warm in a tinfoil cocoon in the oven. Douglas was unconcerned. His father could be fixing fences on the far side of the sprawling ranch. Could be tending a cow with a problem, or searching for a calf. Could be in town having a beer or two and losing a game of pool to Varley. The Alzheimer’s continued to be in some sort of remission, and his father had simply resumed his old life.
Must be fucking nice, Douglas thought bitterly. Meanwhile his own life had been turned completely inside out. And no amount of Jack Daniels could stop his father’s words from replaying in his mind. She left us for one of them. She left us to become one of them.
His mother had loved a werewolf. He didn’t doubt their existence, he couldn’t, not after what he’d seen when he was fourteen. And he didn’t doubt that his father hated werewolves, certainly wouldn’t declare that his own wife had been with one unless it was true. Roderick had never uttered such a thing even when the Alzheimer’s was particularly bad. Nor had he ever once said Douglas wasn’t his son. Oh sure, he’d looked straight at him and not recognized him, even mistook him for an employee on several occasions. But there was a big difference between that and saying he didn’t have a son at all.
So whose son was he? Did having a werewolf father make him a werewolf too? Would he know? He stared at the photo on the mantel, at the smiling woman with curly auburn hair. His hair. He shared that feature with her, shared the amber brown eyes and the shape of the face, even the damn freckles. What had he inherited from his unknown father? A talent for howling at the moon? Tearing out the throats of deer?
He ran a hand over his face, rubbed his eyes as if trying to erase that particular vision. Knowing Roderick Harrison, Douglas found it hard to blame his mother for having an affair. But why the hell couldn’t she have chosen a human lover? At least he’d only have to wonder who he was, not what he was.
The coffee pot shook in his hand, scattering droplets. Finally he set it down and gripped the edge of the counter to steady himself. He yawned hugely, helplessly, until he thought his head would split in two. In spite of all the drinking he’d done recently, he’d slept poorly. Every time he nodded off, he’d dreamed of wolves. Only he wasn’t being chased by them.
He was running with them.
He jerked when the phone rang, swore as he grabbed the receiver. Varley was on the other end.
“Your dad there, Dougie?”
“No.”
“You know where he is?”
“Not a clue.” Frankly he’d flat-out avoided the old man since that little revelation in the living room. Didn’t know if he simply never wanted to see his father again or just not right now. Douglas had questions, lots of questions—but would the answers be worse than not knowing? And could he trust an answer from his father? His stepfather, he amended quickly.
“Look, two of the rifles are missing from my place. Your father’s favorites, the Browning and the Remington. Some boxes of cartridges. He say anything to you about hunting?”
Dad’s got a gun? Douglas forced his voice to be calm. “Not really. Said he found wolf tracks in the north section a few days ago but never mentioned anything about going after them.”
“Shit.” Varley was silent for a long moment until Douglas wondered if he’d hung up. “Shitfire. I know Rod’s doing really well and all, but I just don’t like the idea of him wandering around with a goddamn gun. Christ on crutches, Dougie. We both know he could have a relapse at any time, but he could also have an accident just because he’s old and he’s by himself.”
“You’re right.” He said what he was expected to say then, although he didn’t feel like it. “I’ll go look for him.”
“Good man. I’m going to get a couple of the guys to help me check the woods on the other side of the north pasture. Keep me posted, okay?”
“You got it. Thanks for the call.” Douglas put the phone down carefully, his pulse pounding in his ears. “Thanks for the call, my ass!” Every instinct he possessed told him that his worst nightmare had just come true. Roderick Harrison wasn’t hunting wolves at all.
He was hunting werewolves.
The sound of the back door slamming made him jump. He was even more surprised when his father came through the kitchen door and laid a quarter of venison on the counter with a flourish.
“Got a nice young buck, down along the line of spruce in the south pasture. Thought it was about time we had some game on the table. Varley around?”
“He’s out looking for you. North section by the woods. He was . . . figuring you might need a hand with whatever you got,” Douglas lied a little. He heard his father’s words, saw the deer—but it didn’t feel right, something was off. “You can call him on his cell.”
Rod was in a buoyant mood as he picked up the phone. He arranged for Varley to swing by the house and pick him up, called for another hand to set up the table and the meat saw in the machine shed. Argued amiably over whether to do sausage or hamburger after they cut off some steaks, whether to use plastic wrap or butcher’s paper.
Within a few minutes, Douglas was left standing alone in the kitchen staring at the bloody spot on the counter. Rod had taken the quarter with him to trim down and package.
