Chapter
Twenty-nine
Jillian automatically slapped the alarm into
silence. The clock read 6:00 A.M., but it
was Sunday. She didn’t have to get up. Of course, she hadn’t had to
get up for a long time, but she was naturally a morning person, and
she liked the routine. If you sleep in, you miss
things. Like the scents of dew-laden fields drifting in the
open window. Like naked men in her bed. James was facing the
window, but she could hear him breathing deep and steady. Felt the
heat radiate from his skin. He was on top of the blankets, and she
allowed her eyes to rove over his body, study the shapes of muscle,
the lines and angles of his powerful frame. He looked delicious.
Tingling warmth blossomed low in her core and she fantasized about
kissing every square inch of James Macleod.
God, she felt good. Better than she had
in days and days. True, she hadn’t moved yet, but for this one
moment in time nothing hurt. Not her head and not her heart. But as
for doing all the things she’d like to do to the mouth-watering
male next to her, she doubted she would have the stamina.
Damn. For now she’d have to make do with
planning out her moves for when she was back to normal, when she
wouldn’t have to hesitate to—
“Ready to go waterskiing?”
She laughed and James rolled over, his
movements smooth and easy. Almost catlike. He kissed her forehead
and rubbed noses with her. “Good morning, sunshine.” Then those
startling blue eyes were looking into hers, and forming thoughts
became very difficult.
“I think you’re the second biggest
surprise in my life,” she blurted.
His eyebrows went up. “Second? I’ll
have to try harder.”
“No, no, I mean, among the major cosmic
events in my life, you’re second. You would have been first, but
there’s this wolf—”
“A wolf took first place away from me?”
He looked amused.
“Maybe I should start at the beginning.
No, wait, let me think. I’m going to brush my teeth and think, and
then I want to tell you some things.”
She took her time in the bathroom. Last
night’s shower had made her hair dry in strange wisps and curls,
and she fought to tame it. It was harder to pull her thoughts
together, though. She was going to tell James about the white
wolf—and she was nervous. What if he didn’t believe her? At best,
she would feel ridiculous. At worst, it could end a very promising
relationship. How could she be with someone who would dismiss
something so important to her? Because the white wolf was important to her. The creature had not only saved
her life all those years ago, but it had been an important factor
in her recovery. And in her eventual choice of profession. What
role it played now, she didn’t know, but it was still very much a
part of her life. Even if she didn’t understand it.
When Jillian came out, she found James
brewing coffee in her tiny kitchen. He had pulled on his jeans, but
they were rakishly unbuttoned. She swallowed, hard, and forced her
eyes to look somewhere else. Anywhere else . . . Finally she
grabbed James’s hand and steered him to the table. “I have some
things I want to tell you, things that are important to me. Will
you listen?”
“Of course I will.”
“I mean, really
listen. All the way to the end and no falling asleep from
boredom.”
“Honey, you could read the phone book
to me and still have all of my attention. Whatever it is, if it’s
important to you, it’s important to me.”
She seriously doubted the phone book
thing, but not that he would listen. And so she told him. About the
attack, about the enormous white wolf that saved her. About the
effect the wolf had had on her life, about the reunion she’d had
with it—or one like it—since she’d arrived in Dunvegan. About the
DNA tests and her efforts to learn more about the wolf. Even about
the myths and legends she’d been reading and the dreams she’d had
lately. All of it. Every detail.
She took a deep breath then, not sure
of what to do now. She had to give James credit for paying
attention as he’d said he would. His intense gaze had never left
her face, his coffee sat untouched. But she couldn’t read his
expression and that worried her.
Finally he reached across the table and
took her hand. “You’ve had some very unique experiences. But the
wolf didn’t save you—”
“I see.” Disappointment shot through
her like broken glass. “I guess it all sounded pretty fantastic. I
don’t know why I thought you might believe me.”
“No! No, the wolf is real. There are
plenty of wolves that live in this area. And there’s a white one,
too.”
“You’ve seen it?” She narrowed her eyes
at him. He’d better not be trying to appease her by making this up.
“A huge one with unusual eyes?”
“Yes, I’ve seen it. Many
times.”
“Prove it.”
“It’s . . . it’s pure white but not an
albino. No black hairs on the ear tips, but it has a black nose,
black claws. Not just big, but a lot bigger than a normal wolf.