All normal. All ordinary. Everything just as it had always been. Except Douglas’s gut said it wasn’t. He sighed and poured half a cup of coffee, topped it up with the Jack Daniels he had stashed in the bottom cupboard. Considered drinking it.
Then poured it down the sink.
 
“It’s brilliant.” Connor spread out the sketches on the table in the lunchroom. “The design isn’t just great, it’s absolutely brilliant. Jillian drew these?”
“She did.” There was pride in James’s voice. “This is her dream, and she’s been designing it for years in her head. I just encouraged her to put it on paper.”
“She has an amazing grasp of how wild animals think, what they need to feel secure. Look at how there are no corners, no hard angles. It’s—what’s the word I’m looking for?—organic, flowing. I’ve never seen anything like it. You didn’t help?”
“A couple small tweaks, just recommendations really. She did it all, created something incredible.”
She’s done more than that. She’s worked a miracle. Connor shielded his thoughts as he looked at his brother. James was relaxed, easy in his own skin. His human skin. And happy. Connor had to look back a lot of years to remember his brother happy.
And as for Jillian, well, she seemed to be floating on air. Glowing since he’d finally consented to let her résumé work part-time. Officially at least. He knew full well she’d been doing little things for Birkie and Caroline when he wasn’t looking, everything from running lab tests to updating files. At first Connor tried to talk Jillian into manning the reception area for half days. She was so horrified by the prospect that he had relented at once. What had he been thinking? Jillian was too good a veterinarian to be tied to a desk. Instead, he relegated the small animal surgeries to her. Besides, considering some of the customers that came through the front door, surgery was probably a lot less stressful for her.
Jillian appeared in the doorway just then, still dressed in her greens. Connor watched as James swept her under his arm and kissed the top of her head. Both of them smiled and Connor’s eyes moistened unexpectedly. “Finished in surgery already?” he managed.
“There were only a couple of spays today. And I removed a lump from Poodle’s leg.”
“That old Siamese? Good God, he must have used up eight and three-quarters of his nine lives by now.” Connor shook his head.
“Poodle?” James looked baffled.
“It’s his name,” explained Jillian. “Kind of like the old Mr. Magoo cartoons. Remember his cat was named Bowser?”
“I thought that was because he couldn’t see it was a cat. Maybe Mrs. Malkinson has the same problem.”
Birkie joined the conversation from the hallway. “Enid Malkinson can identify a finch in a bush at a hundred yards. She wanted a poodle for her birthday one year, but her husband gave her a kitten instead.”
“And the rest is history,” said Connor. “A lot of history actually. That was what, two husbands and three decades ago? Poodle’s a genuine antique.”
“Speaking of antiques, bossman, I’ve got a couple of overdue accounts I need you to look at.” Birkie headed back to the front.
“I hate numbers,” Connor grumbled but followed her.
Jillian could still hear the sound of retreating footsteps when James began placing soft tender kisses on her throat, her ear, along her jaw. He took her mouth slowly and sweetly until she lost her breath and had to pull back, one hand planted on his chest to keep him at bay. “You make me dizzy.”
“I could make you more than that. Let’s go back to your apartment.” He leaned in to kiss her again, but she dodged and fled to the other side of the table, laughing. She spotted the sketches.
“Hey, these are mine.”
“I was showing Connor the design for the center. He thinks it’s great.”
“He’s okay with the location? What about Zoey? Is it too close to their farm?”
“We own the farm together, and no, he doesn’t think it’s too close and I’m sure Zoey will agree when she sees the plans. We already owned the section of river valley that borders the farm. But I bought this land adjacent to it not long ago, thought it might come in handy.” He grinned then. “And see? It already has.”
“You have great powers of prediction.”
“I can predict more. I can predict that you’re going to move in with me today.”
“You predicted that yesterday and it didn’t happen.”
“But that was then and this is now. Come home with me.”
She shook her head. “I want a little more time. I’m thrilled to be working, even a little. I need to be working. But my energy doesn’t last, and I’m just as thrilled to be able to be home in bed in thirty seconds flat. Plus I don’t have to cook a single thing. I swear Bill and Jessie have doubled the amount of food they stock this fridge with.”
“Feed a concussion, starve a fever?” He circled the table and slid his arms around her, planting a tender kiss on her forehead. “I admit, you look tired out, honey. Wish I could kiss your concussion better for you.”
“It is getting better. It just takes time.”
“I shouldn’t be so impatient. It’s just that I want you with me, want to get started on that life together.”
She sat in the chair he pulled out for her, was silent for a long moment. “I think we’ve started already.”
“Well, I spend the night here.”
“No, more than that. I mean . . . James, I’m pregnant.”