You’re not imagining it, honey.”
She took a deep breath, suddenly aware
she’d been holding it, and her eyes filled with tears. “So you do
believe me.”
“Well, why wouldn’t I? Even if I hadn’t
seen the wolf for myself, I’d still believe you.”
“I just . . . it’s just that, my head.
. . .” She stammered into silence.
“I get it. You have a brain
injury—”
“It’s just a concussion.” Technically a
concussion was a brain injury, but calling
it that made it sound so much worse.
“—so you expect people to question your
grip on reality. Maybe you’re questioning your grip on it,
too.”
She rested her chin in her hand. “I
guess maybe I am. That hallucination last week really threw me. I
mean, thinking that I saw the wolf turn into you. How crazy is
that? I’ve been a little worried about my sanity since. I know I
have the DNA results, but emotionally, I guess I still needed some
reassurance that the wolf is real. Really
real.”
“It’s living, breathing real.” He
smiled at her then. “Big. White. Blue eyes. Really real.”
“Thanks for that.”
“But it didn’t save you.”
“What?”
“That’s what I was trying to say. The
white wolf is real, it came to you and it chased the bad guys away.
But it didn’t save you, Jillian. You did that yourself. Sure, you
thought of the wolf a lot. But what you did was pick something to
hang on to, to build with. If it hadn’t been the wolf, you would
have found something else to use. You’re the
one that climbed up out of hell. You did it yourself, Jillian.
You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known.” His grip on her hand
tightened as he looked at the table for a long moment, then back at
her. “I wish I could say I’d been like that. When Evelyn died, I
wanted to die too. And I sort of did. I withdrew from everything
and everyone. I thought I was protecting them. I mean, after all,
loving me had gotten Evelyn killed—” He held up a hand as Jillian
started to protest. “No, it’s true. But I think I just might have
been protecting myself all this time, too.”
“Maybe you needed to.”
“Maybe. But I don’t need to now. And I
don’t want to now. I see you and I see not just someone I love, but
someone I want to be like.”
“You know, giving me a swelled head
just can’t be good for my concussion.”
He kissed her hand then, and held it to
his cheek for a moment. Then looked at her with a thoughtful
expression. “You know, some people would envy you the personal
encounters you’ve had with a wolf, the connection you seem to have
with it. Others might have a more negative outlook.”
“They might think I’m crazy? Hey, been
there.”
“Oh no, they’ll believe you. But
throughout history wolves have often been associated with evil.
Here you are with an up close and personal relationship with a wolf
and that makes you evil too, at least in some people’s
eyes.”
“Evil? You’re kidding. This is the
twenty-first century—how can people believe that?”
“Evil exists. What do you call the men
who attacked you?”
She was quiet then. Evil. “Okay, you’re right, there’s definitely human
evil. But wolves? That seems pretty extreme.”
“There are some extreme people in this
world. I’d want to be careful who I tell about this.”
“I guess you’re right.” She thought of
Douglas Harrison’s father, how he’d raved about the big white devil and warned her to run. But he was ill.
No one would take him seriously, would they? “Fortunately, I
haven’t taken out any ads in the newspaper. You and Birkie are the
only ones who know about the wolf. I’ve been meaning to talk to
Connor about it, but it seems every time I see him, we’re both
busy.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to tell Connor. But
otherwise, let’s keep it to ourselves.”
She nodded. “That makes sense. Besides,
it’s kind of special, this thing with the wolf. I don’t want to
tell everybody in the whole world. It’ll spoil the magic, somehow.
Maybe I’m afraid too, that if I talk about it too much, the wolf
will stop coming to see me.”
“I don’t think so. I think the wolf
will keep visiting for a long time to come.” He sounded dead
certain.
“I don’t want to be greedy. It’s so
wonderful that the wolf came to me at all, and to have gotten to
see it again . . . Well, there are no words. I’ll never understand
why it picked me, though. Why it would come here, come to me, of
all people.”
There was a long pause. “Wolves are
intelligent creatures.” He cleared his throat, seemed to be
measuring his words. “They’re sensitive. Curious. I imagine a wolf
can feel the good energy from a place, a person.”
“But it’s a wild animal.”
“Doesn’t matter. Are you afraid of
it?”
She didn’t have to think about that.
“Logically I ought to be. Anyone with sense would be. But no, I’m
not and I can’t exactly say why. I guess that sounds pretty
dumb.”
“No. You’re intelligent and sensitive
too. I’m pretty sure you would know if the animal meant you harm.
And I’m also certain that you’re not going to act like a tourist
with a bear and try to feed it marshmallows out of your
hand.”
“Well . . .” She recalled her encounter
on the trail below Elk Point. Even a tourist wouldn’t be crazy
enough to hug a wolf, and she decided not to mention that little
lapse of judgment. “I think a wolf would prefer dog biscuits, or
maybe bacon.”
He laughed then, leaned over the table
and kissed her. Sat back and put his hands behind his head. “So you
want to create a wildlife center?”
The muscles had shifted in that broad
Viking chest, and Jillian couldn’t help being fascinated. James
would have no trouble using one of those heavy broadswords from a
museum . . . or carrying her away. . . .
“Hello? Wildlife center?” He was
grinning as if he knew exactly what she’d been
thinking.
“It’s the next step for me.” She hoped
her face hadn’t gone red. She focused her eyes firmly on James’s
face. Although that was pretty distracting too. “A wildlife center,
I mean. I want to specialize in wildlife rehabilitation, especially
wolves.”
“Connor’s mentioned there’s a need for
one in this region. But I thought he treated plenty of wild
creatures in his clinic. Seems like there’s always a fawn or two,
or some kind of bird there. What would your center
do?”
“We can give initial treatment here,
but government policy dictates that the animals have to be shipped
immediately to a certified recovery center. The nearest one is
hundreds of miles away, and the travel subjects the animal to a
great deal of stress. Plus there aren’t enough rehab centers to
fill the need so too many animals end up euthanized that might have
been saved.” She rose and dumped the old pot of coffee, made fresh.
“I’d like to change that. If I had more experience under my belt, I
could write up a proposal, apply for a grant. Maybe some of the
local people would be interested, maybe volunteer some services to
help get it off the ground.”
“You’d need a place for it, though.
Some land.”
She slid a cup toward James and sat
down with her own. “That’ll be the tough part. A wildlife rehab
center takes a lot of space, and you have to own the land or have a
ninety-nine-year lease on crown land before you can apply for the
grants. There are all kinds of rules and regs.” She sighed. “I know
it’s a big dream. It’s going to take a lot of time and money to
make it come true. But someday.”
“I have some land.”
Jillian shook her head. “You have a
farm. For farming.”
“I also have land. I own a fair chunk
of the river valley. That’s not zoned for agriculture. Why couldn’t
we use that? We could start building anytime.”
“But . . . but you, why would, we
aren’t. . . .”
“You said I was the second biggest
surprise in your life. Well, you’re the number one biggest surprise
in mine, and I’m not letting you out of my sight again. I figure a
big project like a wildlife center should keep you here for a long,
long time. Maybe give me enough time to talk you into building a
life with me, too.”
“A life?” Jillian floundered, her heart
bumping against her ribs. She was dizzy but not from the
concussion. “I mean, we like each other and all but. . .
.”
He chuckled as he came around the
table, leaned his face close to hers, nuzzled her cheek. He brushed
her lips with his, making her breath hitch suddenly. “I think
there’s a lot more than ‘like’ between us, Jillian Descharme, and
we both know it. A lot more. And I want to
give you more. I want you to take more. Starting right now.” He
pulled her from the chair, kissed her long and slow and deep until
she sighed into his mouth. He steered her to the bed and laid her
on top of the blankets, followed her down. “I want to make love to
you, and I want you to just lie here and feel it. Don’t move, just
feel, okay? Nothing else.”
She frowned up at him. “It’s the
concussion, isn’t it? I don’t want you to make love to me if you
think I’m an invalid.”
“Uh-uh, it’s not like that.” He kissed
her again, slower. “Naturally I’d refrain from acrobatics for now,
but if I was afraid of hurting you, we wouldn’t be doing this at
all.” He had her attention now. Trailed his fingers along her face.
“I need this from you, Jillian. I don’t know how to explain it, I
just need you to feel. Feel me touching you,
feel my skin next to yours, feel me inside of you.” His voice
changed, thickened. The words came out so low and deep that she
could feel them vibrating within her. “Feel me. I want you to feel me, Jillian.” And
want me. Accept me. All of me.