Stunned, he knelt awkwardly in front of her and took her hands, his eyes searching her face.
“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, James, I don’t know how it happened—well I know how it happened—but I take the pill for God’s sake. I’ve never missed taking it, never. Not once.” She put her hands to her head. “I tested twice to be sure, yesterday and today, but it’s positive. I’m just so sorry.”
He placed a finger over her lips. “Stop right there. Stop saying you’re sorry; you’ve got nothing to be sorry about. You didn’t do this. I should be apologizing to you.”
“I guess we did it, really. Both of us together.”
“Okay. When did we do it? I mean, how long?”
“It has to have been the very first time we were together. In the forest. I thought I was late because of the accident, thought maybe the concussion had, you know, thrown off my system or some darn thing, but . . . oh, I never expected this.”
“Well, it’s a surprise, but as surprises go, it’s a pretty great one.”
“What?”
He wrapped his arms around her, pulled her down into his lap and kissed her hair, her brow, her cheeks. “It’s great. Wonderful. Fantastic. Terrific. Um . . . I can’t even think of enough words, but it’s definitely great.”
She grabbed his face then, made him look at her. “You’re happy about it?”
“Didn’t you hear what I just said? Hell, yes, I’m happy about it.” He pulled back a little to look at her. “What about you? Are you okay with this?”
“Well, like you said, it’s a surprise. A big one. I . . . I don’t know how I feel yet. I need some time to wrap my head around it, and I need to figure out how to fit it in with being a veterinarian.”
He pointed a stern finger at her. “No steer wrestling.”
“Definitely no steer wrestling. I’ll have to modify a lot of my activities. And see, I just don’t know how that’ll impact my job.”
“Jeez, you’re worried about your job? You belong here. You’ve had a concussion for weeks and the clinic didn’t fall down. Everyone pulled together, and you’re doing what you can. You did, what, three surgeries this morning?”
“Yeah, but they were just little ones. There’s an end to a concussion. I get better and people don’t have to take up slack for me, everything’s back to normal. At least, that’s what’s supposed to happen.”
“Pregnancy’s not a permanent condition, honey.”
“No, but being a parent is.”
“You wouldn’t be the first veterinarian with a family.” James tucked her head under his chin, breathed in the smell of her hair. “There’s going to be challenges, but we’ll figure it out as we go. Why don’t we start by getting married?”
“You don’t have to marry me.”
“What the hell did you think I was planning to do? Haven’t you heard anything I’ve said about building a life together? Haven’t I pestered you every day for two weeks to move in with me?”
“It’s not the same—”
“Jillian.” He lifted her chin with a finger until her eyes met his. “I’m sorry if I haven’t been clear enough. You shouldn’t have a single moment of concern as to my feelings or my intentions. I love you. I’m not easy to love or to live with, but I’m just selfish enough to want to marry you anyway. I want to live with you in a home in the country and build a wildlife center and fill it up with deer and wolves and foxes and owls.”
“Moose, too. Sometimes we get moose.”
“And especially moose. Am I being clear enough now?”
“I think maybe I’m starting to get the picture.”
He took her lips, softly, gently. Kissed her until she moaned low in her throat. “Is that a yes I hear?”
“Mmmmm—yes. Hey! Stop!”
He had scooped her up and was heading down the hall. “First things first. You’re tired, you need to lie down. I’ll bet you haven’t had breakfast either, and it’s already time for lunch.”
“You’re going to be a real pain about this, aren’t you?”
He paused in front of her door until she reached down and opened it. Swung her inside. “You bet. I’m going to make your life miserable, and I’m going to begin by making you something to eat.” He set her carefully on the edge of the bed, stood back and looked at her with concern. “I should have asked. Are you feeling okay? Are you sick or anything?”
“I’m not throwing up in the mornings. Although I have to wonder how much of the nausea I’ve had since the accident was due to the concussion and how much was because I’m pregnant.” She covered her lips with her fingers on that last word. “God, I’m not used to saying that yet. It feels weird. Kind of scary. Okay, a lot scary. This is really going to change my life.”
Our life,” he corrected and sat beside her, gathered her under one arm. “But we’ll be okay. It’s sooner than we might have planned, but what’s that plaque on Birkie’s desk say? The one with the John Lennon quote on it.”
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
“See? This is unexpected, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good thing.” He kissed the top of her head. “A wonderful thing. We’ll raise this child right in the midst of all those animals we rescue. Not to mention we’ve already got three ponies and a dozen dogs for him on the farm. That’s a pretty good life for a kid, don’t you think?”
She hugged him tightly then, unable to speak, and held on for a long time.