Those last words resonated within her
head, almost seemed to originate there. She could swear he hadn’t
moved his lips. But he was moving them now, placing soft, sensual
kisses along her brow, over her eyelids, her temple. His mouth was
hot against her skin, soothing and arousing at the same time. Her
breath caught in her throat as he suckled her earlobe, nibbled
along the line of her jaw, and outlined her lips with the tip of
his tongue.
She was already dizzy and dazzled by
the time he slid his mouth over hers. His lips enticed, persuaded,
coaxed, with a relentless tenderness. She didn’t notice that the
buttons of her pajamas had been carefully undone, the material
pushed aside, until he pulled her closer, skin to heated skin. She
stretched catlike, instinctively basking in the delicious glowing
heat. Melted before it. Her heart pounded in her ears and a
delicious shiver began at the base of her spine.
Still kissing her, he rolled so that
she was on top. She shrugged out of her pajama top and pressed
herself against him again, luxuriated in the sensation of her
nipples against his hot skin, rubbed them over the crinkling of
hair on his broad chest until they stood out and her breasts felt
tight, aching. Needing. Until she had to shimmy up and present them
to be kissed. She moaned long and low as James obliged. His big
powerful hands roved over her back, the rough palms rasping
deliciously over her skin and helping her to shimmy out of the rest
of the pajamas. James cupped her bottom, kneaded and squeezed, even
as he continued to lavish attention on her breasts, building her
excitement to a fever pitch. She wanted, needed, had to have. She
could feel his hard erection straining upward against his jeans and
rocked her hips, rubbed herself against the bulging material. She
reached down for the zipper, but he caught her hand and kissed it,
rolled her neatly onto her back. “Yes, oh yes,” she breathed. “Now.
Now, now, now.”
“Not yet,” he said. “Later, later,
later.”
She groaned, reaching for his zipper
again, but he dodged, grabbing her hand, then seizing the other as
well. She tried to arch her back, strained to rub herself against
him but there was no relief from the wildness she felt, from the
frantic need. She turned her face away from his inflaming kisses.
“Stop teasing.”
He kissed her again, but softly.
Soothingly. “I’m not teasing you, sweetheart. I have an
itinerary.”
“An itinerary?
That’s for travelers.”
“A very strict itinerary. And I
am traveling. Watch me.” He kissed his way
rapidly from her throat to her navel, then continued his kisses
down her belly.
James nuzzled her mound, inhaled
deeply. Her scent was unique, delightful, enticing. It called to
him to taste. She cried out and came hard at the first stroke of
his tongue, sending a jolt of excitement through him. Quickly he
unzipped his jeans and slid them down before he strangled. Then
bent his head to her again, pressed his palms on the insides of her
thighs, holding her in place as she arched and bucked. He lapped at
the delicious downy folds, moaning deep in his throat as they
opened to him, revealed the tender pearl hidden away. Gently he
surrounded it with his lips, drew it into his mouth. Licked and
suckled it softly, felt it tighten like Jillian’s rose nipples. Her
gasps and cries of pleasure poured fuel on the fire in his own
body.
But this time was for her. He changed
tactics then, made long strokes with his tongue, darting it inside
her, then laving up and over her tiny bud. Plunge and stroke.
Plunge and stroke. Build the glorious tension within
her.
It was building in him too. Her
excitement was feeding his and his body craved release. But what he
craved more was the expression of things he couldn’t put into
words. The release he needed most was of unnamable feelings that
were suddenly crowding his heart. He could only show Jillian, let his touch give voice to what he
couldn’t say. He wanted so much to give and give to this woman,
touch her body until he touched her soul.
Orgasm rippled through her, this one
soft and long and sweet. He rose then, and was instantly dazzled by
the sight of her. The morning sunlight had splashed across her
translucent skin, gilding her delicate breasts and turning her sea
green eyes to emerald. She arched her hips upward to meet him as he
buried himself in her, joined with her in the bright clear
light.
James was more aware of his dual nature
than he had ever been. As a man, his heart was close to bursting
with a powerful mixture of joy and tenderness, with the rightness
of the moment. As a wolf, instinct older than time sang in his
veins, exulting in the taking of a mate. The knowledge that it was
for life welled up from his very soul, carried him higher and
higher until he tumbled into the heart of the sun.